for A Tale of First Contact6/2/2018 c1 Fizz
How long has it been since RWBY? I bet by now they would have Penny like androids (human looking but maybe not with soul) running around if far enough.
How long has it been since RWBY? I bet by now they would have Penny like androids (human looking but maybe not with soul) running around if far enough.
6/2/2018 c1 Guest
I wonder how aliens fit in a universe where magic and brother gods exist?
I wonder how aliens fit in a universe where magic and brother gods exist?
6/1/2018 c1 
2Not-KamalaKhan315
It has potential, but you really need to work on your word choice and grammar. I see more than a few mistakes. Also, for a prologue chapter, the narrator was a little too casual. The point of the prologue is to establish the setting and set the stage for the story proper. While you accomplished this, your word choice did not inspire as much imagination and wonder as it should. For one, you put in too many fourth wall breaking asides in the way of "before you ask". It's kinda distracting after the third time and takes away what's suppose to imerse the reader into this wonderful setting. And I get, humanity is stubborn, you don't have to repeat it a three or four times. The premise is interesting, but it raises a few questions. You maintained that Dust can't work out of Remnant but then contradicted that by having it on other worlds and even used it in part to make Remnant tech (I get that the eezo should help, but I get the feeling that Dust doesn't work that way). I get that you can't make RWBY without Aura or Dust weapons, but mass effect technology can produce the same weapons and Aura is personally tied to a person's soul and could work without Dust in theory. You would think that Remnant's scientists and mystics could find a way to make eezo tech to work with Aura. I would've just ditched the Dust and went full on eezo, while preserving all the RWBY elements and adapting it to the new tech. Dust will only become a crutch in a space opera. Besides, if Dust appeared in other worlds, why hasn't the Citadel races encountered it by now? While I love what you are doing and I like that you are not doing humanity ef yeah, but you should really think about how things should work for the world to make sense. Redo this chapter if you need to. Hell, I'll be willing to message some suggestions and do revisions if need be. It's not like I have anything better to do. I hope you listen to my advice, but also hope that this message doesn't discourage or anger you. You are in the right direction, but are in need of some constructive criticism based on the lack of it in the reviews so far. I just want to see a good ME fusion fic in a genre dominated by human exceptionalism.
2Not-KamalaKhan315It has potential, but you really need to work on your word choice and grammar. I see more than a few mistakes. Also, for a prologue chapter, the narrator was a little too casual. The point of the prologue is to establish the setting and set the stage for the story proper. While you accomplished this, your word choice did not inspire as much imagination and wonder as it should. For one, you put in too many fourth wall breaking asides in the way of "before you ask". It's kinda distracting after the third time and takes away what's suppose to imerse the reader into this wonderful setting. And I get, humanity is stubborn, you don't have to repeat it a three or four times. The premise is interesting, but it raises a few questions. You maintained that Dust can't work out of Remnant but then contradicted that by having it on other worlds and even used it in part to make Remnant tech (I get that the eezo should help, but I get the feeling that Dust doesn't work that way). I get that you can't make RWBY without Aura or Dust weapons, but mass effect technology can produce the same weapons and Aura is personally tied to a person's soul and could work without Dust in theory. You would think that Remnant's scientists and mystics could find a way to make eezo tech to work with Aura. I would've just ditched the Dust and went full on eezo, while preserving all the RWBY elements and adapting it to the new tech. Dust will only become a crutch in a space opera. Besides, if Dust appeared in other worlds, why hasn't the Citadel races encountered it by now? While I love what you are doing and I like that you are not doing humanity ef yeah, but you should really think about how things should work for the world to make sense. Redo this chapter if you need to. Hell, I'll be willing to message some suggestions and do revisions if need be. It's not like I have anything better to do. I hope you listen to my advice, but also hope that this message doesn't discourage or anger you. You are in the right direction, but are in need of some constructive criticism based on the lack of it in the reviews so far. I just want to see a good ME fusion fic in a genre dominated by human exceptionalism.
6/1/2018 c1 Guest
Pretty great
Can't wait for next chapter and how first contact will actually go
Pretty great
Can't wait for next chapter and how first contact will actually go
6/1/2018 c1 CheesusChrist15
I like it, though I do find it sad that they haven’t found any alternative to dust
I like it, though I do find it sad that they haven’t found any alternative to dust
5/31/2018 c1 Artyom-Dreizehn
This is really intriguing, First time I saw a fic like this with RWBY and Mass Effect
This is really intriguing, First time I saw a fic like this with RWBY and Mass Effect
5/31/2018 c1 8ian25rebel
May the batarians feel the full force of the grimm thanks to their slave's negativity. That will be enjoyable to watch. So what's the scenario that replaces the first contact war?
8ian25rebelMay the batarians feel the full force of the grimm thanks to their slave's negativity. That will be enjoyable to watch. So what's the scenario that replaces the first contact war?
5/31/2018 c1 Guest
hell yeah its good. looking forward to the next chapter
hell yeah its good. looking forward to the next chapter