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for Chaldea in Remnant

1/17 c10 Ryoji Mochizuki
interesting story an k then glhf
1/2 c1 Magi Mari
Seriously you included Gudako? Should've just stick with Gudao/Fujimaru
12/29/2020 c1 JustDusty
I have no idea who half these people are
12/24/2020 c10 larmmason
Yes, I understand, Will be following you over at Sufficient Velocity next. good luck and have a nice day.
12/24/2020 c2 larmmason
I was gonna ask about Doctor Romani in this Chapter but wow.. I hope he really came back this time.
and I thought I saw Doctor Roman's silhouette in Fate Grand Order Lost belt but maybe That's not him? hm... strange. or maybe That's really him. I hope he came back, really miss our sweet doctor.
12/23/2020 c1 larmmason
Thank you so much brought us this adventure of Chaldea.
I'm really glad that there are both Gudako and Gudao here and also have Kadoc, Ophelia who survive this time. I almost cry that I can see Ophelia survive this time now, really Thank you!

have a nice day, good luck and take care, Author Skyrig-san.
12/9/2020 c10 Potential
What do you think of Chaldea reaction series to other fictional verses like Fullmetal Alchemist that has Homunculi in it?
12/9/2020 c10 Genesis09
I ask that you put a link to your new Sufficient Velocity in your Author page here so that we may continue to find and read your amazing work.
12/7/2020 c5 TenshiNoAka
Okay, i have an overall understanding of this story at this point.

There's... problem.

I won't point out the obvious fact that the knowledge of onve verse is lacking to say the least. The major problem is the lack of a sense of direction. Its like this story doesn't know where its going with its narration. It just feels like a excuse to confront RWBY and Fate character rather than building a story around them.

It lack planning and foundation, i have the impression than you kind of just write off the first thing that come to mind. You need to make draft and analyze them. Each interaction have to serve a purpose, each scene need to have an utility, either for the character or the overall narration.

Not the worst story but its definitly lacking if you want it to be considered good. No secret if you want to be good, read and learn from author that are good.

There's some decent crossover :

Master of Aura by DrWriter21
Good knowledge of RWBY and HxH
Good uderstanding of the characters
Good sense of direction

A World Of Bloody Evolution by RedRumSprinkles
Nice integration of the two verse
Good sense of how the merge would impact Remnant
Stellar narration and understanding of the character

Remnant's Bizarre Adventure: Beacon is Unbreakable by The Inkasters
Stellar world building and integration of both lore
Stellar character interaction and devellopment
Very detailed and well written
Thats one show you how to please the fans of both series. Thats the level you want to aim

Try to evade Naruto related fic. Most of them are garbage.
12/7/2020 c1 TenshiNoAka
I can feel it everywhere in the dialogue.
Weebs. Weebs cringe.
Why did you think using a half assed mix of japanese and english was a good idea?
Do you pense que i am doing a good travail when i mix french and anglais to write you this? Is it pleasing to your yeux? Do you pense que je suis interresting already?
English, use it properly. No one need to know you can use one line japanese subs reheat and japanese honorific. Its disturb the overall sense of grammar.

Won't comment much of the rest. Feels more like of a crack fic with all the memes you throw left and right, can't comment on the story when there's not much of it.
11/11/2020 c10 Guest
2nd Proposal: Fate Grand Order and SCP Foundation crossover titled
"The Scarlet Awakening of the First Man"
Chaldea had thought they gained victory when they defeated Solomon, they have had the most powerful Servants from Alters, Divine Spirits, Demi gods and many more were on their side and have been able to beat every single singularity with ease. However something else was about to happen. A unexpected storm was on it's way one that they could not have been prepared for. Across another existence beyond the Nasuverse in a world of anomalies and where magic did not exist as mana, a once truly mighty individual imprisoned by the Fae for countless ages with sheer will causes a spacial anomaly that affects all realms and creates tears between existences and the Tree of Knowledge to weaken the Fae chains binding him exist. His name was Adam El Assem the First Man who was once the king of all of humanity and even the Elder gods has become active and wants to break free at last and reclaim his power and reforge his kingdom. By doing so he has created a rift between Chaldea and the SCP Foundation earths which has gathered the attention of the elder gods and far in the darkest pits of the Dark Below the cruel Scarlet King sees a new world ready to be annihilated in his long quest to destroy existence and senses the weak numerous powers in this new unforseen world. Chaldea will soon meet the shadowly SCP Foundation.
11/10/2020 c10 Void Butterfly
I understand if you want to try and improve the story by properly planning it out. In my opinion, it's always better to plan things out than to make it up as you go along. I've been enjoying the story so far, the characters from Fate and RWBY act how I imagine they would, and the dialogue is something I've been enjoying quite a bit.

What I will criticise about the story is your decision to have Pyrrha, Ozma, Solomon and Arsene/Roman summoned by Chaldea. There are already a large number of Servants in Chaldea to focus on, so having those four summoned feels a bit unnecessary and bloats the story in my opinion. Having Pyrrha return as a Servant makes it seem as though her death has no real consequence. It was a significant event in RWBY meant to show that not even the main characters are safe from dying, so it's a bit jarring to have her return like this.

I think it would have been better if you had set the timeline of the story after Götterdämmerung or earlier instead of where it is right now. I also don't think having Kadoc, Ophelia, Pepe and Gudako in the story will work either. It may have been better to just keep Ritsuka as the only Master in the story. Less is more after all.

It's up to you if you really want to migrate to Sufficient Velocity. I personally think that it's better to post stories on site like this and AO3, simply because you can just post a story here and if somebody doesn't like it, then they can type a review and leave it at that. On a forum based website, it's very easy for arguments and flame wars to start up if people disagree. You should take criticism over there with a grain of salt since the Nasuverse is a very complicated universe.

Good luck anyway.
11/6/2020 c8 War
To the guest that suggested a story proposal there is already a story like that called fate cinema order by D.N Works
11/4/2020 c10 Guest
Is space battle even a good fanfiction website I've tried to navigate it but it's so confusing.
11/3/2020 c10 Guest
Dont change this is the only fanfiction website that's not a utter clusterfuck of trying to find stories.
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