for How Eating a Strange Fruit Gave Me My Quirk2/24 c50 gigamans57
Alright just ignore my reviews as I read through this previously because I'll just give my thoughts in one.
I wanted to like this story, the original concept of just giving him a rubber body with OFA was fantastic, but I just couldn't like it. I think you took the main aspect of MHA, where Izuku works constantly through trials to push himself to be the best, and turned it into something utterly uninspiring. And despite him having all of that power, the plot is basically the same until the end. How does so much shit change with the main character and yet every single main plot point is hit until the end raid?
He basically has use of 100% of OFA from the start, and the powerscaling makes no sense as a result. He beat the nomu that All Might needed to go all out on in the USJ, and then the sports festival happens and he's just, so weak. We see All Might can jump a hundred plus meters, and move so fast people can't SEE him move. In the first arc we see him change the fucking weather with his punches. And yet through this story you have Izuku be weaker than him until the end, we'll just fucking skip the Devil Fruit I guess. So the story removes Izuku's whole shounen training shit while keeping him at the same strength. Watching him fucking steamroll people would've been about a hundred times more interesting. All Might is so strong he holds up society on his own, with JUST 100% OFA, no rubber bullshit, no Haki, no 7 quirks, it's just him beating ass. Izuku using 100% OFA with martial arts training should be just as strong, if not stronger since he's a more recent OFA user. The only guy that can fight All Might is some Deus Ex bullshit 200 year old fucker with hundreds of quirks, and All Might STILL BEAT HIM. And you have Izuku struggling against shitters who he should be one-tapping from the start.
The romance. It is soulless, I do not understand what the point was other than having Izuku 'catch em all'. Every girl feels the same, girls are thrown in there with whom he has like zero fucking interactions with, then he makes out with Ragdoll and doesn't tell any of them, and then at the end I guess they're all bisexual so it'll all work out, before fucking off for two months without informing them beforehand. I don't mind harem fics I guess when it's the focus and it's written believably, this was NOT that. Why on earth did you not just pair him with one of them? The end result of the all the girls being like 'it's fine we'll share him' makes them all seem so incredibly undesirable, when honestly Momo herself could pull LITERALLY ANYONE IN JAPAN. I cannot, in literally any scenario, imagine a girl like her being fine sharing anyone. Why were they even remotely ok with the bullshit with Melissa Shields, how does that not immediately fuck with their confidence when Izuku can't just say 'hey sorry I'm dating 4 super hot chicks it'd probably be a dick fucking move to date you too'. Mind you at that point none of them were doing the whole insta-bisexual shit so they were apparently just fine with adding another girl when he doesn't spend ANY time with them. If you originally had the girls as bi, or they showed ANY hesitation to being part of some ridiculous harem with a teenage boy, I'd have been more fine with it. But the romance misses so hard in this I can't believe that this story has the romance tag. The story does a disservice to every one of those female canon characters.
You could've cut out so much of the plot, skimmed over a ton of shit that was the exact same as canon, and focused on the multitude of relationships that had no buildup and did not grow at all in 500k words. What the fuck is up with Tsuyu? I'm pretty sure she has more romance with fucking Ochako when they're making out in her room than with Izuku, what is the point? How is it not more interesting to have some of the girls be broken hearted and move on? Are stories not about growth? This story misses the literal main point of MHA and somehow takes away so much of it while trying to add to it. A super frustrating read.
Alright just ignore my reviews as I read through this previously because I'll just give my thoughts in one.
I wanted to like this story, the original concept of just giving him a rubber body with OFA was fantastic, but I just couldn't like it. I think you took the main aspect of MHA, where Izuku works constantly through trials to push himself to be the best, and turned it into something utterly uninspiring. And despite him having all of that power, the plot is basically the same until the end. How does so much shit change with the main character and yet every single main plot point is hit until the end raid?
