for Dark Discoveries12/5/2023 c85 ThunderSphinx
Where is Hermione and Daphne? They found out about each other and then nothing. What happens next? Plus, we waited 50 chapters to get Daphne back, only for you to now focus on Amelia, or some reason, it's frustrating. I dint think I have to say that Daphne is far more popular than Amelia Bones. Last we saw, Daphne was going to bring in reinforcements against Hermione. Now, go from there, please. We want to see what these reinforcements are and how Hermione will respond. Hopefully, we dont have to wait a dozen more chapters.
Where is Hermione and Daphne? They found out about each other and then nothing. What happens next? Plus, we waited 50 chapters to get Daphne back, only for you to now focus on Amelia, or some reason, it's frustrating. I dint think I have to say that Daphne is far more popular than Amelia Bones. Last we saw, Daphne was going to bring in reinforcements against Hermione. Now, go from there, please. We want to see what these reinforcements are and how Hermione will respond. Hopefully, we dont have to wait a dozen more chapters.
10/23/2023 c84 yoto
bon chapitre
bon chapitre
10/22/2023 c1 montanoaries9
to JD27: the MC in here is not chaotic evil or something else his just someone who only think with his dik nothing more nothing less, all his braincell is used on how to bed women and pleasure himself, this is pretty much just a pornvel with a little bit of plot.
to JD27: the MC in here is not chaotic evil or something else his just someone who only think with his dik nothing more nothing less, all his braincell is used on how to bed women and pleasure himself, this is pretty much just a pornvel with a little bit of plot.
10/22/2023 c84 Guest
Go to read this story on Ao3, it's on chapter 92 there.
Go to read this story on Ao3, it's on chapter 92 there.
10/20/2023 c3 JD27
You know that meme about how people *think* they’re playing chaotic evil, but in reality are playing chaotic stupid? That’s how I would describe the way Harry is written. The structure of the story and the POV *want* to present a damaged but internally-justified revenge story/dark turn for Harry, but instead he comes across as an immature and stupid edgelord.
His emotions and internal monologue are too one-note, to the point where they are boring and cartoonish. This is exactly the kind of non-character non-arc that the tv show Archer parodied during its “rampage” bits. There are a lot of chapters I haven’t read, so maybe it does come up how self-sabotaging and self-destructive Harry is being, but judging from the other reviews, I doubt it.
The issue isn’t that Harry is being “dark” or “evil”. The issue is that Harry’s manipulations are one-note and aimless, and his targets are just plain nonsensical.
Maybe a greater structural issue was starting at Hogwarts. Thinking about it, it’s obvious that a Harry in a dark timeline must have developed *some* skills of manipulation just to be able to survive the Dursleys. But rather than an insightful and intelligent inner monologue showing how he uses empathy to read and manipulate people, it’s just bland descriptions of anger.
Put another way, if you’re writing a chaotic evil character, we can assume that they’ve more-or-less behaved the same throughout their backstory. These things don’t change overnight. So, they need to walk a line where they aren’t so chaotic stupid that they would have realistically been imprisoned or executed prior to the story.
With that background, this Harry and this world just can’t coexist as the do at the start of chapter 1. Harry *can* get there, but that buildup is missing. And without proper buildup and characterization, he comes across more as immature, stupid, and maybe even a little like he’s throwing a tantrum rather than being a manipulative genius who has taken a dark turn.
Unfortunately the framing, POV, and inner thoughts are really make-or-break for this kind of story. In my opinion, this is more break than make.
You know that meme about how people *think* they’re playing chaotic evil, but in reality are playing chaotic stupid? That’s how I would describe the way Harry is written. The structure of the story and the POV *want* to present a damaged but internally-justified revenge story/dark turn for Harry, but instead he comes across as an immature and stupid edgelord.
His emotions and internal monologue are too one-note, to the point where they are boring and cartoonish. This is exactly the kind of non-character non-arc that the tv show Archer parodied during its “rampage” bits. There are a lot of chapters I haven’t read, so maybe it does come up how self-sabotaging and self-destructive Harry is being, but judging from the other reviews, I doubt it.
The issue isn’t that Harry is being “dark” or “evil”. The issue is that Harry’s manipulations are one-note and aimless, and his targets are just plain nonsensical.
Maybe a greater structural issue was starting at Hogwarts. Thinking about it, it’s obvious that a Harry in a dark timeline must have developed *some* skills of manipulation just to be able to survive the Dursleys. But rather than an insightful and intelligent inner monologue showing how he uses empathy to read and manipulate people, it’s just bland descriptions of anger.
Put another way, if you’re writing a chaotic evil character, we can assume that they’ve more-or-less behaved the same throughout their backstory. These things don’t change overnight. So, they need to walk a line where they aren’t so chaotic stupid that they would have realistically been imprisoned or executed prior to the story.
With that background, this Harry and this world just can’t coexist as the do at the start of chapter 1. Harry *can* get there, but that buildup is missing. And without proper buildup and characterization, he comes across more as immature, stupid, and maybe even a little like he’s throwing a tantrum rather than being a manipulative genius who has taken a dark turn.
Unfortunately the framing, POV, and inner thoughts are really make-or-break for this kind of story. In my opinion, this is more break than make.
10/8/2023 c1 Guest
Far too many mistakes in grammar with a strange opening. Made it halfway before putting the story down.
Far too many mistakes in grammar with a strange opening. Made it halfway before putting the story down.
10/7/2023 c83 Verina Du'Arden
Good story. Though a little heavy on the sex scenes, and light on Harry's vengeance. After all the males where just as, or even more dismissive and tormenting then any of the girls. Though I guess a male Harry really can't go after the boys, even if he uses magic to turn himself into an appropriately sexy female without the story being tagged as 'slash'.
Good story. Though a little heavy on the sex scenes, and light on Harry's vengeance. After all the males where just as, or even more dismissive and tormenting then any of the girls. Though I guess a male Harry really can't go after the boys, even if he uses magic to turn himself into an appropriately sexy female without the story being tagged as 'slash'.
10/5/2023 c83 Danny
Thanks for the chapter
Thanks for the chapter
10/5/2023 c83 yoto
bon chapitre
bon chapitre
10/5/2023 c83 montanoaries9
the author really should slow down on 18 content and move on the story, the content became just a porn with almost no plot,
the author really should slow down on 18 content and move on the story, the content became just a porn with almost no plot,
10/4/2023 c83 fallendemon248
Amelia is either gonna walk in on them or there's an observation room no one knows about it
Amelia is either gonna walk in on them or there's an observation room no one knows about it