for What's With This Sassy Lonely Princess?1/13/2019 c5 Solars
Can I ask that you don't make me feel sad knowing that Book 2 is a thing, regarding Veronica? Please? I don't want to feel pain. Also, May 30th was the first Bridal Banner...dang, Kiran's thirst will create an Ocean, if it's what I think it is. All that aside, this was a great chapter full of so much Kiran and Veronica goodness. I anticipate more.
Can I ask that you don't make me feel sad knowing that Book 2 is a thing, regarding Veronica? Please? I don't want to feel pain. Also, May 30th was the first Bridal Banner...dang, Kiran's thirst will create an Ocean, if it's what I think it is. All that aside, this was a great chapter full of so much Kiran and Veronica goodness. I anticipate more.
1/13/2019 c1 
7Velosaurus
Alright, time for the first of my reviews. I’ll probably do the first three chapters if you don’t mind.
The prose is fairly well done so far. Of particular note is the level of detail in Veronica’s description. A lot of fanfic writers don’t really focus on the appearances of the characters, and I can understand that given how the audience is intended to be familiar with them already, but it’s something I’ve always enjoyed doing. Anyone could picture Veronica with ease after reading your description, even if they’ve never played Heroes, and the imagery is excellent.
One criticism I have of the prose is that you frequently start a new paragraph in the middle of a character’s dialogue, even though the speaker hasn’t changed. Perhaps this is a stylistic choice of yours, but it was a little jarring to me. Your use of punctuation and grammar creates occasionally wonky sentences. For example, “From her back, a cape lined with rich crimson silk fluttered languidly in the light breeze, complementing her eyes, which, Kiran thought, as they walked closer towards her, were a rather becoming shade of red.” Wow, that’s a barrage of commas. A sentence like that may not be wrong, but it can be a little awkward to read. The choice of punctuation and how sentences are written is entirely up to you, of course, but that’s just my two cents.
Everyone feels in character to me. It’s a little unbelievable that most of the characters would allow Kiran to speak one on one to Veronica for so long, especially the grunt Embla (Emblan?) soldiers, but it fits with the comedic tone I’m getting from this fic. Veronica is an interesting character. You handle her subtle nuances well, and her reaction to Kiran perfectly fit her from what I remember. I’m considerably less interested in Kiran, but maybe that’s normal? I only remember him as a player substitute from when I played Heroes. That said, Kiran being very forward with his advances was entertaining.
I’ll always give writers the benefit of the doubt when they want to break traditional linear storytelling in their chapters, and your little bonus segments at the end were entertaining. The idea that the war between Askr and Embla would end because Kiran and Veronica became instant best buddies is too funny.
7VelosaurusAlright, time for the first of my reviews. I’ll probably do the first three chapters if you don’t mind.
The prose is fairly well done so far. Of particular note is the level of detail in Veronica’s description. A lot of fanfic writers don’t really focus on the appearances of the characters, and I can understand that given how the audience is intended to be familiar with them already, but it’s something I’ve always enjoyed doing. Anyone could picture Veronica with ease after reading your description, even if they’ve never played Heroes, and the imagery is excellent.
One criticism I have of the prose is that you frequently start a new paragraph in the middle of a character’s dialogue, even though the speaker hasn’t changed. Perhaps this is a stylistic choice of yours, but it was a little jarring to me. Your use of punctuation and grammar creates occasionally wonky sentences. For example, “From her back, a cape lined with rich crimson silk fluttered languidly in the light breeze, complementing her eyes, which, Kiran thought, as they walked closer towards her, were a rather becoming shade of red.” Wow, that’s a barrage of commas. A sentence like that may not be wrong, but it can be a little awkward to read. The choice of punctuation and how sentences are written is entirely up to you, of course, but that’s just my two cents.
Everyone feels in character to me. It’s a little unbelievable that most of the characters would allow Kiran to speak one on one to Veronica for so long, especially the grunt Embla (Emblan?) soldiers, but it fits with the comedic tone I’m getting from this fic. Veronica is an interesting character. You handle her subtle nuances well, and her reaction to Kiran perfectly fit her from what I remember. I’m considerably less interested in Kiran, but maybe that’s normal? I only remember him as a player substitute from when I played Heroes. That said, Kiran being very forward with his advances was entertaining.
I’ll always give writers the benefit of the doubt when they want to break traditional linear storytelling in their chapters, and your little bonus segments at the end were entertaining. The idea that the war between Askr and Embla would end because Kiran and Veronica became instant best buddies is too funny.
