
1/14 c19 Carlom2408
When are you returning to write the Fate/Black Clover crossover?
When are you returning to write the Fate/Black Clover crossover?
1/12 c19 Matthew Davis1
I hope you’re doing ok and on a more selfish note that you are going to release the next chapter soon, because it’s a very good story and would hate to see it end.
I hope you’re doing ok and on a more selfish note that you are going to release the next chapter soon, because it’s a very good story and would hate to see it end.
12/29/2024 c1
4ObeRun
Hey man, I hope you are doing well. Expecting a last chapter for 2024 if possible XD. Or maybe in early January. Belated Merry Christmas and advanced happy New Year man!

Hey man, I hope you are doing well. Expecting a last chapter for 2024 if possible XD. Or maybe in early January. Belated Merry Christmas and advanced happy New Year man!
12/29/2024 c6
35Zeromaru Chaos Mode
dont forget "A birthday is the day when you celebrate being born"

dont forget "A birthday is the day when you celebrate being born"
12/19/2024 c19 HelpingHand
I’ll admit I liked the fight. It was different enough from the other rush down opponents and the destroying platforms was interesting. I’m looking forward to the next chapter. Dark Artoria looks like she will bring some unique tricks to the table. Plus it will be a team fight this time. She seems to be able to talk so I wonder if she will respawn to the other players and freak them out.
I know little about Fate but after no one could pull the sword from the stone didn’t people decide to hold a tournament to pick who would be king. Is Artoria disrupting a tournament and being the prize for it a reference to that?
I can’t wait for what comes after the tournament too. I’m super excited for The Unholy Guild War. I had an idea for how things could go. Maybe you already have a plan and don’t care about what I think. Really you might not care about anything I’ve ever said but it is fun to come up with ideas so I’m going to say it anyway.
In the original there were 41 members in the guild so with Emiya along with Destana and Sigfrida that would make 44 this is the number I’m working off of. The guild would be split into 5 teams. I’m not the best at names so you can replace the names with cooler ones.
Counter attack team. This team will go around attacking other guilds to draw people away. If people’s guild base is being attacked then they will want to divert forces to defend it which means less to attack Nazarick. This team will have 9 members and 1 heroic spirit in it but can ask for help from friendly Heteromorph guilds. Because they know someone is scouting out Nazarick they can pay the friendly guilds to scout out human guilds. This will make it look like other guilds are planning to attack, not Nazarick. They can have plans of attack for each ready.
The Counter team will start with small guilds as it will take time to get people online and to full strength. If a guild base is destroyed then everyone has a symbol on their name which everyone attacking Nazarick will see. As more and more people have it, more people will panic that their base will be next. The smaller bases may not have much but they will still have gold that will be useful to the other teams. Plus even small guilds will have a few World class items and they will probably have left one at their base. One won’t be a lot but if the Counter team hits a dozen bases it will add up and all those items will help in the defence of Nazarick and attacking more guilds.
Once the Counter team is at full strength and has allies they will hit a guild base for one of the guilds attacking them that is bigger than them. Not only will the bigger guild have more resources to fuel the defence of Nazarick but with a larger number of people in the guild even more people will have that symbol over their head. Sure those who lost a guild base will fight harder but everyone else will want to give up. Also by destroying a guild bigger than them Ainz Ooal Gown will move up in the top largest guild rankings.
Sabotage team. This team will be outside of Nazarick and they will kill enemies as they try to get to Nazarick. This team will have 9 members and 1 heroic spirit in it. Every player they kill outside will be one less that needs to be killed inside. They will pick them off or spawn-kill them if they can. If I remember right there are level 80 to 85 mobs around the Tomb of Nazarick. So the Sabotage team can trigger the mobs and lead them to the enemy players to slow them down and make them waste magic and healing items. Maybe hire mercenary mobs.
They could aggro mobs for other realms and use portals to bring them to outside Nazarick. They could ask neutral players to lure the mobs from other places there as they really aren’t getting that involved. If they do this around the guild bases Counter team is going to attack it will also make their lives easier. They could even get some World Enemies involved. Volcanica could like being in the chaos this would create so could help. Maybe she wants to repay Shirou for a good fight or maybe wants a date with him so she helps. Other players could be paid with item drops from enemies to help directly too.
