for The Melancholia Experiment4/22/2019 c3 
53PainX65
Yo wtf! Dropping ME like this haphazardly.
It's Elvi! The Vile! The Evil! The Levi! The Live! Our Naval Architect Protag. Inb4 she's vile and evil, but she'll live. Jokes aside, she's very fashionable. Fashionable just like her creator. She better catwalk everywhere! I'll riot. Number 13, that ain't good. Let's hope that unlucky number proves lucky (gotta find that number 7).
After a quick search of the room and bathroom, we get to see our next ultimate Casper, a fitting name for a Paranormal Investigator, as Elvi falls to the floor as her fashion was unable to save her from the dreaded door. Casper seems to be a shy boy. Oooo, he can speak to ghosts? Interesting, very very interesting. Let's see if his ability to talk with his ghost friends will come in handy in the coming trials and experiments if that's true. Ey, seems Elvi likes them spooky ghosts.
Now we move onto a Tinker Fairy? Can't really say I knew what that was, asides from the fairy bit, but hey, now I know. I be out here learning and shit. Unique though. Seems that Bedelia fits the magical girl role and vibe. She's a very upbeat one at that, a little childish. So Bedelia feel for the "stranger danger" and got into their car, well, as least we know what she does with the orphanage. Hmm, she does things for "children that need help", oh boy, I can see a lot of ways that can go wrong for Bedelia.
Another door, another person. Freerunning Caezar. Hey, hallway with slicing lasers, I have no idea if that's an intentional reference or not, but I like me some Resident Evil or in this case, Resident Elvi. Caezar and Elvi's clash could play again in the future, especially when things like the experiments or trials come around. Off she goes, off to go greet another door (the doors just love her fashion.)
We get to see Juliette. Juliette, Juliette, Juliette, where are thou, Juliette. With Elvi going over thoughts on different nationalities and implications, I'm very curious to see if there's any clash because of that. So I guess I'll keep a possible eye open for that. The calligrapher trying to find her Romeo, knowing that she's apart of a trio...let's just say I'm gonna feel bad/sad, but we'll get to that at a later date, but for now, hey roommates! And onto the last person for the chapter to show up.
Nameera, Ultimate Devote. Interesting talent and what a cool name! D: sold to the Experiment? Wow. Poor Nameera, Oof indeed. Believes in the Light, and you know what? I'm rooting for you Nameera. If her father sold her into the experiment, I'll buy her out. Seriously though, I like Nameera a lot, also it seems that Elvi's face is a door magnet.
Yeah, so that opening bit was from when the chapter first came out months ago, ain't changing it. I find it funny now. Anyways, we got to see six people, with plenty more to go for this experiment. Can't wait for the experiment to begin, well I can, but you know. Also damn, what a cliffhanger. What a tease. Looking forward to seeing Elvi meet some more doors.
53PainX65Yo wtf! Dropping ME like this haphazardly.
It's Elvi! The Vile! The Evil! The Levi! The Live! Our Naval Architect Protag. Inb4 she's vile and evil, but she'll live. Jokes aside, she's very fashionable. Fashionable just like her creator. She better catwalk everywhere! I'll riot. Number 13, that ain't good. Let's hope that unlucky number proves lucky (gotta find that number 7).
After a quick search of the room and bathroom, we get to see our next ultimate Casper, a fitting name for a Paranormal Investigator, as Elvi falls to the floor as her fashion was unable to save her from the dreaded door. Casper seems to be a shy boy. Oooo, he can speak to ghosts? Interesting, very very interesting. Let's see if his ability to talk with his ghost friends will come in handy in the coming trials and experiments if that's true. Ey, seems Elvi likes them spooky ghosts.
Now we move onto a Tinker Fairy? Can't really say I knew what that was, asides from the fairy bit, but hey, now I know. I be out here learning and shit. Unique though. Seems that Bedelia fits the magical girl role and vibe. She's a very upbeat one at that, a little childish. So Bedelia feel for the "stranger danger" and got into their car, well, as least we know what she does with the orphanage. Hmm, she does things for "children that need help", oh boy, I can see a lot of ways that can go wrong for Bedelia.
