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4/18/2019 c13 Guest
Enjoyed the 2nd half of this chapter quite a bit - probably because it focused on Riley and Zack - which is always something special.
4/1/2019 c12 Guest
This is darker than most of your stories...

Wonder how it will end.
11/8/2018 c8 6owlhero
This whole scene spells out the chaotic Mannings/Jacksons household in spectacular entertaining fashion.

I have to agree about the Sydney's comments all the way around. Sometimes he still acts his age emotionally. The three youngest jacksons are a handful by themselves. Its so unfair to Christian.

The table organization is special considering how much you planned it out with that natural transition to Riley's thoughts.

This is one of the more subtle yet nastier versions of Robert I remember seeing in a while with the trauma triggers.

I dont remember seeing anyone using Max's place as a setting. It must be a decent size to hold the party. Its impossible to completely hide the evidence. Riley's instinctive feeling has to be developed, which makes you feel for Riley.

Riley's nervous energy is doubling as being on edge constantly.

You are making it easy to dislike Ian. Or is it my suspicious mind? The word body shots to Riley were cruel bulls eye. He's a dick with a superiority complex. Its sadly realistic how one word can tear you down so easily. How fragile psychology is.

Its like Ian is the rock and Robert was the hard place, the jacksons surrounded by pressure, squeezing the Jacksons into the smallest versions of themselves. A half-life existence.

Its obvious Ian gets a kick out of the situation. You undercut Riley easily here at the end. Everyone has their limits against their stressors.
11/6/2018 c7 owlhero
As much as an egghead as I am, I would be a little annoyed to have a brother like Cody on some occasions.

The short time frame does add to the tension (and my amusement). His emotional maturity was added to with Zack's getting past of his Maddie crush. So Ian could the blackhole of sadness and mystery disrupting everybody's lives. Or the weight crushing them.

But at least the bond is still there between the boys especially Cody would be one of the first to nail Zack's problem.

Okay I laughed at Zack's excuse for Janice and Jessica. Cody's right about Ian and Ziley. Besides Zack's choice dont appear to be very good. Helpless to Destructive.
11/6/2018 c6 owlhero
Sports debates always seem to be one topic most relationships can safely fight over. Spiders is the one animal I never understood with Australia... The other famous one sure... Anyway Zack's point is true. But their relationship sometimes you need sometime to enjoy life with.

You never quite miss life in the city with the parking. But you cant blame for having those thoughts about growing old.

Of course, Zack steps on the landmine about the food and money. Really smart.

I have to wonder Riley's past with food affects her relationship with considering what he is still going through? Although I think for both its hard to get rid of old habits even they were for survival.

If I did not read that earlier chapter, someone would suspect something was up with Ian. So much of a killjoy. But his advice will cause trouble for Zack.
11/6/2018 c5 owlhero
Its amazing how diverse cooking skills can be in a family.

I can see Zack doing that stupid bet. Its disgusting but still so like him. Pearl's line about relationship did make me smile and Grandpa's jim's intervention made me laugh. I love how Carey turned the questioning on the boys.

To be frank it would be insane if one of Carey's parents did not like Kurt just on principle. But at least he's has some allies. Poor Carey trying to fight a losing battle with Kurt and her family female attitudes.

Zack's insecurities are perfectly normal with his background. I think in some ways, Zack like a challenge of the forbidden fruit in his relationships. The prospect of his grandparents not supporting any relationship would drive Zack a little nuts.

The background on the divorce was a nice little tidbit to drop in and it makes sense from both sides with the excuses.

Riley's arrival was perfection. Zack's reflection on Riley's also casts a light on his progression of how he views her. The old cell phone plan line, although there is some added weight to it.

At least you are able to laugh and grimace at your old stuff.
11/2/2018 c7 Guest
Liked it a lot. Update soon.
10/11/2018 c6 Guest
Ahhh... The "fun" starts...
9/14/2018 c5 Guest
Your "notes" are interesting. I agree with you that it's the relationship between Zack and Riley that makes this series special.
8/14/2018 c4 owlhero
This new view on Riley is very enjoyable from inside her. Lying is an essential part of her, like believing. So yes karma could be coming to get her. there's only so much you balance or hold together. A broken mirror with tape all over it.

