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7/17 c46 4Preacher of Kepler
Hi, I don't know if you remember me but I left a super long review for your other story, Missing in Action. After reading this last chapter, it seems you've come to terms as to why this story was to put it simply, 'unsustainable'. The main problems were the confusing plot due to having way too many characters and the plot itself moving very slowly, which frankly made it quite boring at times. I get that you were trying to have various 'arcs' to make it dynamic, as well as provide a different perspective. However, having too many characters in the spotlight can feel overwhelming since there's so much going on. The fact that you jumped back and forth between different arcs didn't help with the confusion either. Having various arcs in itself is not a bad thing. In fact, I prefer stories like that because making a story too linear isn't great either. However, in my personal opinion, the number of arcs or subplots really shouldn't exceed three. Furthermore, the arcs should at least be connected in someways plot wise. However, I felt this was something lacking in this story, even among the various UNSC character arcs. If I were to make a suggestion, it would've been better to split the story into smaller stories and have the various arcs and subplots overlap significantly (and by that, I mean more than just a brief cameo appearance of another plot character).
As for the positives, there's a lot of that as well. First, your writing quality has improved a lot since you finished MIA. The weapons and vehicles also don't seem to be so overly descriptive like in MIA, which was my biggest qualm about that story. Lastly, I think it's impressive, if not amazing that you're able to build up such a complex and detailed story. I can tell that you are a very big lore junkie like I am. In fact, I could dare say that this and MIA has potential to an official Halo book, as long as some revisions are made, of course. Lastly, I don't know how old you are or your life goals are. However, I will confidently say that you have a real knack for writing and storytelling. The amount of dedication you put on your stories is impressive and I can tell you spend a lot of time on it. Not many people would be willing to do that so props to you. In case you do have plans to become a professional writer, I think you're already off to a good start. You already have the writing skills and worldbuilding talent under your belt. If you were to invest the same amount of effort and dedication that you put into fanfiction and direct it into an original work, I have no doubts you'll create something great out of it. To put it simply, you have real potential. Regardless of what path you choose, keep writing and don't give up!
6/3 c46 Broman
I skipped the entirety of this chapter as I didn't want to spoil everything.

Sad to see you stopping this story after so much love was put into it. We were just starting to see the end of the tunnel here.

I'm going to be on the prowl for any work you do, even it does fly in the face of cannon. Which is prefer, as some of the technicalities of cannon annoy me.

Have you considered doing a straight up AU version of the Halo verse? Maybe humanity dosent get into contact with the covenant, and simply has a massive civil war instead? I think that would be dope. You could really create you're own universe there

As always, I'm looking forward to the next one man. Keep marching on.
6/3 c45 Broman
Well. Fucking brutes show up. And that's how we lost . Christ. That's the last thing the unsc needs right now

Nice job portraying the covenant side, especially with the interactions of the fleetmaster and field master. Incompetent fool is going to cause more faithful to die.
5/28 c43 Broman
Excellent chapter, though I would like to point out that humanity has only been using slipspace for like...two-three hundred years, not a milenia.

Also, I really hope amber doesn't die in this one. I want to get a perspective of what it's like to be stuck adrift a unsc ship after it's been set adrift by fighting the covenant.

I also expect that unsc army would have simple designations across it's forces due to its sheer size, and having colonial militaries be very much open to customization from the author.

Here I go to the next one!
5/27 c42 Broman
Noticed you put those blatant open sky references for the native Navy's. I appreciate it.
I really appreciate the hard work you put in these chaoters man. Don't let the low number of reviews discourage it.

Your shit is fire.

I'm betting that all those bombs didn't do shit.
5/25 c41 Broman
Great chapter as usual. Apologies for not leaving reviews, life's a bitch.

The way you made the countdown closer and closer and building up the the soon to be battle by jumping between the characters was very cool.

Interested in seeing how many of them survive the following chapeters. Unto the next one.
5/16 c43 CommissarBS
You should be commended for making ship to ship combat so damn interesting. And your organisational skills are nothing to scoff at either. I'm glad you posted these
5/12 c39 Hein117
Man, sad to hear that this story is getting cancelled. As far as Halo stories goes this one is, for me so far, the best one that isn't centralised on a spartan or a team of spartans. I think that is what has initially drew me in.

I can understand the reasons for quitting. If this is your hobby to do and it's no longer fun it becomes a chore.

As for the story arcs. I would love to read about the end of all the characters. Maybe even doing seperate stories for each? Still a lot of work, but all the arcs could be rounded off nicely. A different fanfic for each?

My favorite part still has to be the Grizzly tank arc with the crew. The way you wrote up how they operate was a blast. So hopefully we get to read some more about them before it's really over.

So i really hope you'll post the rest still left on your hard drive. And thanks for writing such a lovely piece of canon (for me anyway) lore from the Halo universe. Until the next story i guess ;)
5/10 c39 Akula Kursk
Would definitely like to see the fate of these characters and what else ya have written up. This was a great story and it makes sense that's it's grown to be a beast you can't contain. Loved following it though, your one of the few writers to actually combine militarist realism with the Halo universe.
5/9 c39 8Darkfire7881
I just wanted to add my thoughts to Ian deciding to cancel the story, as this I’d honestly a bit disappointing for me. I’ve been helping Ian edit this story for…well I honestly forget, a long while now. I feel like reading through Ian’s stories, and talking with him, have made me a far better writer. Also the fact that not only was this story my favorite fan fiction, it was also one of my favorite stories. Ian has proven to be an exceptional writer, better than many published authors. And he has been a great friend.
So while it is sad to see this story end, it is also a good thing, as I hope to see what new projects Ian will work on.
And I agree, upload your remaining chapters and the end notes.
5/8 c39 Dan
I really would like to see the other 6 chapters and the outline of the ending and the fate of the characters please.
5/8 c39 CommissarBS
Ah hell. I understand your reasoning, and see your points, but I can't say I didn't really enjoy reading the stories of all the characters. The amount of quality writing you put to paper can't be overstated, but I can see how this could drag out for years(not that I'd have a problem with that). I'm glad you wrote it either way, and I'd happily read whatever chapters/drafts you have, I've grown accustomed to your writing style over the last months. Best of luck in whatever endeavour you choose next, and thanks for the content!
4/13 c36 13Thorthemighty321
It lives! Hell yeah!

So I like the idea of the SEALs being the Navy's Tier 1 Non-Spartan Unit. I take it that the ODSTs are the Marine Corps Tier 1 Unit and the Green Berets or Delta Force is the Army?
4/10 c36 Broman
Ohhhhhh shiiiiiit it returns!

Glad to see you keeping to promises and pumping out more chapters for this great story. Honestly a gem in the rough it is.

Thanks for following up on the characters and allowing the story to continue with the promise of a massive battle for future chapters.

Going to miss Moss, but we've always get that Mud Marine to keep the infantry combat alive.

Looking forward to it.
4/4 c36 4Killerkitty641
It's Back!
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