Another door, another person. Freerunning Caezar. Hey, hallway with slicing lasers, I have no idea if that's an intentional reference or not, but I like me some Resident Evil or in this case, Resident Elvi. Caezar and Elvi's clash could play again in the future, especially when things like the experiments or trials come around. Off she goes, off to go greet another door (the doors just love her fashion.)
We get to see Juliette. Juliette, Juliette, Juliette, where are thou, Juliette. With Elvi going over thoughts on different nationalities and implications, I'm very curious to see if there's any clash because of that. So I guess I'll keep a possible eye open for that. The calligrapher trying to find her Romeo, knowing that she's apart of a trio...let's just say I'm gonna feel bad/sad, but we'll get to that at a later date, but for now, hey roommates! And onto the last person for the chapter to show up.
Nameera, Ultimate Devote. Interesting talent and what a cool name! D: sold to the Experiment? Wow. Poor Nameera, Oof indeed. Believes in the Light, and you know what? I'm rooting for you Nameera. If her father sold her into the experiment, I'll buy her out. Seriously though, I like Nameera a lot, also it seems that Elvi's face is a door magnet.
Yeah, so that opening bit was from when the chapter first came out months ago, ain't changing it. I find it funny now. Anyways, we got to see six people, with plenty more to go for this experiment. Can't wait for the experiment to begin, well I can, but you know. Also damn, what a cliffhanger. What a tease. Looking forward to seeing Elvi meet some more doors.
1/12/2019 c3 2KISL
Oo update!
I can see what you mean about the sheer whiteness of the place haha. Gives a clinical vibe, impersonal, yet the dorm rooms seem accommodating. The doors being kinda hidden within the walls explains why Elvi keeps bumping into them, haha (that’s totally a meme now—maybe it is? I gotta check Discord)
I like Elvi so far, she’s got sass and an entertaining way of seeing things. The line “she might be stuck in a very strange place… but at least she looked good” was really funny. That and “boat designer”. She takes things in her stride which is cool to see, though I’ve a feeling she can be too dismissive sometimes?
Poor Casper, being kidnapped. Along with being friendly, he has a very nice design, and I’m curious to see if he’ll be able to communicate with ghosts of future dead cast members. He seems shy when it comes to talking with uh, people in the flesh.
Next is Bedelia, who I somehow thought was named Belvedere at first (whops). She already seems like a delight, bright in appearance and nature. She’s likely really good with kids, and maybe volunteers in her spare time? Along with seeming generous, she kinda strikes me as gullible, aha.
So Caezar used to be an Ultimate? I wonder what that’s about. I like how his wariness of the situation contrasts the others’ though random lasers sounds extreme! Still, he seems to have a good head on him, though I get the feeling he can be real paranoid. He must’ve had some wild freerunning experiences.
Juliette sounds really friendly and a bit lovestruck, haha. Probably a daydreaming romantic. I like the idea (and funny coincidence) of her penpal being called Romeo. I think her and Elvi will be fun roommates.
Nameera is another, I think, former Ultimate. Crazy to think her dad sold her to the Experiment :O I wonder why it had to come to that, and what she means by the Light. Or how many times Nameera will say ‘Light’ every time she appears.
What’s immondous? QuQ;; And that cliffhanger is cruel. Whyyyy. If it turns out to be Caezar caught in a death trap that’ll be hilarious. Whatever the case, I look forward to the next chapter! Until then :D
2KISLOo update!
I can see what you mean about the sheer whiteness of the place haha. Gives a clinical vibe, impersonal, yet the dorm rooms seem accommodating. The doors being kinda hidden within the walls explains why Elvi keeps bumping into them, haha (that’s totally a meme now—maybe it is? I gotta check Discord)
I like Elvi so far, she’s got sass and an entertaining way of seeing things. The line “she might be stuck in a very strange place… but at least she looked good” was really funny. That and “boat designer”. She takes things in her stride which is cool to see, though I’ve a feeling she can be too dismissive sometimes?
Poor Casper, being kidnapped. Along with being friendly, he has a very nice design, and I’m curious to see if he’ll be able to communicate with ghosts of future dead cast members. He seems shy when it comes to talking with uh, people in the flesh.
