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for A Swim of Silence

5/5 c1 Guest
Judy - Judith Barsi

Nitha - Maria Barsi

Rolf - Jozsef Barsi
3/28/2019 c1 6AllegroGiocoso
Very neat question posed as to why we haven’t seen Ducky really explore underwater. The imagery of silence is very well conveyed, providing a great atmosphere for Ducky to introspect. Really like this portrayal of Ducky as a bit of an outcast, it really sheds light on how well she is able to connect with Petrie’s problems. The intro is great at making me ask a lot of questions to myself, the answers to which I’ll surely find below.

Really nice getting a flashback of Ducky’s past life, something not explored in the movies! I can really see Judy’s parallels to Judith Barsi, making this all the more emotional to read. Really sad to see she seems always in fear and has very low confidence, showing what looks like her father’s psychological damage. Love seeing Ducky’s attempts to befriend Judy, and seeing Ducky forming her first friendship … This actually makes sense canon-wise as well, since she seemed to be more experienced at making friends than any of the rest of the Go5 in Movie 1 IMO; the scene also reminds me a bit of when Ducky first met Littlefoot!

Nice exploration of Ducky’s unique perspective of being able to swim, especially in that she and Petrie are the only ones able to have these kinds of experiences.

Wow, truly alarming to see such an abusive father here. Especially with his threats preventing either Judy or her mother from leaving. He makes Topps from Movie 1 look like a saint! Happy to see Papa Swimmer and Mama Swimmer willing to help out – Interesting character change here, where Mama is the more cautious one unlike what we’ve seen throughout Secret Love. Amazing to see just how possessive Rolf is of Judy, especially since he doesn’t even seem to love her at all. Glad to see Nitha standing up for Judy, but Rolf sure does have a very hard grip. Incredible that Ducky has to go through this at such a young age.

Love how you’re using the scenery in harmony with describing the emotions, and love watching Ducky’s discovery. I’m feeling as though I’m having a nice refreshing bath as I’m reading this! Very nice to have these comforting water exploration scenes surrounding the horrific tragedies in Ducky’s memories.

Wow … Can’t imagine how awful this must be for Ducky. Things, while seeming tense and horribly wrong, did not seem that imminent! Very good at capturing Ducky’s grief, interesting to see the similarities and differences to Littlefoot’s. Seeing Judy’s body being taken away and Ducky’s response makes the already traumatic scene even more so. I can really see Mama Swimmer’s protectiveness toward Ducky after this incident. Very emotional physical responses too … Truly alarming to see just how insane Rolf was. The combination of Ducky’s innocence being confronted with suicide, and raw, unbridled anger, which she so rarely has, really showcases a significant development on the part of Ducky’s character. So glad Mama Swimmer is there to encourage Ducky and support her through this difficult time.
And to think this happened just before the first LBT. Amazing to think that in a just few days she went from this to arguably bringing and keeping the whole gang together. Nice description of the aftereffects, and love to see Mama Swimmer’s comments that Judy contributed to Ducky’s character development, and beautiful to see how happy the memory of Judy makes her.

Very nice, sweet read that gives nice insight into Ducky’s character development and history. I’m definitely going to be looking at LBT1 and possibly LBT8 differently next time I watch those! A thoughtful insight, very emotionally and beautifully written.
10/19/2018 c1 5Captain Bones
I do have the first Land Before Time movie. Every time a watched it, I will hear the sweet voice of Judith. Her voice in my opinion was perfect for Ducky. The story was just like the Tragic story of Judith Barsi and her mother. I just wanna say that Judith was a great voice actor. It's hard to believe that somebody would their own child. Even at age 10. Anybody that killed young children, are as heartless as Adolf Hittler, Saddum Hussen, Osama Bin Laben and Glen Rogers.
10/7/2018 c1 45CalvinHobbesGatsby
This was amazing and heartbreaking all at the same time, well done.
8/4/2018 c1 40OwlsCantRead
Alright, this one tugged at my heartstrings. Yeah, this was a good one.
7/30/2018 c1 20The Rhombus
The story of Judith Barsi is one of those that one cannot look back upon without feeling tremendous loss and a deep anger that one man's narcissistic fixation on himself and his own ego could have driven him to commit such an evil, vile act. The combination of a kind, heartwarming child with amazing potential and the sad end that she met is one that cannot sit easy with anyone capable of genuine human feeling. Your ability in this story to place Judith into the continuity and to show us both her suffering against the abuse, and Ducky's understandable concern for her friend, really drives home the absolute horror of the entire situation.

