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for THoND2: A Tale Of True Love

9/13/2019 c11 Interstate2011
What was the penultimate song? You know, the second-to-last one, during the father-daughter dance?

I understand having Madellaine singing "I'm Gonna Love You" because her VA, Jennifer Love Hewitt sang it for the credits and should have sung it in the movie.

And how I recognize the final one being from Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella.
9/13/2019 c10 Interstate2011
Some father Jehan was!
9/13/2019 c9 Interstate2011
Is this why you visualize Liz Callaway as the singing voice of your title OC?

I can't believe it! So this means, the original Frollo was somehow Quasimodo's (paternal) uncle!
9/13/2019 c4 Interstate2011
Where's that "Rhythm of Tambourines" song from?
8/2/2019 c1 Dork A saurus
I loved the first book now there married HURAY. This is official my second favorite love scene. (My first is from Gargoyles when goliath said " You and I are one, know and forever" to demona
12/2/2018 c1 1LeslieTheSorceress
Hi, Natalie! My name's Leslie, and I'm a longtime fanfiction author and Disney aficionado. I just finished this story, and instead of leaving a new review for every chapter, I thought that I would include all of my thoughts in one big review :)

First off, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this. I'm always looking for new Hunchback stories (it's my favorite Disney film by far-I also used to have a gigantic crush on Quasi, so I definitely understand the place where this story came from! LOL), and I'm so happy that I found this one! It typically takes me such a long time to finish fanfics, especially being a college student bogged down by schoolwork, but I loved this story so much that I finished it in one night. It was a quick and easy read that wasn't bogged down by any unnecessary detail, and that made it so much easier for me to enjoy. With time and practice, your writing will become more sophisticated, but your style is incredibly clean and polished for the place that you're at now, and I can't wait to read more of your pieces! :)

Okay, now to the specifics. I absolutely loved how well you were able to interweave characters and plot points from the Disney film, the original novel AND the Stephen Schwartz musical! They're all so different and special in their own ways, and you were able to highlight all three really well. I’m glad that you included the Jehan and Florika plot point-I honestly think that Jehan would have made a better villain than Sarousch in HoND 2, so I’m glad that you made him the main antagonist. I also love how you incorporated Fleur as an ex-lover of Phoebus’-I was NOT expecting her to make an appearance, so props to you for subverting my expectations so successfully (not to mention that she clashed so well with Esmeralda. I definitely think that you should have included a scene with just those two talking one-on-one).

I also loved Madellaine and Pierre’s relationship! It’s a pairing that I never would have imagined, but you really made me believe in them. Their date scene was so SO cute, and it made me realize how much the two of them have in common. I’m glad that it didn’t move too fast and that it took them a couple of years to get engaged, that made it all the more realistic for me. However, I thought that Madellaine and Pierre’s roles could have been a little more relevant to the plot. At times, I felt as though they were just there for the sake of being there.

That brings me to my first criticism of the story. As a writer, there are a lot of rules I try to follow when planning out my stories, and one of them goes as such: if you can write a major character out of the story without making any changes to the plot whatsoever, that character should either be taken out of the story entirely OR their role needs to be expanded. While I loved that Irena and Leslie were available as emotional support for Natalie (also, it made me so giddy to find a character with the same name as me :)), I felt like they could have been written out of the story. They were one-dimensional characters that didn't contribute anything new to the plot. By giving them their own personal goals that they attempt to achieve throughout the story that have nothing to do with helping Natalie, you could have made them feel more human and more relevant. They seem like incredibly loyal and sweet girls- I’d love to get to know them better!

My second major criticism of this story is how uncharacteristically perfect Quasi acts. Quasi has flaws like any other human being. He can be incredibly bitter (i.e: almost abandoning Esmeralda after learning that she didn’t return his affections and, later, almost letting her burn at the stake), endlessly insecure (I’m surprised that he didn’t bring up his “monstrousness” once during this story; twenty years of Frollo’s abuse definitely left an emotional scar that may never go away), and terrifyingly enraged (i.e: attacking Phoebus when he came into the belltower looking for Esmeralda). I didn’t feel as though any of these flaws were present during this story. For instance: Quasi being able to calmly compose himself and leave when being attacked by Natalie’s father was out of character for him. He’s subject to intense rage- having him actually snap at Natalie’s father would have been a lot more in-character and, frankly, would have made the story all the more interesting (don’t be afraid to create conflict between your protagonists! When done right, it can make the story incredibly engaging and lead to well-rounded character arcs).

ALSO… While I was reading the proposal scene in chapter one, I found the dialogue incredibly familiar. Then, I realized why: the entire scene plays out very similarly to a short story written in 2011 by my friend, Imaginative-Light77, on deviantart, called "Quasi's Question...", and some of the dialogue is exactly the same. I know that you’re very active on deviantart, and as a fellow Quasi lover I can’t imagine that you haven’t read Imaginative Light’s works. I love Imaginative Light, too, and I cite her as a big inspiration of mine. But, as I’ve learned the hard way, there’s a huge difference between taking inspiration from something and blatantly copying something. I know that you didn’t mean any harm, but, as an author who's also had her ideas stolen, I know that Miss Imaginative Light is going to be incredibly upset if she finds this story, and I recommend rewriting that scene before she does.

