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9/15/2020 c5 Little Liar
This needs work.
9/15/2020 c2 Enabler
Pumpkin Pete?
9/15/2020 c1 Enabler
Is Ozpin working with Salem?
4/25/2019 c1 BowmanW
I really hated how they reacted to Ozpin's past in the actual show, I hate how they react to this as well. They are all idiots. It isn't a problem derived from this fanfiction, but the show in general, if anything, them being angry in this chapter is incredibly true to the characters of the show. Which makes me dislike RWBY's writing direction even more.

A great chapter.
1/9/2019 c3 freddy.lane.1
damn, im my inner tenno is screaming at me too sing along.
1/9/2019 c1 freddy.lane.1
wow, When i read the title i got curious, but when i read the word UMBRA, i was hooked. Damn, that was good.
11/21/2018 c4 armentho


-hero/savior complex: he have the fixation of being special or try to be a hero,this leads to him making mistakes or hurting others in his attemps of being "heroic"

-useless compared to others: he may not be useless (he have lot of aura and is a great strstegist) but he have a huge gap to fill and because problems he caused arent worthy the effort of helping him,he knows that and have victim complex (it should be phyraa who should be here and not me) and the sad thing is that he is rigtg to some degree

-socially akward:jaune grow in a "idealistic" enviroment so his education was aimed more to ideals to hild rather than learning practical tips/tricks of everyday,mix that with the fact he was heavily protected by his family (only masculine heir) and lack of masculine interaction (seven sisters) lead to him being heavily disabled when it comes to expresing himself and interacting with mens and flirting with girls

-idealistic: he acts following the "how it should be" rather that "how things are" meaning he is a highly moral and entusiastic person,but lacks the emotional indiference or determination that allow people to make horrible atrocities in name of a greater good (every leader is made from a couple corpses of his followers)

you can subvert this (showing a universe when one or more of this troopes happen on unexpected or totally contrary ways)

explore it more deeply (a storie that focus on a specific troope)

or deconstruc it (show a storie when he analize,reconsider and change his troopes by learning from experience)
11/20/2018 c5 Guest
1. Your story is Rated-M right? How about the South Park movie, the scene where they are in school right after they've seen the Terrance and Phillip movie, and they swear in Mr Garrison's class. Ren as Kyle, Jaune as Kenny, Cardin as Cartman, Doctor Oobleck or Port as Mr Garrison, don't know who would be the other kids, while Ozpin as Mr Mackey says to the boys "boys, I seriously doubt Port/Oobleck would say something like, eat penguin shit you ass-spelunker".
2. I don't know if you would get in trouble for a reaction to a fanfic so if this makes you uncomfortable you don't have to do this, but How about Exxxtra Credit by Constable Paperbag? I found this story to be really funny, it's about Jaune trying to seduce Glynda Goodwitch so he can get passing grades but fails in the most hilarious ways.
3. Spooner from I-Robot, maybe Weiss as the one scientist I can't remember the name of.
4. Brock Lesnar (I know, bizarre, but it popped into my head) Jauck Lesnar? Brock Arc? Maybe a fight against Samoa Joe (or maybe have him as other wrestlers, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, or Randy Orton), you know, if you watch wrestling.
5. Ragdoll, the one from The Batman, not that horrible portrayal of him in The Flash, they completely ruined his character, stupid costume, and he wasn't supposed to be a Meta-Human, just triple jointed, I was really looking forward to that episode to.
10/31/2018 c4 7Scholar of the Dream
Jaune has the stereotype of being useless compared to his team, but they've had years of training at specificlly made schools or personal instructors of the highest caliburs. Jaune is practically at their level now with only at most a year of training. He managed to hold of a nuckleeve, one of the strongest grimm shown so far by himself for a few seconds. make of it as you wish.
10/7/2018 c4 Guest
Jaune as Hancock, and Cardin is the little kid he throws into the atmosphere, if you know what this is.
10/4/2018 c3 guest
I never played Halo either, but that doesn't mean I don't know what it is.
9/23/2018 c4 Guest
Why don’t you do a chapter we’re jaune is ww2 in the d-day (save private rayan) or in the liberation of a concentration camp(band of brothers)?
9/22/2018 c3 61Perseus12
Wowsers! Can you do "Assassin's Creed cinematic trailer" where Jaune or Ruby or Raven as Ratonhnhaké:ton/Connor the assassin fighting through the British Army line where Arthur Watts as British General leading while from the American Continental Army line where Ozpin or James Ironwood as George Washington observing the assassin.
9/21/2018 c4 Guest
1. My Gym Partner's A Monkey, Beacon is a school for animals, Jaune is mistakenly sent there, and Sun becomes his best friend.
2. Max Steel, Ironwood as Forge Ferrus, and Tyrian as that one psychotic character (can't remember his name).
3. Aaron Yaeger from Attack On Titan (actual Titans, or Titan Grimm, either way would be cool).
4. Dr Doolittle, and it's Ozpin's butt he sniffs as a child.
5. Lucifer from Supernatural. Jaunifer? Arcifer? That one scene where they need Lucifer's grace to open a portal to the Apocalypse World.
9/12/2018 c4 Guest
Do a pacific rim one
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