Just In
for The Jinchuuriki Alliance

4/15 c3 Demented Life
This chapter was brutal with the separation. Definitely not the best chapter to read at work
4/16 c1 Mavsynchroid
To be honest, I found this hard to continue. My main beef with the writing is that none of the characters actually act like they should. Sasuke shouting in tandem with sakura to annoy kakashi? Picking up Naruko in a bridal carry? Pretty much falling for her after like three sentences? Sakura going from nervous and unsure of herself to calling sasuke duck butt?

All characters actually ended up having pretty much the same personality, which was the author's. She or he needs to work on character personalities instead of just giving them all the same one.

Also needs to work on fleshing things out. The hokage's response to finding out about the naruko he knew not been even being real simply didn't make sense. It was pretty much a simple "I see. So how do we hide it?" and "welcome to the village, even though you're pretty much a stranger and won't give any details of where you've really been in the last 10 years. You're not a security threat at all. "

Anyway, that's what is making this fiction hard to read, as it simply doesn't feel believable for a story taking place in the naruto world. Story of this comes off as harsh.
8/6/2023 c21 Guest
I dead bro?
1/25/2023 c21 skullmassman
is this ever going to get continued
1/4/2023 c4 breasiaaap
i dont see the outfit
6/3/2022 c3 25vtorx
"my my my..." how the hell are you making kurama behave like a woman that's kind of disconcerting
3/21/2022 c21 WorldInGray
I need more SasuNaru moments 3 they are the best
9/8/2021 c21 1Night-5kyy
when is the next chap?
7/13/2021 c8 5Planar-Walking-Entertainment
Wait… that line… “But i do know that i have a particular set of skills. Skills that i cultivated over my long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you!” XD Red death fan i see! I love that phrase!
7/13/2021 c7 Planar-Walking-Entertainment
Well, that was an interesting meeting. *hears sakura’s question* oh, I don’t know… maybe because she lived with them for ten years while you only knew a clone?
6/17/2021 c3 XDXDD
that's it I'm out, fuck with naruko talk no jutsu sasuke. it doesn't make sense. sasuke literally saw his family and clan died by the hands of his brother then put into a genjutsu to be tortured. and you expect sasuke to be just fine with it just by naruko slapping him and talking bs like she knows all the shit and pain of the world? fuck outa here
3/15/2021 c21 ArgentiSolis
The writing is overall quite good. But in sense of characters I can't say much. Naruto whilst a wonderful character, she seems to be the kind of character where the plot falls at her feet. Another issue I had was how easily Naruko broke Sasukes defences. She said she lost family, despite the fact that she can find them one day whilst Sasuke saw the death of ALL his family and was tortured under a genjutsu. It just seemed unrealistic. Plus there's the whole curse of hatred thing going on. I like Sakura and Hinata but their development was quite sudden. Also the way Naruko knew EVERYONE was so so unrealistic, think this through how many of them would actually have the time to meet her, half of them were in T&I, others were chuunin. The only people I can see meeting her are people who hung out with Kakashi. I'm sorry if these seems too harsh which is not my intention. I just want you to realise you could write much much better. Sorry and thank you for the read
3/8/2021 c1 Justinho14
Keep updating please ! It’s a great read and FanFiction I love it
12/11/2020 c21 mmha
Amazing chapter I can’t wait to read more
10/27/2020 c5 12gadman85
The only part about this chapter I felt was "bad" is how you put too much focus on the fangirl argument. You could have had it happen in the background and it could have actually worked. Instead, it was front and center and overly detailed.

I do like this fic so far, though it felt like the changes in characters were far too quick. I can understand wanting to get them over and done with, but it could have been paced a little better. Sakura being different from her canon self could have also been a little better explained instead of her just not becoming a stalker fangirl.

I really liked the whole part about Naruko being raised with the other Jinchuriki. You did handle that really well, even when you switched in the canon ones with the previous ones to fit the timeline. The way you handled it showed how close they all were and emphasized this is the world of Naruto. It is not all happy-go-lucky, but you didn't bog your story down in the depressing side either.
145 Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service