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for A Rose over a shallow grave

6/19/2019 c7 5Crimson Weresloth
Finally someone who understand the reading and writing disability with autocorrect!
6/17/2019 c27 Carre
"Hoi".
A person who looks like Carre, but at the same time not like him, sits before you all.
Maybe becuse this one looks like a walking skeleton (think "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" kind).
"I am Carre (same nick-name mind you) from a AU future (1000 years, give or take) and as you proboly can tell, I am LONG dead...
Part of a group called the Mentors, becuse we teaching... someone I am not allowed to tell...
Get to the point: Living Carre is still groggy after the "Battle of Beat the Crap of Jaune" (wich he have no regrets whatsovever be part of) and asked me to make the Review.
Just wanna mention before hand:
1) I am on the same page as "him"/"me" about Jaune.
2) HOWERVER the REASON him/I lost temper about Jaune wasnt about the marriage.
It wasnt about they (Pyrrha and Jaune) had sex.
...IT WAS ABOUT THE FACT THEY MADE A DJÄVLA P-VIDEO AND THEN BROADCASTED THAT MOVIE FOR ALL THE DJÄVLA FÖRBANADE WASTELAND WICH MAKES ME SEE RED!
(...Dont care it was accedential or not...)
Anyho, now we have that done, lets get started.
3. Thanks for answers Raul (and Wombag), both me and our Student/God-daughter likes youre "Hombre(?)"-outfit you have in the Game.
4. Uh, so thats how Veronica got out of the Ultra-Lux.
Want kinda know more...
5. Boone shooting at Jaune (Go Boone!): Makes me think of "Mario, Luigi and the Mask" episode 13 by TimeLordParadox. I highly recomend it to watch that series by the way.
Crossover of the Mario and Luigi Games with the Comic and Movie the Mask (with other things included). Exisxts on Youtube.
6. Nightstalker pup name: ...The name Rusty stuck for me...
7. ...Wierd that Arcade, with his knowledge, didnt make a comment about Rubys nickname (Daughter of Brutus). At least for me.
8. ...Little suprised that no "grown-up" will follow them to Zion.
And that they (Ren, Ruby and Nora) didnt have a chat with their fellow caravaners.
Perheps in the next chapter (muttering"dont remember myself")(the chatt with their fellow travelers)?
9. "Well thats all, nice to be back to the Time when I was alive and all, but I must get back to work.
So! Keep-"
"Is it true?" a cold British voice was heard.
Its voice so cold that Muspielheim could have frozzed over in seconds. It was a voice of Death.
It was a voice of a 8-years old girl.
From the sidelines, unseen.
Carre, who had become rigid as a statue and dripping cold sweat turned (in the sound of rosty hinges) to the speaker, who stood outside the "picture".
"Well, hey there Th-" he began greet nervously, but got interupted by a roaring typhoon of Death-energy
"IS. IT. TRUE?!"
Silence, until Carre giggled nervously, answering
"Well, you know what one saying goes, "Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted" ri-" when Carre went rigid again.
"...Jaune and Pyrrha made a P-video and Jaune sent it out Live so everyone in the that AU-Earth could watch..."Carre said, schratcing his undead head.
Silence agian. Until the voice of the girl was heard
"...I am going to send Jaune to Hell!" and footsteps was heard, walking away.
"And dont worry, it will only be tempory and he (and any witnesses) will not remmember anything... At least, not until then he "going in" for good" shouted and evily giggled the girl.
Carre sits and stare after the Girl walking away, until he sighs tiredly "...Kids..."
"And likes she said Mr Wombag and other Jaune-fans, dont worry, Jaune will be gone only for a few (mortal) minutes and no damage done." (Carre choughs akwardly here, while a girlish scream, wich sounds like Jaune, eachos.)
"As I was saying: Keep up the Good Work (Thumbs Up!).
See ya" and walks away.
6/15/2019 c27 8RedRat8
Time for Ruby to go on her first adventure, without Six I see. Shame that Six didn't go with them, be interesting to see Six talk with Graham. And maybe find the Survivalist's Rifle.
6/14/2019 c27 22Luckenhaft
Now back to Mr. & Mrs. Arc.

