for Yoru - Gamer Between Dimensions11/23/2018 c1 Maik Huttinger
I would love to see some time manipulation skills and maybe a life-drain or a chakra-drain skill, also some elements from warcraft would be awesome to see.
I would love to see some time manipulation skills and maybe a life-drain or a chakra-drain skill, also some elements from warcraft would be awesome to see.
11/25/2018 c2 Ezeakel
The chapter was pretty nice.
The only thing that I disliked is our little hero kidnapping.
I hope that Minato will do something, he is a sensor after all, so he should know what happened.
After this it will be fun to make him become a Shinobi maybe you can make him a member in team Minato or make him an apprentice of kushina.
I hope to see changes from Canon events.
I know that some events need to be made to prolong the story but some events need to be changed like maybe Rin and kushina deaths.
There are one of may favorite characters.
Regarding his gamer ability, what I want to say is to make him getting level up relying in quest training and important c and above missions.
Because of what I see from most of the gamer story, the MC become overpowered only after doing some no name quest.
I am a fan of competent and OP MC but their strongth must be believable.
You can begin with him as a competent one, then develop him to be OP.
Good luck regardless.
Update faster please.
RQ: it's between the 2nd and 3rd Shinobi war not 4th.
The chapter was pretty nice.
The only thing that I disliked is our little hero kidnapping.
I hope that Minato will do something, he is a sensor after all, so he should know what happened.
After this it will be fun to make him become a Shinobi maybe you can make him a member in team Minato or make him an apprentice of kushina.
I hope to see changes from Canon events.
I know that some events need to be made to prolong the story but some events need to be changed like maybe Rin and kushina deaths.
There are one of may favorite characters.
Regarding his gamer ability, what I want to say is to make him getting level up relying in quest training and important c and above missions.
Because of what I see from most of the gamer story, the MC become overpowered only after doing some no name quest.
I am a fan of competent and OP MC but their strongth must be believable.
You can begin with him as a competent one, then develop him to be OP.
Good luck regardless.
Update faster please.
RQ: it's between the 2nd and 3rd Shinobi war not 4th.
11/25/2018 c2 karadsumet
Okay, the biggest mistake you can make right now is getting bogged down by numbers. The chapter is actually fells short because i mostly ignored most of the statistics besides the first line and i am sure most do the same. The need to describe every skill or statistic is gone now that the Gamer is no longer a new concept. Everyone knows what happens anyway so no need to explain these things. Also keep the cliffhangers to a minimum. if they occur at critical points, great. At the end of every chapter though, then it becomes a chore to read. This was just something i observed reading other fics, its just a little positive criticism. Otherwise things seem good for only two chapters.
Okay, the biggest mistake you can make right now is getting bogged down by numbers. The chapter is actually fells short because i mostly ignored most of the statistics besides the first line and i am sure most do the same. The need to describe every skill or statistic is gone now that the Gamer is no longer a new concept. Everyone knows what happens anyway so no need to explain these things. Also keep the cliffhangers to a minimum. if they occur at critical points, great. At the end of every chapter though, then it becomes a chore to read. This was just something i observed reading other fics, its just a little positive criticism. Otherwise things seem good for only two chapters.
11/22/2018 c1 xhope14x
I feel like it's a good start I wonder what the human ? Is for mmm and I wonder are we going to meet naruto soon or is he not part of the story
I feel like it's a good start I wonder what the human ? Is for mmm and I wonder are we going to meet naruto soon or is he not part of the story
11/20/2018 c1 Justas
I really like some of the new concepts in this fic, like Gamer’s Mind intensity, that I haven’t seen yet. I am really enjoying this.
I really like some of the new concepts in this fic, like Gamer’s Mind intensity, that I haven’t seen yet. I am really enjoying this.
11/19/2018 c1 Justas
This looks REALLY good. I look forward to reading more of this.
This looks REALLY good. I look forward to reading more of this.
11/21/2018 c1 Oblivious IJ
He's a werewolf! I'm calling it! I don't care if I get it wrong but my hunch says werewolf! Hmmm not gonna flame soooo...
The future is in the past... ONWARDS AOSHIMA
~ OnIJ
He's a werewolf! I'm calling it! I don't care if I get it wrong but my hunch says werewolf! Hmmm not gonna flame soooo...
The future is in the past... ONWARDS AOSHIMA
~ OnIJ
11/19/2018 c1 Alpha Eclipse
The story has a lot of potential, and the writing is good. So long as he doesn't get some kind of harem, this story is on the right track. Also, try not to abandon it.
The story has a lot of potential, and the writing is good. So long as he doesn't get some kind of harem, this story is on the right track. Also, try not to abandon it.
2