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for The rebirth of the yellow flash

5/25/2018 c1 ElementShots
Excited to see where this goes
5/25/2018 c1 2Draco8762
Okay, this is not hate from my end or anyone else's but I agree with, Novrier and Mindovin. They both made excellent points, this chapter no matter how big it is seems kind of rushed to get to the main story even if it is prologue. Now, except Lee, everyone has a form of elemental release. (Im not counting people from fillers since I skipped the chunin one in the anime)

Another thing, there has to be a background from the Namikaze clan and why Kushina is a "bitch". Now I get that she is OOC but even with it, there should be a story as to why. Like she was bullied too much so to hide her true feelings she is a bitch now. Or she was hurt really bad by someone she cared about and in order never to let people get close she turned into a bitch. You know something to that nature.

Lastly is the jutsu battle. You need to be a bit more descriptive instead of shouting out jutsu's. A long with that, bloodlines and elements are different like Mindovin stated. Yamato can use wood jutsu which is a combination of Earth and Water. Now Kakashi can use practically any jutsu except blood line ones if you catch what I am saying.

Anyways thats all for my review, hopefully this helps a little. Good luck with this fic!
5/25/2018 c1 Mindovin
Develop the characters that readers feel pairing is natural, not forced.
Don't bash characters and go with reason-action-reaction/consequences sequence.
There is no civilian council or even shinobi other than an emergency situation, just elders and Danzo doesn't include in that and for advice only.
I agree with most of the things Novrier said other than this below;
1)Look at the databooks or narutopedia and you can see most of the characters have multi-affinity. Tsunade who doesn't use any elemental technique has 4 affinities, Sakura 2, Neji 3, Hinata 2, Gai 2 elemental affinity. Bloodline is different. Ice users able to use Wind and Water separately but Wind and Water user can't create Ice.
5/25/2018 c1 2biginferno
I am 100 percent for naruto x samui
5/25/2018 c1 Hachiman Hikkigya
Nice chap
5/25/2018 c1 1Novrier
Hmm, alright, lets see now.
First of all, the authors note at the start of the story. Have you heard of this thing called spoilers? Well, you started with out big spoiler. Basically revealing a ton of stuff that should be given through the story itself.
The story itself starts with a bit of a prologue that sets up future events. That is very good. You establish the universe so that things would make sense. Very nice indeed.
At the same you sort of rushed those events. Madara's story alone could fill a few arcs, but was basically breezed over. And yes, I understand that it was supposed to be a prologue and not be focused on, but ... come on, that part was actually interesting.
Moving on, the whole Minato and Kyubi incident was again, interesting, but again, rushed. Actually that is the main problem so far. You have one chapter (admittedly relatively big one), but the vents you described require a couple of arcs or at least a few chapters each. As a result the events in their core are interesting, but everything happens so fast that it is hard to really enjoy anything at times. And yes, again, prologue, I get it, but that is not a good excuse.
Fight scenes ... need work. For the most part it is people yelling out jutsus. It needs work to reflect that action, speed and tension of the events. Those fights were supposed to be epic, but honestly, some thing like a well written bell test is a times more interesting than this.
Finally a few plot things to point out.
One of the main problems, the first chapter felt like a bit wall of exposition.
Namikaze clan ... what Namikaze clan? Alright, if want there to be one, do it. But if you take at least some time to establish past events, give the clan some time and not just sate that it exists.
Kushina is a bitch because ... reasons? Plot demands it? Made no sense to me.
Naruto with a ton of a affinities. Err, people can have only one affinity unless they have a bloodline. Doesn't stop them from learning other elements, they just have a harder time at that. Take Hiruzen, he had affinity for fire, but mastered all five. Honestly, stuffing characters with affinities is kind of overused, cliched and for the most part boring. Better to have a character with a small arsenal of well developed abilities instead of pretty much everything but a kitchen sink.
Samui pairing. Umm, I can live with pretty much any pairing, so this is more of a note. You do realise she is 13 - 14 years older than him, right? She was 29 in Shippuuden. Most people for some reason think they are the same age.
So overall, I 'd say with some more polishing and a slower, more stable pacing this can be a very good story.
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