What I took from that intro: Nora's beginning her takeover of New Vegas, Jaune and Ren do increasingly absurd favors for Red Lucy, 2 lesbians have some 'fun' getting tied up and gagged by some cannibals and Weiss stumbles into these shenanigans, Pyrrha has resolved to get giggity with Jaune on every bed she can find and Six deals with an overly affectionate baby nightstalker, I am very impressed Jaune was able to screw up that badly, and Red Lucy helps JNPR become closer as a team and as friends.

Ruby tries chatting up Six's old 'friend' and accidentally stumbles onto the plot of the next DLC for this story.

Jaune manages to get the shower before Weiss does. This can only end painfully for him.

Gannondoc has joined our party. Let the confetti fly! (It starts raining as children begin cheering whilst Six glares at me.)

By the way, Weiss stay away from the shower. You don't want to go in there.

Oh cool. The wanted poster. (I don't think I can make a big funny skit out of it this time around. Sorry.)

What did Ruby do that could be considered Live Sexual Indecency?

At least they know Nora's an angel.

Huh. Caesar unintentionally helps Ruby reacquire another old friend.

Hooray for suddenly irresponsible parent Six.

Scratch that. Logical parent Six.

So that's how Jaune getting the shower first will come back to bite him in the ass whilst involving Weiss.

This can only end with Weiss murdering Jaune and then getting murdered by Pyrrha. Or they resolve things wonderfully and have a threesome. (Cue the sounds of Weiss retching into a garbage can.)

That second outcome doesn't seem so likely. It was nice knowing Jaune, and Weiss. At least Ruby will have Penny, and Pyrrha could always turn to Nora.

At least that wanted poster is being productive for something besides getting mocked at by me.

I am somewhat worried about if Nora intends to eat those pancakes when they make it back.

And so Ruby's Rootin Tootin Wild West Adventure begins. I have a goos feeling that nothing is going to go wrong and this'll be a nice, quiet, and relaxing vacation getaway for RNR. Provided Nora and Ren don't keep everyone up with their inevitable booping.

Nothing could possibly go wro-

(The screen goes dark as a gunshot is heard, someone yells ambush, gunfire, screams, more gunfire, and then heavy breathing that slows before stopping completely.)

I a
6/14/2019 c27 Zombiedudecolletti
Damn now the only thing we 40k fans can do is send the Ultrasmurfs but only for the Emperor so far I have been pleased.
6/14/2019 c27 1leeconnor4297
ch26 was hilarious as f. and for ch 27 im kinda concerned about how they got a video of them 2 doing it
6/14/2019 c27 captaindickscratcher
So Nora left her bra behind? Oh poor Ren especially if Nora decides to keep warm by snuggling up against him every night during the month long trip. Hmm I hope Ren doesn't try the old classic 'accidentally falling face first into her chest' gag during combat.

well as long as he can get away with it.

DAMMIT BLAKE SPORE PLANTS ARE NOT CATNIP! MMMKAY
6/13/2019 c27 TheHatter1
-The Camera turns on revealing a sleeping Hatter covered in blood in the middle of Old Mormon Fort, Chibi comes into view with a box labeled "In case of Hatter", this of course being written in Arcade's handwriting, the box falls on Hatter's head-

"AHHHH FRANCINE I DIDN'T MEAN IT DON'T BURN THE HATS!"

-Hatter proceeds to freak out about that one time in the Atomic Wrangler, everyone has one of those, EVERYONE-
-8 and 1/2 minutes later-

"Now that Chibi has finished assaulting me with 20 pounds of medical supplies, we can get started, apparently Little Red, Supreme Leader Nora, and Ren are heading into Zion, while the rest of the crew are doing whatever a character does when they aren't the focus of an arc, we'll have to get a hold of our station in Zion with Mossy the Sentrybot and his sidekick Tim from Accounting to hear more of the expedition."