Next is Bedelia, who I somehow thought was named Belvedere at first (whops). She already seems like a delight, bright in appearance and nature. She’s likely really good with kids, and maybe volunteers in her spare time? Along with seeming generous, she kinda strikes me as gullible, aha.
So Caezar used to be an Ultimate? I wonder what that’s about. I like how his wariness of the situation contrasts the others’ though random lasers sounds extreme! Still, he seems to have a good head on him, though I get the feeling he can be real paranoid. He must’ve had some wild freerunning experiences.
Juliette sounds really friendly and a bit lovestruck, haha. Probably a daydreaming romantic. I like the idea (and funny coincidence) of her penpal being called Romeo. I think her and Elvi will be fun roommates.
Nameera is another, I think, former Ultimate. Crazy to think her dad sold her to the Experiment :O I wonder why it had to come to that, and what she means by the Light. Or how many times Nameera will say ‘Light’ every time she appears.
What’s immondous? QuQ;; And that cliffhanger is cruel. Whyyyy. If it turns out to be Caezar caught in a death trap that’ll be hilarious. Whatever the case, I look forward to the next chapter! Until then :D
1/12/2019 c3 22Ziggymia123
Hey! Chapter! And now I can actually read it and review!
I like Elvi (and her inevitable high-waisted pants!). I'm always very fond of protagonists who are a little rougher around the edges. She definitely has some spunk to her, not only with her swearing but also with the way she's approaching this whole situation. She's surprisingly calm and not flustered, badly going wherever she wants because, in her mind, there's no reason for her not to. But she's also surprisingly gentle with some of the more outlandish personalities. She just goes with their particular brand of weird without commenting or disagreeing with it.
We also get introduced to 5 other Ultimates. First is probably my personal favorite, Casper. (heh, Casper the friendly Paranormal Investigator! There are a couple of names in the cast that are a little... puny? On the nose? Anyway, made me smile.) He's precious and I love him and I hope that he finds his ghost friends soon. Also, the whole (maybe) psychic/ghosts angle will be very interesting if he survives past the first murder. Will he try to communicate with them? How will people react to that? But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Next is Bedelia, who is also on the more childish side. She's also apparently a Tinker Fairy, which is a kind of fairy that has traded away their wings. Naturally. She's very pure hearted, as befitting a fairy, and also apparently the only one so far that went with their captors by choice. Granted, they obviously lied and manipulated her, but it makes me curious if there's anyone here who knows the true purpose and came anyway. (Beyond the traditional mastermind and/or traitor roles.)
I will probably always spell Caezar's name wrong, but it's fine. He mentions that he used to be an Ultimate. Obviously, your cast isn't the traditional high school students, they're a bit older, but I'm curious as to why them. Why not Hope's Peak students? Especially if some people have dropped or moved away from their talent a bit, like Caezar seems to have. But overall, I like him. He's probably my second favorite after Caster so far... I'm going to be making that mistake a lot too, aren't it? Casper. Not Caster. He's probably the one person who is reacting the closest to how I would react in this situation. Definitely one of the more down to earth characters.
And apparently everyone has a roommate! Elvi's is Juliette. I don't really get a sense for her as a person beyond the fact that she's apparently deeply in love with her literal Romeo. I'm curious if they've ever met or if this love blossomed only through letters. I admittedly always disliked the Shakespeare story, so I'm almost rooting for the latter option and for them to realize that the person they fell in love with does not match reality at all. But still, Elvi could probably do worse for a roommate. (I'm still trying to decide if Roommate Status has marked her as an obvious first victim/killer or not)
We also very briefly for Nameera. I don't really have a lot to say about her either. She's obviously very devoted to the Light, whatever that is. I'm vaguely getting Angie and Atua vibes, but we'll see how that goes. Also... HER FATHER SOLD HER HERE AND NO ONE MADE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT YET? Elvi, girl, that is not the reaction you have!
22Ziggymia123Hey! Chapter! And now I can actually read it and review!
I like Elvi (and her inevitable high-waisted pants!). I'm always very fond of protagonists who are a little rougher around the edges. She definitely has some spunk to her, not only with her swearing but also with the way she's approaching this whole situation. She's surprisingly calm and not flustered, badly going wherever she wants because, in her mind, there's no reason for her not to. But she's also surprisingly gentle with some of the more outlandish personalities. She just goes with their particular brand of weird without commenting or disagreeing with it.