He basically has use of 100% of OFA from the start, and the powerscaling makes no sense as a result. He beat the nomu that All Might needed to go all out on in the USJ, and then the sports festival happens and he's just, so weak. We see All Might can jump a hundred plus meters, and move so fast people can't SEE him move. In the first arc we see him change the fucking weather with his punches. And yet through this story you have Izuku be weaker than him until the end, we'll just fucking skip the Devil Fruit I guess. So the story removes Izuku's whole shounen training shit while keeping him at the same strength. Watching him fucking steamroll people would've been about a hundred times more interesting. All Might is so strong he holds up society on his own, with JUST 100% OFA, no rubber bullshit, no Haki, no 7 quirks, it's just him beating ass. Izuku using 100% OFA with martial arts training should be just as strong, if not stronger since he's a more recent OFA user. The only guy that can fight All Might is some Deus Ex bullshit 200 year old fucker with hundreds of quirks, and All Might STILL BEAT HIM. And you have Izuku struggling against shitters who he should be one-tapping from the start.
The romance. It is soulless, I do not understand what the point was other than having Izuku 'catch em all'. Every girl feels the same, girls are thrown in there with whom he has like zero fucking interactions with, then he makes out with Ragdoll and doesn't tell any of them, and then at the end I guess they're all bisexual so it'll all work out, before fucking off for two months without informing them beforehand. I don't mind harem fics I guess when it's the focus and it's written believably, this was NOT that. Why on earth did you not just pair him with one of them? The end result of the all the girls being like 'it's fine we'll share him' makes them all seem so incredibly undesirable, when honestly Momo herself could pull LITERALLY ANYONE IN JAPAN. I cannot, in literally any scenario, imagine a girl like her being fine sharing anyone. Why were they even remotely ok with the bullshit with Melissa Shields, how does that not immediately fuck with their confidence when Izuku can't just say 'hey sorry I'm dating 4 super hot chicks it'd probably be a dick fucking move to date you too'. Mind you at that point none of them were doing the whole insta-bisexual shit so they were apparently just fine with adding another girl when he doesn't spend ANY time with them. If you originally had the girls as bi, or they showed ANY hesitation to being part of some ridiculous harem with a teenage boy, I'd have been more fine with it. But the romance misses so hard in this I can't believe that this story has the romance tag. The story does a disservice to every one of those female canon characters.
You could've cut out so much of the plot, skimmed over a ton of shit that was the exact same as canon, and focused on the multitude of relationships that had no buildup and did not grow at all in 500k words. What the fuck is up with Tsuyu? I'm pretty sure she has more romance with fucking Ochako when they're making out in her room than with Izuku, what is the point? How is it not more interesting to have some of the girls be broken hearted and move on? Are stories not about growth? This story misses the literal main point of MHA and somehow takes away so much of it while trying to add to it. A super frustrating read.
2/24 c37 gigamans57
So literally no indication that they're bisexual but they've decided to start that so that they're relationship works, instead of talking about it beforehand?
Of course they're all just going to be super into each other, great writing. Conflict is super boring anyways, let's just have them all work it out perfectly!
I get not wanting to choose or whatever as an author and a harem is some power fantasy, but I don't get the point of adding them all if the end result is that none of them have any personality whatsoever.
If you started swapping the girls names in dialogue I would not be able to tell. They are literally all the exact same person: Love Izuku, apparently bisexual, concerned about his antics, want to ~do their best!~
So literally no indication that they're bisexual but they've decided to start that so that they're relationship works, instead of talking about it beforehand?
Of course they're all just going to be super into each other, great writing. Conflict is super boring anyways, let's just have them all work it out perfectly!
I get not wanting to choose or whatever as an author and a harem is some power fantasy, but I don't get the point of adding them all if the end result is that none of them have any personality whatsoever.
If you started swapping the girls names in dialogue I would not be able to tell. They are literally all the exact same person: Love Izuku, apparently bisexual, concerned about his antics, want to ~do their best!~
2/24 c31 gigamans57
Can't wait for another power-up for the MC only for the exact same thing as canon happening.
How are they even saying his name, "D-Eku"?
Can't wait for another power-up for the MC only for the exact same thing as canon happening.
How are they even saying his name, "D-Eku"?
2/24 c27 gigamans57
And now he's making out with another chick. What a fucking douche, seriously.
