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for Forever Changed

6/12/2020 c4 Dark-Flowey
I'm not sure to understand what is going on XD
But, I hope "Ven" may have a chance for his life.

It was a super chapter
4/27/2020 c4 11Mukuro234
10/27/2019 c4 ButterflyStar
Wow wow, oh wow. There's a lot I could say about this and I'm going to try my best to say as much as I can because this is really amazing and I want to say a lot and how cool it is. I've just been trying to think of my words because I wasn't sure what would be good to say. First off this is a pretty cool concept to have and unique deal when you think about it. Ventus and vanitas are two in the same and I've always found it sad that they could never have just talk things out and understood one another. But you did that, you made this possible with your really good idea. Having them interact like that and managed to work together is something really cool to see. And also your writing is very very very amazing. Your detail is on point and I love it! I hope you come back to this one day. I'd love to see more. You're an amazing writer and you have some pretty cool ideas and I want to check out your other stories as well.
9/24/2019 c4 9Luna Lillyth
Haven't seen this au in fanfiction often.
Other than needing to slow down a little and add some drama, the story seems fine.

Vanitas and Ventus, being who they are, will most likely still come into conflict with each other over decisions.
They do have different views on life after all.
9/13/2019 c4 Byakuya Kuchiki
Boy, that part with Ventus and Vanitas had me almost in tears. Excellent done!
4/6/2019 c4 ReturningGuest
I keep coming back to re-read this chapter. There is so much amazing stuff that goes down here! I love love love the whole second half of this. The entire Ventus an Vanitas dive to the heart scene is beautiful! I love how you built Vanitas up here, keeping him like he usually is until he finally hits that breaking point and shows his true inner feelings. Showing them in a sad and feels way. Then to have Ventus realize about Vanitas and what he is feeling. Once again I love that. Showing how Ventus can take the time to understand once he thinks thing through and hears the other side.
I really hope there will be more. I wanna see the two of them talk things out now that they are getting along.
2/5/2019 c4 Guest
Did you know that Xigbar is Luxu, and Update soon.
12/28/2018 c4 Guest
This is a very interesting concept. I hope you can continue sometime
12/26/2018 c4 guest
please update the story
11/8/2018 c4 3Chirithy564
Hey a friend on fanfic, Riku Kingdom Hearts told me about this story and how good it was, I've read this and I agree that is it really really good. I immediately got hooked on your story! This story has a lot of potential and emotion and depth to it. It's amazing. The characters are so well in it and the story plot is awesome! I really hope you continue this cause I want to know what happens next! XD keep up the amazing work! :D
11/3/2018 c4 6Haxorus knight
what happens when Ven meets sora?
10/4/2018 c4 Whoa
OH DANG! THAT was so awesome!
10/2/2018 c4 87Riku Kingdom Hearts
Hmm I really really really LOVE this chapter a lot. By far my favorite chapter so far for all of this.
There is so much feeling and angst in it and it gives the good feelings that really help move this story very well.
The whole entire scene between Ven and Vanitas I love so much. The conflict and everything else. I just really love what you did here!

Great job on this chapter and happy to help of course XD
10/2/2018 c4 Vigriff
Wonderful chapter.
9/29/2018 c3 15Jdkwinxgrl
I just want to say, sometimes I’m unintentionally harsh and by no means do my list of critiques mean that this is a bad story, just that I see a lot of unrealized potential that could improve the work.

I love your fic so far. Idk how the flip this is supposed to proceed without a perceived antagonist - Xehanort never stays dead lol - but I’m excited. One thing I like is the fact that it’s strictly a tug of war right now with Ven-Van, meaning only one can strictly be in control at once, BUT, they can influence how the other is feeling. (Vanitas’ feelings of inadequacy had Ventus written all over it, which is why I’m interested in why Vanitas claimed those feelings were his and not Ventus’). I really hope this doesn’t turn into Ventus’ Commentary from here on out, and what I mean by that is, Ventus just becoming a voice in Vanitas’ head rather than someone who can actively control the body. I’d be fine with maybe the occasional head thought from Ventus, but I like the outward back and forth they got going on. I’ll meet you in the middle and say it’d be acceptable for Ventus to talk in the head but Vanitas has to answer verbally/audibly. ‘Specially love it when Vanitas’ head stops hurting when Ventus gives in. Speaking of, will Ventus be radio silence for the majority of the fic? Like, for that second half Ventus completely stepped out of the picture, which I get bc Vanitas is possessing him, but wouldn’t he want to see his friends lol? Maybe he was just thinking about stuff, or there’s a plot reason.
Getting really into my critiques, firstly, when Vanitas calls Ventus a “feckless neophyte” when he won’t cooperate, that’s quoting Xehanort. That’s fine, he was the guy’s pupil, great insult, but at the same time he’s insulting Ventus the same way Xehanort did? Out of context, that doesn’t seem like a problem, but within the context, Vanitas is trying to get Ventus to agree with him in order to face Xehanort with confidence. Mimicking Xehanort here isn’t going to be beneficial to Vanitas, because he’s basically saying that the same pain/abuse will /still/ be directed towards Ventus, just from a different source. Which is totally fine, Vanitas can make mistakes or sabotage himself, I just wish this insult would cue like a mini flash in Ventus’ brain to that time Xehanort called him that and caused him to resist more. If that’s not what you were going for and you want another insult, I have: useless defect, and incompetent eyesore.
Another critique I have, is that you tend to be repetitive with words like using ‘struggle’ a lot (7 times) and the word ‘looking’ at one point. Repetition can be used to emphasize something, but the way that your story is using it /wouldn’t/ be considered a great use of emphasis. Here’s an example of repetition used for emphasis: “As if the action itself was foreign to Vanitas, the confusion didn’t seem to wear off from his face. He was /hugging/ Sora. Sora was hugging him /back/.”. To keep a tab of thesaurus on hand would probably be beneficial. Some synonyms for struggle I have are: grapple, scrambled [to gather his thoughts].
Thirdly, I personally don’t think Aqua and Terra would let Ventus go so freely, considering the whole reason 2 of them left was to bring the others home. I can understand if Ventus and Vanitas need to think things out and determine their newfound relationship/who they want to be/who they are, but, no way is Aqua going to let Ventus leave without trying to convince him harder to stay.
I could say more, but I don’t want to theorize too much. I can’t wait to see more of this! HYPE.
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