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12/26/2019 c1 Guest
So you are a RC writer. Eric was never that horrible. You have no compassion for him according to these stories of yours I have read. Eric had much more heart. He was bad in many ways but even Leroux cared for him. This is an ok story though as it can go many ways. I'm ok with R/C story but not how bad Erik was.
11/29/2018 c1 68rusticsky
I much prefer this to the LND original ending! Well written!
7/17/2018 c1 15Gustave Daae Y
I really enjoyed reading this. I loved how you wrote Gustave. I have a nasty habit of making the kid so pathetic and an unactionary character and other authors fall into that trap as well. But in this story, Gustave has personality so I'm impressed.
7/10/2018 c1 MyNina
Tanks a lot for sending the message... due to lack of time I am a rare visitor at the moment.
First of all you absolutely pointed out the clue: why the hell should Christine love a man who blackmails her and threatens her child? That ' s one of the most confusing scenarios in the musical, even if Gustave was bis own flesh and blood! I like your vision of a more realistic storyline and especially Christine who turns out to be a wise and thoughtful woman.
Erik ' s plan is a good one, but in the end he is unable to feel any empathy to others, selfish and unable to care for a wife and a child.
As always you stay true to the characters, although there is no happy end for the Phantom either... but at least for the de Chagnys ;-)
7/9/2018 c1 45Igenlode Wordsmith
This story might have been easier to read (and certainly to review) if it had been published in multiple chapters - I got about halfway through and started to think it was feeling a bit long, then scrolled back to the top and saw that it was fourteen thousand words! I'm not sure where one would split it, though...

"he had killed Piangi - even if Christine learned about that only later": ah, of course Christine has already been kidnapped when Piangi's death is discovered

"The Phantom had asked her to sing Aminta in his Don Juan, he hadn't asked more than just that she sang, to make her career progress" - an interesting comparison; he *claimed* that he just wanted her to sing, but in fact he clearly staged the whole thing (with its love duet for a conveniently concealed leading man) just so that he could get close to her when he knew that she wouldn't have permitted it otherwise.
(And what was his plan for "Don Juan" if she had actually accepted his 'proposal' after undergoing his on-stage advances? He had already killed Piangi, and he had basically unmasked himself to everyone in the opera company by deviating in public from the rehearsed score and blocking (Raoul's love-song can't possibly have been part of the scene between Don Juan and Aminta). So presumably he was planning to snatch her from the stage all along, with or without her consent.)

Yes, the Phantom's lair is no longer below ground; it is the whole of Phantasma, and she is already in it. And she has seen him issue threats before in Paris, and seen what happened when people ignored them...

"So much money for one song! Well, who am I to complain about that?": Raoul is certainly not going to argue about being offered more money without asking for it :-p

The clause about the costume and jewellery is intriguing; presumably this is the Phantom's way of making Christine a gift without being seen openly to do so?

"There Raoul insisted upon an additional agreement" - no doubt Raoul feels that he is being very far-sighted and commercially astute in amending the contract :-(
(And it makes more sense than randomly announcing to Mme Giry on the spur of the moment that he plans to triple his wife's fee...)

"The lawyer left the room, obviously to talk to Mr. Y" - although apparently Raoul never actually gets to *meet* this Mr. Y at any point, which presumably strikes him as a little odd!

"When Raoul learned who Mr. Y really was, he was furious": it feels as if there is a little bit of the story missing here. Hang on, how did he find out? When and where?
(With hindsight I think this is probably an allusion to an unseen "Dear Old Friend" encounter, but it hadn't even occurred to me that the story would follow canon on that point despite being AU...)

"He won't crash a chandelier in his own theater!": a good point - the Phantom does have rather more to lose now that he is operating 'in the open' with a reputation of his own to protect.

"Surely he could just buy a box in Hammerstein's opera if all he wanted was to hear her sing": another good point. Clearly it's *not* enough for the Phantom just to hear Christine (whatever he claims); she is coming to America anyway and he could easily listen to her performing without having to reveal his existence to her at all. It seems that what he wants is to control her performance (and, of course, to dictate the words in her mouth, as he did for the role of Aminta).

"Living from one day to another was all he was capable of for now - he had survived ten years like this and wouldn't change that": yes (as we saw in "Don Juan"), the Phantom clearly doesn't plan ahead for the long-term consequences of his actions. Provided he gets what he wants in the (very) short term, he doesn't think about what is likely to happen as a result...

"The boy sat bored in the hotel lobby, knowing his parents were quarreling again and wanted him out of the way. They usually tried to keep their fights secret from him, but he knew. They were fighting more often in the last months, even if Gustave had no idea they were doing that": I found this a bit confusing - if Gustave usually knew when his parents were quarrelling despite their attempts to hide it, how could he have had no idea that they had been fighting over the last few months?