The added part about not being believed created a tragic situation. Of course it makes dislike Robert even more. Ian so similar to him by trying to control the situation. The situation written out while she was sitting there waiting seems like quicksand. Knowing its dangerous and curiosity getting the best of her.

Okay Ian does seem to have a bit of an arrogance streak in him. But then again, there's bias here with Riley involved. I love the way you pull Riley's defensive holes into full view with "the pier in a storm" paragraph.

Two damaged and forgiving souls looking to support have found each other. Even harder for Zack and Riley with Ian around. But you know she's right about Zack being apart. It was so easy (too easy) for Zack's family to tear him down.

You make me stop and look at things differently and that's always needed.

Okay Ian just upgraded to a donkey (insert other word due to censor). But he's not stupid remembering Rhu's symptoms and tying to Zack. the anger fueled strength here is wonderful. But the quicksand still surrounds Riley while being torn apart from the inside. For Zack its food. For Riley, its confidence I guess.

Ian's excuse seems reasonable but there's has to be something there like Riley thinks especially he has a reason for tearing Riley down again.

Let's see Riley continue to show that strength in the future.
8/14/2018 c3 owlhero
Well the wake up call argument is probably a daily thing for the boys. Still entertaining. i mean what sibling would not tease their brother about Cody's intimacy shyness? Some arguments and tactics will never die.

I think all mothers have the same reaction as Carey when it comes to their children growing up.

I wonder how far Moseby wold go to get rid of the twins. Broadway does not seem to be enough. i highly doubt Zack would bludgeon Cody with his skateboard. whack him with a newspaper, perhaps. No evidence.

I think Zack's mental fight against his condition might never be completely over. Especially conditions like that start early, small and almost completely unnoticeable at first. Zack's clothing habit will NEVER change.

The whole end of the scene could been added to the show's theme. Oh wait you took inspiration from it...

Sometimes you dont want to know how something is made...I dont anyone like Tapeworm here. Kind of hard to ignore the money.

Running off Zack's bad habits is not going to help him, but its too much fun. Wow, I laughed at the porn mags but its Kurt's so its not surprising.

I love Max here and you gave legitimate depth to zack with his fears and its understandable as well.
You know Tapeworm has a point about twin communication between the martins' but there would go half the comedy. But the back and forth between everyone is fine.

Public nudity...okay but he's trying to get past the nudes situation but we shall see how things progress from here.
8/14/2018 c2 owlhero
Some chaos and destruction surround the Jacksons. Isn't it charming (and maddening) to discover they will find every little exception or hole in everything said?

Separating life into sections allow some sense of control and prospective. Of course just what Riley needs is Ian. So much layered past impacting the present. A whirlwind of emotions.

I have to feel for Crystal with the whole situation. It always seems the attic is the one to find solace or a hiding place. Chrystal;s idea about the cops is right, but Riley's right about the jurisdiction. Besides I doubt the locals would put a cop or undercover outside his place without actual proof.

A manipulative, possessive person seems to be Riley's worst kind and the weariness results.

I forgot about Amber. Riley and Zack always seem to improve each other's mood. Damn Ian what a kill joy.
8/13/2018 c1 owlhero
Typical Zack attempting to show off while trying to protect his social status. The multiple sports going on at once in a small space reminds me of high school.

Having Bob around adds an unused element in most stories. The date line is always good to use. The twins running argument is very entertaining if not a little overboard.

You can see why Carey was annoyed later on. We all wish our siblings had off buttons for certain things. Okay I can most definitely see Zack hearing the "wah-wah" sound a lot. Whether it be Cody, carey or even Moseby.

The red bull stash sounds typical of a high schooler. Wny not drink Tipton employee coffee? Zack uses everything else.

I like the little mental details you give Zack with his internal confidence. Maybe I am imagining things but I thought grandparents were mentioned in the show. If not, the depth you gave them was wonderful.

Of course the twins' combativeness could be viewed in so many ways. What child does not like their parents being lectured on occasion?

I always seem to find the multiple levels of Riley's and Zack's relationship enjoyable. With Ian around, things are going to get even more complicated. Riley cant prevent from Zack knowing forever.

I guess the hardest part is figuring where the stories overlap each other.
7/23/2018 c3 Guest
Fun chapter!
6/11/2018 c1 Guest
What a pleasant surprise to find this gem!

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