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6/1/2021 c1 5AutumnKL
I like the concept of this story, it's a nice feel good one shot and dedicated to one of the lesser known characters in DBZ so that's always good.

The character description of 17 and how fast the z-fighters just all decided to accept him is kinda ooc and too fast paced in my opinion. I have to agree with one other reviewer that it's weird for 17 to just go to Yamcha of all people. I too agree Piccolo is most likely the person he'd go to of all people, or even Krillin since he did saw 18 giving the guy a kiss. Thing is, 17 never even met Yamcha aside from perhaps a brief glance at Kame's House. A better point to start would be to have him revisit Kame house not sure what to do and then depends on who's on the island (you can have Yamcha there on visit along with Tien), it can start from there (17 doens't have an energy radar so it's impossible for him to track where Yamcha is in my opinion anyways).

How 17 tells Yamcha he just doesn't know what to do with his life anymore almost right off the bat is the first instance of his ooc as it comes across as too soft for the guy. 17 imo is playful but very proud of himself so to see such a 180, even if he did got eaten by Cell, was too much of a personality change for me. Take his sister for example, she doesn't open herself up at all at Kami's lookout even after learning she's been rescued so the chance of 17 opening up to random stranger and start going soft really pulls me out of this story. How Yamcha and Tien would just bring 17 over to Gohan's place so everyone can train is also rushed. Chichi and Bulma's part later on also has the same issue. Piccolo's part is more believable but I wished there could've been a bit more dialogue to establish how these two overcame their animosity.

This story definitely has heart but the execution is too hurried and buildup insufficient. I can see how 17 would eventually form a beautiful friendship like how you described at the end but other than that, the amount of oocs and insufficient description of the gang's inner struggle with accepting an android makes it hard for me to become immersed in this well intentioned story.
7/31/2018 c1 245Nate Grey
While I could see Android 17 being somewhat of a blank state at this point in DBZ, and possibly even looking up Z Fighters for suggestions, that is the point where we differ in opinion. The only possible reason I could see him going to Yamcha first is because Yamcha would have one of the lowest threat levels, if in fact a misunderstanding occurred and a fight did break out. There just doesn't seem to be any other reason to approach Yamcha first. And if anything, Yamcha might be somewhat traumatized about androids approaching him alone, all things considered...
Of all the Z Fighters, the one I would expect 17 to approach first is Piccolo. I feel that during their fight, there was a mutual respect established. So even if Piccolo did attack first and ask questions later, I think he would be able to see or sense the difference in 17's motives before anyone else would. He would have been the one Z Fighter that spent the most time interacting with 17, and so would have the best idea of how 17 thinks and behaves.
But other than that, I think it's an excellent starting point for a story on how 17 might change his ways, or start down a different path.
5/5/2018 c1 53Sonar
It seems all right.

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