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8/29/2020 c17 Runecutter
Love this. Nice how quick they wised up about Grindelwald not having any motive for these atrocities and would be more public about it being HIS handiwork... and how they used Draco... Wait until his father hears about them both being outsmarted with a pretty basic trap :D

(This is what I mean with "consider the changes in your world"... Riddle is inexperienced in a guerilla campaign and Malfoy has zero experience in that kind of scheming and murdering too, so they have a steep learning curve ahead, and that against a not intimidated and quite well trained population... Grindelwald planning for decades obviously would be better at this, Riddle is a politician with private insurrection urges, not a successful leader of a paramilitary terrorist force ... yet.)
8/29/2020 c16 Runecutter
Yes, new events, not following the books, being creative based on the different world! This was great.

On the other hand i quickly tire of Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum (Ron and Draco) doing the "listen to me, i'm important, this whole helping the ones not being able to get a proper education thing is below my dignity" shpiel. Why do they even join the meetings if all they can do is complain? Why do the others tolerate them there?
8/29/2020 c15 Runecutter
My my, how do you always turn around things so well?
I actually started to dislike this world and your interpretation of things between the Dumbledore "Why do anything it will go away" scene and the Riddle (the cloak showing the other Vodlemort i suspect?) talk...

THEN you close it off with the Grindelwald cursing Dumbledore thing... Whow, just whow. THAT was great impact and using the "known" Potter history to great effect by being unpredictable. I much prefer if that is the only kind of retread of the book stories, compared to "Umbridge still is a pantomime villain" ;) Your world based on "who lived who originally died" and how they would have reshaped it in 50 or 95 years SHOULD be totally different, instead of basically playing catchup with the book stories with only minimal changes to replace actors not present in this scenario. Might still be personal preference, but it seriously is where your story shines while the "too close to tell" bits are on the other hand lackluster and disappointing.
8/29/2020 c14 Runecutter
I have a hard time to be impressed with this minister Riddle, he is so clumsy, so bloody obvious in his evil machinations, how did he escape notice of being not a good man for 13 years?
Maybe the population can ignore a tiny number of Muggleborns being systematically trodden down, but the direct intervention at Hogwarts, in front of the two foreign schools cannot even be described as plausible deniability, it is just outright evil. Why is Umbridge even powerful in HIS ministry? She lacks any slytherin attributes, isn't very bright and makes him look bad even when she manages to fulfil her tasks. Well especially when she does what she's supposed to do.

This seems to be the equivalent to JKR suffering from her first book being set up as an almost grotesque parody of an origin story with over the top evil relatives comically act "larger/more evil than life" ... and she probably rued that decision later in the series when she could not switch off that behavior and was caught in a world full of cartoon characters that now had to act inside a serious story. Umbridge is that cartoon in your world of competent madmen and scheming politicians. Totally a piranha out of water.
8/28/2020 c12 Runecutter
Nice reveal with Snape and his obsession was also well framed and used for effect.
Also Harry's efforts and the reveal of the "true power of the cloak" were similarly great ideas and handled well. I love how you had him despair and doubt over his memories, focussing on the loss and lonelyness, but NOW he had this surety of being loved and ... that was a perfect counterpoint to the last few chapters with his visions.
8/28/2020 c9 Runecutter
No, the german word for wand is Zauberstab, not stad and the plural follows german conventions by turning it into Zauberstäbe, stade is definitely wrong. I wonder where you got that word from, any online dictionary should have been more helpful in the correct declension.

Beyond that, shouldn't his shop's name be in polish or russian anyway as he seems to live in the former eastern german regions that no longer are in Germany since the second world war...

To be honest, these scenes with the two big baddies getting the other hallows and Harry getting the cloak were bordering on "too dark just to be dark" for my tastes. Pure Evil isn't really that interesting and ironically you are showing that kind of impressively with the duelling Harry "teaches"... you do not need to throw around unforgivables to be a fearsome duellist. if you decide to do so, you basically just do it for the fear and thrill of causing a death with a simple curse... instead of putting in the work to make the kills count. A Dark Lord with a brain and a working duelling portfolio of spells is far scarier and more entertaining than a papercutout Riddle only using Unforgivables. But then that is just MY preference, no law of story writing ;-)

(Your) Grindelwald at least has got some sort of target he works towards, an idea of HOW to rule the world... Riddle seems to be too one dimensional for that, he just knows he MUST rule it and that Muggles should not be part of it. Might be Dumbledore trying to shape him to his own vision of the world though, who knows. On the other hand Riddle is malicious, but not absurdly so, Grindelwald with his overreactions seems far more unhinged... i cannot give any roses today, sorry... they both are horrible "dates" :D
8/27/2020 c7 Runecutter
Well i never liked the "theory" behind JKRs Obscurus, in consequence I never liked the Scamander Movies either. Making it magical despair-Herpes is ... troublesome. giving it even more power and it was overpowered to begin with. To be fair, it is simply the Potter adaptation of another fantasy trope the "wizard's death curse", where being killed prematurely can give them an enormous last wish, usually a hurtful one to really harm whoever murdererd them, this is just beginning sooner and evoking slower. Nothing really outrageously far off from typical magic descriptions all over a century of writing.
Still it does seem to fit so poorly into the Potterworld, seeing how badly Harry is said to have been treated and with Riddle and Snape two more cases of abhorrent childhoods are well known... there would have to be a plague of Obscuri... and there isn't. Only great thing i can see here is the inclusion of Ariana and the possible reversion of "the problem" included in that (finding out how to make the amulet and use that magic large scale)