Re-stab team. This team will have a way to get to the 1st floor without anyone noticing. There has to be ways to reset the traps and mobs in the guild base even if it costs gold. So after a wave of enemies clears a floor this team will come up from behind and reset everything so the next wave has to do it all over again. If Re-stab catches up to the enemies they will attack them from behind and catch them in a pincer. But none in Re-stab are meant to die so if pushed they will retreat. This is so they are free to repeatedly reset the floors. Either the attackers will have to leave players behind to hold the floors they took or set up teleporters to bypass them. Either way the enemies waste resources. This team will have 9 members and 1 heroic spirit.
Defence team. This team will stay in Nazarick and hold off the invaders. They will have 16 members and 2 heroic spirits. This team will be split into three smaller units. Only 2 will be fighting at any one time with the third being in reserve. When one defending team is running low on health or mana they will switch with the reserve unit. The brief moment when the defenders numbers double will help push the enemies back. After that the fighter unit will rest and recover then act as the new reserve until needed. Many times in history keeping troops in reserve was a good idea as they are well rested and can put their all into a fight. That mech guy that Warrior Takemikazuchi fought could want to fight alongside an honorable fighter so he helps.
Support team. This team will jump around helping each of the other teams with unexpected problems. It will have 1 guild member, aka Shirou, and 2 heroic spirits. Shirou will have some kind of teleporting item that lets them bounce between the other teams.
The human mind can only think of so much at a time. While attacking they are going to be thinking ‘If I die am I going to be spawn killed? If I don't, am I going to be attacked on the way back to the fight? If I get through will I have to fight through the same floors again? If not, will it matter if my guild base is destroyed?’
Meanwhile everyone in Ainz Ooal Gown will only have to think about what goal the team they are on has. Having some members leave Nazarick is risky but fortune favors the bold.
Even with all this some invaders might still get into the Throne room. If so Shirou would use unlimited blade works to save the day. Is that his ultimate power and it lets him summon all his weapons? I’m guessing it would take 100% of his MP and he can’t use magic for 24 hours afterwards.
Omake idea: Shirou’s kitchen. It’s like Hell’s Kitchen but Shirou is the one yelling at everyone. It’s a good thing Momonga doesn’t have taste buds as he would commit seppuku with how bad it is. Destana shouldn’t have kids because her food will kill them. Buku might as well jump in a bowl as she would probably taste better than the jello she made. Pero got feathers in his soup and Shirou can’t even look at him. Pero says “I can do better dad”. Shirou is so disappointed he walks away saying he doesn't have a son anymore. Pero falls to his knees and cries.
I’ll admit I liked the fight. It was different enough from the other rush down opponents and the destroying platforms was interesting. I’m looking forward to the next chapter. Dark Artoria looks like she will bring some unique tricks to the table. Plus it will be a team fight this time. She seems to be able to talk so I wonder if she will respawn to the other players and freak them out.
I know little about Fate but after no one could pull the sword from the stone didn’t people decide to hold a tournament to pick who would be king. Is Artoria disrupting a tournament and being the prize for it a reference to that?
I can’t wait for what comes after the tournament too. I’m super excited for The Unholy Guild War. I had an idea for how things could go. Maybe you already have a plan and don’t care about what I think. Really you might not care about anything I’ve ever said but it is fun to come up with ideas so I’m going to say it anyway.
In the original there were 41 members in the guild so with Emiya along with Destana and Sigfrida that would make 44 this is the number I’m working off of. The guild would be split into 5 teams. I’m not the best at names so you can replace the names with cooler ones.
Counter attack team. This team will go around attacking other guilds to draw people away. If people’s guild base is being attacked then they will want to divert forces to defend it which means less to attack Nazarick. This team will have 9 members and 1 heroic spirit in it but can ask for help from friendly Heteromorph guilds. Because they know someone is scouting out Nazarick they can pay the friendly guilds to scout out human guilds. This will make it look like other guilds are planning to attack, not Nazarick. They can have plans of attack for each ready.
The Counter team will start with small guilds as it will take time to get people online and to full strength. If a guild base is destroyed then everyone has a symbol on their name which everyone attacking Nazarick will see. As more and more people have it, more people will panic that their base will be next. The smaller bases may not have much but they will still have gold that will be useful to the other teams. Plus even small guilds will have a few World class items and they will probably have left one at their base. One won’t be a lot but if the Counter team hits a dozen bases it will add up and all those items will help in the defence of Nazarick and attacking more guilds.
Once the Counter team is at full strength and has allies they will hit a guild base for one of the guilds attacking them that is bigger than them. Not only will the bigger guild have more resources to fuel the defence of Nazarick but with a larger number of people in the guild even more people will have that symbol over their head. Sure those who lost a guild base will fight harder but everyone else will want to give up. Also by destroying a guild bigger than them Ainz Ooal Gown will move up in the top largest guild rankings.
