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4/8 c10 19The Rhombus
First, I want to congratulate you on giving one of the most accurate depictions of young romance involving an awkward male I have ever seen. I found myself nodding with a silly grin on my face as, even as Petrie's conscious mind shuts down, his unconscious thoughts are basically writing a dissertation for us. :p Though it is often said that in writing one should "show, not tell" in this case the use of extensive exposition from Petrie's mind was entirely justified. Not only does it capture his confused thoughts during the moment, but it accurate depicts the simultaneous over-thinking and under-thinking that comes with such situations.

Ducky's move here, and her teasing, also shows growth on her part from the swimmer that we saw in the films. She is beginning to grow into her own and is not beyond manipulating events to her advantage, which, considering the alternative is Ferris, quite frankly I don't blame her. But after the initial reactions, it was this line that hit hard:

" While Petrie tended to break down into a panic whenever things went wrong for him—which was very often—Ferris on the other hand apparently had the belief that events would always accommodate him and thus seemed to take it a lot harder than Petrie."

This is a good summary of the saying that pessimists are often, ironically, less depressed that optimists. If you plan for the worst and hope for the best then you will not be caught with surprise when things go poorly, and you will be pleasantly surprised when things go well. For the boastful optimist, however, life is often an assault on one's expectations as life can be cruel. This might very well be the first time that Petrie has encountered his mindset actually being an advantage in his perspective.

And then things get even more awkward when people begin to mention his flyer self while "Paddy" is still present. I do think this is a major moment where Petrie has had the reality of his situation fully brought to his attention. Could he stay as Paddy and try to pursue something with Ducky... or would he try to get back to being a flyer and the life that entailed?

I quite like the developments in this chapter and your continued excellent depiction of Petrie and Ducky's personalities. It will be quite interesting to see what develops from here - with a former flyer who now has even more on his mind, a humbled swimmer, and events behind the scenes that I am sure Petrie cannot really begin to comprehend.
4/2 c10 8Anagnos
Here we begin the next phase of the story and we start the chapter with not so surprising outcome of Ducky’s confession in the previous chapter that literally left the everyone else agape. Petrie’s reaction to being kissed by his best friend could’ve potentially evoked a number of reactions from Petrie, but instead his reaction was to completely freeze on the spot. This is quite interesting as the two have shared genuine, heartfelt moments with each other since their initial meeting, and this one simple act was enough to reduce the persistent former flyer to a babbling mess.

''It was just how Ducky was. Her affectionate traits were pretty much part and parcel of his swimmer friend’s jovial and kind-hearted personality. They were practically synonymous with Ducky, almost as much as her wide smile and her signature affirmation.''

Honestly, I have never seen such inclusive viewpoint on the swimmer before, so this was definitely a neat discovery. You have managed to do something stellar in few short sentences and down to the letter as well. The way you describe how the characters feel is extraordinary work. Ducky is not one to make idle gestures, especially towards her friends, so her affection to Paddy seems genuine enough.

The anticipated reaction from Ferris did not disappoint, as the character has been sort of easy to read from the outset. The slow deliver was worth the time, and the end result is a broken swimmer with no hope left to win over the female he desires. From the get-go, Ferris did not really have a chance with the jocular swimmer, hence the shock part being nonexistent. It was interesting for you to show what Petrie would have done in his position and it showed that the lack of ignorance on Petrie’s part likely contributed to his triumph. However, the way you wrote this scene roused some sympathy for the swimmer once his frame of mind seemed to pop.

We have seen Petrie’s side of things in light of these new developments, but we still need Ducky’s version in the next part to get the big picture as to what we can expect to happen next. Judging by her attitude throughout the chapter, her reaction will not be hard to figure out. Character development chapters are always useful to expand the characters themselves and not have them remain insensible and blank. For that, I will give you the thumbs up for not disappointing in delivery.
3/31 c10 26Keijo6
I got the feeling that this chapter was a watershed moment in many ways. Ducky’s sudden overtures towards Petrie were certainly an important development but it also started something deeper in my view. Not only has this impossible romance started abruptly but at the same time, his siblings’ coldness towards him has likely started to shift Petrie’s view about his place in the world. Finally, Ferris’ character seems to be taking an interesting turn.

