FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Fearing A Freak

9/29/2020 c1 148rebecca-in-blue
Hi there, here from the Reviews Corner, and I really enjoyed this take on Lily growing up with magic but no knowledge it. You do a great job at showing what a scary thing it must have been for her and her family, and it reminded me in a lot of good ways of Elsa trying to hide her ice powers (in Frozen). I've never been a fan of Snape/Lily, but you make a good case for them being close in that he was the first person who could give her answers/information about what she could do. Wonderful work.
3/25/2020 c1 25Lillian Smith
I LOVE THIS! I love it so much! It so, so beautiful. I never thought of how Lily would struggle with her magic.

It was mentioned in the books how proud the parents were of Lily, so I never thought they might alienate her. I suppose they must've changed their minds as soon as they realized that she wasn't "bad different" but "good different", which leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I also love the little detail of how Lily craves for chocolate cake, since it's Petunia's favourite - it goes on to show how close they were, which makes me feel worse for Lily.

I absolutely LOVE the line, "Show me how to make magic." Well done!
A bit late, but happy birthday from the Reviews Corner!
8/6/2018 c1 83LucyLuna
"years old at the time, and thought" that comma after "time" isn't necessary.
"caught her breath, and continued" again the comma before the "and" isn't needed here. Very rarely are commas ever needed before "and"s. It's a joiner (not sure that's the technical def, but that's what I'm calling it here) like a comma can be and can bring two parts of a sentence together just fine on its own.
"which was way Lily always asked for it." "way" should be "why" here.
"A year passes. Petunia eventually becomes" The story switches to present-tense here after being past for the previous couple of scenes. It's up to you which tense you decide to pick for corrections, but it might be easier to go with present since that's what the bulk of your story is in.
""It's real for us." Severus responds." that period after "us" should be a comma. "Severus responds" is a dialogue tag and needs to be connected to its dialogue, not set apart from it.
I like a good Severus and Lily story, so I was keen to check this one out – but started with "Words of Comfort" because you wanted reviews on that one. Anyway, I liked this approach to Lily's witch-dom. Her having bouts of accidental magic that she thinks nothing of at first, because, well, why would she? Little kids believe in Santa and will accept just about anything as normal until taught otherwise. Turning into worrisome episodes for her parents who discuss behind closed doors what they should do and Petunia slowly, but surely pushing her away because she hates the accidental magic and knows Lily's the cause.
Severus coming in there at the end to give her a hand and reframe her mindset when it comes to her uncontrol magic and what it means in the future was sweet. I also liked the acknowledgment in the last bit about how she doesn't forget the kindness Severus showed her when he explained what she was to her, even if they aren't friends anymore.
8/3/2018 c1 24Tonirae
Nice background. Really shows how a great relationship between sisters sour and break completely.
8/3/2018 c1 28Son of Whitebeard
HEARTWARMING
8/3/2018 c1 27InTheMidstOfNovember
Although this isn't how I imagined the prompt would have been used, I like it for its uniqueness. Good job, and keep up the good work!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service