1/13/2019 c5 1NintendoDisney
This story is amazing and adorable! And I like the seriousness add in this chapter. You have a nice balance between story and Veronica being Best Girl.
1NintendoDisneyThis story is amazing and adorable! And I like the seriousness add in this chapter. You have a nice balance between story and Veronica being Best Girl.
12/26/2018 c4 StrikR
Man oh man is this great! Veronica is an innocent cinnamon roll, and she shall be protected! And shipped! That is also important! But really, I love this, so thanks for doing it man.
Man oh man is this great! Veronica is an innocent cinnamon roll, and she shall be protected! And shipped! That is also important! But really, I love this, so thanks for doing it man.
12/2/2018 c4 For the Glory of Nohr
I’m in love with this story! Seriously, bravo this story is extremely adorable and very well written. I can’t wait for its upcoming chapters!
I’m in love with this story! Seriously, bravo this story is extremely adorable and very well written. I can’t wait for its upcoming chapters!
11/11/2018 c4 4Recursive Logic
This new chapter is really long, which is nice. Really, the best part of the chapter is the interactions between Noble!Kiran and Costume!Veronica, where Veronica merely sees Kiran as a real weird noble, and it makes a great mix between Serious!Veronica and how Veronica acts around Kiran.
The characterization of Leticia was excellent too, even if I want more of her than what we got. Her mischievous comments and overall helpfulness make me want to see her all the time, every chapter.
Final thoughts: Big boi chapter shows off Epic!Maid, also pumpkins.
4Recursive LogicThis new chapter is really long, which is nice. Really, the best part of the chapter is the interactions between Noble!Kiran and Costume!Veronica, where Veronica merely sees Kiran as a real weird noble, and it makes a great mix between Serious!Veronica and how Veronica acts around Kiran.
The characterization of Leticia was excellent too, even if I want more of her than what we got. Her mischievous comments and overall helpfulness make me want to see her all the time, every chapter.
Final thoughts: Big boi chapter shows off Epic!Maid, also pumpkins.
11/8/2018 c4 Serana Ass Enjoyer
Didn't Tiki at least 'Young' Tiki use Old English as well? She at least had a British VA in FE Warriors.
Great Chapter as always.
Didn't Tiki at least 'Young' Tiki use Old English as well? She at least had a British VA in FE Warriors.
Great Chapter as always.
11/3/2018 c4 7KRKing
Another one... Another one? ANOTHER ONE! THANK YOU! ALL HAIL VERONICA AND HER BUNDLE OF CUTENESS!
7KRKingAnother one... Another one? ANOTHER ONE! THANK YOU! ALL HAIL VERONICA AND HER BUNDLE OF CUTENESS!
11/3/2018 c4 OccasionallyCompetent
So...much... cute...
This may be the sweetest thing that's come out of Halloween this year!
So...much... cute...
This may be the sweetest thing that's come out of Halloween this year!
10/21/2018 c3 Guest
Love this story! Can’t wait for the next chapter!
Love this story! Can’t wait for the next chapter!
9/30/2018 c3 KRKing
So what will happen to Kiran, if he met two Veronica's, one that is the original and the other the Brave Heroine version? Is he going to choose being loyal to his feelings only to the original Veronica? Or a Threesome route? This could be another chapter of the story or some sequal. Also how will Kiran react when Sutr tries to harm his Veronica? I so excited.
So what will happen to Kiran, if he met two Veronica's, one that is the original and the other the Brave Heroine version? Is he going to choose being loyal to his feelings only to the original Veronica? Or a Threesome route? This could be another chapter of the story or some sequal. Also how will Kiran react when Sutr tries to harm his Veronica? I so excited.
9/29/2018 c3 OccasionallyCompetent
And the adorableness continues! I swear at this point your TRYING to induce diabetes...
And the adorableness continues! I swear at this point your TRYING to induce diabetes...
8/30/2018 c3 1I'm a Nobody. Who Are You
This is so adorable. I never expected to find a story like this but it's very appreciated.
The high-five from the Archest of Archers in Chapter One is excellent.
Thank you for writing. I look forward to seeing how red Veronica can get.
1I'm a Nobody. Who Are YouThis is so adorable. I never expected to find a story like this but it's very appreciated.
The high-five from the Archest of Archers in Chapter One is excellent.
Thank you for writing. I look forward to seeing how red Veronica can get.