The first part of this chapter was a rather sweet one as Ducky’s kiss probably let out many buried feelings within Petrie’s heart. He can finally dare to dream about actual love with Ducky and his inability to process that was very believable. He completely shut down mentally which is something very Petrie-like. It’ll be interesting to see whether Ducky will be able to put the pieces together before the obligatory confession sometime in the future.

This development, coupled with his disappointment at his siblings, very likely starts his mental change. Would he really turn back Ducky’s love only to be together with his siblings? I think the answer is more than clear and that’s why I think this chapter is probably the most important one after the transformation. This could really be the beginning of the end for Petrie the flyer. But I’m sure there’s still many surprises to come in that regard.

As for Ferris, it was great to see him resigning to his fate instead of trying to attack either Ducky or Petrie. It’s now apparent that he’s just a spoiled brat who is used to getting everything he wants simply due to being the herd elder’s son instead of an actually evil guy. That change should bode well for him in the future though there is a chance he might resort to violence as well.

I quite liked this chapter’s developments and how you handled them. The change within Petrie was handled rather subtly and it was very consistent with his personality. Ducky is still oblivious to the reality but I’m sure we’ll get some focus on her perspective soon enough. Interestingly, with the conclusion of the encounter with Ferris, this story is free to take any direction from now on. Which one it will be remains to be seen.
11/24/2019 c9 19The Rhombus
Alright, first of all, Ducky's mother having the "buzzers and the flyers" conversation with her eldest clutch is quite possibly the most hilarious scene that I have yet encountered in an LBT fanfic. XD The image of them reacting to this news and to Shoal's affirmation of what swimmers are famous for is one that you expertly showcase. The humor implicit in some of the males already living up to her claims and Ducky's horror at the mentioning of spiketail mating rituals was so palpable that I am sure my neighbors in my apartment unit probably heard me cackling like a maniac. As was the idea of Topps basically telling the swimmers to slow down on the mating, lest they be overran by hadrosaurs. This scene struck a good balance in introducing the serious truth of what Jovi was telling Ducky, while at the same time adding some much needed levity to the whole affair.

This prelude presents additional context for the rescue of Petrie quite nicely, while also not making the flow of the story confusing in any way. Better still this allows us to see the whole affair from Ducky's eyes.

And oh boy does the aftermath of the rescue really shift the story forward. From Jovi being confronted for his "cowardice", Petrie being called out for his inability to swim against a strong current, and Ferris finally being called out for his jealously by Ducky, a lot has been revealed without the big detail (Petrie being Paddy) being exposed. Petrie's concerns and thought patterns are well conveyed here and very believable as he is forced to basically witness the confusing spectacle taking place before him. Simultaneously he is the center of attention and merely a prop. Which is an excellent depiction of his overall situation thus far, now that I think about it. I also think that we can all relate to Petrie mentally shutting down as Ducky kisses him here. Now you are really in the middle of it, Paddy!

This was an excellent chapter! :) I look forward to seeing how things develop from here in the aftermath of the kiss seen throughout the valley...
11/21/2019 c9 26Keijo6
There were several rather interesting scenes here and I quite liked the focus on Ducky here. It’s clear that she’s becoming a key character in this story and she deserves more context on her current mindset. I liked her trying to find good features about Ferris even if they are most likely misplaced at this point. The ending might have been a bit rushed but it wasn’t anything serious.

The first scene with Ducky and Jovi was well written and the way Ducky tried to reason with the other swimmer worked well. I was a bit taken aback by Jovi’s rather unfriendly antics even if it seems rather clear that the reason for that was his loathing for Ferris rather than Ducky. In a way, it emphasized Ferris’ unpopularity rather well and it also gave us a brief glimpse to the views of the members of the swimmer herd.

As for the flashback, my opinions are a bit torn about it. It really was rather well-written and atmospheric but by now, I’ve seen so many similar scenes in other fics that it didn’t feel really fresh. That sequence did give some hints about the upcoming romance but I couldn’t help but feel that the scene wasn’t really that necessary.

