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for Yoru - Gamer Between Dimensions

12/2/2018 c3 RealSaberwolf
Excellent chapter. Cleared alot of doubts for people. Now I don't have to be afraid of evil Danzo! Greatly written and good interactions. Definitely can see elements of Roots of Darkness fanfiction. Good job on characters and powers and their backstories. Do try to deviate from Roots of Darkness, like you are doing. Add your own spin to it. Overall I was VERY satisfied with this chapter. Settled alot of my fears regarding Danzo!
12/2/2018 c1 RealSaberwolf
Also you COULD in theory just update all the numbers in another story. Too much numbers you don't have to tell us. Just a basic description and few percentages are fine. Don't go into finer details. Update the status sheet if you wanna give the intricate details. Also if not that try to give the details at the end. It interrupted reading in the middle of the chapter
12/2/2018 c2 RealSaberwolf
Interesting premise. Love the story so far. That MC kidnapping and Minato on the standby is a big no though. Even if he wasn't against root, straight up letting a kid get kidnapped isn't acceptable. Induction by will is different and kidnapped labour is different. I personally feel Minato agrees when the kid is okay with joining.
Secondly please make his gamer ability a secret and no party systems. I loathe it when the UNIQUE ability of having real life turn into a game is shared. Like when the party is formed you aren't unique anymore. Know you share your ability. It does not sit with a fanfiction meant for entertainment. I hate when literally everyone is OP. Then it takes the fun out of being OP, specially when everyone is aware of the ability. I love stories where MC can hide his ability.
Thirdly please pace the MC slower this time around. Make him godlike still but a little slow. I don't want to see this abandoned like the last one cause you didn't like the pace of levelling. Chapter 2 I feel was fine.
Also please even though I know Danzo is a necessary evil. The shit he pulls isn't necessary. Literally kidnapping isn't necessary. I believe Hiruzen and Minato allowed Danzo to get kids from orphanage after consulting and ignored his kidnapping attempts from OUTSIDE the village. And can we not have MC join root. I really really really hate Danzo and root .
That's the end of my rant. Do remember it's MY OPINION. The fanfiction is yours so you could completely disregard everything I said and I would still read it till It's interesting.
11/25/2018 c1 Zedukel
Do only one chapter a week. I dont want you to rush and then have no chapters to give us one day ;)
also, Damn amazing ff my bro!
11/27/2018 c2 Kingz T. Infinity
Only 2 chapters in and I'm in love! Great story so far see, you next week can't wait
11/25/2018 c2 Maik Huttinger
Is the part where the MC gets kidnapped inspired by the fanfic “The Root of Darkness” by Amorphis760? If so, then could you also include in someway the part where the MC gets a kekkei genkai via cell infusion?
By the way, I love the interaction between the MC and team Minato. Good luck with future chapters
11/26/2018 c2 evo123457
free training get. might as well turn gamer's mind up to max or 95% until he gets free then not do something stupid like instantly turning it down by more than 5% when he decides he want his emotions back. Turn it down 1% per week or something along those lines
11/23/2018 c1 Maik Huttinger
I would love to see some time manipulation skills and maybe a life-drain or a chakra-drain skill, also some elements from warcraft would be awesome to see.
11/25/2018 c2 Jeff goldblum69
Noice
11/25/2018 c2 Ezeakel
The chapter was pretty nice.
The only thing that I disliked is our little hero kidnapping.
I hope that Minato will do something, he is a sensor after all, so he should know what happened.
After this it will be fun to make him become a Shinobi maybe you can make him a member in team Minato or make him an apprentice of kushina.
I hope to see changes from Canon events.
I know that some events need to be made to prolong the story but some events need to be changed like maybe Rin and kushina deaths.
There are one of may favorite characters.

Regarding his gamer ability, what I want to say is to make him getting level up relying in quest training and important c and above missions.
Because of what I see from most of the gamer story, the MC become overpowered only after doing some no name quest.
I am a fan of competent and OP MC but their strongth must be believable.
You can begin with him as a competent one, then develop him to be OP.

Good luck regardless.
Update faster please.

RQ: it's between the 2nd and 3rd Shinobi war not 4th.
11/25/2018 c2 karadsumet
Okay, the biggest mistake you can make right now is getting bogged down by numbers. The chapter is actually fells short because i mostly ignored most of the statistics besides the first line and i am sure most do the same. The need to describe every skill or statistic is gone now that the Gamer is no longer a new concept. Everyone knows what happens anyway so no need to explain these things. Also keep the cliffhangers to a minimum. if they occur at critical points, great. At the end of every chapter though, then it becomes a chore to read. This was just something i observed reading other fics, its just a little positive criticism. Otherwise things seem good for only two chapters.
11/22/2018 c1 xhope14x
I feel like it's a good start I wonder what the human ? Is for mmm and I wonder are we going to meet naruto soon or is he not part of the story
11/20/2018 c1 Justas
I really like some of the new concepts in this fic, like Gamer’s Mind intensity, that I haven’t seen yet. I am really enjoying this.
11/19/2018 c1 Justas
This looks REALLY good. I look forward to reading more of this.
11/21/2018 c1 Oblivious IJ
He's a werewolf! I'm calling it! I don't care if I get it wrong but my hunch says werewolf! Hmmm not gonna flame soooo...

The future is in the past... ONWARDS AOSHIMA

~ OnIJ
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