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10/29/2018 c16 Midnight Sanity
This story was amazing! i'm sad that it's finished now ;-; you did good though 3
10/23/2018 c16 8Katteilpawz
Congratulations...you've achieved feels. *Sobs*
I really like how there are two endings, one average(bad) and the other the special end(good). Kinda like how a game has two endings, where the good one has to be reached through some kind of secret. Also, is it considered a norm or exception that a creepypasta of previously-family-friendly game has feels? Very enjoyable story!
10/23/2018 c16 9JH24
Wow. What a chapter. Seriously, that was amazing. The previous chapters were already great, but you've really outdone yourself with this one. The entire scene with Pit... Would you believe I had actually tears in my eyes? Dark Pit's end, Pit's realization he had lost his brother and then finally realizing the hold the Cursed Palm had over him. Man, that really made an impact on me.

Pit racing towards the Rewind Spring, the weapon consuming more and more of Pit's body, the angel thinking about Palutena, Dark Pit, and everyone who has suffered because of this horrible weapon, and Pit sacrificing himself without hesitation - knowing it will be his end - by throwing himself in the Rewind Spring. I'm getting emotional just typing this. I could see everything so clearly. I could see his expression and I could every word he said. This was so amazingly written.

Seeing the two friends having a happy ending made me smile. After all that happened they deserve it.

The part with the store clerk was the perfect ending to a very memorable story. With the memories of his former customers returning it means that everything is once again as it should be. I loved how this person finally found peace as well. And I loved how he saw Pit and Dark Pit in his dream. I was so happy to read they've finally found peace.

Thank you for this amazing story. It really has been a great journey. I'm glad you were able to put your idea into words. When you finish a story you've worked so hard on, there's no better feeling.
10/23/2018 c15 JH24
So this is how it all started... One choice... Yet so many consequences...

This person is in a way just as trapped and condemned as the poor souls imprisoned inside the game. The curse has taken over and even though this character doesn't own the game anymore he will be forever connected to it. Forced to watch the consequences of his actions over and over again. He has become part of the curse on the outside just as much as its victims have become a part inside of it.

Yet this person is stuck as well. He can't keep the game locked away as Pit will surely haunt him even more than he's haunted now, and the game could do so much more worse things to him and his loved ones. He can't destroy the game either because Pit would surely intervene with something horrible. And now this person has become an instrument of the curse; the game has a life of its own now and is using this human to find new victims and to repeat the cycle.

I can only imagine how much regret this character must be feeling. Always the faint hope someone might be able to break the curse and beat the game, only to realize once more they've lost.

As for Pit; I feel so sorry for him in this chapter. This person has brought Pit to life. I want to think that the first time he/she met Pit the young angel was still his innocent, uncorrupted self. Only for the human to turn Pit away and abandon him. That's so sad and from this point on the curse slowly consumed Pit's soul as time went by. I wonder if this experience was also what made obsessed about being used by others.

Oh… Well that's... okay... " Pit said as he walked away. Poor Pit. Rejected and at the mercy of the Cursed Palm. My guess is this weapon amplified Pit's negative emotions and feelings of rejection and slowly drove him to insanity. I wonder what would have happened if the character had tried to go after Pit in his dream. Could the Cursed Palm have been stopped if there had been only one human who had tried to reach out and befriend him?

At this point I don't know if Pit is even in control or if he has just become a vessel for this cursed game.

If only someone would be able to defeat or destroy this game. I honestly feel at this point all the surviving characters, and even a part of would welcome their end or deletion. They were given the unique gift of life, but is this existence truly what you can call living?

This was an amazing and thought-provoking conclusion. One that left an impact on me and made me think a lot. Thank you again for this unique and powerful story. It has been an amazing experience. (I can't wait to see your alternate ending)
10/22/2018 c14 JH24
Wow, what a chapter. (This comment may be darker than my previous ones) After reading I could only sit on my chair and stare at my screen. The ending... It's a long time ago I felt so empty, so alone, so uneasy. That feeling... It's a feeling I sometimes have in my nightmares. Of being trapped in darkness, floating around in emptiness, all alone, with the feeling someone or something will jump at me any moment.