Sabotage team. This team will be outside of Nazarick and they will kill enemies as they try to get to Nazarick. This team will have 9 members and 1 heroic spirit in it. Every player they kill outside will be one less that needs to be killed inside. They will pick them off or spawn-kill them if they can. If I remember right there are level 80 to 85 mobs around the Tomb of Nazarick. So the Sabotage team can trigger the mobs and lead them to the enemy players to slow them down and make them waste magic and healing items. Maybe hire mercenary mobs.
They could aggro mobs for other realms and use portals to bring them to outside Nazarick. They could ask neutral players to lure the mobs from other places there as they really aren’t getting that involved. If they do this around the guild bases Counter team is going to attack it will also make their lives easier. They could even get some World Enemies involved. Volcanica could like being in the chaos this would create so could help. Maybe she wants to repay Shirou for a good fight or maybe wants a date with him so she helps. Other players could be paid with item drops from enemies to help directly too.
Re-stab team. This team will have a way to get to the 1st floor without anyone noticing. There has to be ways to reset the traps and mobs in the guild base even if it costs gold. So after a wave of enemies clears a floor this team will come up from behind and reset everything so the next wave has to do it all over again. If Re-stab catches up to the enemies they will attack them from behind and catch them in a pincer. But none in Re-stab are meant to die so if pushed they will retreat. This is so they are free to repeatedly reset the floors. Either the attackers will have to leave players behind to hold the floors they took or set up teleporters to bypass them. Either way the enemies waste resources. This team will have 9 members and 1 heroic spirit.
Defence team. This team will stay in Nazarick and hold off the invaders. They will have 16 members and 2 heroic spirits. This team will be split into three smaller units. Only 2 will be fighting at any one time with the third being in reserve. When one defending team is running low on health or mana they will switch with the reserve unit. The brief moment when the defenders numbers double will help push the enemies back. After that the fighter unit will rest and recover then act as the new reserve until needed. Many times in history keeping troops in reserve was a good idea as they are well rested and can put their all into a fight. That mech guy that Warrior Takemikazuchi fought could want to fight alongside an honorable fighter so he helps.
Support team. This team will jump around helping each of the other teams with unexpected problems. It will have 1 guild member, aka Shirou, and 2 heroic spirits. Shirou will have some kind of teleporting item that lets them bounce between the other teams.
The human mind can only think of so much at a time. While attacking they are going to be thinking ‘If I die am I going to be spawn killed? If I don't, am I going to be attacked on the way back to the fight? If I get through will I have to fight through the same floors again? If not, will it matter if my guild base is destroyed?’
Meanwhile everyone in Ainz Ooal Gown will only have to think about what goal the team they are on has. Having some members leave Nazarick is risky but fortune favors the bold.
Even with all this some invaders might still get into the Throne room. If so Shirou would use unlimited blade works to save the day. Is that his ultimate power and it lets him summon all his weapons? I’m guessing it would take 100% of his MP and he can’t use magic for 24 hours afterwards.
Omake idea: Shirou’s kitchen. It’s like Hell’s Kitchen but Shirou is the one yelling at everyone. It’s a good thing Momonga doesn’t have taste buds as he would commit seppuku with how bad it is. Destana shouldn’t have kids because her food will kill them. Buku might as well jump in a bowl as she would probably taste better than the jello she made. Pero got feathers in his soup and Shirou can’t even look at him. Pero says “I can do better dad”. Shirou is so disappointed he walks away saying he doesn't have a son anymore. Pero falls to his knees and cries.
12/15/2024 c18 HelpingHand
The tournament was good but it feels like Shirou only fought rush down enemies. The first guy was similar to Takemikazuchi so if they fight it is more of the same. Volcanica was more speed than defence but she was still all attack. It would be nice if we got to see who else they fought. Like people want revenge so when the guild is under attack they join to get even with Shirou and Takemikazuchi. But they end up fighting others and their friends remember how the fight in the tournament went so they can deal with them.
Like a healer that can undo all damage done to them fights Bukubuku. Both are tanky in a way. Someone could have a sniper duel with Pero. This way the reader learns more about the tournament and there are consequences from it. It isn’t just a one and done thing, we see its effect on Nazarick.
