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1/19 c29 Guest
autistic retard, lol. kys.
11/24/2019 c1 Guest
Fellow autist here, after reading and analyzing the chapter with post-nut clarity, i would like to say:

1. Please add more variety to the sex; all the scenes go sweet smell, doggy style, suck tits. Maybe add a paizuri/boob-job scene or a blowjob or anal or anything really to spice things up a bit.

2. Separate the chunks of text into paragraphs to adjust the format.

3. Maybe a bit more plot to add some cohesion (this is the most optional as it is your story).

Overall: an interesting read, but could have better execution.
7/23/2019 c28 1Alfred7035
every chapter is the same. joey has a bit of fun, finds a pokemon to have sex with and fucks it. end of chapter. at least change some chapters up. and the chapters are too short. and no paragraphs. all the basic problems that exist with this story. i will leave now.
4/29/2019 c23 Pubg player
I love your story, and im also autistic
4/12/2019 c14 King Lunar Knights the Alicorn
This is an awesome story. I have always liked stories that have to do with female Anthro Pokemon. Keep up the excellent work.
11/1/2018 c27 1DoomDragynExcylier
Okay, so for one, you need to learn how to segue better. The story jumps all over the place too quickly, as if this guy is teleporting around. Try not to reference to things from other stories while writing, as many people will not take the time to look it up, and just get tired of it eventually. You want to describe everything, the gestures, tones, lighting, yada yada yada...

TL:DR: You need to heavily overhaul your plot and description. You seem to be going too much for quantity, rather than quality. Develop your plot, give contrasting personalities to characters, etc.

Hope this helps somewhat.

-DDE
10/22/2018 c1 No
Just...just why? I would recommend that you try to structure this a bit better. Capital letter at the start of a sentence, commas and periods in the right places, capital letter when starting dialect and a comma (most of the time) before dialect begins if in the middle or end of a sentence, always capitalize the I if it is alone, and check for spelling errors.
Also, get a job mate.
Cheers
10/21/2018 c27 King Popoto
This is some weapon's grade autism right here.
10/23/2018 c27 13Blades of Chance
You are doing well for yourself. Also how many more chapters are you planning?
10/2/2018 c1 Jwkdm90kd
Alright, first off. Please make sure to put more paragraphs for as. It's a little hard to read.

Second, hate to break it to you, but this is breaking the guidelines. There is adult fanfiction though, so just upload on there and everything should be all good.

Take care and good luck.
9/4/2018 c1 2DuskenWillow
Hey disclaimer, this is just my interpretation of the first chapter.
It's quite funny in all honesty. I lost it when he said his cat's name was Piggie. Any whose its, I suggest some more expeirience is needed. Otherwise it won't be taken siriously. Unless that was what you were going for. Unseroious. Good job and luck to you
9/3/2018 c1 darkstel
so I hate anthro harems in this world. Of too much. . . . and eventually get a stream of shitty repetitive work.
8/31/2018 c1 L8F02
Insignia:TRGAAISFEGJRASX44RR23AIH97GNN52EPVRO14LH
This is a message to all who hate CU.
You need to wake up and harrass them into submission! FU CU is the motto!
Viva La Revolution.
Mary out.
8/31/2018 c1 SAVYF
C6VTD29WMRB9HFGDR4IDGX06FU CU! DEATH TO CRITICS!
8/29/2018 c20 13Blades of Chance
Nice work. Ignore the critics united guy. They can't do jack
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