-Hatter begins scrounging through the box, eventually pulling out a premade Addictol needle-

"You'd think they'd have figured out how to make it an aerosol instead of mixing unstable drugs together until something works"

-He jabs it into his arm while yelling somethings that the network had to censor-

"Anyway hopefully I didn't accidentally do something stupid while I was out of it like start a gang war, fill the sewers with Deathclaws spray painted green, or convince a group of squatters to worship a traffic cone, because I cannot go back to New Reno after last time. Of course while I was out Chibi probably got into some delivery hijinx with her side job with the Mojave Express"

-Flashback-
-Chibi is seen with a bunch of packages taped to her while mounted with a cutout of Neo in a postal worker's uniform, Raul's shack is in the background with a suspiciously normal box siting on the porch, a Deathclaw is seen signing for a package labeled "Ritual standard Silk Robes"-

-Flashback 2: the Flashening-
- a hatless Hatter is seen in New Reno running from the Shark Club with a more simplistic Chibi and Bruce Issac in tow, while is reloading a double barreled shotgun, a bowler hat is seen floating to the ground with a massive hole in the side, a fire breathing Wanamingo is seen tearing through the Cat's Paw Brothel as they run by-

"Believe it or not we had nothing to do with the Wanamingo, we just set fire to the Jungle gym and may or may not have kidnapped a Super Mutant in a business suit, and it seems we're out of time, join us next time with our Zion branch Mossy and Tim, Bye for now"

-Hatter falls backwards unconscious-
6/9/2019 c26 Carre
1. Thanks for answers and discusions.
2. a) Hanlon: Yeah, I agree there (he being NOT a idiot).
b) RVB: Meaning Red vs Blue?
Heard of it (and heard from a Fic that the creator of RWBY was the one behind that too).
c) Brutus: The guy who killed Ceasar (Julius)? (Well, beside a bunch other senatores.)
"Et tu Brutus?" from Shakespeare? (...I think its was name of a quest too in the game?)
One of three wich the Devil Himself is chewing upon in Hell (the second One is Judas, while the Third... dont remember) in Dantes Divinia Comedia?
That Brutus? Yeah, can see the irony there...
3. Nice moment betwen Weiss and Ruby in the begining.
4. a) Party: ... Happy I wasnt there...
b) Raul is here (Yeah!)!
c) (Carre looks at Nora) "...Syrup..?"
In the end Carre just shrugs "...Heard wierder..."
5. Jaune and Pyrrhas adventures:
a) ...Ok...
b) The Marriage: "...What. The. F. ...?!"
c) The P-video:...Carre sits Staring at the events... Then stands up and leavs for a sec.
Sounds are heard and things are thrown (a helmet, a pirate-flag, boxes etc).
In the end Carre shows up again with a chainsword and bolt rifle (compare it with a grenade launcher) (both weapons from Warhammer 40 000) his face unreadible...
6. "...Keep Up the Good Work (Thumbs Up!) Wombag, now if you excuse me..."
Carre walks away, while he power up the chainsword, shouting "Hey Weiss!
Save some for me of Jaune will you, please?"
6/7/2019 c26 Guest
Please give Jaune back his ring finger, he may need it in the future. ; )
6/6/2019 c26 Guest
Wow Jaune out of them all was the first one to lose his virginity, to bad for him he doesn't remember any of it so in a way he's still a virgin mentally.
6/8/2019 c26 captaindickscratcher
Oh please after Jaunes performance on the video please make it a running gag that he now has to fight off every impressed horny female from raiders, vault dwellers, NCR troopers, slavers, girls from Gomorrah, white gloves and omertas, the thorn even ghouls and deathclaws.

Jaune walks into a bar, all the guys start applauding...

Then draw their guns.
6/7/2019 c26 22Luckenhaft
Now back to Ooh! Church bells! That can only mean something delightful like a marriage. Or an incredibly disliked relative/person's funeral.

