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for A Broken Family

4/13/2019 c1 75CanzetYote
I have some questions about this scene:

"sniffled Petrie as the tears began to escape from his eyes and trickle down his beak."

1. When Petrie cried, did his tears specifically trickle down:
A: The bridge of his beak and off the tip as he hung his head
or
B: The side of his beak diagonally and off his lower jaw and chin

2. Exactly how would Petrie react and what would he say to me if I hugged him, rubbed his back and licked those tears trickling down his beak with my tongue during the scene where he cried? Because every time I read that, I fantasize licking every last tear from Petrie's beak.

3. Dumb question but on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the saltiest, how salty would Petrie's tears taste on my tongue if I licked them directly from his beak?

4. On a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being freezing cold and 10 being scalding hot, how warm were those tears trickling down Petrie's beak?

I know these questions sound weird but please please PLEASE reply back!
4/1/2019 c1 6AllegroGiocoso
Nice seeing the perspective of the parents during Movie 7’s events. The deliberation between the parents on Pterano’s punishment would also make a good deleted scene, as it really provides insight to their characters. The parents’ relief here is great to see too, would make another good deleted scene, quite similar to LBT 5’s ending at first but with more emphasis on the parental worrying. Love how quick Mama Swimmer jumped in to ask where Ducky is before Pterano could even explain, really shows deep parental love and concern. Seeing Pterano reveal every villainous action he took throughout the first half of Movie 7 is also very impactful, and love seeing Mama Flyer and Swimmer in particular’s indignation. Quite remarkable too that Pterano was willing to cast himself in the worst possible light with Ducky’s kidnapping, very thoughtful of him, though considering how Rinkus and Sierra acted, they deserve some of the blame. Glad Petrie was able to speak up and protect Pterano from too much of a punishment. Topps’ extreme indignation throughout is quite entertaining to read, despite the serious circumstances. Love also seeing a full and complete apology from Pterano tinged with really emotionally powerful regret. Seeing Petrie forgive him and their interaction is very touching. Nice segueing it into the actual events of Movie 7 as well, and love how you center the movie events in Petrie’s perspective, as well as giving Petrie’s line to Ducky. Makes for a more emotional ending arguably.

Petrie’s worry and grief is really emotional, and seeing Topps’ provoking response and Petrie’s reaction leads to a very engaging and intense conflict to read! While Topps’ attacks on Pterano are certainly understandable and somewhat justified, if in bad taste, how he so quickly devolved into a racist flyer diatribe and personal insinuations on Petrie is quite horrifying. Seeing the personal impact it on had Petrie is heartbreaking. Glad the others condemned Topps here. Petrie sure gave a sharp, though not undeserved response to Topps! The tension between them is really palpable, and I can’t believe Topps would resort to physically attacking Petrie. And Mama Flyer’s response at the end … Chilling, that’s for sure!

Good to see Mama Flyer following Petrie and stopping him from doing something he’d regret. Quite surprised to see Pterano still here, but very happy to see that he and Petrie get a chance to really talk. Love to see how loving he has become to Petrie. The conflict between Mama Flyer and Pterano is richly explored, and like to see how Petrie halted it. I’m torn on the subject of whether Petrie should know, yes, he is very young and quite panicky, but yet he’s also dealt with so much of life’s realities already. The goodbyes are really touching, really showing how close Petrie and Pterano have gotten. Also like Mama Flyer’s qualified congratulations about what Petrie and the others had accomplished. Petrie’s grief-stricken reactions afterward are also beautifully explored and well-described. Mama Flyer is also doing a very good job explaining to Petrie of the longterm damage Pterano had left, and how she was able to persuade Petrie to rejoin his friends.

Nice to see Petrie returning before the others expected, and happy to see Littlefoot is stopping Cera from saying something hurtful. Really nice to see the Petrie-Ducky interaction time, and love to see Petrie finding out the true reason why Ducky went off, and like the foreshadowing of Secret Love. Very cute and emotional with the two of them. Like to see Ducky being positive to Mama Flyer about Pterano as well and Mama Flyer’s valuable lesson at the end. And a nice, goodnight scene to wrap this up.
10/10/2018 c1 1zac.burdett
That was a great stoy, i hope next year you do a sonic boom x land before time crossover story
9/15/2018 c1 26Keijo6
Well, your stories are really becoming some of the best LBT fics this year. You manage to create emotional scenarios quickly and your scenes once again flowed excellently here. It was a nice idea to show a deeper and longer ending to the film as Petrie and Pterano certainly deserved a better parting than what they had and mostly, I’d say you really made the concept justice.

In the first part of the story, it was a good idea to mix some of the actual dialogue into your own lines, tying the storytelling into the film we all know, making this fic really feel like an improved version of the film. Even better, the transitions between the two parts seemed very subtle, for example in the scenes leading up to Pterano’s final sentence. Petrie’s defense, the adults’ reactions, everything seemed to work there.

My other favorite scene was the talk between the three flyers as, like Rhombus and OwlsCantRead said, it showed the lingering faults in Pterano’s character. It’s clear that he’d like to do more for Petrie but his regret isn’t as sincere with some others, like his sister. His parting words of acting as a father to his nephew sometime in the future was a great way to give them the parting as were the siblings’ brief argument about Petrie’s real father.

Yet, there were two parts that bothered me a bit. Topps’ breakdown seemed to really stretch the limits of his character as I wouldn’t see him go as far as actually accusing Petrie of the things he might do in the future. That scene seemed to break that sequence’s similar feel with the film somewhat. The other thing was the ending as I felt that the scene with Ducky and Petrie wasn’t really needed. I don’t think it contributed a whole lot to the story and I would have likely ended the fic at the same point as the film did.

But other than that, nice work again. I really like your ability to create the feelings in your fics and the overall pacing and plotlines you’ve recently come up with. It’s truly great to see what kind of stories you’ll do when the prompt challenge resumes!
9/14/2018 c1 20The Rhombus
You certainly were quite correct about this story going into a dark place, like the others. But that being said many of the best stories deal with elements of loss or near-loss. And, though Pterano is merely banished here, as far as the young flyer's emotions are concerned it is an almost permanent loss all the same. :(petrie In particular, I must agree with OwlsCantRead's prior review where he noted that Pterano's moral ambiguity is captured quite well here. This fits what we have seen of his character much better than in many other fics which have modified his character somewhat. Likewise you have captured Mama Flyer and Petrie's interactions quite well as the young flyer tries to come to terms with his emotional parting.

As a side note you mentioned that you were uncertain if December's prompt would be one that you could respond to. One possibility that I will just throw out there that the proposed "belief" prompt would probably quite work from Pterano's perspective. We could see what belief (perhaps a belief in his own worthiness for redemption) sustains him during his exile. I just figured I would mention that idea because it certainly popped into my mind while reading this story. :yes

Thank you for providing us with another great story. :)
9/14/2018 c1 39OwlsCantRead
I must say the concept of a personal farewell between Petrie and Pterano works astonishingly well since he behaves differently here in comparison to the canon Rock Circle meeting at the end of LBT7.

What I like most about this story is that it doesn't hide Pterano's shortcomings. It's obvious that he's a morally gray character, and his interactions with his sister (even losing control of himself in front of Petrie) prove that. Overall, a fond farewell I can get behind.
9/13/2018 c1 14TimeLordMaster108
This was a really great story for 2018, loved the opening part since it did a scene I felt should've been in the actual movie, and the ending was really nice, I always feel bad for Pterano.

Anyway can't wait to see what you do next year, but I honestly don't 5hink this story was as dark as the last two which is a nice change.

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