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for The Unspoken Option

5/22/2018 c1 50Martin III
As you've by now discovered, the "Misc. Games" section is basically a dumping ground for fanfics that will (almost) never be read, which perhaps explains why most of the fics in this section don't even identify what fandom they're for; the authors have no intention that they will be read.

But I am glad to see a fic for this game, and you've done a fine job with it too. You've effectively captured the underlying feelings of Kyosuke, Mari, and Tsukiko, and brought them out in a suitably dramatic manner. Tsukiko is plainly in love with Kyosuke, but is held back by her guilt about Mari and her feelings of inadequacy. You feel like, even after what happens at the end, Tsukiko still feels like she doesn't deserve Kyosuke.

The conversation about Tsukiko getting raped runs a bit awkward and hard to swallow, but that kind of fits with the game's own awkward addressing of the fact that Tsukiko is a serial killer (no one even considers the possibility of jail time for Tsukiko, and in the pink ending you'd think Kyosuke and Mari would be at least a little nervous about working with someone who might at any time decide to stab them in their sleep). The only way Gear Detective's story makes any sense is if you assume it takes place in some freaky world where things like murder and rape are considered no big deal. At any rate, the awkwardness didn't bother me much.

In fact, the only point at which you really part ways with the game is when Kyosuke tells Tsukiko that he doesn't have romantic feelings for Mari, and honestly, I think the game's protagonist lusting after a 16-year-old who looks like a 10-year-old is something most people would rather have forgotten. So kudos on that point as well.

The lemon is well done, very eloquent. Having peeked at the unabridged version of this fic, I can say you're dead right that most of the lemon was unneeded. There's a certain beauty to it, in that it concentrates as much on their feelings for each other as it does on the physicality, but as with most lemons, it adds nothing to the plot and the nitty-gritty details are better left to the reader's imagination.

All in all, good job bringing Tsukiko and Kyosuke together. I was rather frustrated that the best you can do for Tsukiko in the game is have her be Kyosuke's concubine while he marries a child; this nicely corrects that while staying true to the characters in every respect.

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