I like the idea of Erik inventing a lift that plays a different tune to indicate each floor :-)

Ah, so that was the point of the clause in the contract allowing Christine and her family to use the amusement park for free - to make it easier for Gustave to 'disappear' without his parents...

I'm amused by the idea of Erik planning to exhaust the child and ending up being the one exhausted himself!
And intrigued by the suggestion that there have actually been other women interested in the wealthy Mr. Y, but that any woman approaching *him* scares him off - he is only interested in the unattainable.

"Erik didn't want Christine to know that Gustave was asleep in his flat - and certainly not where this flat was": and yet a sentence or so later Christine and Raoul are led to "Mr. Y's private flat"?
I don't really see what Erik was intending to achieve here; what does he gain by carefully kidnapping Gustave away from his parents and drugging him, then simply giving him back to them without any demands? Why was he so worried that Gustave might demand to go back to his parents, if that is exactly what Erik plans to do anyway?

"When Christine was done, she found Raoul sitting on the couch, a glass of whiskey in his hand": so Raoul is not miraculously reformed - that's more realistic...
Of course when he signed that contract he had no idea what he was committing his wife to. And in fact he still doesn't, as they have no idea what the Phantom is up to - they are just deeply suspicious that there must be some sinister plan behind this demand for a song from Christine. Meanwhile she has to sing or they will be liable for an impossibly large sum of money :-(

Last time Raoul failed to protect Christine even with armed guards stationed all over the whole theatre; he is extremely optimistic to hope that he can protect both Gustave and Christine single-handed!
(I like the suggestion that he simply gets distracted by the antics of the dancing girls ;-p)

Yes, Gustave must have seen far too many rehearsals - naturally he is eager to escape from this one.

I'm sure no-one has ever asked what the *point* of Erik's automatons is before :-D

Gustave realises that he needs 'real' magic and not science to achieve the impossible and change his parents at the waving of a wand :-(

"well, he could always *claim* that the boy was back in Europe": ouch!

"I've seen the white horses in Vienna, they are doing much the same... only much more elegant than the ponies": this reminds me of your Christmas show at the riding school :-D

"Sometimes... sometimes parents do not love their children. Then it is better for the child to leave them": an allusion to Leroux, by the sounds of it...

"we both know who is master in making someone disappear": too true!

"Where were you? We told you to stay with your father!" she berated her son: yes, I was quite surprised that after the panic of the previous day they hadn't warned Gustave against wandering off, especially with Erik!

"every quarrel was a failure at the husband's side. He did not know much about women" :-P

"She opened the door and sank into the arms of her husband" - oops, it sounds as if Erik's music produced the same effect in Raoul as it did in Christine, which was certainly not his intention! :-D

"'O no, not again!' Christine was now yelling at Raoul": to lose him three times really is a little careless...

"The boy did not understand what he had done wrong now. Usually his father liked when he left him in peace": although probably not when he had been specifically told to stay put and not wander off :-p

It is very clever of Erik to use Gustave's natural desire for his parents to be happy to get him to cooperate in an attempt to split up his parents.
...and so it is *Raoul* who brings the gun, and Erik who makes use of it for his own purposes!

"The Vicomte wasn't sure what this had been about, but he surely did not want to ask any questions now": I feel that when his wife has just announced that another man is the father of their son, there are more than a few questions that might come to mind at this point!

Does Erik not more than ever want to stop his son from leaving?

"Never would Erik believe that he was the father when he had not slept with Christine at least once": yes, that being one of the obvious questions...

"I thought he had been forced to run so the police wouldn't catch him, that he had run to make sure we were never found together...": that would actually have been a more credible motive than the one we are given, or rather *not* given, in the show!

"Gustave was born five months after the wedding and he was fully developed" - things clearly went quite a bit further during those "months of Elysian peace" than Erik had any idea :-(
I suppose "I was already carrying your child" is a more incontrovertible proof than the alternative, "I clearly did not conceive on that night because Gustave was born too long afterwards" - and it explains the whole "TEN YEARS OLD" confusion (we already know that the Phantom clearly can't count :-p)
Still it's a bit unexpected. Raoul would have presumably been even more insistent on announcing their engagement at the masquerade if he had known... (and also he apparently can't count either, if he has only just realised that Christine was pregnant at the time of their wedding :-p)

"But as long as she could keep up the illusion she would stubbornly do so. In that Giry and Erik were much alike": I like this as an ending. Really the Giry we see in LND is just as deluded as Erik, in her own way...
7/5/2018 c1 10angelofnight
Very interesting.

It kind of threw me to think of Christine being with Raoul before her wedding night. I mean ... even back then things happened. Passions overwhelmed. But for a Victorian gentleman with a girl he expected to have as a virgin bride? Yeah, it threw me off.

Not entirely sure I specifically like that part. But overall I really liked the story. And I managed to not skim most of the paragraphs. Now I need a Tylenol for the headache. LOL. My stupid eyes.

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