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for Into the Storm

2/28 c1 1hpntheman
Absolutely love this story
2/28 c26 3rylek196
Not gonna waste any time and just get into this. This is probably the best chapter yet from this story, as everything was pretty much on-point. I’ll start with the battle.

That was a damn, damn well-written battle. It was a perfect mix of action and strategy, while doing a good job showing off Gorigan’s ruthlessness. From calling Pokemon ‘assets’ to using EQ on a knocked-out Walrein(!) he’s a BRUTAL fighter.

Honestly, it’s chapters like this that make me wonder if I should have allowed mid-battle switching in my story, but I guess it’s too late now. *shrugs* Anyway, Micheal’s win felt EARNED, not handed to him on a silver platter. And Liz, feeling useless... I admit, she hasn’t really done all that much in this story, but perhaps she needs to talk to May to cheer her up. Hey, at least she hasn’t been a tied up and gagged damsel-in-distress yet. XP

Okay, what the fuck. I’m gonna assume it was complete and utter bullshit and a total bluff that all of Cipher’s Pokemon on Citadark are level 90 at the lowest, because if it’s true... congratulations, you just wrote yourself into a corner there is NO getting out of. AFAIK, the highest-level Pokemon carried by a grunt of an evil team in a Pokemon game was the Krookidile used in the Relic Castle in BW’s POSTGAME. And that thing was only level 63! How the hell are the protags even supposed to BEGIN to prepare for teams 30 levels beyond that!?
12/8/2020 c25 19BraviaryScout
A chapter well worth the wait. I was expecting Alicia to yeet Zook into the toxic waste, but a good old fashion kick to the jewels will do just fine. Liz is on a rampage today, first kicking his sorry ass, then beating up that bitch she knew from school. And now she's about to face Gorigan.

This ought to be good.
Brav
12/7/2020 c25 2kskandury
Aha! You're uploading again! I'm obviously a bit behind on keeping up with your chapters (and reviewing them) but I have to say that this is certainly wonderful to read, and a great pick-me-up after finishing my finals. The way you write scenes is incredible, really. I can really picture this stuff in my head. But, I think that this story won't connect to me in the same way that Brendan's Journey did simply because I didn't play the games, but your writing does a good job in overcoming that. Your battles and visual details are the selling point of this story and your strong suit, but I think that the dialogue does come across as a teensy bit 1-D or cheesy. I may be wrong on this, but, perhaps it would be more natural if people spoke in fragments and phrases occasionally rather than complete sentences all the time (just because I've read that that's often a detail people miss in writing versus normal speech, but you be the judge mate). I can't wait for your next chapter!
12/4/2020 c1 1HelloYellow17
Uh, another Orre fic?! Don’t mind if I DO, then! There are not enough of these out there, and this one already looks so promising!

However, I haven’t read your prequel story before this - should I read through that one in order to have an understanding of this one? Or is this mostly a novelization of XD with extra steps? Either way, I’m happy to check out either one, as I adore Hoenn as well!

Can’t wait to read more of this :)
9/8/2020 c24 19BraviaryScout
I don't think I reviewed this so...here goes. Sorry it got out so late.

Nice way to show Snagem's interests align with Michael's for the time being. They may be a band of thieves, but it's a little odd and pretty cool to see that even they have standards. The battle with Gonzap is easily the highlight of the chapter. That part where you added the Seismitoad was awesome, showing Michael's unfamiliarity with new species he hadn't encountered before. That's one thing a lot of poke authors overlook; the fact that their characters may not know as much about different pokemon as the authors themselves and this shows Michael is one of those people...so nice touch on making it realistic.

Brav
8/14/2020 c24 3rylek196
“Used to go toe-to-toe with Wes.” My ass he did. More like Wes kicked his ass six ways to Sunday. I guess it’s appropriate then that Micheal’s battle against Rider Willy was so short and not much to write home about- it wasn’t meant to be.