However, the ending was really intriguing. The many motives and opportunities for character development are more than apparent even if things won’t necessarily go down the path I’d most wish them to go. On one hand, it seems that Ferris truly believes that he’s becoming the ideal leader and in a way, that was nice to see. However, Ducky’s speech really rattled his character to the core and while I’d like to believe that he could learn from this setback but it seems likely he won’t back down easily. That being said, Ducky’s kiss did seem a bit sudden considering that she and “Paddy” just met. I know she did it also to prove a point but still…

Overall, the future of Ducky and Petrie’s plot is open and the threat of retaliation still hangs heavily upon them. I just hope Ferris becomes a real character instead of a generic villain and I see promise for more and better drama if you go down that route. But the current situation is a really good one and the tension hangs heavily in the air. This story seems to be improving with every new chapter.
11/21/2019 c9 8Anagnos
We start off the chapter with a conversation between Ducky and Jovi in relation to Ferris and his personality. It later turned into a discussion of a potential match between Ducky and the aforementioned swimmer. Her refusal to accept such a thing was pretty much to be expected as the female swimmer doesn’t really hold a high opinion of the rather arrogant male, which in turn manages to light something in Jovi as he begins to interrogate her rather forcefully. His anticipated sentiment that Ducky does perchance feel something other than contempt towards Ferris are later revealed to be somewhat true, but like previously said, she would rather not take this path.

This sequence gives the reader a brief chance of respite for what is to come later on, and also compared to the previous chapter where the narrative was left at a rather expected cliffhanger, provides that very same point in same likelihood. If there was one nitpick that I would have to bring out, it’s that Ducky’s thoughts on the matter were done a bit sloppily, as it was not clear to me at first we were witnessing her feelings. I would have put her dialogue in italic to avoid confusion in readers.

Ducky’s recollection of her past with the nice little outlook into the life of the swimmer family was a lovely addition and deserves recognition when it comes to their almost unique lifestyle in comparison to other species. It also provided some very interesting information connected to current developments in the story, which I throughoutly liked. In turn, it became rather hilarious when it was revealed that swimmer children are considered lucky if they make it past the age of 10, but with Ducky’s tendency to run away from the valley with her friends, this must be a total turnaround of set expectation on young swimmers.

The name ’’Delta,’’ doesn’t do much justice in the narrative as that was presumably taken from Jurassic World, and frankly speaking does not sound very LBT-ish in general. The stereotypical presumption that all swimmers do in their life is mate and have children until the day they die—while technically true—was another rather funny verbal in the sequence that refers them as such without actually saying it out loud.

Let it be admitted, that it was surprising the author decided to show the events from the previous chapter in an entirely different manner in someone else’s perspective, and the person turned out to be none other than Ducky herself. This provided a nice outlook into what really happened when the sequence with Petrie ended and another one started, but this time it is brought out in more detailed manner, and for that, the author has my gratitude. Petrie’s first assumption that it was indeed Jovi that saved him from the river, was mostly interpreted as a way to fool others by myself so as not to incite the wrath of Ferris to fall upon the turned swimmer so early on.

Ducky’s feelings for Petrie in this regard give a clear idea to whom she will ultimately give her support to instead of Ferris as he so desperately hopes for. Her readiness to defend Petrie, even though she doesn’t know his true identity, is a testimony of her carefree personality and determination to protect and cherish those whom she considers her most dearest friends.

Another very interesting sequence that will be sure to give the reader a lot to ponder on once the chapter is concluded, is when we transition back to the present moment at the very end. First of all, I was very much taken by surprise that Ferris wasn’t blaming Petrie at the end of the last chapter, but Jovi instead for reasons that were rather peculiar, to say the least. Although I can understand the principle behind Ferris’ outburst, it wasn’t likely that the timid swimmer would be much of use to anyone for his very personality in the first place. When Ducky was more than willing to jump into the river, he stood by and watched.

This cannot exactly be blamed on him alone, as many factors within the plot proved to complicate things, and Petrie’s inability to swim was the major part in that regard. What makes this part so interesting, is that we finally get to witness how their herd dynamic works in practice and in detail—newcomers in the herd are given a simple test to prove themselves to be worthy in the herd. Should they fail, the implications are that they don’t fit in with the herd. Indeed, throughout the sequence, we are presented with a rather scared swimmer that evidently does not do well while under pressure from ’’ higher-ups’’.