Omake idea: Power of the weeaboo. Warrior Takemikazuchi lost his match with the mech guy so Shirou has to fight them in the last round. As soon as the match starts he activates an emergency beacon. Seconds later a full size Gundam lands behind him and he gets in. Shirou now has to fight the Gundam. He tries but loses. Shirou asks to buy the Saber card but the winner used a spell to transmute it into something more valuable. A body pillow of Artoria. Shirou cries at the card being gone.
The tournament was good but it feels like Shirou only fought rush down enemies. The first guy was similar to Takemikazuchi so if they fight it is more of the same. Volcanica was more speed than defence but she was still all attack. It would be nice if we got to see who else they fought. Like people want revenge so when the guild is under attack they join to get even with Shirou and Takemikazuchi. But they end up fighting others and their friends remember how the fight in the tournament went so they can deal with them.
Like a healer that can undo all damage done to them fights Bukubuku. Both are tanky in a way. Someone could have a sniper duel with Pero. This way the reader learns more about the tournament and there are consequences from it. It isn’t just a one and done thing, we see its effect on Nazarick.
Omake idea: Power of the weeaboo. Warrior Takemikazuchi lost his match with the mech guy so Shirou has to fight them in the last round. As soon as the match starts he activates an emergency beacon. Seconds later a full size Gundam lands behind him and he gets in. Shirou now has to fight the Gundam. He tries but loses. Shirou asks to buy the Saber card but the winner used a spell to transmute it into something more valuable. A body pillow of Artoria. Shirou cries at the card being gone.
12/14/2024 c17 HelpingHand
Considering Fanfiction net has a tendency to delete stories randomly it’s a good thing the story is up elsewhere. But I'm not really a fan of Spacebattle. I much prefer AO3. Be nice if it was added there as another backup.
Before I mentioned if the guild got new members then they would add new NPCs but now I’ve thought about it more I think they would add mobs too.
Chest mimics from Dark Souls would fit right in with Nazarick. A chest that will eat you if you try to open it would be best on the top floors, 1 to 3. Though there could be a bigger one that mimics a house that people can walk in. It would be able to step on people when standing up.
Slime paratroopers. They would lack color and be see through. They would have an item that negates fall damage. They would have silenced weapons and be good at stealth. Owls are quiet when flying so giant owls will take the troopers to the mission AO. They could be called Slime Berets.
Mechs on the 5th floor. They would be mechanical terrors rising from the ice and snow. They would be piloted by something very fast so if the slow mech is destroyed the fast pilot can get out and be the opposite to the strong mech. Maybe cyborgs like Raiden from Metal Gear. From what I’ve read of other Overlord fics, cyborgs have suppressed emotions. So these could all keep one emotion like the 7 deadly sins but also things like joy, creativity, passion and romance. They would also need a name. The 7 saving virtues perhaps. The pilots would be higher levels than the mechs so if the mechs can’t win they will have softened up the enemy for the pilots.
There could be something like the Leviathan from Atlantis the Lost Empire movie. It was mechanical too.
Phoenixes that respawn after dying as they rise from the ashes. I think the 7th floor is lava so they could be there. A young one can sit on Demiurge’s shoulder. An adult phoenix and elder phoenix will be bigger than him.
Maybe something like the swarm host from Starcraft that can just keep spawning creatures. Or a giant crab with an artillery cannon on its back. Maybe some Automatas that act like HK from the Knight’s of the Old Republic games and call all living beings Meat Bags. There should probably be some humans somewhere but I don’t know what they would be good at.
There could also be something that can combine together. Like there could be a serpent on every floor that can combine into a hydra. When it comes together it will have all of the levels and stats of each serpent combined. So if 2 have 50 physical defence then the hydra will have 100. This will make all the serpents have different strengths and make the hydra have all its stats be 100 or greater.
The hydra would have other features added too. Like if one serpent has wings then the hydra will have wings on its main body so it can fly. Another will have legs so it can walk as well. I guess that serpent would be more of a centipede. One will have a regeneration factor that lets it heal stupidly fast. A ghost serpent would have it move through walls when the hydra wants to. Maybe each serpent has an element to them as well so different heads of the hydra have different ways of attacking.
I guess the one on the 10th floor could be disguised as one of the stone pillars in the Throne room. Each would retreat before they die and heal so if someone gets past the Throne room they will merge into the hydra in the Treasury. I guess if all the serpents were level 100 then the hydra would be level 1 000 which would be a bit OP so each serpent could be the floor they are on times 10. So floor 2 serpent would be 20 then floor 3 would be 30 and so on. Therefore the hydra would only be level 550.
