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for Magical Mayhem - Part 3 - Killer Queen

12/28/2019 c23 17King Bowser7
Well, this was probably one of the best Mario fanfictions I've read. The characters, description, and humor kept me reading, along with the interesting plot and good portrayals of the canon cast. It definitely deserved more attention! In the future, you should consider uploading your stories in 1 part instead of three, since this story seemed more like one story seperated into three sections than a proper trilogy. All in all, though, I'm glad I read it and I wish you all the best of luck for the future!
12/26/2019 c22 7King Bowser7
I thought it was sweet the way Bowser leant some supplies and minions to help rebuild the castle...he really is a nice guy, deep down!
12/26/2019 c21 7King Bowser7
I enjoy all of your descriptions of Rhapsody. It really does seem like a fun place!
12/14/2019 c20 7King Bowser7
I enjoyed this chapter quite a bit, thanks to the atmospheric description of King Boo's realm and his banter with Bowser. It was nice to get more explanation on the Era of Ire, and Helen Gravely's backstory was a nice touch.
12/3/2019 c18 7King Bowser7
I liked all of the conversations between the characters, particularly the one between Mario and Peach. Everything feels like it's being wrapped up quite nicely. Poor Luigi...it seems like he's cursed to constantly deal with creepy beings like the shadow queen and ghosts,
11/28/2019 c17 7King Bowser7
So I guess that was the climax? I liked Diabella fending off the army of clones as well as the revelation about how dark and twisted Lentinellus really was. It's quite ironic how pathetic he was in the end considering how much trouble he caused. I'm glad all these troubles seem to have been wrapped up so that the heroes can get some well-earned peace!
11/18/2019 c16 7King Bowser7
The showdown between the heroes and Lentinellus's army was an epic moment! I enjoyed the sense of how outnumbered they were...it made it even better when their allies came in to join the fight!
11/5/2019 c15 7King Bowser7
That was a great battle! All of your descriptions were very vivid and helped add to the intensity of the fight. I'm glad Shalazia was able to show some remorse before she died, since she's been led on and manipulated her entire life. Let's hope Mario, Bowser, and Diabella punish Lentinellus next chapter!
10/12/2019 c14 7King Bowser7
I enjoyed this chapter's description. The dimension Eldstar is trapped in seems completely otherworldly, but what really shone out to me was the descriptions of Peach and Luigi's magic. It captured the natures of their elements perfectly and gave a good insight into how the feel about wielding them. I liked how Luigi was frightened of the darkness but found it relaxing once he gained control, it seemed like a fitting response for him!
10/11/2019 c13 7King Bowser7
I liked this version of the chapter much better. It feels much more like a climax, with all the characters coming together to end the threat once and for all. I'm glad the fight with Shalazia and Lentinellus is also going to be lengthened. I'm looking forward to an epic showdown!
10/11/2019 c12 7King Bowser7
I've got a bit of problems with this chapter. I feel kind of bad saying this because I've read the entire trilogy and have enjoyed it, but I'm not a fan of the direction this story is going. Ultimately I respect your vision so feel free to ignore my criticisms, but I'll lay them down here.

First of all, I found Lentinellus too weak. Considering he's been hyped since the beginning of the story and he seemed pretty strong in the last chapter where he fought Shalazia, I imagined he'd put up more of a fight. The whole deal with Shalazia and him was resolved way too quickly with seemingly little difficulty on the heroes' part. That's not my main issue, though. My main issue is with the way the canon characters have been portrayed.

Originally, in the earlier two stories in the trilogy, the story followed the Mario bros, Wario, the Koopas, etc as they dealt with the new threat to the world and uncovered the fact that all is not what it seems and who they thought were good and evil may not be correct. However, now the story seems to be more about Diabella and her crew.

The reason why I have a problem with this is that the story appears to make it out that the OCs are superior to the canon characters in every way. I'm not talking about their power levels here, since their backstory about being from an era of war is very developed and is actually my favorite part of the story. The issue I have is that the canon characters, with the exception of Ludwig, have for some reason started to be portrayed in a negative light. For some reason you've made out that all of the "good" entities in the Mario world are secretly evil and manipulating everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom? It's not that I take issue with that plot twist, it's simply that I don't like how the canon cast has become these entities' pawns and are now in the wrong. I would have preferred for them to come help Diabella right Lentinellus' wrongs.

It seems to me that the character of Diabella has gone from being an anti-villain and an eccentric mentor to Ludwig and has suddenly been bumped up to the main protagonist, a heroine who is very pointedly stronger and smarter then the entire canon cast, and is never wrong about anything. Diabella is starting to become kind of a Mary Sue in my opinion, which is frustrating because I actually did like her character, until about after the siege of Rhapsody finished up.

At the point, I'm hoping for Diabella to end up as the villain and for Mario, Princess Peach, Bowser and the rest of them to kill her and the rest of the OCs, because the majority of the story was told through the viewpoints of the canon characters and believe me, it doesn't feel good to watch them become either useless or unknowingly antagonistic to help the new "edgier" OCs stand out.

I hope you're not too offended by this lengthy review. I still planning to follow this story and I'm curious on how it'll all turn out. If you don't agree with my criticisms, don't change a thing. I'm not trying to discourage you from writing, so please don't let this review get you down! This has been an amazingly unique fanfiction and you're far more talented then the majority of users on this sight. Please, keep up the good work!
9/6/2019 c11 7King Bowser7
Well, at long last, Lentinellus finally makes his appearance. I like how this story offers an explanation for the inconsistencies between the games; it gives a unique feel that a lot of fan fictions don't have. I'm not quite sure how things will turn out; what are Jaydes, Grambi, and the Shadow Queen planning? Can't wait for the climax!
7/21/2019 c10 7King Bowser7
I can tell things are about to go down. Looking forward to some spic fight scenes! Can't wait to see what all the champions from the Age of Ire are capable of once they go all-out.
6/14/2019 c9 7King Bowser7
That was an intense chapter full of lots of cool and unique lore. This story's take on the Mushroom Kingdom is like nothing I've seen before and I'm totally loving it. I can see everything is building to a climax soon. I'm sure the end of the conflicts of the Era of Ire will be a sight worth seeing!
5/27/2019 c8 7King Bowser7
It's nice to see the whole Koopa Family finally reunited; with Lucia, too. I doubt things will stay peaceful for long, though, since Shalazia is still out there.
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