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for Scrambled Eggs

3/21 c1 45The Autistic Patriot
Holy wow, that's pretty depressing. But I don't mean it in a bad way, not at all. It's actually a pretty good story. I've noticed this and another story about what would happen if they died young, and they're interesting. Maybe I might make one of my own like this one day.

Keep up the great work.
9/13/2018 c1 30CupOfAngst
I actually read this story when it was first posted and had been meaning to review but just...couldn't really find the right words. I mean...this story was very hard for me to get through. It was devastating, and I still found myself thinking about it for several days after having read it. Chomper has always held a special place in my heart. I love him dearly, so reading this was incredibly painful, and just left me feeling so angry at the Gang, especially Cera and Littlefoot. I was so angry in fact that I'm ashamed to say it was hard for me to have a great deal of remorse for them when Chomper's parents had cornered them. It's not that I took joy in what happened to them...it was just my anger and sadness over how cruel they were made it difficult to feel the same kind of devastation I did for Chomper. Heh...I feel like a piece of shit for feeling this way.

At any rate...congrats for writing a story that actually left a heavy, emotional impact on my delicate little psyche DX
9/7/2018 c1 Twyg
You used the word "literally" way too much, but besides that the story is pretty good.
8/28/2018 c1 26Keijo6
I must say, this story has quite an intriguing idea. It would have been nice to see the Gang consider their options more with Chomper in the film or bring their memories of his kind to the spotlight. I really enjoyed this story due to its premise and rather well-executed drama. The theme of the consequences of one’s decision was also explored really nicely but there were still a few things that bothered me a bit.

The initial discussion was a quite believable twist from the original plotline and the Gang’s arguing and Littlefoot’s resignation were elaborated quite excellently. However, it’s here where I have some problems with Cera’s portrayal as here it appears as if she’s happy and eager to kill Chomper which feels a bit out of character for her. Her arguments could work on their own and I could see her going through with this but I’d see her hesitate a bit about what she’s doing.

The rest of the fic was described rather well and the last escape from Chomper’s parents was very intensely written. I’m not sure if killing the Gang was necessary for this fic’s message but in the end, you managed to do that scene quite solidly. Yet, Ozzy and Strut’s comments seemed a bit weird as I’d see them rather congratulating the main characters for their decision than mocking them about it.
They probably hate sharpteeth at least as much as the Gang. And finally, the same kind of unnecessarily analyzing tone of your first fic still lingered at times, for example in this scene.

"But this time, the gang were simply acting upon their paranoia, collectively deciding to eliminate the sharptooth before it even had a chance to live. Would it grow up to be a fearsome sharptooth? Who knows… not that it would make a difference now anyway, since it would never ever have the chance to strive for that goal."

For some reason, it again feels like we’re leaving from Littlefoot’s head to an observer’s view as the longneck probably is in no position to think about this issue this objectively in this situation.

But overall, this fic did the premise justice and I liked to see just how different decisions the Gang could have taken in some key scenes. Also, the ending in itself was quite effective as we didn’t need to see that scene to the very end. All in all, very solid work again!
8/28/2018 c1 25Vortex Lord
This is the alternative version about what happened in The Great Valley Adventure.
8/28/2018 c1 19The Rhombus
First of all, congratulations on pulling off one of the most effective acts of misdirection I have experienced when reading a fanfic. With a title like "scrambled eggs" my mind was in a place expecting a humorous tale involving the egg-stealer, but when the gang started talking about getting rid of Chomper those expectations were turned on their head. Though the concept of the gang murdering a baby sharptooth might seem out of character, I actually think it is a possibility that could have happened considering their history and their understanding of what would happen anyway. They understand that if they let him out in the Mysterious Beyond he will either come back or be eaten, and if they tell their parents then they will certainly kill it. So with the two leaders of the gang having experienced loss at the claws of sharpteeth it is understandable how they might make a harsh utilitarian judgement here. One that, ultimately, leads to their doom.

Though I must agree with your general aversion to fics that kill off the gang, I think the sandwiching of one child's fate with another's was effective in this case in showing how harsh actions made with the best intentions can sometimes lead to more suffering in the end. A cold lesson perhaps, but a valid one nonetheless. If I had one criticism it would just be that the ending scene (and, well, the Gang's ending) probably could have been trimmed down slightly to better suit the pacing of the story. But ultimately this is a minor criticism.

Overall this was another strong story from you, and I must applaud you for taking on a rather dark premise and theme and running with it until its conclusion. :) Though, with the proliferation of darker stories in the last few months, I am tempted to make many of the 2019 prompts more cheerful in tone. :p

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