Though it does seem a bit boring for the 1th, 2nd and 3th floors to all be the same. If new players are entering the guild, maybe they could replace the 3th floor with a dark cyberpunk theme so it is still all run down. A cyborg serpent would be cool.
Omake idea: Liquid Courage. Shirou was nervous before the tournament so had a few drinks to calm down. He gets drunk so needs to fight as a drunken master. He wins the tournament and kisses Bukubuku at the end. When he gets the Saber card he tells the world he is building a harem and there will be another tournament. The top women will join that harem. Instead of being angry, Bukubuku says she will win the whole thing so everyone knows she is the queen bee.
Considering Fanfiction net has a tendency to delete stories randomly it’s a good thing the story is up elsewhere. But I'm not really a fan of Spacebattle. I much prefer AO3. Be nice if it was added there as another backup.
Before I mentioned if the guild got new members then they would add new NPCs but now I’ve thought about it more I think they would add mobs too.
Chest mimics from Dark Souls would fit right in with Nazarick. A chest that will eat you if you try to open it would be best on the top floors, 1 to 3. Though there could be a bigger one that mimics a house that people can walk in. It would be able to step on people when standing up.
Slime paratroopers. They would lack color and be see through. They would have an item that negates fall damage. They would have silenced weapons and be good at stealth. Owls are quiet when flying so giant owls will take the troopers to the mission AO. They could be called Slime Berets.
Mechs on the 5th floor. They would be mechanical terrors rising from the ice and snow. They would be piloted by something very fast so if the slow mech is destroyed the fast pilot can get out and be the opposite to the strong mech. Maybe cyborgs like Raiden from Metal Gear. From what I’ve read of other Overlord fics, cyborgs have suppressed emotions. So these could all keep one emotion like the 7 deadly sins but also things like joy, creativity, passion and romance. They would also need a name. The 7 saving virtues perhaps. The pilots would be higher levels than the mechs so if the mechs can’t win they will have softened up the enemy for the pilots.
There could be something like the Leviathan from Atlantis the Lost Empire movie. It was mechanical too.
Phoenixes that respawn after dying as they rise from the ashes. I think the 7th floor is lava so they could be there. A young one can sit on Demiurge’s shoulder. An adult phoenix and elder phoenix will be bigger than him.
Maybe something like the swarm host from Starcraft that can just keep spawning creatures. Or a giant crab with an artillery cannon on its back. Maybe some Automatas that act like HK from the Knight’s of the Old Republic games and call all living beings Meat Bags. There should probably be some humans somewhere but I don’t know what they would be good at.
There could also be something that can combine together. Like there could be a serpent on every floor that can combine into a hydra. When it comes together it will have all of the levels and stats of each serpent combined. So if 2 have 50 physical defence then the hydra will have 100. This will make all the serpents have different strengths and make the hydra have all its stats be 100 or greater.
The hydra would have other features added too. Like if one serpent has wings then the hydra will have wings on its main body so it can fly. Another will have legs so it can walk as well. I guess that serpent would be more of a centipede. One will have a regeneration factor that lets it heal stupidly fast. A ghost serpent would have it move through walls when the hydra wants to. Maybe each serpent has an element to them as well so different heads of the hydra have different ways of attacking.
I guess the one on the 10th floor could be disguised as one of the stone pillars in the Throne room. Each would retreat before they die and heal so if someone gets past the Throne room they will merge into the hydra in the Treasury. I guess if all the serpents were level 100 then the hydra would be level 1 000 which would be a bit OP so each serpent could be the floor they are on times 10. So floor 2 serpent would be 20 then floor 3 would be 30 and so on. Therefore the hydra would only be level 550.
Though it does seem a bit boring for the 1th, 2nd and 3th floors to all be the same. If new players are entering the guild, maybe they could replace the 3th floor with a dark cyberpunk theme so it is still all run down. A cyborg serpent would be cool.
Omake idea: Liquid Courage. Shirou was nervous before the tournament so had a few drinks to calm down. He gets drunk so needs to fight as a drunken master. He wins the tournament and kisses Bukubuku at the end. When he gets the Saber card he tells the world he is building a harem and there will be another tournament. The top women will join that harem. Instead of being angry, Bukubuku says she will win the whole thing so everyone knows she is the queen bee.
