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6/21/2003 c2 leels
oh, very cool story! grey world is spookin' me out here!

i luv linkin park that you used in the fist chapter, what is that song you used in the second one? it very cool.

continue now or i will set my zombie army on ya. and they are not too cheery type of people. XD
5/18/2003 c2 70ariescelestial
You have some wonderful ideas for your story, but some of your sentences seem awkward. For example, sometimes the verbs are a little strange (like 'she wonder', a lot of verbs seem to be missing an 's' when they should have one). Otherwise, it's a great story. Looking forward to more chapters. (Dangit, now I have to start writing my own).

By the way, the italicized part, is that another song?
4/14/2003 c1 13Aberlemno
I've already said I love the fic, but ... I'll say it again ... The Grey World is such a good idea. Can't wait for another chapter.
4/13/2003 c1 12Nights Mistress
This is a fascinating idea, but your grammer detracts from it. Have you considered searching for a beta reader? It would be a pity to have this idea ignored because of grammatical errors.

Halley, huh? Nice
4/11/2003 c1 Noodles3
Hum...for a song-fic, this is surprisinly good. However, it took me a while to actually click it, since there wasn't a summary...and I don't consider "Nevermind" a summary.

Good story, you captured Halley's personality during that...time. At first I thought this was Yuri-centric, but I realized it was a Halley...it took me a while, but I still figured it out. I really like your detail; it's crisp and fresh, but still carried the flavour of the words. And for a first fanfic, the details are really good. It also helped that I know the song.

Good job, and I hope you'll write more fanfiction, Shadow Hearts in particular (but I puzzles me how you know this game but don't own it nor a PS2...or a computer...are you at a friend's house?).


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