We also get introduced to 5 other Ultimates. First is probably my personal favorite, Casper. (heh, Casper the friendly Paranormal Investigator! There are a couple of names in the cast that are a little... puny? On the nose? Anyway, made me smile.) He's precious and I love him and I hope that he finds his ghost friends soon. Also, the whole (maybe) psychic/ghosts angle will be very interesting if he survives past the first murder. Will he try to communicate with them? How will people react to that? But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Next is Bedelia, who is also on the more childish side. She's also apparently a Tinker Fairy, which is a kind of fairy that has traded away their wings. Naturally. She's very pure hearted, as befitting a fairy, and also apparently the only one so far that went with their captors by choice. Granted, they obviously lied and manipulated her, but it makes me curious if there's anyone here who knows the true purpose and came anyway. (Beyond the traditional mastermind and/or traitor roles.)
I will probably always spell Caezar's name wrong, but it's fine. He mentions that he used to be an Ultimate. Obviously, your cast isn't the traditional high school students, they're a bit older, but I'm curious as to why them. Why not Hope's Peak students? Especially if some people have dropped or moved away from their talent a bit, like Caezar seems to have. But overall, I like him. He's probably my second favorite after Caster so far... I'm going to be making that mistake a lot too, aren't it? Casper. Not Caster. He's probably the one person who is reacting the closest to how I would react in this situation. Definitely one of the more down to earth characters.
And apparently everyone has a roommate! Elvi's is Juliette. I don't really get a sense for her as a person beyond the fact that she's apparently deeply in love with her literal Romeo. I'm curious if they've ever met or if this love blossomed only through letters. I admittedly always disliked the Shakespeare story, so I'm almost rooting for the latter option and for them to realize that the person they fell in love with does not match reality at all. But still, Elvi could probably do worse for a roommate. (I'm still trying to decide if Roommate Status has marked her as an obvious first victim/killer or not)
We also very briefly for Nameera. I don't really have a lot to say about her either. She's obviously very devoted to the Light, whatever that is. I'm vaguely getting Angie and Atua vibes, but we'll see how that goes. Also... HER FATHER SOLD HER HERE AND NO ONE MADE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT YET? Elvi, girl, that is not the reaction you have!
1/11/2019 c3 1Shirasaur
*screeching in the distance* I’ve been super excited for this story to start up and AHHAHH ITS GOING GREAT SO FAR! But screaming aside, this was a really great intro chapter. I think that it was really well written, and it did a great job of kinda setting everything up. I like Elvi, a lot. Especially because of the way she treated some of the characters, like Casper and Bedelia. She just kinda went with what they were saying, and didn’t make a huge deal about how strange they were. Also, I’m a sucker for characters that know how to curse. Both redeeming qualities. Casper is such a cutie! I feel like he’s going to be the group cinnamon roll, and I’m very, very excited for it. Bedelia was also pretty high on the cute scale, but not quite as high as Casper. I really like the fairy persona though. It fits with her talent, and it’s really fun to read! I feel like Casper has the most common sense out of everyone we’ve been introduced to so far. Or at least the most grounded. He might be my favorite character from this chapter, (I really like his attitude), but also I really liked all the characters so...
And we’ve been introduced to Elvi’s roommate! Juliette! She seems like such an optimist, (oh god how long is that going to last). I’m hoping that she meets her Roméo soon, that would be so sweet on so many levels, and also a very interesting character dynamic, (but also shipping). The final character we met was the ultimate devote who’S FATHER SOLD HER TO THE EXPERIMENT EXCUSE ME WHAT. I MEAN THAT’S SUPER CREATIVE BUT HECCIN WHAT?! But the chapter ended on a cliff hanger! Gxhsjene ok fine I’ll just be patient.
Props to you for a great intro chapter!