12/10/2024 c16 HelpingHand
You say your story isn’t good but I feel like you think that because you wrote it. I’ve heard the person most critical of something is the person who made it. You know you can do better so you think it isn’t good enough but no one is perfect and what people make isn’t ever going to be perfect. It won’t be easy but try to accept your work with the flaws it has and keep moving forwards anyways. Learn what you can from your mistakes and try to do better in the future. But know it’s never going to be perfect and you’re never going to be perfect. And both are ok.
I have found great joy from reading this story. It is in my top 10 stories I’ve read. Not fanfictions but stories in general. This chapter made me teary eyed. I’ve never seen Fate so I don’t know anything about Shirou but I want him to be happy and stop being an idiot. You’ve done a good job at making me care about a lot of the characters. I enjoy the story and from your author notes you enjoy writing it. So maybe try to focus less on what could be and focus on more what you have. Though considering I still have chapters to read you have written more so maybe everything I said was pointless as you already know that. Oh well.
More people joining the guild sounds interesting. Will we get to see more NPCs? That could be cool. In my last comment I said Destana could make a muscular barely clothed Saiyan woman who loves Momonga but now I’ve thought of more.
Sigfrida could make an NPC for Peroroncino. She would have a hot school teacher look with glasses and pencil skirt. She would be a mage artillery build so she is in the back with Pero firing off magic spells. I’m assuming Sigfrida is close range to compliment Pero. The NPC has a whip as a weapon. With her physical stats it doesn’t do much damage but it stops someone from activating an ability or spell for a few seconds. So if anyone gets close to her she can take away their abilities.
I feel like Cocytus is lonely on the 5th floor. So there could be a white Werewolf with him. When in a human form she would have a tail that wags when she is happy. I’m not the best at names but I would call her Snowball. Like Cocytus she will focus on physical damage but has less defense and more speed. But she would have an item in her inventory that was only meant to work in one quest that brings objects to life to fight for you. There will be an army of snowmen on the 5th floor she ‘made’ that she can bring to life. In the new world she would be slower than a summoner but with enough time to make things before a fight she wouldn’t use any mana in a fight. Since others are getting them she could be a waifu to Warrior Takemikazuchi. Though that would make her more of a mother to Cocytus.
If there are more members to the guild there needs to be a cat girl NPC with ears and a tail. You know … because they are gamers. She would be an assassin. And bunny girl which could go two ways. Either cute and shy or suggestive and outgoing. Unless there are two, maybe sisters? I see the outgoing one wearing a top hat with a magician outfit as she doesn’t pull a rabbit from a hat as she is the rabbit. She would use illusion magic and portals. Maybe the shy one would be a summoner and healer. Working together the summons can have duplicates in illusions. When injured they can be portaled back to heal.
A fox girl with a sniper rifle. She can have one pet with her at a time. Like a glowing blue fox for fighting or a black bird for scouting. She would have traps in her inventory she can set up. Maybe a bear girl? She would be taller than all the players. It would make sense for her to be a tank but it would be more unexpected if she was all speed.
A cowgirl? Or is that too close to Albedo with her horns? If there is one then for some reason I see her as Nora from RWBY. Despite her small size she is a tank. With a cowgirl at least Nazarick would always have milk. Don’t look at me like that, you know someone on the internet would put that in the flavor text. Though some of the level 1 maids might have to be swapped to cowgirls to make enough milk for all of Nazarick.
A friendly and cheerful vampire cyborg girl. Her cyborg parts can produce blood so she doesn’t need to drink any. She would be able to hack things even if that would be useless in the new world. Though she could have drones. She could be the dedicated tour guide for the tomb. Probably throw in a samurai too. Maybe a spell-sword build with magic and weapon skills.
Maybe a guy like Reaper from Overwatch with two shotguns. As a wraith he could move through walls. He can take peoples’ souls and use them for more powerful attacks.
Girl that looks like Jessica Rabbit with a great singing voice. She could be in the Underground Lake of the 4th Floor and act like a siren. Using her voice to put people to sleep or make them attack each other. She would live on a crashed sailing ship but the inside is nice. I think she would be a demon with a high positive karma. Someone as smart as Demiurge but caring. Maybe they could end up dating or maybe she ends up with Ulbert. According to the Wiki there is a water park in the tomb so she can be a lifeguard there too and wear a swimsuit instead of her red dress.
Momonga said one day he could introduce his kids to games so what about the others who already have them? Maybe Touch Me’s daughter makes Snowball so Cocytus can have a mother on top of Warrior Takemikazuchi being his father. Be funny if Touch Me’s wife makes the bunny girls for him and they love him. It would be a joke the ladies of the guild have so she rolls with it. Maybe Ulbert’s kid would make Reaper.