The real meat and potatoes, of course, were the battles with Snagem, and sadly... yeah, I was confused through most of them. Much as I hate to say this, I couldn’t make heads or tails of who had what Pokemon, due to the nicknames. There’s a good reason why Hilbert, Bianca, and Cheren are the only Trainers in my story to give their Pokemon nicknames: it cuts down IMMENSELY on the confusion. Sure, it’s a little weird, because inevitably the question of why only those three nickname their Pokemon will gets asked, but it’s a worthy trade-off, in my book.

At least the character interactions were good. I kinda like Gonzap- he tries to be this big bad gang leader, but deep down he’s a softie. Then there’s Alicia’s lack of connection with Micheal. I’m willing to bet this has something to do with the remaining vestiges of whatever process Cipher used to make her a Shadow Pokemon, but I could be wrong...
7/28/2020 c13 DexH0lderYellow
Chamomile? Dang, we got Chuggaaconroy references everywhere! A for effort and making my day. Emile was the first Youtuber I watched and have loved all of the effort he puts into his videos, and you in your incredible Fanfics. Thank you.
7/5/2020 c22 2kskandury
It is a both a blessing and a curse that children have horrible attention spans: I would hate for May to have to explain to a five year old where kids come from. You attention to character building continues for characters that aren't even the main anymore, like Gwen and Brendand, and I admire your dedication. 26-year old millionaire parents have a much different demeanor than a racy 18-year old, and you convey that here both in how Brendan sounds calmer and mature and how Gwen shows protectiveness over Alicia even when Michael didn't mean to say any harm would come to her.
Now, I have to be honest, I've never played the Orre game and I haven't seen playthroughs, so your depiction of the game is all I got to work with. That being said, I have a feeling you're working with a storyline that is overflowing with battling while you're still trying to pull them into a cohesive and readable plot. You've done an awesome job with poor base-material, and I really like how you've these fleshed out characters to accomplish that.
You're revealing pictures of Cipher and the enemies here, like the Snagem team using trying to the Sleep Powder Method and cipher having a giant Pokemon with wings really gives these villains a slow-burn feeling that's great for a long story. I'm glad I get to read this man, keep writin' for us!
6/12/2020 c23 19BraviaryScout
Whew, finally finding a point to actually take a breather and review this damn thing. Sorry this came out even later than I said I promised.
Alicia's own quavering after she revealed part of the true nature of the torturous horrific things done here is certainly bone-shaking and nerve wracking. The fact that Gwen notices something wrong is another showing of how powerful you've made the Ralts family in familial bonds.

Wow. Not much writing done on Wes, but we can clearly see the respect he gets just from his mere presence. Nice of him to help Michael out.

Seeing Liz with a Togepi makes me happy. I know she'll take excellent care of it and maybe she'll get to keep it once it's fully purified.
Lastly the XOver is gonna be epic. Love the little bits of Alola's storyline woven in, Alicia's awe at her mother having battled Strongside and even Nett into the livestream. I'm hyped as ever (because the Alola story is by yours truly) to get this one out and actually have our separate casts interact together for the first time.
Brav
6/8/2020 c23 3rylek196
Hoo boy, this is a long one, and a lot happens in it, to boot. First off, I have to admit, the twist of the guy in the S.S Libra being with Cipher was something I genuinely didn’t see coming, so good on you there.

As admittedly jealous as the crossover between this story and AHHK makes me (given how I did, for a fleeting moment, have the same, only for it to be cruelly ripped away) it DOES flesh out the world and add a lot of... interconnected texture to it, for lack of a better term. I can’t say it’s a bad thing, all in all.

Moving on to Gwen and Alicia’s conversation... Honestly, Gwen is right. Alicia does need to tell someone about the fact that she’s not totally 100 percent purified, both because it’s common sense to do so and because from a storytelling perspective, it’s kinda getting contrived that she hasn’t yet.

Also, Wes actually shows up! Though it was only a brief appearance, bordering on a cameo, but dammit, it’s good to see him at least.