1Shirasaur*screeching in the distance* I’ve been super excited for this story to start up and AHHAHH ITS GOING GREAT SO FAR! But screaming aside, this was a really great intro chapter. I think that it was really well written, and it did a great job of kinda setting everything up. I like Elvi, a lot. Especially because of the way she treated some of the characters, like Casper and Bedelia. She just kinda went with what they were saying, and didn’t make a huge deal about how strange they were. Also, I’m a sucker for characters that know how to curse. Both redeeming qualities. Casper is such a cutie! I feel like he’s going to be the group cinnamon roll, and I’m very, very excited for it. Bedelia was also pretty high on the cute scale, but not quite as high as Casper. I really like the fairy persona though. It fits with her talent, and it’s really fun to read! I feel like Casper has the most common sense out of everyone we’ve been introduced to so far. Or at least the most grounded. He might be my favorite character from this chapter, (I really like his attitude), but also I really liked all the characters so...
And we’ve been introduced to Elvi’s roommate! Juliette! She seems like such an optimist, (oh god how long is that going to last). I’m hoping that she meets her Roméo soon, that would be so sweet on so many levels, and also a very interesting character dynamic, (but also shipping). The final character we met was the ultimate devote who’S FATHER SOLD HER TO THE EXPERIMENT EXCUSE ME WHAT. I MEAN THAT’S SUPER CREATIVE BUT HECCIN WHAT?! But the chapter ended on a cliff hanger! Gxhsjene ok fine I’ll just be patient.
Props to you for a great intro chapter!
1/11/2019 c3 137TheRoseShadow21
Elvi, sweetpea, I think Cezare has a point, you know. It's probably better to go to the auditorium. But you do you, I guess.
Anyway, I do like Elvi as a protag. As for the other characters, my favourites by far are Juliette, Bedelia and Nameera. Especially Juliette and Nameera. I would like to form a protections squad for them ASAP. Juliette is too lovely and Nameera is endearing, though most of my liking for her is basically just sympathy for the fact she was sold by her father (!), though she does seem like a nice character.
So, yeah, great chapter as always. I look forward to the next one
137TheRoseShadow21Elvi, sweetpea, I think Cezare has a point, you know. It's probably better to go to the auditorium. But you do you, I guess.
Anyway, I do like Elvi as a protag. As for the other characters, my favourites by far are Juliette, Bedelia and Nameera. Especially Juliette and Nameera. I would like to form a protections squad for them ASAP. Juliette is too lovely and Nameera is endearing, though most of my liking for her is basically just sympathy for the fact she was sold by her father (!), though she does seem like a nice character.
So, yeah, great chapter as always. I look forward to the next one
1/10/2019 c3 RioA
YOU DID THE THING
YOU DID THE THING
12/21/2018 c2 3tobi-is-an-artist-too
Whoop! Score one for forgetting to review! Hahaha anyway I find it kind of unnerving that people are simply kicking back and watching them struggle that like really messed up. Even more so than usual because this is an organization. Or something...man I don't know but these guys seem way to chill with pitting people against each other and watching them suffer. Like it seems like they were waiting for this like it was a big sports game or something. Hmm weird. Anyways I just wanna say thanks for accepting my girl annnnnd I'm super hype to meet this super awesome cast ya put together! THE HYPE IS REAL CRIM!
3tobi-is-an-artist-tooWhoop! Score one for forgetting to review! Hahaha anyway I find it kind of unnerving that people are simply kicking back and watching them struggle that like really messed up. Even more so than usual because this is an organization. Or something...man I don't know but these guys seem way to chill with pitting people against each other and watching them suffer. Like it seems like they were waiting for this like it was a big sports game or something. Hmm weird. Anyways I just wanna say thanks for accepting my girl annnnnd I'm super hype to meet this super awesome cast ya put together! THE HYPE IS REAL CRIM!
12/1/2018 c2 1Shirasaur
ooOOOooOOh!
I actually didn’t realize that there was a pre-prologue until maybe 10 minutes ago. Whoops. But hey! I really like how you set things up! And I am very curious to see what comes next!
1ShirasaurooOOOooOOh!
I actually didn’t realize that there was a pre-prologue until maybe 10 minutes ago. Whoops. But hey! I really like how you set things up! And I am very curious to see what comes next!
11/20/2018 c2 1J Carp
Hm.
Carpenter, Craven, Hooper, Raimi.
I feel like there's a pattern here, but I'm horrified to say I don't get it.
1J CarpHm.
