5/22/2018 c1 5peccolia
You already know how EXCITED I’ve been to read this rewrite, so I’ll cut to the chase and just let you know YES I am so GLAD this is HAPPENING! Thank you.

I missed Hashira and Yanemaru so much, you don’t even know. Those two’s relationship as definitely an inspiration for how I considered writing siblings, before, and I can’t wait to see how they interact in the future. But Hashira worries me—what’s with the goldfish memory? Is she forgetting who she is or is it just an early childhood brain development interference? Is she going to permanently forget who she was? Ah—no. I typed too soon. Seems like she remembers Feudal Japan and Uchiwa fans, so I guess she did retain memories. Whew!

“She felt the world dying around her, and she hated it.” I love that line. Such. A powerful one. I also love how your writing has grown and developed! Such a fast-paced, action-packed beginning.

Ah, what a great first chapter. I’m so excited to see where you take this fic’s new form. Best of luck with it and nice work!

5/21/2018 c1 2Abundant E
YESSSSSS WELL DONE! I know that a rewrite can be really difficult sometimes so congrats on getting the first chapter up!

ok so on to the actual chapter: when I heard Yanemarus name I was like oh shit I remember him! i remember him being a bit of a brat hahahaha and I’m glad to see that he still kind of is a brat! And Hashira. I love her passiveness to the whole situation but also how annoyed she is! I feel like I’d definitely react how she did

also liked the brief introduction to the parents! I think it was done well and I mean I’m not sure what to think of them, although tbh I love the father just because of the name Kuro idk I just know a lot of amazing characters called Kuro but I mean he did kind of knock his daughter out but that makes sense (maybe)

And I presume Hashira is something like a sensor-nin? Or just really sensitive to chakra? Either way I’m excited to see how that part develops!

really really good first chapter I can’t even describe and put into words how much your writing has improved! Like seriously. It’s insane. you should be so proud and I’m so freaking excited to see where this goes!

5/21/2018 c1 Bisque-Ware
Such an interesting setting, I wonder how old she is in comparison to Madara and Hashirama.