It really does start to put things into perspective when Ducky’s determination continues to grow when she doesn’t hesitate to defend Petrie from everyone else’s accusations, although they may not even be considered that since no one exactly used anything threatening against him, it still speaks volumes about her characterization. The ending of the chapter on the other hand… that will be something very interesting to see transpire once the implications of what has happened are revealed to us in full detail—I certainly do not see Ferris happy about that development at all and would he even be willing to exact some form of retribution? Unlikely, but as it was revealed in the latter parts, he does not take no for an answer and I fear what might happen to Petrie and even Ducky next time.

One thing is certain, they will no doubt be united in a common interest, but the pinnacle of this moment was when I actually started to actually stand against Ducky and her intentions. That right there is a very clear message on how superbly the author manages to convey that particular message to expect for the unexpected. A very intriguing chapter filled with interesting developments that’ll be sure to cause me to take a few days to consider them in peace. Very splendid job, Owls!
11/19/2019 c9 35DiddyKF1
This chapter certainly gives us a good insight into Ducky's opinions of Ferris. Deep down, she really can't stand him, but, as has always been the case, she doesn't like to show hostility towards anyone. However, as Jovi pointed out, there has to be a first.

The flashback of Ducky's tenth hatchday was a cute and sweet read. Shoal was very nicely portrayed as such a loving motherly figure to her children, and I couldn't help but smile throughout that scene.

And then we have "Paddy's" looming predicament with this ... other swimmer that continues to make my blood boil, and I see that I'm not the only one who feels that way about him. It was very satisfying to see Ducky put all the blame on Ferris for his jealousy and alleged attempt to have Petrie killed, even despite them all being oblivious to Paddy's true identity ...

... and then, that magic moment ... that could change everything for the better ... or worse? That last move by Ducky just about caught me off guard. Even if she has no idea she has actually just kissed Petrie, I can sense that this story is about to take a major turn now that the roses have blossomed, or at least have started to. The way I see it, it may still be one-sided right now, but time will tell when Petrie begins to have similar feelings.

I suppose you were right in saying that I'd like this chapter! Ducky's open disdain towards Ferris and kissing "another Swimmer" right in front of him in clear defiance of his desires was the icing on the cake! I can't wait to see the look on Ferris' face in the next chapter!
11/19/2019 c9 Guest
In the next chapter will Ducky introduce "Paddy" (Petrie) to her friends? And by the way it was cute and beautiful when Ducky chose "Paddy" and kisses him.
11/11/2019 c8 26Keijo6
Petrie’s situation is indeed becoming an impossibly difficult one and one can’t help but feel the walls closing in around him. You’ve made a terrific job in portraying how he’s feeling about all of this and in many ways, that is my favorite thing in this fic right now. I’ve seldom felt one storyline to be as captivating as Petrie’s right now but I hope it won’t decrease the reader’s interest in the larger story.

What I mean by that is that in this chapter, the conversation between Pterano and Cirrus, while enjoyable, didn’t feel as interesting as the events in the Valley. Now, I’m sure that will change in time and that’s most likely just a testament to the greatness of what you’re doing but right now. Judging by what we’ve seen thus far, I’m very interested to see the larger plot you’re building but right now, I find the “main” plot more exciting.

As for the rest of the Gang, it’s clear that they’re getting worried and that hardly makes things better for Petrie’s efforts to remain unknown. That’s just another of the many disasters that are happening to him right now but even then, I can’t help but feel sorry for his friends as well. It’s very unlikely Petrie to disappear like that and the longer his absence goes on, the more desperate and worried they become. In this scene, I was a bit bothered by Gryphon’s name as it isn’t too LBT-like, imo.

As for the ending, it just continues to build pressure on Petrie. I had hoped to see Ferris’ reaction already in this chapter but even then, I’m sure it will be a scene worth waiting for. I have no idea how Petrie is going to survive that encounter but I’m sure that both he and Ducky will have a hard time dealing with what is to come. Stellar job again, Owls!
11/4/2019 c8 19The Rhombus
Now this chapter certainly starts off with high drama. It goes straight into Petrie’s struggle to stay alive (and his mental anguish) as the waves threaten to overtake him and to make all of his plans be for naught. This provides us a good insight into his motivations, his thoughts, and his misgivings as he sees the consequences of his actions in very stark terms. We also get to see his classic kind nature as he thinks about others during his time of crisis even as life threatens to leave him… and then it does appear to leave him…