So the big bad IS Grindelwald... I don't know if i should be excited about that or bored with the idea. Right now i'm neutral as it feels he wouldn't really be a worse enemy than Riddle, although much of that is just us riding on the coattails of JKR never truly describing his part in the world war and "How bad was it really" (and the movies won't touch that one, instead making their own even worsely reasoned timeline... *sigh* ), so choosing him mostly serves to leave Riddle free to be a third power, not shuffling the cards completely new. So right now all i can truly do is wait and see.
8/27/2020 c6 Runecutter
Heh nice. Not so much the lesson, i actually do not care for that or the duel too much. But Harry's outlook was inspiring and Luna's overlooked comment was fascinating... she just so discovered Harry would be the next Lord Black, which in world is a well kept secret Harry himself only heard a couple of days ago. Maybe that is why he never really catches on to what she's saying, but it still was the thing that impressed me the most about the chapter.

One thing though where i do not really understand why you included it and made it so prominent... Hermione's self doubt is a bit much in comparison. It's her first real lesson in spellbased magic after years of having been put down as not truly worth to have even a magical ability... she shouldn't be quite the same as in the books where she gets her overachieving the "proper way" by never being stopped. This world is different though and it should show in her reaction to the whole change of pace. Meh, maybe it will later on.
8/25/2020 c3 Runecutter
Oh... after the first chapter i was curious and pleasantly surprised. After the second one i was intrigued and rooted for the story. NOW i am smitten with the changes and how you handle them. I don't think i have ever seen a setting in an AU quite as well constructed like this before.

Okay, maybe it's erring a tiny bit on the "too many powerful supporters/protectors side for Harry", but that is well worth it if the other side of the story is bringing Ariana back in this role or having the ancestor level above Harry's parent being around to play a role adequate to a generation not too much younger than Dumbles... who might collude with Minister-not-Voldemort but also has been out of really delving into politics due to the school leadership for decades...

The longer i follow Harry Potter, the less satisfied I am with JKRs premise of Purebloods "looking down on" new bloods... these people should be their vaunted scouts, protectors and secretkeepers, guaranteeing that no mistakes are made with the hiding of magic away from the other society, instead they are portrayed as those cutesy-confused elderly fools dressing in ridiculous costumes and favoring absurd fashions and behavior just because they can... such a world wouldn't even have survived the NINETIES as "hidden", much less beyond that. Yes i know it's meant to symbolize racism and other discriminatory prejudices, but it still is the most stunningly stupid part of the worldbuilding. And Voldemort building his fantasy of world domination on the RULING class is even dumber. If you want to rebel you need the hungry, not the cruelly raised and terminally pampered... but i'm ranting. THis is a great world playing with the prototypes set by JKR. No fault in that. I just hope that in the course of "winning" this secret war, the faction around Harry will introduce saner and more logical positions. Your world does not survive if the guardians of it are as clueless as Arthur Weasley or as derogatory as half the Auror Corps and assorted ministers we've met...

Now enough of my whining and tattling on... let's continue to see what all you can change... will Frank and Alice be around? Will Fleur recognize Ariana's amulet? What's with the many victims of the two wars that seem to not have taken place in this world thanks to Gellert's timely demise? Like the Bones' family regardless if you deem them Susan's parents or another sibling of her dad and Amelia's, the Prewitt Twins, the long line of victims Moody points out to Harry on the old Order photo... if Arcturus is still around (and Orion and Cygnus Black too) what about Abraxas Malfoy? So many options, so many possibilities. Is Trelawney even at Hogwarts or is Divination another victim of the changes? I doubt that - with his mom AT the School - Harry would be allowed to slack off with such a wasteful subject :D (and he already takes runes or his task in the library makes no sense).

And that reminded me of the last thing probably worth to be mentioned... if Riddle is minister and works WITH Dumbledore... who put up Quirrel to steal the Stone? Who freed the Basilisk and forced Harry to go down to fight it? Is Riddle playing a double game here? Seems a bit late for Grindelwald to come back... or is this a different Dark Lord who originally passed in either WW 2 or the Riddle Blood War? The summary promisses "more deadly foes" ... so this is a really good riddle. Very fascinating.
8/19/2020 c45 1battybiologist
Good writing, fun storyline. A bit obvious sometimes, other times cleverbut the problem there is that the story is too enamored with its own cleverness. Lots of characters don't feel cohesive or feel like one note jokesincluding the villains. The story feels like it can't decide between being a sendup of fanfic tropes or a serious story.
8/18/2020 c1 10ALRYM
That was a great first chapter!
8/4/2020 c1 Guest
Fi
8/4/2020 c1 Guest
Dh
7/23/2020 c45 GBTtown
Great story!
7/23/2020 c38 4ArturiusRex8
Would probably need radar recordings to prove the planes came from and returned to Britain. The illusions wouldn't hold up to scrutiny as all that is 'there' is video. Also wouldn't need to get anywhere near Paris to launch missiles at it. Grindlewald's plan doesn't work with military gear post '70s/'80s.
-ArturiusRex8
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