Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Five Worlds War: The Eclipsing Shadow

3/10 c3 23Bigby the Big Bad Wolf
Been while hasn't it? Things have been rough at work. While we got some good workers now, I'm still looking into new places to work with.

The only real complaint I have is not at your story personally but I got a little annoyed at the scenes constantly jumping back and forth between fights.

Now to be fair, that happens in anime fights. However I feel it doesn't quite transition well in written form. I would rather one fight completed at a time instead of constantly switching scenes.

However that's just me personally. That and I was a bit more tired than I realized when I was reading this.

Now onto the story itself:

So the fight with Lance vs Sasuke. I had a feeling Sasuke was gonna win just by seeing how arrogant Lance was. Arrogant opponent combined with Sasuke being an OP anime character equeals defeat. I will give Lance props for trying to prevent Jutsu by eating Sasuke's arm but of course Sasuke had a way to counter it. Once he showed he could still use jutsu it was all over.

Next the fight between Kurotsuchi and Aldegor. Hmm. I'm noticing that the Arrancar are very arrogant and that's costing them. Reminds me of the battle between the Espada and the Captains suring the Hueco Mundo arc.

Anyway,Kurotsuchi struggled for a bit but I liked the way she used her different jutsu to immobilize and then knock her opponent out. Pity she drained herself in the process but she still won.

Next was Brook vs Menis. Heh a skeleton vs a ghost. Seems like the build up to a joke. All the same I loved seeing Brook in action. Busting out his soul full powers meant Menis didn't stand a chance.

Next the Boa sisters vs their opponents. Cloner thought an army would help him but Hancock's slave arrow was touo much for his army. And her other abilities were too much for his Hierro to withstand.

I thought it was funny how Carolyn didn't like that Marigold turned into a snake but in the end Marigold's poison got her good. I liked how tactical Marigold was being. She's got the physical force but I liked it when characters have brain and brawn.

I was surprised that Roka could use the techniques of other people but not even using a weaker Mugetsu was able to help her. Nice showing how badass all three Boa sisters are. Hancock deserved her title as a warlord after all.

But...there's still a way to go for the heroes. I wonder how much more they'll have to go through to end this threat. Plus I wonder how the fight between Naruto and Arturo is gonna go. Along with the fight between Byakuya and Kirro.
3/6 c3 2Hewhoknows12
The Fights were pretty the song added was not bad either
3/5 c3 8Bladed Raptor
I will admit, each of the battles were entertaining to watch and I see that you managed to put your heart and soul within each one of them. I give you an A for your effort in giving your readers wonderful match ups for them to enjoy and I have to say the endings to each one were both interesting as well. You did not disappoint in giving everyone what they desired to see. However, what I will get on you about is...the grammar like always. I understand you hate it whenever I say this but it's seriously an issue which me and probably many others will see. I understand your excited to get a chapter done and want to post it whenever you finish it but...please try and give it a last look before posting it to see if everything is correct and not flawed. Sure you can have small flaws every now and then I will understand that however this chapter is 13,000 words long as you've told me. At least take the time and look over it just so there's no mistakes if anything. It takes away from the amazing writing you spent so long to do and I'm sure your readers will find it annoying.

Other than that the chapter was decent I will admit and I did find it enjoyable and such. So keep up the good work.
3/5 c3 Lewis
REALLY GREAT CHAPTER!
Lance vs Sasuke was very good, and very well thought out, love how you brought up the "losing an arm" call back.

Hope things turn around for you mater, but keep up the good work with your story!
11/7/2019 c2 Bladed Raptor
So things are now on their way...interesting. As much as I want to talk about the entire chapter and tell you how I truly feel, I'll only stick with the fights that you created as to no...hurt your feelings. Now, I'm honestly and completely happy and interested with all of the upcoming fights.

Sasuke vs Lance, Honestly I really didn't think Lance would be fighting Sasuke out of all people. This fight will probably be quick if I'm honest given that Sasuke has multiple advantages over Skullak. However if you do have plans for Lance I'll keep an open mind and wait to see how the outcome will turn out.

So...Fran has two opponents as he will be fighting Lyon Vastia and Lamia Scale. It interesting to know that Dordoni's greatest admirer/fan will be up against two people which will be interesting if I'm honest with you. How you'll be able to write this as well as implement each of their skills will be a sight to behold.

Next up, Gray vs Rey wasn't much of a surprise. I figured you would have them fight each other but it will be interesting to see how an Cryo user will deal with a Hydro user so there's that. One has an advantage over the other but...I don't know who will come out on top. It can be anyone's came here so hopefully the fight will be deeply interesting.

So...next we have Leo Vega vs Erza Scarlett. Again not really a surprise but I am deeply curious how the assassin will do against a warrior such as Scarlett. The battle will be intense and the two are capable warriors but...I would say Leo may be slightly outmatched due to Erza's powers and abilities. However...Leo is also prepared for anything and is a lethal assassin and a formidable warrior himself. It will be an interesting battle when your readers see it.

Next we have the Tachibana Sister's versus Wendy but knowing this Carla will come in and assist her comrade in battle. Honestly...I don't know how this battle will go given that Wendy was able to take on Baraggan due to her abilities. If she's able to defeat the so called 'King of Hueco Mundo' then she should have an easy time against the twins but...given that Yin and Yang are formidable Arrancar's and their coordination is something that shouldn't be given a blind eye. I'm guessing somewhere along the battle Carla will step in and the two will be able to deal with the Arrancar twin but...only assuming.

Now with the spirit monsters...honestly...I'll explain that in the Pm's but just know I'm interested to see how this battle will go and hopefully will wait to see how this will go.