I would complain about cliffhangers but I have absolutely no room to talk in that regard. :p

The shift to Pterano is an interesting one as we get to see how he is dealing with his exile. He does appear to be reformed, or at least making good efforts in that regard, though the concern for his reputation is still there. I sense that this is exactly what the other flyer is attempting to play into as he claims that ‘everyone’ knows about the deal he made with the other flyer. Though Pterano declined that offer I sense that he might feel the need to involve himself simply to salvage the situation with the rumors. If so it will be another successful stirring of the pot by Cirrus.

The exchange between the gang and the flyers was great as it showed us the concerns of the other siblings about Petrie’s unexpected departure while at the same time presenting the classic exchanges of the gang. The explanation that flyers try to handle things internally first is a very believable one, and it provides a good explanation of what has been going on in the background while Petrie has been attempting to live as Paddy.

...and then we get to Petrie’s unexpected reprieve. For both him and us, there is a lot to take in during this scene. Ducky comparing Paddy to Cera (which no doubt would horrify Cera as much as it does Petrie :p ), Petrie witnessing his brother berate himself instead of Petrie, and the realization that he now has an audience as his entire backstory is due to come crashing down. This is a nice way to end the chapter: with just as much tension as it began.

This was quite the wonderful chapter that has given us readers a lot to consider and ponder upon. :) The banter between the gang, between Pterano and Cirrus, and Ducky’s comments all felt in-character and this benefited the narrative greatly. I look forward to seeing how Petrie gets out of his current predicament.
10/27/2019 c8 8Anagnos
To say that this chapter was a tremendous leap in advancement would be a massive understatement indeed. It was most definitely very engaging one, and with the newest installment the plot begins to move forward ever so slowly. Overall, the introduction of various plot points and the structure of the chapter began rather reasonably, and this motion was carried out throughout the entire chapter. Which in itself is already flawless work from the author.

I think that it was pretty much expected that Petrie would have tremendous trouble with being able to withstand the toughness of the race, and seeing him struggle as much as he did was extraordinarily burdensome to witness happen. In relation to his transition from a flyer to a swimmer, it would have been a miracle indeed if he had somehow managed to handle the challenge like Ferris. What I liked most about this sequence was how smoothly it had been done. Petrie’s internal struggles over the issues he is currently facing were elegantly added into the narrative.

One of the focal points of this chapter was undeniably Pterano’s encounter with the loquacious but proportionately amicable flyer named Cirrus produced some rather succulent developments. All things considered, it was rather whimsical to some extent to see Pterano so persistently try to acquire a chance to explain things on his part to the unheedful flyer. This is a rather monumental transition of him being the listener for once instead of spewing grandeurs of himself and his accomplishments that we got to see in the film. The rumors about Pterano’s equivocal aspiration to obtain the stone for himself, and his refusal to succumb to temptation really speak volumes of his character.

Meanwhile, Cera and Littlefoot focus effort’s to uncover Petrie’s location by searching all over the Great Valley for him yield inadequate results. Their unawareness of Petrie’s change averts the probability of them figuring out his precise habitat and welfare. Naturally, this may only be a temporary setback if they ever discover what really happened to Petrie on that fateful night, but the plausible backlash they would have to withstand will be a fascinating development to follow. This proportion also gave us a brief viewpoint on Petrie’s relationship with his siblings. It is indeed most disturbing that his own brothers and sisters dislike him so much that they would be more than willing to weasel out of the search outright. This instance, might discourage Petrie to eventually reveal himself, but that remains to be seen. The comforting fact here is that Gryphon’s dedication to find Petrie demonstrates deep devotion to the cause.

Another concern that was to be expected was Ferris’ predictable triumph over Petrie. However, the preparedness on his part to contribute to aid Petrie away from harm's way was an unpredicted development that many would have dismissed without a doubt, and I admit that I was one of those people myself. He may perchance possess some yet inconspicuous qualities that will be examined later on. Spontaneous fact in the later sequence was that Ducky turned out to be the one who would rescue Petrie from his almost certain demise. The interlocution these two shared together was heartwarming to have an outlook on and not once did I notice them diverge from their usual characterization. The prospective discussion that will take place in the next chapter will be prolonged and restrictive as Petrie cannot reveal all of the details to the group, therefore, these issues will be quite intractable.