Every time I finish a story, I always try to suggest ways that the author can improve, so please don't take any of my criticisms offensively, because I didn't mean them that way at all. Good QuasiXOC fanfics are hard to find, and I'm so, SO glad that I found this one. It was such a fun read that totally took my mind off of the current stress in my life-and I have so much respect for writers who can so effortlessly transport their readers to a different world. I do genuinely love your writing and I love Natalie as a character. I noticed that you've written a lot of stories that star Natalie, and I can't wait to read all of them!

~ Leslie :)
12/2/2018 c12 LeslieTheSorceress
Hi, Natalie! My name's Leslie, and I'm a longtime fanfiction author and Disney aficionado. I just finished this story, and instead of leaving a new review for every chapter, I thought that I would include all of my thoughts in one big review at the end.

First off, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this. I'm always looking for new Hunchback stories (it's my favorite Disney film by far-I also used to have a gigantic crush on Quasi, so I definitely understand the place where this story came from! LOL), and I'm so happy that I found this one! It typically takes me such a long time to finish fanfics, especially being a college student bogged down by schoolwork, but I loved this story so much that I finished it in one night. It was a quick and easy read that wasn't bogged down by any unnecessary detail, and that made it so much easier for me to enjoy. With time and practice, your writing will become more sophisticated, but your style is incredibly clean and polished for the place that you're at now, and I can't wait to read more of your pieces! :)

Okay, now to the specifics. I absolutely loved how well you were able to interweave characters and plot points from the Disney film, the original novel AND the Stephen Schwartz musical! They're all so different and special in their own ways, and you were able to highlight all three really well. I’m glad that you included the Jehan and Florika plot point-I honestly think that Jehan would have made a better villain than Sarousch in HoND 2, so I’m glad that you made him the main antagonist. I also love how you incorporated Fleur as an ex-lover of Phoebus’-I was NOT expecting her to make an appearance, so props to you for subverting my expectations so successfully (not to mention that she clashed so well with Esmeralda. I definitely think that you should have included a scene with just those two talking one-on-one).

I also loved Madellaine and Pierre’s relationship! It’s a pairing that I never would have imagined, but you really made me believe in them. Their date scene was so SO cute, and it made me realize how much the two of them have in common. I’m glad that it didn’t move too fast and that it took them a couple of years to get engaged, that made it all the more realistic for me. However, I thought that Madellaine and Pierre’s roles could have been a little more relevant to the plot. At times, I felt as though they were just there for the sake of being there.

That brings me to my first criticism of the story. As a writer, there are a lot of rules I try to follow when planning out my stories, and one of them goes as such: if you can write a major character out of the story without making any changes to the plot whatsoever, that character should either be taken out of the story entirely OR their role needs to be expanded. While I loved that Irena and Leslie were available as emotional support for Natalie (also, it made me so giddy to find a character with the same name as me :)), I felt like they could have been written out of the story. They were one-dimensional characters that didn't contribute anything new to the plot. By giving them their own personal goals that they attempt to achieve throughout the story that have nothing to do with helping Natalie, you could have made them feel more human and more relevant. They seem like incredibly loyal and sweet girls- I’d love to get to know them better!

My second major criticism of this story is how uncharacteristically perfect Quasi acts. Quasi has flaws like any other human being. He can be incredibly bitter (i.e: almost abandoning Esmeralda after learning that she didn’t return his affections and, later, almost letting her burn at the stake), endlessly insecure (I’m surprised that he didn’t bring up his “monstrousness” once during this story; twenty years of Frollo’s abuse definitely left an emotional scar that may never go away), and terrifyingly enraged (i.e: attacking Phoebus when he came into the belltower looking for Esmeralda). I didn’t feel as though any of these flaws were present during this story. For instance: Quasi being able to calmly compose himself and leave when being attacked by Natalie’s father was out of character for him. He’s subject to intense rage- having him actually snap at Natalie’s father would have been a lot more in-character and, frankly, would have made the story all the more interesting (don’t be afraid to create conflict between your protagonists! When done right, it can make the story incredibly engaging and lead to well-rounded character arcs).

ALSO… While I was reading the proposal scene in chapter one, I found the dialogue incredibly familiar. Then, I realized why: the entire scene plays out very similarly to a short story written in 2011 by my friend, Imaginative-Light77, on deviantart, called "Quasi's Question...", and some of the dialogue is exactly the same. I know that you’re very active on deviantart, and as a fellow Quasi lover I can’t imagine that you haven’t read Imaginative Light’s works. I love Imaginative Light, too, and I cite her as a big inspiration of mine. But, as I’ve learned the hard way, there’s a huge difference between taking inspiration from something and blatantly copying something. I know that you didn’t mean any harm, but, as an author who's also had her ideas stolen, I know that Miss Imaginative Light is going to be incredibly upset if she finds this story, and I recommend rewriting that scene before she does.

Every time I finish a story, I always try to suggest ways that the author can improve, so please don't take any of my criticisms offensively, because I didn't mean them that way at all. Good QuasiXOC fanfics are hard to find, and I'm so, SO glad that I found this one. It was such a fun read that totally took my mind off of the current stress in my life-and I have so much respect for writers who can so effortlessly transport their readers to a different world. I do genuinely love your writing and I love Natalie as a character. I noticed that you've written a lot of stories that star Natalie, and I can't wait to read all of them!

~ Leslie :)

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