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for The Problems of Time Travel

11/9 c47 Guest
Do you think you are above the rules? Fanfiction forbids non-story chapters such as author's notes and announcements. If you don't delete them, you are in danger of loosing the whole story..
11/8 c47 Guest
Did you read the guidelines before posting? You are not supposed to have non-chapters like author's notes or announcement. Delete these two chapters and whatever other non-chapters you have or your stories will get reported and deleted by the mods.
9/11 c47 Guest
Amazing fanfiction.. totally different from any other work I have read. Although it was a bit sad that the other timeline was completely gone, but well, i guess it was necessary. Loved the story..
6/20 c1 moodyboy66
The story was fantastic from start to finish. I would read books 1-7 of that AU timeline.
6/17 c46 Crystal
Really enjoyed the story-I am always up for a good time travel story, and I thought the new timeline was well thought out and compelling. I have always thought that from the moment Dumbledore left Harry to be abused by the Dursleys that he wasn't entirely to be trusted. Hermione and Harry! Yes.
Thanks for sharing your story.
4/27 c47 ItMeYaGril
An interesting take on the time-travel fix-it. While it would have been fun to see the rise of God Emperor Potter, I think your choice of conclusion is far more fitting for Harry's character and the tone of the story overall. The world Harry found himself in was fundamentally broken. Decades of Riddle's unchecked influence and the influence of a Dumbledore who never really saw how bad things can get created a magical society even less likely to adapt than the one found in canon. Honestly speaking, there was no happy ending for that world. Now at least, with Death's promise that this world will be a best-case scenario for Hermione, the world at large has a chance. All-in-all, I found this fic to be a refreshing (if depressing) take on the genre.

On the critical and less story driven side, I feel like there were several parts in the story where combining sentences would have allowed passages to flow better. You have a tendency to fall into 'Subject. Statement about subject. Second statement about subject.' where a compound sentence would have worked well. This isn't to say that all instances of this should be changed, as separating the sentences does add emphasis. Honestly though, that's the only real critique I have. You balanced the despair and levity quite well, and given the time constraints of the story, characters developed in a believable fassion.

A good, original story overall that adds a new take on an established genre, while exploring aspects of the setting (the Hallows) in a way I hadn't seen before. 8/10, will definitely recommend.
2/12 c31 Guest
12/9/2020 c15 1anjiepotter
it's not my cup of coffee. sorry... so much depressive emotions
12/8/2020 c12 anjiepotter
i hate dark lords...
11/23/2020 c45 HarryTheHorcrux
Ron was a dick in both timelines
11/13/2020 c1 1midnightlocks
Hands down one of the most underrated stories to have been written here. I really don’t understand why this story has less that 500 favourites. The writing quality and plot are simply immaculate, and stories like these are truly difficult to find these days. I hope you write more!
9/13/2020 c45 Guest
It's a great story certainly different and original very well written. Of course i want to see more either a sequel or some epilogue whatnot. and a blooming romance between harry and hermione cause in the other timeline they couldn't do much.
But you made choices or mistakes that put me out and loses momentum in the story!
You ask us (and damn what a nerve) if you are to harsh on the weasleys and dumbledore oh boy! the bit of bashing and humor is okay but come on this is riddiculous, considering dumbdumb it was about right. You let them spout, do and say whatever without ever being punished or set right.

-I don't know why they were gone in the rest of the story, but mostly in the beginning molly/ginny's clearly frotting loud mouths of what belongs to them. Harry!
The potter's wouldn't allow this and i guess lily would do something to them, blood feud or alliance or not nobody talks like that and that nobody does something about it.
-I found it strange the things harry talks about he's raised in the wizard world what does he know about the muggle side?
-You go to far with ron cause nobody does jack shit to punish him or set straight, considering he is not harry's friend (while ron believes he is). I am astounded he let ron in come on missions, while every other weasley brother is better.
For that matter hermione a girl just 2 months into that school just begins learning can come to? You put those 2 in a group to such a dangerous place either to be captured or killed... And more kind of crap you put in there without consequences.
Like i said what could potential of a great story is stumped down into unbelievable, didn't much care about some mistakes or some choices, but the weasleys and dumbles.
8/31/2020 c46 Ruchir Swapnil
story-telling at its finest. really wish there was a sequel though
9/1/2020 c46 Runecutter
"there is value to the journey though"
Mostly entertainment value as you do not give your traveller the memories such value would require for a meaningful impact on HIM...

In the end, that is a major motive... veritable loads of intriguing ideas that are not quite pulled through or told to the utmost potential. LIke the many fights ending anticlimactic without even trying to actually "fight", having people fall to a halfarsed AK that should not be that easy to kill (and later at Nurmengard with absurd risk and odds, suddenly NOBODY dies... uhh yeah, why?).
A similar thing could be said about changing the basic premise and yet pretty slavishly go through the motions to repeat "canon" events. Almost a Dr Who design like "fixed points in time" which always was a horrible storytelling device that damaged the narrative more than it helped contain it in manageable paths... you give for example ZERO indication that this Harry is vastly different until he meets Hermione in the bathroom and talks to her in the chamber. Which means quite an abrupt change triggered by the Black "bling". His "no i won't" stance at the goblet revealing the champions isn't actually that far from the canon and does not by itself show a more thinkiing, independent Harry, that begins in the chamber "without warning".

So long whining short... a tremendously fascinating setup that at times could have been used better and overall is rather unsatisfactory in keeping to its own set up. And relying WAY too much on the absurd premise that dying makes the Dark Lords MORE successful, powerful and unbeatable instead of various ways in which it is imaginable to turn them less successful (losing magical power, stability of thought, reason and becoming crueller to friend and enemy alike, harming their recruitment effort and ability to lead "armies"). Grindelwald ruining half of Europe in course of the second world war had 20 years in the making. Grindelwald ruining late 20th century Europe is only through the grace of "Author wants it"... and Voldemort keeping step is ... dubious. And the "armies" in the face of miniscule wizarding communities would be only a couple of dozen warriors for any given major European nation... yet the damage they cause is akin to the massed armies of WW 2? such decisions show that you never thought through the consequences of your world building when creating your main plot developments. Meh... i blame the love for the horrible movies that suffer from similar dissonances.

In the end we'll always have the Blacks. Which is a lot more than many stories on this site can claim.
9/1/2020 c45 Runecutter
I like the end, but i also feel it is a bit much for an allegedly "unchanged" / restored timeline.
This should be Harry STARTING to get independent, not swearing to pull through with it, already plans ready to go through with and whatnot.
And if you wanted to go with the "Lord Black" angle, why not start in FIFTH year when they clean out the home, dream a few nights of the jewelry, then find it in an out of way / cursed cupboard and "connect" with it through a drop of blood... and next unexpectedly being recognized by the courtroom as Black of Blacks and e.g. not chained. Everything done and finished before Dumbeldore can pull his "swooping in for the rescue" sham... and with Hermione having stood with him through the tournament and the trial preparation this "allegiance" thing would be a lot more natural than here, decided on the fly...
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