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5/21 c7 Jacob Douglas Phantom
Please update your story soon!
10/25/2020 c7 Starlord Master
So serious.

Happy October!
10/25/2020 c6 Starlord Master
That’s tight.
10/25/2020 c5 Starlord Master
Interesting dialogue.
10/25/2020 c4 Starlord Master
What a poem.
10/25/2020 c3 Starlord Master
Harry is the man.
10/25/2020 c2 Starlord Master
Coolio.
10/25/2020 c1 Starlord Master
This rocks.
9/25/2020 c1 Hji
Man if you don't know wtf are you doing with the language then ask for help but pls don't butcher it like that. Is offensive
6/17/2020 c4 Elpatron11
you can do at least 60 chapters do a flurry paring, its fleur and harry
2/24/2020 c7 3WhiteElfElder
This Harry seems to be turning very pessimistic towards the magical world...which is good for his long life to follow.
2/24/2020 c6 WhiteElfElder
I have to say that you probably could have done the "Harry Potter Books" in another fic and not wasted half this chapter on them. While it is great that you wrote it...doesn't really help the story line.
2/6/2020 c1 PV Phong
I really like your script. I hope to see your latest chapter. thanks
2/3/2020 c3 Smutley Do-Wrong
"And why, pray tell, was I raised in the muggle world?" he asked, both genuine curiosity and slight irritation could just barely be discerned in his voice. Now that he was hearing about how famous he was, he had to wonder. Why was it that he was sent to the Dursley's?
If he was so famous, then why was he not brought up in the wizarding world?

So genius super Harry forgot:
"... he could extort the truth out of them when he was about to leave them for good ... a very reluctant Petunia told him that his mother was a witch ... he was left in their door ... house was somehow magically protected by the sacrifice of his mother, and so on, and so forth ..."
So an attentive reader has itch of the apparant error.
Then we get bandaid patch: "now that he remembered Petunia did say something about a magical protection in the house"

Which in that section. There's a bit of Harry fast flip flopping opinion of Dumbledore WHOM he's just begun to hear about:
""In that regard at least, Dumbledore had done right, and now that he remembered Petunia did say something about a magical protection in the house, but Harry smelled something, there was more to this story, more agendas, but he wasn't entirely sure that the professor in front of him knew anything else, she seemed sincere enough after all."

Harry felt anger, white-hot anger raging through him. Anger at Dumbledore for leaving him on the doorstep of those disgusting people.

Click... flip flop: "Harry felt anger, white-hot anger raging through him. Anger at Dumbledore for leaving"

An alternatiive is on page & possibly off page drip drip of info. Eg. Introspective narrative later, with Harry "recalling" clues, remarks, and speculating about Dumbledore and starting to form very negative opinion &/or suspicions.

"through the mail" on its own. For me, implied human postal carrier dropped in mailbox. As if rewrite forgot the parliament of owls.

You painted a fairy thick coat of Harry Stu paint.
In addition, magical world and its inhabitants get near bashing as Harry POV. Pub nasty filthy, persons all rude mob of grabby loud unclean stinky people.
Super Stu gets flaw out of the blue: agoraphobia.
Huh. So slightly less Stewed, not perfectly OP. And obvious source, before he flipped the hierarchy at #4, locked in cupboard. (Which btw, you might allude to a CHANGE? Eg. Unlike canon, as power mastered, Harry demands or seizes a spare room. Think prologue drops cupboard allusion. Later unclear what Harry's "room" is.)
2/2/2020 c2 Smutley Do-Wrong
Seemed a drop in quality from chap 1.
Also more SPaGs but that improved in second half of the chapter.

Well, you chose #4. I had been thinking a good chance a parliament of owls would flock over to the Alvin house. Lot options there, like confused by wrong addressed letters, but as parliament grows, some owls figure it out, fly to Alvin house.
I wondered also, if would be usual SOP of disposable OC's once Harry goes to Hogwarts. OR if they'd not disappear like is SOP. OR if one or both kids might get Hogwarts letter (which btw: "genius" girl or both siblings prodigies. Yet Harry tutors. I might have missed it. But seems more glossed over hints the twins are younger, but not explicitly spelling out the age gap between them and Harry.)
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