From the very start of the story there is a general sense of unease that only grows as the details build upon themselves. One gets the sense that not all is right and that Ducky, the usually extroverted and happy swimmer, is faced with a deep melancholy due to something that we cannot see. And when we are presented with what we did not see, we wish that we could go back to not seeing it - which is one of the biggest problem with abuse. Too often those who could say or do something, do not do anything. The blind rage of Rolf that is on display in the initial flashback is one that made my blood go cold. It is the realization that the person on display has lost all sense of reason and has so little room in his heart for love and compassion that the only outlet is to express selfishness and rage at those who love him. The realization that this is not just a story, but a LBT retelling of a tragedy and crime that actually did happen, only adds to the general feeling of despair and wishing to yell at the screen for someone to get help. A help that never came... neither in this story or in real life.

You have truly accomplished an amazing feat in presenting the raw emotion of this terrible tragedy in a manner that allows Ducky to show her feelings about the loss. Ultimately Ducky's final act in the story of having a swim in Judith's name and then living her life is the best thing to do in cases like these. We must live our lives for those who no longer have that luxury. And, to the best of our ability, use their loss as a warning about the consequences of inaction. You truly have outdid yourself in this entry and though it was a hard read emotionally, it was a difficult for all of the right reasons.
7/30/2018 c1 29Vortex Lord
It's sad to see the loss of a friend.
7/27/2018 c1 shoewax45
That was a very good story it was sad what happened to Judith all those years ago.
7/26/2018 c1 26Keijo6
Damn… I’m not sure if I have the words to describe this fic. I’ll just begin by saying that this is most definitely one of the top five short stories submitted to this challenge easily. Even if the introduction might have been a bit too dramatic, the premise of retelling Judith’s story inside the LBT world with her as Ducky’s friend… that was simply brilliant. From the humble and empty feeling of Ducky’s swim to the raw emotions of Rolf’s outburst and his deed’s aftermath, this fic was a terrific if saddening read.

From the very beginning, the atmosphere in this story was excellent. A certain feeling of wrongness was present from the very beginning and the way Ducky’s thoughts drifted into the dark days long gone was extremely emotional as were her memories about her lost friend. The following scenes did their job more than well but Rolf’s appearance was something that worried and infuriated me like few other scenes ever have. The way you portrayed the insanity and futility of it all and the fact that it was really allowed to happen saddened me greatly even if I’ve known that family’s fate for a long time. You captured the raw emotions of that scene perfectly and Rolf and the others’ departure was truly haunting. How many tragedies could be avoided if the people had the courage to act in situations like these…

As for the final part of the flashback, it was done just as well as the previous ones. Even if the outcome was more than clear from the beginning, the scene and Ducky’s realization of the murders’ cause was another thing that made me shook my head in sympathy for the characters. This was never supposed to happen and the way you recreated this whole nightmare astonished me greatly. The only problem I noticed was that Ducky’s actual swim and diving seemed to offer little more to the story or drama. Sure, you mentioned being alone a good way to remember lost friends but the present-day story could have been tied into the themes even more tightly.

That being said, even if I might not have sounded enthusiastic about your previous entries, this finally proved to me that you really are a great author. Your descriptions and creation of emotion was always spot-on but here the premise, plot and your skills as a writer finally got to me. Superb job with short story and a fitting way to commemorate this sickening and tragic date.
7/25/2018 c1 13TimeLordMaster108
Great story as ever, you captured Ducky's character perfectly and I felt so bad for Judy and her Mum just like how I feel sorry for Judith and her Mum.

By the way did you happen to get the idea of Ducky having a long forgotten friend before Littlefoot and her story mirroring the real life tragedy from my story The Land Before Time XV: The Forgotten Friend? if so then that's cool.
7/25/2018 c1 11KnightLawn
Amazing this was great.

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