I enjoyed this installment tremendously. Everything about the chapter was flawless from the start to the very end that will no doubt leave a reader longing for more. I will be most eager to see what will happen in the next chapter. Well done, Owls.
10/23/2019 c7 3lionkingfactsguy3
It's kind of funny imagining Petrie as a swimmer. He'd have his eyes and his beak might look a little more pointed. Nevertheless I am enjoying this story a lot. Looking forward to more.
9/28/2019 c7 Guest
Are Donnie and Terra gonna be in this story? They're Petrie's mean and careless siblings created by an LBT fanfiction author DiddyKf1.
9/22/2019 c7 19The Rhombus
Now this was certainly an engaging chapter! The organization of the chapter, beginning with elaboration on the flyer plot before returning the focus back onto the former flyer and his predicament, was a well-chosen one that allowed the tension to build to an intense crescendo. Likewise the combination of light humor (as seen in this ironic passage: " At this rate, it looked like he would just have to wing it"), Petrie's awkwardness, and the interlocking plots of the characters made for a very enjoyable read.

The initial focus on the flyer subplot revealed several things that had, until this chapter, not been known to us. Namely, news of the Stone of Great Change has been revealed to the Mysterious Beyond and word of it has been spreading from flyer to flyer. Like Anagnos has mentioned in their review, this opens up many interesting possibilities for conflict as multiple groups may try to seek out this stone and its powers. Then, of course, we have Zalus and his agenda. So even while Petrie has his struggles this overarching drama in the skies will be something to watch closely.

Which brings us to our dear Paddy...

I do like how Petrie actually did a good job in planning out his options and trying to choose the option that would best fulfill his objectives. I must admit that the idea of him throwing the race caught me by surprise. Likewise, his acting skills were well-served to take on the faux arrogance as would be expected of a swimmer in his situation that has accepted a challenge. Unfortunately, however, his planning did not anticipate the ferocity of the waters... and now Paddy is in for the swim of his life quite literally.

I enjoyed this chapter immensely. :) It's pacing was spot on, the tension was well-crafted into a slow build, and the cliff-hanger left me yearning for the next chapter. I eagerly look forward to the next installment.
9/18/2019 c7 26Keijo6
I’ll start by saying that I liked this chapter tremendously. Not only did it show that there really is a larger story around the events that we’re witnessing but it also had some of the most powerful scenes we’ve yet seen in this fic. The depth with which you delved into Petrie’s emotions and thoughts was absolutely amazing and I’d even go far enough to say that this chapter and the promise of what follows made me more exited for this story as a whole.

The first scene is a curious one as thus far, we’ve been lead to believe that Vekal has been working alone. However, now we’re being given the picture that there is a larger organization behind the scenes manipulating the world with these mysterious stones. Whatever their aim is, the fact that Vekal has been given his high position hardly tells anything positive about this group.

As for the main part of this chapter, I couldn’t help but love it. Petrie’s justified fears about what was happening were simply amazingly written and what really stood out was just how naturally Ducky acted towards her “new” friend while comforting him in his hour need. The way Petrie found some relief in her presence was very heartwarming but simultaneously sad as it would be so very easy for Petrie to just reveal his identity and the fact that he’s forced to head towards a certain defeat while staying a stranger to everyone around him is really depressing.

The race itself was just as awkward as you’d expect. The way you presented Petrie’s happiness at his initial success was very sweet but soon enough, reality took hold. I dread to see just how the others will react to Petrie’s revelation about being unable to swim as after that moment, Ducky might just start to really wondering about “Paddy’s” real identity. At first, I thought of complaining about the slow advancement of this chapter but as I reached the end, I realized there wasn’t one futile word in this chapter. If there’s one thing I’d like to point out is that I hope Ferris will get some nuances to his character instead of just being the bad guy with no redeeming qualities.

As I said, this was a great chapter, mostly because of how you managed to fuse the situation’s horror, awkwardness and accidental warmth together. Even better was the suspense you built for the coming chapters as Petrie’s life just keeps on getting more and more difficult. Awesome job, Owls!
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