Damn you, Chuggaa... I can’t read Miror B’s dialogue without my brain automatically putting your voice in there... Either way, the battle was good, and you’ve been improving those since the start of the story. And... oh, no. Rider Willie, ladies and gentlemen... The world’s most pathetic Trainer, he who makes Youngster Joey look like a demigod of Pokemon training... Joy. Looking forward to seeing Micheal kick his ass.
6/7/2020 c3 8imaginair
Interesting start. Poor Alicia getting tortured and turned into a Shadow Pokemon... I'm guessing Michael and Liz will help rescue her. I'll admit that this was a little harder to read, not because it wasn't well-written but because I've never played Pokemon XD. I'm assuming that Michael and Liz are the protagonists in the games, but I was confused by the exposition of who Wes and Team Snagem is. The idea of Pokemon being turned evil is pretty interesting and terrifying. I also found it interesting that you've included Orre in the overall Pokemon World maingame series since you have references to Lusamine and, obviously, Hoenn.

I'll admit that the Alicia scenes are my favorite since I know her from Brendan's Journey. It's interesting so far though.
5/6/2020 c22 19BraviaryScout
Another fantastic chapter. This really brings out Alicia's inner turmoil of her darker self which lingers even after being purified. This is where I think her character arc is going to seriously shine and how she will overcome it with Michael's help.

Eldes with that nod of respect. Something Ardos doesn't do. Real recognizes real.

Guess it's a bit of a cliffhanger now. I'm guessing we're going to get more drama and danger as they find themselves losing their Snag Machines! I hope they get out of this okay...but something says probably not so.
Brav
4/22/2020 c22 3rylek196
Big wait for this one, but that just means we, the readers, get a big chapter. Lots happened here, too. First off, May's preggers again! :D:D:D It's great to see those characters to see how their lives are going after their adventure. It makes it more realistic, After all, in real life, things don't just stop after an incredible experience. However, I did find a typo, as I'm pretty sure it was meant to be May saying this line of dialogue and not Brendan: '"Yeah, getting kidnapped is not fun, and it makes your partner act rashly to get you back," Brendan said.' As a side note, you and I know better than anyone that May ROCKED her brief role (however unwilling a role it was) as a damsel in distress. ;P

The scene with Greevil/Verich I'm indifferent to, tbh. It was a nice scene, and a good addition, but I can't find anything to really SAY about it other than that. Sorry. ;/

Thankfully, the next two scenes I CAN say things about. I know this isn't the first time we've seen the Relic Stone in this story, but it is (I think... terrible memory) the first time we've seen a Pokemon purified using it, and that was a very nicely-described scene. The character dialogue and interactions in this scene (and really, all throughout this chapter) were done very well. The scene after this, though, despite how short it was, was great. That added some much needed context for why Team Snagem just showed up outta nowhere near the Libra, and I'm sure it was something the game would have put in had it had a more fleshed-out plot.

And yes, the battle was pathetic, but it kinda had to be. There's a lot of battles in XD, and you can't put them all into a novelization without killing the pacing. The interior of the Libra, though, was well-described, but did you HAVE to make the background of the picture Lumiose? Anything related to X&Y is kind of a sore spot for me, given, well... IcyAltheon and how long he's been gone... I know it's not personal against me, but it just feels like a twist of the knife.
3/15/2020 c21 rylek196
Finally time to review this, sorry it took so long. Well, as others have said, Chobin being a guinea pig for Kaminko’s experimental devices adds a whole new layer of disturbing to that character... ‘No OSHA Compliance’ doesn’t even begin to describe that. 0_0

As for the rest of the chapter, like AHHK’s recent update, this was more a ‘calm before the storm’ (pun not intended) chapter, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t things that fleshed out the world. From people thanking Micheal and Liz to the mention of Brendan and May’s clothing line, there were plenty of interesting little tidbits that helped add more texture to the story.

The battle with Chobin was appropriately pathetic, as it should have been, but we all know this won’t be the last time we see both him and Robo-Groudon. I forget what his team is exactly by the end of the game, but I recall it being fairly powerful (aside from that Sunflora, of course...).
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