If others get waifus then Yamaiko should get a husbando. Maybe Sebas? I feel like before the servers shut down they will all be in the throne room getting in one last tease. So Yamaiko says Momonga has her blessing to date all the battle maids. Then someone asks who Yamaiko gets and she leans on Sebas and says him of course. If Touch Me is ok with it and he says he is.
I’ve enjoyed the Omakes so far. There could be one where after getting all the others he finds a Hero class card. Using it summons a Female version of Shirou. Some say it might just be his sister but then she says something about justice and everyone says it is Shirou. He grumbles about how he doesn’t sound like that. Peroroncino asks if Shirou slept with her would that count as incest or masturbation? He then says he must meditate deeply on this. He then sits cross legged with his hands on his knees palms up. Everyone looks at him weird then Destana breaks the silence by saying at least Shirou has some nice tits.
You say your story isn’t good but I feel like you think that because you wrote it. I’ve heard the person most critical of something is the person who made it. You know you can do better so you think it isn’t good enough but no one is perfect and what people make isn’t ever going to be perfect. It won’t be easy but try to accept your work with the flaws it has and keep moving forwards anyways. Learn what you can from your mistakes and try to do better in the future. But know it’s never going to be perfect and you’re never going to be perfect. And both are ok.
I have found great joy from reading this story. It is in my top 10 stories I’ve read. Not fanfictions but stories in general. This chapter made me teary eyed. I’ve never seen Fate so I don’t know anything about Shirou but I want him to be happy and stop being an idiot. You’ve done a good job at making me care about a lot of the characters. I enjoy the story and from your author notes you enjoy writing it. So maybe try to focus less on what could be and focus on more what you have. Though considering I still have chapters to read you have written more so maybe everything I said was pointless as you already know that. Oh well.
More people joining the guild sounds interesting. Will we get to see more NPCs? That could be cool. In my last comment I said Destana could make a muscular barely clothed Saiyan woman who loves Momonga but now I’ve thought of more.
Sigfrida could make an NPC for Peroroncino. She would have a hot school teacher look with glasses and pencil skirt. She would be a mage artillery build so she is in the back with Pero firing off magic spells. I’m assuming Sigfrida is close range to compliment Pero. The NPC has a whip as a weapon. With her physical stats it doesn’t do much damage but it stops someone from activating an ability or spell for a few seconds. So if anyone gets close to her she can take away their abilities.
I feel like Cocytus is lonely on the 5th floor. So there could be a white Werewolf with him. When in a human form she would have a tail that wags when she is happy. I’m not the best at names but I would call her Snowball. Like Cocytus she will focus on physical damage but has less defense and more speed. But she would have an item in her inventory that was only meant to work in one quest that brings objects to life to fight for you. There will be an army of snowmen on the 5th floor she ‘made’ that she can bring to life. In the new world she would be slower than a summoner but with enough time to make things before a fight she wouldn’t use any mana in a fight. Since others are getting them she could be a waifu to Warrior Takemikazuchi. Though that would make her more of a mother to Cocytus.
If there are more members to the guild there needs to be a cat girl NPC with ears and a tail. You know … because they are gamers. She would be an assassin. And bunny girl which could go two ways. Either cute and shy or suggestive and outgoing. Unless there are two, maybe sisters? I see the outgoing one wearing a top hat with a magician outfit as she doesn’t pull a rabbit from a hat as she is the rabbit. She would use illusion magic and portals. Maybe the shy one would be a summoner and healer. Working together the summons can have duplicates in illusions. When injured they can be portaled back to heal.
A fox girl with a sniper rifle. She can have one pet with her at a time. Like a glowing blue fox for fighting or a black bird for scouting. She would have traps in her inventory she can set up. Maybe a bear girl? She would be taller than all the players. It would make sense for her to be a tank but it would be more unexpected if she was all speed.
A cowgirl? Or is that too close to Albedo with her horns? If there is one then for some reason I see her as Nora from RWBY. Despite her small size she is a tank. With a cowgirl at least Nazarick would always have milk. Don’t look at me like that, you know someone on the internet would put that in the flavor text. Though some of the level 1 maids might have to be swapped to cowgirls to make enough milk for all of Nazarick.
A friendly and cheerful vampire cyborg girl. Her cyborg parts can produce blood so she doesn’t need to drink any. She would be able to hack things even if that would be useless in the new world. Though she could have drones. She could be the dedicated tour guide for the tomb. Probably throw in a samurai too. Maybe a spell-sword build with magic and weapon skills.