I've seen harem fics that work, this one does not, in any way. These girls aren't people, they're props for your 'super cool MC' to show off how big of a chad he is. Again, Izuku is a fucking bastard in this masquerading as some clueless kid, have any of the girls make out with some random older dude, which at this point they'd be perfectly fucking justified in doing, and then NOT TELL HIM IMMEDIATELY. Bro fuck off with this. Every other chapter it's some new chick falling in love at first sight.
And now he's making out with another chick. What a fucking douche, seriously.
I've seen harem fics that work, this one does not, in any way. These girls aren't people, they're props for your 'super cool MC' to show off how big of a chad he is. Again, Izuku is a fucking bastard in this masquerading as some clueless kid, have any of the girls make out with some random older dude, which at this point they'd be perfectly fucking justified in doing, and then NOT TELL HIM IMMEDIATELY. Bro fuck off with this. Every other chapter it's some new chick falling in love at first sight.
2/24 c23 gigamans57
Holy shit the 'romance' man... So this girl has known him for like 3 days and they're all just fine with... whatever the fuck is going on here.
This is like a how-to on how to write shallow romance. None of these girls have any real feelings for him if they're just fine with this. Am I just hate reading at this point?
Holy shit the 'romance' man... So this girl has known him for like 3 days and they're all just fine with... whatever the fuck is going on here.
This is like a how-to on how to write shallow romance. None of these girls have any real feelings for him if they're just fine with this. Am I just hate reading at this point?
2/24 c22 gigamans57
Hopefully with you adding an entirely new character to UA and the plot we'll see some differences from canon, I kind of doubt it at this point though.
Also hilarious another girl just falls in love with him after a couple hours. There's no build up with any of this, and a guy having 4 girlfriends and then not just being able to say 'no' to another girl is just...
Even with having ONE girlfriend and entertaining another is bad, but can you imagine you're this douchebag tools girlfriend with 3 other girls and you're all STILL not enough? Holy fuck harem fics man.
Hopefully with you adding an entirely new character to UA and the plot we'll see some differences from canon, I kind of doubt it at this point though.
Also hilarious another girl just falls in love with him after a couple hours. There's no build up with any of this, and a guy having 4 girlfriends and then not just being able to say 'no' to another girl is just...
Even with having ONE girlfriend and entertaining another is bad, but can you imagine you're this douchebag tools girlfriend with 3 other girls and you're all STILL not enough? Holy fuck harem fics man.
2/24 c18 gigamans57
Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, billionaires daughter with insanely powerful quirk agrees to share boy with 3 other girls.
I can see this working if they all had romantic feelings for one another, but you cannot honestly tell me that all 4 of them will be fine just sharing the guy?
Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, billionaires daughter with insanely powerful quirk agrees to share boy with 3 other girls.
I can see this working if they all had romantic feelings for one another, but you cannot honestly tell me that all 4 of them will be fine just sharing the guy?
2/24 c17 gigamans57
So Tenya can knock him out and not one for all.
I'm reading canon. Even the shit Stain says is basically the same. In the exact same scenario.
I don't get the point of giving him the devil fruit if everything stays the same. All it does is butcher Izuku's character arc. Him building his body up to become a hero despite the insane odds against him. Here he's just coasting. You write about him training for years and being able to use OFA better, and it doesn't matter.
It's all the exact same, so what we're left with is a story primarily about a hero's progression, with no progression happening, while he wears an extremely out of place strawhat. Oh also extremely bland romance.
So Tenya can knock him out and not one for all.
I'm reading canon. Even the shit Stain says is basically the same. In the exact same scenario.
I don't get the point of giving him the devil fruit if everything stays the same. All it does is butcher Izuku's character arc. Him building his body up to become a hero despite the insane odds against him. Here he's just coasting. You write about him training for years and being able to use OFA better, and it doesn't matter.
It's all the exact same, so what we're left with is a story primarily about a hero's progression, with no progression happening, while he wears an extremely out of place strawhat. Oh also extremely bland romance.