Durge vs. Shinji...hmm, I can honestly say that Shinji has this in the bag. Durge in my honest opinion is outclassed in this situation. Even with his bounty hunter skills Shinji's abilities can turn the tide on the battle as well as his hollowfication. However...you may have something surprising so...I'll keep an open mind about this.

Now...Dropkick, Shatter and Blitzwing vs. Kidd, Killer, Sai, Boo, Shikamaru and Kitsuchi. Honestly I'm interested to see how this will go. Each of the humans are against three antagonistic Cybertronians. I'll keep an open mind about this one because I don't know who will come out on top.

Arturo vs Naruto will be incredibly interesting as one of the acts fights off against the first and strongest Arrancar in ever existence. Though Naruto isn't a pushover himself so it will be an interesting fight when I see how you portray this battle.

Darui vs Patros. Hmmmm, Honestly...I'm interested to see how this will go but then again this is Patros we're talking about and he did lose to Renji. So...I honestly don't know how this will go.

Now with Aldegor and Kurotsuchi and I'm curious how this will go but then again I'm also having false hope that the Arrancar will come on top of this one as well. Though this will be an interesting battle if you ask me so...I'll leave my thought aside on this fight and see how you'll handle it.

Brook vs Menis. Now obvious Brook wins by default given his Devil Fruit Powers. Even if Menis is an Arrancar I honestly don't see how he can win. Even with his Resurreccion. So...I'll leave it to how you'll do it an be interested on how it'll go.

Now...Cloner, Carolyn, and Roka Vs. The Gorgon Sisters Hancock, Sandersonia, and Marigold. Honestly this match up can prove to be interesting. Cloner vs Hancock will be a sight given that cloner has the advantage, for now, and isn't really affected by her powers that much. So to see how the Pirate will handle the Arrancar will be interesting. Carolyn vs Marigold will be a treat, a battle to see who's beautiful will be interesting as well as show us who among the two is stronger so I can't wait, Now Sandersonia and Roka will also be interesting due to Roka's abilities to copy her opponents techniques but...Sandersonia has her outmatched in both abilities and strength. So i'm curious how you'll handle this match.

Now we have the main battle.

Arturo vs Naruto was a fight that I was highly expecting due to Arturo's nature and his need to fight one of the primary protagonists in this battle and story. Honestly the fight can go either way due to Naruto's Jinchuriki powers and the fact that he has the Ninetails on his side but Arturo being the strongest Arrancar there is...in his words...it will be a sight to see when we reach that part

Lastly we have Kiiro vs Byakuya...I'll be honest. I didn't actually see this coming but it's very interesting to see how the fight will commence between the Captain and Privaron. A battle between skills and two level-headed individuals if you ask me.(However, Gonna have to talk to you about the interaction that they had however because...it didn't sit right with me.)

Though...as of now the chapter is excellent and well thought. The cannonfodder is now out of the way so the main battles can begin so there's that. Only issue I had was the slight grammer errors but...other than that it's interesting so...I'll await for your next chapter.
6/11/2019 c2 23Bigby the Big Bad Wolf
Well already the war is under way.

Interesting how the machines and more "mundane" fighters like Mobile Suit pilots,were all just cannon fodder. I guess they were meant to either wear the Alliance down or just gauge how strong they were before the real fighters showed up. Looks like the real battles are about to cause complete and utter destruction. I would be surprised if these fights don't destroy the world due to power unleashed by the combatants.

Just have to wait and see what happens.
6/9/2019 c2 Jazzlover20
Hey man, good to see more chapters again. Love the match ups, interested to see how these goes along, even more I was impressed you were able to do match ups with the confirmed members of the 4th and 5th fleet so far.

Looking forward to see more!
6/9/2019 c2 2Hewhoknows12
Not bad chapter so far slight mistake Gray is in the 3rd Fleet but all and all good chapter so far. I like you stated it off and paired most of the fights
6/8/2019 c2 Akin2018
I am glad you are continuing this story, I did read the first story but I did not get far.
Anyway, hope you feel better later, will look through the other stories again signed Akin2018. :)
10/21/2018 c1 Jazzlover20
Looking like another good one dark, I'm looking forward to see more!

I love the yu gi oh monster additions to your stories brings a lot more hype.
10/20/2018 c1 23Bigby the Big Bad Wolf
Quite the buildup. So many characters. I'm gonna need a guide book orvskmetging to figure out who they all are.

Still the way the characters all gather up, it's obvioys that somwthing big is bound to happen and when it does, it's gonna be crazy. Heck it already is crazy: So many characters from so many different worlds colliding together. It's gonna be one hell of a time. Possibly literally.
10/18/2018 c1 2Hewhoknows12
It not introduction, not a fan of the whole stronger then Konton thing because ND said he was strongest along with brother. Just reminder if you are to do a spin-off keep to as close to the original story as possible. But still pretty good.
10/17/2018 c1 8Bladed Raptor
My my, so the plan slowly unfolds and we’re greeted with a lot of new and familiar faces. More importantly I can’t wait to see how things will unfold, revenge is in order, the battle between the Alliance and coalition will soon begin, the shadows hunger and they will consume all. To be perfectly honest I enjoyed this beginning though I now have to wait but patience is key and it makes stories better. You’ve done a fabulous job Dark and I will tell you more in our chats, for now you have my support like always so please don’t feel sad or down, those who enjoy your stories are here for you.
10/17/2018 c1 Akin2018
This is making of another good story, especially this new side story of five world wars. So basically our heroes from Fairy, Bleach, Naruto, One piece are going to be flying mobile suits, if so go for it keep it up with the updates Signed Akin2018. :)

You are an awesome author don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service