Carpenter, Craven, Hooper, Raimi.
I feel like there's a pattern here, but I'm horrified to say I don't get it.
11/19/2018 c2 6Prince PokePersona
Ooh what an ominous short chapter crimson, I'm even more interested to see what this project is all about now.
I wonder who that blue haired girl was, is she the MC? I like her look so far and wonder what she's all about.
Also these code names are interesting, do the overseers of this project have these for a purpose, this is so cool, looking forward to the next chapter, Crimson have a nice day X3.
6Prince PokePersonaOoh what an ominous short chapter crimson, I'm even more interested to see what this project is all about now.
I wonder who that blue haired girl was, is she the MC? I like her look so far and wonder what she's all about.
Also these code names are interesting, do the overseers of this project have these for a purpose, this is so cool, looking forward to the next chapter, Crimson have a nice day X3.
11/19/2018 c2 137TheRoseShadow21
Oooh, intriguing little pre-prologue, I like it :) I look forward to this starting
137TheRoseShadow21Oooh, intriguing little pre-prologue, I like it :) I look forward to this starting
11/18/2018 c2 53PainX65
Interesting update chapter, Crim. We got a glimpse at the Crescent Association and know that there's a Craven, Carpenter, Raimi and Hooper I wonder if those will come back up again? Who knows. We also got a glimpse at our possible protagonist at the beginning and end. Guess next time the Crescent Association is going to start forcing others to murder each other. But with all scientific experiments, not all experiments work in their favour.
Who knows if these testers will suffer backlash, or even be a part of the experiment themselves and not even know it. Either way, next chapter might be the official start of the experiment, and I wish these test subjects luck. Good luck with future submissions Crim. Get all those OCs so you can give ME once more.
53PainX65Interesting update chapter, Crim. We got a glimpse at the Crescent Association and know that there's a Craven, Carpenter, Raimi and Hooper I wonder if those will come back up again? Who knows. We also got a glimpse at our possible protagonist at the beginning and end. Guess next time the Crescent Association is going to start forcing others to murder each other. But with all scientific experiments, not all experiments work in their favour.
Who knows if these testers will suffer backlash, or even be a part of the experiment themselves and not even know it. Either way, next chapter might be the official start of the experiment, and I wish these test subjects luck. Good luck with future submissions Crim. Get all those OCs so you can give ME once more.
11/4/2018 c1 3tobi-is-an-artist-too
Shady company is shady. Hahaha that being said this is interesting since I have till December I might be able to whip something up for ya! And that whole willing or not willing thing is very foreboding almost reminds me of CADMUS or OSCORP which is only relevant if you know what they are lol. I have some ideas brewing now and I hope I can get them together enough to actually form something hahaha. Can't wait to learn more about the Melancholia Experiment!
3tobi-is-an-artist-tooShady company is shady. Hahaha that being said this is interesting since I have till December I might be able to whip something up for ya! And that whole willing or not willing thing is very foreboding almost reminds me of CADMUS or OSCORP which is only relevant if you know what they are lol. I have some ideas brewing now and I hope I can get them together enough to actually form something hahaha. Can't wait to learn more about the Melancholia Experiment!
11/1/2018 c1 137TheRoseShadow21
Oooh, creepy. Very creepy. Nothing that's called 'Melancholia' could possibly end well, but that's half the fun I suppose. Anyway, this is also very, very exciting and I will hopefully be submitting to this too!
Keep up the good work!
137TheRoseShadow21Oooh, creepy. Very creepy. Nothing that's called 'Melancholia' could possibly end well, but that's half the fun I suppose. Anyway, this is also very, very exciting and I will hopefully be submitting to this too!
Keep up the good work!
10/31/2018 c1 53PainX65
A bit late with the whole review, but ah well. Anywho, even though there's not much to go on, I do like the invitation letter to the experiment (nice names too), very spooky, spook me. If I have any questions, I'd most likely bug you about them ;) good luck with the submissions and whatnot.
53PainX65A bit late with the whole review, but ah well. Anywho, even though there's not much to go on, I do like the invitation letter to the experiment (nice names too), very spooky, spook me. If I have any questions, I'd most likely bug you about them ;) good luck with the submissions and whatnot.