Maybe a guy like Reaper from Overwatch with two shotguns. As a wraith he could move through walls. He can take peoples’ souls and use them for more powerful attacks.
Girl that looks like Jessica Rabbit with a great singing voice. She could be in the Underground Lake of the 4th Floor and act like a siren. Using her voice to put people to sleep or make them attack each other. She would live on a crashed sailing ship but the inside is nice. I think she would be a demon with a high positive karma. Someone as smart as Demiurge but caring. Maybe they could end up dating or maybe she ends up with Ulbert. According to the Wiki there is a water park in the tomb so she can be a lifeguard there too and wear a swimsuit instead of her red dress.
Momonga said one day he could introduce his kids to games so what about the others who already have them? Maybe Touch Me’s daughter makes Snowball so Cocytus can have a mother on top of Warrior Takemikazuchi being his father. Be funny if Touch Me’s wife makes the bunny girls for him and they love him. It would be a joke the ladies of the guild have so she rolls with it. Maybe Ulbert’s kid would make Reaper.
If others get waifus then Yamaiko should get a husbando. Maybe Sebas? I feel like before the servers shut down they will all be in the throne room getting in one last tease. So Yamaiko says Momonga has her blessing to date all the battle maids. Then someone asks who Yamaiko gets and she leans on Sebas and says him of course. If Touch Me is ok with it and he says he is.
I’ve enjoyed the Omakes so far. There could be one where after getting all the others he finds a Hero class card. Using it summons a Female version of Shirou. Some say it might just be his sister but then she says something about justice and everyone says it is Shirou. He grumbles about how he doesn’t sound like that. Peroroncino asks if Shirou slept with her would that count as incest or masturbation? He then says he must meditate deeply on this. He then sits cross legged with his hands on his knees palms up. Everyone looks at him weird then Destana breaks the silence by saying at least Shirou has some nice tits.
12/4/2024 c14 HelpingHand
Those are interesting skills the invaders used. Could Ainz Ooal Gown make an NPC with them? Even if they aren't a player, they have a pure command class build that helps the guild players out.
The Dragon ball reference is funny. Though I’ve only seen the abridged, I like it a lot. Is Momonga’s girlfriend going to make an NPC at some point? Be funny if it was a human with a cosmetic item that gave her a tail. Then her flavor text would say she was a Saiyan and that every time she dies she gets stronger. Maybe she is in love with Momonga as a joke. She wants to be a baby factory for him so Destana can have more kids without needing to give birth. She also wants to pleasure Destana when Momonga is busy. Though Destana adding some angels to the lower level mobs would be nice too.
Last chapter there was a spear that can kill dragons right? That would be useful in the new world. Also if flavor text becomes real there should be a joke weapon in the game that is awesome in the new world. A shovel that teleports whoever is hit to the last hole it dug. Sending them to their grave. Or a fly swatter that has a terrible attack but does double damage every time it hits the same person. Thus letting it do exponential damage over time.
Those are interesting skills the invaders used. Could Ainz Ooal Gown make an NPC with them? Even if they aren't a player, they have a pure command class build that helps the guild players out.
The Dragon ball reference is funny. Though I’ve only seen the abridged, I like it a lot. Is Momonga’s girlfriend going to make an NPC at some point? Be funny if it was a human with a cosmetic item that gave her a tail. Then her flavor text would say she was a Saiyan and that every time she dies she gets stronger. Maybe she is in love with Momonga as a joke. She wants to be a baby factory for him so Destana can have more kids without needing to give birth. She also wants to pleasure Destana when Momonga is busy. Though Destana adding some angels to the lower level mobs would be nice too.
Last chapter there was a spear that can kill dragons right? That would be useful in the new world. Also if flavor text becomes real there should be a joke weapon in the game that is awesome in the new world. A shovel that teleports whoever is hit to the last hole it dug. Sending them to their grave. Or a fly swatter that has a terrible attack but does double damage every time it hits the same person. Thus letting it do exponential damage over time.
11/12/2024 c19 gularadato
Man i really hope you have not abandoned the story, it is so good. If you wish to stop writing it can you atleast get to the point where shirou decides to what to do with his life? Story is leading up to that point so well.
Man i really hope you have not abandoned the story, it is so good. If you wish to stop writing it can you atleast get to the point where shirou decides to what to do with his life? Story is leading up to that point so well.