Ruby tells Weiss about the shitstorm that was Nipton.

Unhelpful advice time: Sometimes the world needs monsters hiding in the dark, so bad guys and evil people know to stay in line lest the monsters get them.

More unhelpful advice: There are two kinds of heroes in life.

The ones who make the world a better place by beating the bad guys and serving as a paragon of virtue to inspire others to better themselves.

And then there are the heroes who stop the world from becoming worse than it already is by making sure the bad guys can't poison it anymore with their evil, whilst discouraging people from worsening themselves.

Ruby could be one of those heroes. She's already going around with the whole Reaper aesthetic. Why not go all the way, girl?

Weiss: (Glares.) Not helping!

Oh, it was just a party. I thought Jaune, Pyrrha, and Lily went on a rampage against some Super Mutants and Nightkin that were being a nuisance since I forgot what this place was.

And now Zwei's destiny of being spare parts for Rex has been achieved.

Zwei: (Glaring at me.) Ruff!

Why do people keep showing up in my review booth?

Zwei: Grr! (Starts gnawing on my leg, prompting me to stand and reveal the leg he is gnawing on is a Ghoul's severed leg.)

Hopefully Raul won't mind Zwei borrowing that. I imagine Ruby, Yang, or Tai were here, they'd scold you for this. Fortunately I'm like Qrow and Raven who wouldn't care. So chew away, Emergency Rations.

Zwei: (Ignores me as he bites into the leg, though he resolves to later bite me on the butt for that nickname he shares with Jaune.)

Back to the review where I wasn't wrong about the start. Some poor bastard did get married. Hopefully, he got his bachelor party that ends with him waking up the morning of the wedding tied to a cactus in his underwear with some doggo looking to nibble at his junk whilst some random floozy left her phone number written on his chests in lipstick.

What? That happened to a relative of mine.

For a second I was wondering how Rex is okay wearing a hat, but then Ruby cleared up that confusion.

Poor Pyrrha. I can't believe some skanky hunter girl cucked her and married her man. I bet she was a soulless redhead. I guess that will show Pyrrha for taking forever to balls up and get her man.

I'm starting to think she might be into other women having their way with her man. I wouldn't kinkshame her if she was.

Oh dear. Ruby doesn't know what socks on doorknobs mean. Qrow has failed as a corruptive influence for her!

Oh cool, it's Raul.

...

I don't regret the fact that wasn't on purpose.

Aww! Jaune and his blushing redhead bride whose totally not Pyrrha have adopted a little baby. Possibly through killing it's parents. Meanwhile Tabitha is wandering around the Wasteland with Rhonda telling people stories of the Curbstomp Queen Spartan who demolished her Super Mutant army before it could become an actual threat to anyone, singlehandedly whilst Jaune, Lily, Jaune's new Waifu, and their baby watched.

Aww! I want to find out who Jaune's new Waifu is. I wonder if Penny has somehow ended here. Or maybe Cinder, since she loves getting one up on Pyrrha and would only go after Jaune to cuck Pyrrha and make her feel insignificant.

By the way, I wonder where Pyrrha is?

Not Syrup, but venomous. Hmm... Syrup is sweet, and a google search and this article I found says snake venom taste like wet chicken feathers which is unhelpful since I don't know what wet chicken feathers taste like.

I think it's name should be something associated with venom.

Toxin? Acid? Poison? Smog? Assbiter? Bigger Snake Than Jaune's? Okay, those last two may have not had much to do with venom. How about Eddie?

Time for granduncle Raul to tell us a story.

Oh, Oum! Pyrrha Nikos lost Jaune to a green-yed redhead named Pyrrha Nikko who is a curbstomp queen like her. She must be this world's version of Pyrrha!

Well at least one Pyrrha got with Jaune. (I turn to Mr. New Vegas.) Have I run the joke into the ground yet? (He nods.) I've driven it all the way to China? (He nods again.) Good.