But at least you can still wake up from a nightmare. The characters in your story will never wake up again. You described this feeling of hopelessness and torment perfectly. That feeling of being forgotten by the world, stuck in a form of an invisible spirit, and imprisoned in a personal hell for all eternity. It's a long time ago I read a story that left me with such a feeling, and you've done such an awesome job conveying that feeling. My heart broke when the character saw the body of his friend.

What's also chilling is that Pit doesn't give the humans any other thought. He has won and now his victims are simply discarded. Pit simply moves on. The cursed game will find its way to other unfortunate souls and the tragic cycle will repeat itself.

The scene between Pit and Dark Pit was incredibly well done. I loved how you showed the conflict within Pit. There's still a small part of the old Pit somewhere. I could really tell he still cares for Dark Pit, and his brother might be the only life line left preventing Pit from being completely consumed by the Cursed Palm.

"... Just leave me alone, Pittoo... " I could feel the pain in his words. But also the resignation, the loss of hope. Pit has given up. He lost himself and no longer has the will to change. Heartbreaking.

The ending with Magnus, Dark Pit and Pandora was so sad. They've all been through this scenario so many times. Wrecked by guilt and regret about all the lives lost.

This was such a powerful story. You've done a wonderful job at building up the suspense and mystery in this story and the finale really left an impact. Thank you for sharing your work with us and I look forward to the alternate ending.
10/19/2018 c13 JH24
This chapter was amazing! You did a wonderful job building up the tension and the fight was incredibly well done. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.

But what especially left an impact on me was the portrayal of Pit. Wow... just wow. He gave me chills throughout this chapter. How you displayed his insanity; to show how far the corrupted angel has really gone. His terrifying laughs, his chilling expressions. I could see everything so clearly, it felt like I was part of the fight itself. And what happened to the character's friend? I'm really worried about his fate.

And then the ending... For a moment I had hope, and then hope turned into fear as the fight went more and more in Pit's favor. That disheartening feeling you're stuck in a nightmare, and that whatever you try, you're just not able to escape from its conclusion. I really felt the despair at the end of the chapter... Pit's victory... His insanity... You don't want to lose against him, and I can only fear what's going to happen next.

This is my favorite chapter of your story so far. Awesome work! I look forward to find out how this is going to end.
10/17/2018 c12 JH24
"The Calm before the Storm." That's a very fitting title.

This chapter is one of my favorites so far. I loved the interaction between the two friends and Magnus and Dark Pit. You write them both so well. I could really feel the tension and that sinking feeling when I realized how much was truly at stake. Losing this fight is out of the question.

Dark Pit's outburst was my favorite part. I could feel his emotions and his desperation; he and Magnus know what is about to happen, I could feel Dark Pit's regret and how this time they want things to be different. Dark Pit now embodies who Pit used to be.

This chapter also gives an unsettling hint about the extent of Pit's abilities. "Do you want to be trapped forever like us!" "Look at them... They're just like all the others." I love how you're building up the suspense even more.

I can't wait to see what will happen in the final battle, and what the corrupted angel is planning for the two friends.
10/17/2018 c11 JH24
Great chapter. I'm really glad the two friends have talked everything out. The scene with the 3DS and the screen of blood actually made me feel uncomfortable. Seeing Pit standing in the middle send a chill through me. Him standing with his back turned felt almost symbolic. I have a feeling he knows what the two friends are up to. But instead of becoming angry he remains eerily silent. It makes it all even more creepy.

The part about the Pure Claws was interesting. I wonder if this will come back later on.
10/15/2018 c10 JH24
I really enjoyed the new chapters. Things are slowly beginning to fall into place.

You've got Magnus' character down perfectly, I could hear every word he said while I was reading. I love the idea of a boss battle against this Pit. It makes a lot of sense too; the only way to make this stop is to confront the corrupted angel directly. I wonder how Pit will react to that. Something tells me it isn't going to be pretty.

I'm so glad the two friends are talking with each other again. It's a first step, but it seems they're finally on the same page about the danger Pit poses. One part of me wants to see Pit getting payback for everything he has done, especially to the character's grandma. The other part of me can't help but feel somewhat sympathetic. Is there still a piece of the old Pit left inside of him?