2/24 c16 gigamans57
Cuck Izuku continues to be perfectly nice to Bakugo despite him making his life hell for a decade.
'Villain rankings' I can only hope this isn't a real thing in your AU. Encouraging villains to do crime..?
And you have him LOSING TO STAIN. Basically just a fucking guy with a sword. Hope he gets his ass beat later in canon, this is fucking pathetic.
Holy fuck this had so much potential but it's basically just a canon rehash. Even interning with a different person changes literally nothing? Don't be a coward and change SOMETHING. With the devil fruit and being able to use OFA to the extent he can, he'd kick the fucking shit out of his canon self, and yet nothing is different here?
Cuck Izuku continues to be perfectly nice to Bakugo despite him making his life hell for a decade.
'Villain rankings' I can only hope this isn't a real thing in your AU. Encouraging villains to do crime..?
And you have him LOSING TO STAIN. Basically just a fucking guy with a sword. Hope he gets his ass beat later in canon, this is fucking pathetic.
Holy fuck this had so much potential but it's basically just a canon rehash. Even interning with a different person changes literally nothing? Don't be a coward and change SOMETHING. With the devil fruit and being able to use OFA to the extent he can, he'd kick the fucking shit out of his canon self, and yet nothing is different here?
2/24 c15 gigamans57
Oh what-fucking-ever he only had 10 people looking to work with him. Hundreds or thousands of offers and basically all of them pulled back because of Endeavour?.. Literally only 10 people willing to, if nothing else, use his fame for their own improvement. Bullshit. Yeah, he's really showing the world he's here by basically being a fucking nobody despite winning.
So what even is his hero name.. Is it Will of D?.. How the fuck do people even call out to him? 'Help me, will of D'?
Oh what-fucking-ever he only had 10 people looking to work with him. Hundreds or thousands of offers and basically all of them pulled back because of Endeavour?.. Literally only 10 people willing to, if nothing else, use his fame for their own improvement. Bullshit. Yeah, he's really showing the world he's here by basically being a fucking nobody despite winning.
So what even is his hero name.. Is it Will of D?.. How the fuck do people even call out to him? 'Help me, will of D'?
2/24 c13 gigamans57
Huh, lamer than canon for sure. It's kind of annoying how he's told to go out there and show how strong he is and he's struggling against these 1st year kids.
100% One for all should just be able to punch the air and blow them off the platform basically instantly. All Might changes the weather with his punches. Todoroki and Midoriya rip through walls of cement in canon when they go all out. How is he struggling against a girl with big hands? Just have him crush everyone like he honestly should be doing?..
Huh, lamer than canon for sure. It's kind of annoying how he's told to go out there and show how strong he is and he's struggling against these 1st year kids.
100% One for all should just be able to punch the air and blow them off the platform basically instantly. All Might changes the weather with his punches. Todoroki and Midoriya rip through walls of cement in canon when they go all out. How is he struggling against a girl with big hands? Just have him crush everyone like he honestly should be doing?..
2/24 c11 gigamans57
Constantly switching up shoto and shota, just call them Aizawa and Todoroki please... It's so confusing/annoying.
Constantly switching up shoto and shota, just call them Aizawa and Todoroki please... It's so confusing/annoying.
2/8 c50 Guest02957
Awesome story! I love how you had Izuku get One for All and the Human-Human Fruit, Model: Nika. I also love how you had the past users of One for All give Izuku the stockpile portion of One for All as a final gift. Will All Might and Gran Torino be able to make peace with Shigaraki? Will the stockpile portion of One for All merge with the Human-Human Fruit, Model: Nika? These are just suggestions since this is your story and you can write it however you want.
Anyway, awesome story and keep up the great work!
Awesome story! I love how you had Izuku get One for All and the Human-Human Fruit, Model: Nika. I also love how you had the past users of One for All give Izuku the stockpile portion of One for All as a final gift. Will All Might and Gran Torino be able to make peace with Shigaraki? Will the stockpile portion of One for All merge with the Human-Human Fruit, Model: Nika? These are just suggestions since this is your story and you can write it however you want.
Anyway, awesome story and keep up the great work!