Drunk Jaune is petty awesome. Maybe he should become a Drunken Bastard. (This was an obligatory fanfic reference.)

Jaune got his finger reattached, right?

Poor Weiss. She can't handle the girl she had a powerful ladyboner for was as straight as her spear and wanted Jaune's sword stuck into her sheathe.

I feel bad for Jaune's ass though. Given Pyrrha's fixation with it.

Bad dog snake thing! Well looks like Jaune is going to have to either gain his Semblance and regrow that finger, (Should be very much feasible for him.) or get a mechanized replacement that could double as a lighter, tazer, vibrator, laser gun, flashlight, can opener, lockpick, knife, laser pointer, silenced pistol, and etcetera.

So off to the Big MT with him for the honeymoon.

Honestly Weiss, I'm pretty sure Pyrrha fucked Jaune.

And it isn't really your place to interfere in their relationship given how often you rebuffed Jaune's (admittedly annoying) attempts at courting you.

Darn! Maybe Pyrrha was lying to save Jaune's balls since she will need those.

If Weiss does do that, then Pyrrha should respond with the following: Carve a new hole into her with her spear and give her a frontal colonoscopy with said spear.

Seriously Weiss, stay the fuck out of Pyrrha's love life.

Not helping Raul. That's not love Raul. That's toxic fangirlism.

Nora, that's extreme even if I agree that any man who pulls that crap should get a cleeted steel toed boot stomped on their groin at the least. You should know Jaune well enough to know he wouldn't and doesn't have the balls to try something like that with Pyrrha or any girl. Drunk or otherwise.

That is the stupidest possibility I've ever heard. Where would Jaune get roofies. It's the post-apocalypse. They started the night at a ski lodge in the mountains with a bunch of Super Mutants and one doctor who would probably not have or give Jaune that shit.

And that looks consensual.

Weiss, your overreacting.

This feels like my joke earlier about another Pyrrha stealing Jaune from Pyrrha.

At least Nora is willing to get Jaune and Pyrrha the Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties they deserve.

And Weiss fucks things up worse. Who does she think she is, Cloud Strife from TeamFourStar's Final Fantasy VII Machinabridged?

Looks like Six is doing Boone's Loyalty Mission. Unfortunately his presence with his idiot kids would be needed for Jaune's sake. And Pyrrha's as well in regards to getting as much use out of Jaune's sword and stones.

Okay, that sounds very consensual.

And this has become hilarious again thanks to the Legion 'disapproving' of this. So it's redeemed itself.

The consensual levels of that video are OVER 9000!

Hey look! It's Cass.

The amount of consensuality in that video is reaching unprecedented levels of Pyrrha giving Jaune consent.

Oh, it can always get worse, Cass.

On the bright side, at least everyone in the Mojave and possibly other parts of the Fallout world will have it imprinted into their virgin mind that Jaune and Pyrrha are an OTP that shall not be torn asunder. (Unless Cinder roasts Pyrrha.)

Once Pyrrha comes down from her high of knowing she got her man and then the mortification of the whole Wasteland seeing her and Jaune consummate their union, she's more than likely going to carry out that suggestion I offered her earlier.

At least Ruby will have Penny to turn to you for a potential girlfriend.

Looks like I'm going to scrounge some caps together for a somewhat tacky yet awesome Pip-Boy.

Given how we don't know the intracacies of a Faunus's biology and how different it could be from slight external differences, Blake very well may be able to lay eggs in people that hatch into what you describe.

This is the same thinking that has led me to conclude Superman is packing some Cthulhu tentacles under those tights for Lois Lane. My mother seems to disagree with that conclusion for some reason.

I a
6/7/2019 c26 AutisticBoi
HILLIARY TRUMP?! GOD THE FALLOUT UNIVERSE JUST GOT 1000 TIMES DARKER.
6/7/2019 c26 AutisticBoi
Syrup? Did You Get That From The Pet Deathclaw In Pit Stop?
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