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5/28 c31 Guest
I absolutely LOVE this story! It is by far my favorite fan fiction ever. Nice job, I’ll be hoping for new chapters soon!
5/1 c29 Guest
Okay I really liked this story. You had a few typos, especially with names (calling Coulter Warren or something like that), which made it a little hard to understand, but overall it was great! I'd probably give it 8.5, 9, or 9.5 out of 10.

I liked how you never made anything go directly against the actual story (as far as I can tell). You supported the story and made a few inferences that it never blatantly states, and then go off of those. This was plenty long, but the quality didn't deteriorate over the story.

If you want a little criticism, here it is. There was too much Dale caring for Warren, and not enough of the other way around. I get that that's the point of this story, but in book 2, Dale tells them something like "Warren was as good of a brother as I could ever ask for. Never hesitated to help me how. Now I return the favor, make sure he gets enough exercise." This didn't really show the part where Warren helps Dale, except for the few places where he tries to help around the yard. Also, again in book 2, Warren literally calls Vanessa a hag. I don't think it really makes sense for them to be friendly before he went catatonic, and then straight out of it call her a hag. Also, I liked the part where he gets to be friends with the satyrs, but you kinda glanced over it, mentioned it, but didn't really explore their friendship like Brandon Mull does with Seth.

Again, overall this was a pretty good story.
5/1 c13 Guest
This story is really cool, I think it's fun how it shows the backstory of the two brothers that wanted completely seperate things. Thanks for doing this!
In this chapter, it only says the name Vanessa once, so it doesn't explain who she is. I'm assuming it's Vanessa Santoro, cause she does indeed collect magical creatures, so I'm also assuming that it's the same girl who "seems to know everything about magical creatures". If so, this makes sense, it's really cool how you're working her in here, because after all, she was a Knight. Just doesn't come out and say that.
4/13 c29 5books-and-starss
3/28 c28 19Yakall
You totally nailed it! The way everything is done is amazing! In general it’s just amazing!
1/3 c23 Yakall
This is amazing! I wish I had your awesome writing skills!
12/28/2019 c22 1bshelley
This is so good! Dale and Warren are my favorite characters in the series - well Warren is anyway. I always thought it was sad that we never really got to know their backstory, you are a really good author. Can't wait to read more. How much more will you be writing? How often do you update?
11/21/2019 c20 2FairyGirl22
That was really good! I was wondering if you were going to write about this incident, and I honestly think you executed it very well.
10/12/2019 c18 FairyGirl22
I think your writing of Dale is good. I’m loving these chapters so far and I feel like Dale’s grief is pretty realistic.
9/22/2019 c16 FairyGirl22
Omg so sad! The way Lena and Dale reacted was so sad! Like, I knew it was gonna be sad but not this sad.
9/1/2019 c15 FairyGirl22
That was really nice. I love that Warren always feels safe with Dale. I’m really excited for Dale’s reaction to Warren’s albinism.
8/17/2019 c14 FairyGirl22
That chapter was so good! It’s really interesting to see your reasoning behind the things in the books (like why Warren lives in his own separate cabin). Also I like how Lena is a trump card. She’s honestly the best.

I think that as long as the albino chapters fit within the narrative of this story that you could add them here, but if you’re trying to do something different with those chapters then it’s also a good idea to put them into a different story. This is just my opinion though, and whatever you do end up doing will probably turn out great.
7/25/2019 c13 FairyGirl22
Awww poor Warren. It sucks to think that people are better than you and to compare yourself to them. I like the Vanessa allusion, and I wonder if she’s going to play a part in this story in the future? Anyways, this chapter was great!
6/9/2019 c12 FairyGirl22
I’ve never actually thought about how Dale would respond to Warren becoming a knight, and his reaction makes sense. Like, who would want a life of constant danger for their sibling?
5/13/2019 c11 Wolf lover27
Loved the chapter.
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