Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Karry Loving

9/10/2018 c1 1Sadie1441
Hope you update soon
7/11/2018 c1 Guest
It seems interesting in concept but there are a lot of spelling marks are also needed for the audience to see the dialogue between yeah just some advice most oc’s are disliked due to most being the perfect being. While others are hated for having an over dramatic backstory and otherwise some are hated due to how silly the past of the oc is. Just some advice :)
6/21/2018 c1 7Dewy908
I enjoyed the first chapter. Only suggestion is that you add quotation marks to make it more clear.
6/15/2018 c1 61CharmedMilliE- Karry Master
Your story not really readable. You have no quoatations marks around what people are saying, it makes everything a mess and hard to see what’s talking and what’s not. Sorry if you think this is harsh but you ask me for an opinion. Also whenever someone new speaks you should start a new paragraph .

Like your first paragraph for example should go like this.

Barry was looking at pictures of his mom and his dad when he heard his foster father Joe call for him. “Barry, it’s almost time to go.”

“One minute,” Barry yelled back taking one last look at the picture. Swearing to himself he would get revenge for his mother and prove his father innocent

My best suggestion for you would be to find a beta, someone to read over the work before you post. Especially as this is your first FanFiction.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service