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for Unexpected Night When Bella,Swan Walked Into F

6/18/2018 c1 2Liz 1974
well Guest Reviewer Sorry u do not like my story I put it was unbeta'dit is possible for a couple to have sex for 9 hours if they take small breaks I did include it bc doesn't need to be included If u did pose it so much DO NOT READ THE REST OF THE STORY
6/11/2018 c1 Run on sentence
First of all, your AN is very off putting. It just screamed hateful, which might be OK, if you had the actual right to demand those things of readers.
Your capacity for punctuation was unparalleled. And your attention to detail was spot on. The fact that you said B/E had sexual relations three months ago and she was 16 weeks pregnant?! She either wasn’t a virgin as she claimed and had became pregnant by some one else or you need to get and keep your facts straight. Also, no virgin is going to go for 9 hours on their first sexual encounter, with a dildo in their ass, & orgasm multiple times, it just doesn’t work that way. The grandmother had 6 sets of multiple births and a few were sextuplets? Holy cow, woman, what was she, part golden retriever? Were you trying for comedy? That’s what you were doing, wasn’t it? There’s spellcheck out there (for free), & almost everyone knows the basic use of a period.

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