I have no idea what you are planning for the finale, but I'm really looking forward to it. I can't shake this uneasy feeling that time is running out for the two friends. They need to take him down, but will they be strong enough?

Great work! Thank you so much for sharing your work with us.
10/13/2018 c8 JH24
I felt my heart sink when I read about the character's grandma and Pit's ability to manipulate technology. I was relieved when I read she survived.

If Pit was really behind this than that was a low blow from him. It made me wish for the first time while reading that I would love to see him getting some kind of payback for that one day.

If he can't hurt the character directly he'll find ways to cause pain through others. It's a scary thought that Pit can almost manipulate anything in the real world. I wonder what Pit is really planning for him. And what has happened to his friend?

I can't wait to find out what will happen next. I really like how you're building up the suspense and mystery behind Pit; at this point he seems to have a connection with both friends and that can't be good.
10/5/2018 c6 JH24
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Normally when someone says this it's meant to be reassuring, but with this version of Pit... Oh boy. What's he up to? It's a great ending to this chapter, and it leaves you with a foreboding and ominous feeling.

I really enjoyed the scene between the character and Pit. I love the way you and your friend write this version of Pit. He feels so mysterious. You write him in such a way that you can't tell what he's thinking, or what is going on behind his features and unsettling appearance. It adds an intriguing layer of tension to the story. I like the notion that his home felt different; cold and unwelcoming. You're doing a great job building up the tension and that creeping feeling something is very wrong here.

The scene with Pit near the end was perfectly done with the fallen angel reaching out to the character. Either manifesting himself in the real world or manipulating the character's senses. Pit's reaction was very interesting, and as I said before, not knowing what exactly he's going to do - or what his long-term goal is (What is Pit truly capable of?) - really builds up the suspense.

I can't wait to find out what you are planning for us in the coming chapters!
10/1/2018 c5 JH24
I was really glad to see an update. Nice chapter. While reading an uneasy feeling crept up on me. Something doesn't feel right here. Him getting lost, almost getting hit by a car, that strange experience on the bus. Something is going on here. Even now he's no longer in possession of the game it seems he's still connected to it somehow. And it's like Dark Pit is trying to warn him about something.

I look forward to find out what will happen next. What is Pit's game here? What is he up to? Is he going after the first owner who broke his word? Or will he set his eyes on his new friend?

Great work! Thank you for sharing your story with us all.
8/18/2018 c4 JH24
Nice! I'm very happy to see you're working on a sequel. It's such a fascinating concept and I really enjoy how you're building up the story.

I like the dynamic between the two friends. (If you wish, consider giving them a name) I like how they both have different personalities that sets them apart, and I like how they both approach the same situation differently. The main character of the previous series, who has experienced the danger and insanity of Pit first hand, knows it would be best to close the game and forget about it.

His friend feels some kind of pity for Pit, doesn't understand why his friend broke his promise and feels it's wrong to abandon Pit like that. It's a very interesting conflict and you did a great job building up the tension between them. Their outburst was perfectly done and revealed deeper tensions within their friendship. Pit hasn't even done anything yet, yet he's already driving a wedge between the two friends.

Although Pit only appeared in one chapter so far, I once again loved the tension and the way you portrayed him. It always sends a chill down my back. There's something unsettling about him, and even now he acts calm and more reasonably, I would say even friendly, it only increases the feeling of unease. I think it's because it feels so real, so close to daily life, and because you can't tell what Pit is really thinking. What is really going on behind those black eyes of his?

I look forward to find out what Pit is going to do next. I noticed he wasn't as enthusiastic to be friends with this new guy (Understandable after the broken promise of the previous owner) but it's interesting he was still willing to let him talk to his previous "friend." It's kind of ironic, Pit wanted to be friends with the previous owner, but seems a bit hesitant with this new guy who wouldn't mind befriending him.

The scary part is (and perfectly written) that Pit's reaction didn't reveal anything about how he felt about yet another "betrayal" or broken promise. Is he genuinely sad? Is he angry? You don't know how Pit really feels and it adds a layer of tension.

Awesome work! I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next. Thank you so much for sharing this amazing story with us!

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