for Hive Daughter12/6 c69 OmegaUltima
That hopefully isn't the end...and if I'm interpreting right, the new Endbringers showed up on a DEAD planet? Well, hmm...
I'm not knowledgeable about the workings of Worm, so if they have a connection to the Entity, I don't know, but if they do, Hive's job isn't done yet
Plus there's still several things left unfinished
Well, hope you will be continuing this sometime soon, or start another story, or something, because I rather enjoyed what I've read
That hopefully isn't the end...and if I'm interpreting right, the new Endbringers showed up on a DEAD planet? Well, hmm...
I'm not knowledgeable about the workings of Worm, so if they have a connection to the Entity, I don't know, but if they do, Hive's job isn't done yet
Plus there's still several things left unfinished
Well, hope you will be continuing this sometime soon, or start another story, or something, because I rather enjoyed what I've read
12/1 c69 RockySES
This is a fantastic fic! I’m so glad I stuck with it, as soon as Tay got sent to the birdcage everything just started to fall into place and the story took off!
This is a fantastic fic! I’m so glad I stuck with it, as soon as Tay got sent to the birdcage everything just started to fall into place and the story took off!
11/27 c1 Loki43
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing this story with us. I really enjoyed the read. _
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing this story with us. I really enjoyed the read. _
11/24 c69 
4DschingisKhan
Wasn't sure what to expect - 40k has a predicable tendency to turn things into a shitshow - but this was interesting and very nearly became the passionate Taylor/Dragon I've always quietly wanted. I always like when stories explore the humanity of the inhuman.
4DschingisKhanWasn't sure what to expect - 40k has a predicable tendency to turn things into a shitshow - but this was interesting and very nearly became the passionate Taylor/Dragon I've always quietly wanted. I always like when stories explore the humanity of the inhuman.
11/21 c69 121698
While I would've liked to have known more about Taylor and Amy's adventures, you gave more than enough to make a conclusion that could be inferred.
While I would've liked to have known more about Taylor and Amy's adventures, you gave more than enough to make a conclusion that could be inferred.
11/16 c53 GrapeFanta
It's always strange reading a story as the author improves his writing. In one day (from my perspective at least) is a stark difference in style and my personal pet peeve dialogue quality.
Good job.
It's always strange reading a story as the author improves his writing. In one day (from my perspective at least) is a stark difference in style and my personal pet peeve dialogue quality.
Good job.
11/16 c46 GrapeFanta
He beginning of the conversation with Ava was eh but after that it got better, it felt natural even.
He beginning of the conversation with Ava was eh but after that it got better, it felt natural even.
11/16 c41 GrapeFanta
When ever Myriad speaks about authority the flow takes a nose dive. Your just hit with a walk of dialogue, and it doesn't work. The problem dropping a speech like that (unless your actually giving a speech) is that it doesn't work. People interrupt, and normally would never let some one do that. Especially angry unhinged mob leaders.
Second if you want to give a speech like that a anyway, you should break it up with actions. Like describe what she's doing like is she pacing, hand motions, the mind reactions, the works. what ever you can think of.
Looks and reads a lot better that way.
When ever Myriad speaks about authority the flow takes a nose dive. Your just hit with a walk of dialogue, and it doesn't work. The problem dropping a speech like that (unless your actually giving a speech) is that it doesn't work. People interrupt, and normally would never let some one do that. Especially angry unhinged mob leaders.
Second if you want to give a speech like that a anyway, you should break it up with actions. Like describe what she's doing like is she pacing, hand motions, the mind reactions, the works. what ever you can think of.
Looks and reads a lot better that way.
11/16 c26 GrapeFanta
The dialogue still needs work, it feels like they are trying to get their point across as fast as humanly possible. It feels unnatural.
The dialogue still needs work, it feels like they are trying to get their point across as fast as humanly possible. It feels unnatural.
11/15 c16 GrapeFanta
Nice chapter, but I don't think shadow stalker is quite that stupid to attack right in front of her team and armsmaster
Nice chapter, but I don't think shadow stalker is quite that stupid to attack right in front of her team and armsmaster