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for Touma Kamijou and the Goblet of Grimgar

4/28 c1 Dark.Lord0

Please continue this story!
10/21/2019 c1 Avid reader
Wow, the story weaving together is quite a sight to read.
4/11/2019 c1 5Kian Xki

expected Manato the warrior to backlash but Misaka is a super career counselor

Name: Manato
Age: 15~18
Job: Hero (Warrior)
Title: The Chosen One (The One Advised by Misaka)
1/12/2019 c1 The Rupture
Where's the continuation?
Hurry with the update Body.
1/7/2019 c1 Seta88
7 hours 30mins later, a great read, even if I think Manato was a Little over powered in some instances, compared to the rest of his group. I hope we will see a little more of Touma and what his role will be, in the next chapter.
12/16/2018 c1 16AltenativeFutureFan27
Damn this is good thought I haven't read Grimgar I know more about TAMI
Next chapter may focus on Kamijou? Or the plans of Espers
12/15/2018 c1 4Thor x Kamisato fan
51k words! Whew. I haven't read it yet but I did see the reviews. I will have to read to make my own opinion.
12/7/2018 c1 Guest53458957654
Well not bad but still personally feel that some characters are kinda acting OOC and because of that the story flow kinda feels forced or it might just be that some little story details are missing.

- mindcontrol
Misaki controlling people, erasing memories and not a single member of their group even bats a eye.
Even Misaki herself wouldn't be that quick to go that far anyway, she mostly reads the minds of people but downright controlling people is something even she wouldn't go for that often, maybe in situations which really require her to do that, maybe if there had been a disussion in the group where they plan how to proceed and some people share their experiences about how they have a bad feeling like the time they were tested in labs and because of that and similiar situations they have a need to gather information.

- Group relations should be different
Sure maybe Hamazura, Accelerator, Misaka feel indebted to Touma and that feeling might still exist even after they lost their mmeories but for other members who barely know him to not think about having their own groups, not to forget the possiblity like some of them distrusting each other so much they all go their own way.
Things like Touma being suddenly interested in Misaka or Index also kinda seem strange what with him being mostly a fan of older woman but I get it, of course this are the ships you like, so will let it slide

- missing morality and ethics
even if mindcontrol gets accepted to a lesser degree how immediately killing of monsters got accepted that just felt wrong.
At least if remember right those monsters in Grimgar like goblins are portrayed as living and thinking creatures, not RPG mobs to kill and loot.
In the original setting this only worked because they were forced to do that to survive and then got used to their new lifestyle.
But here especially with all that power and various skills the members of their group possess, why is it needed. Also strange was that characters like Touma who truly wants to help everyone and not let anyone be sacrificed, didn't speak against that.

- IB but no misfortune at all
So Touma has still IB but not a single accident happends, like he goes outside to buy osmething to find out his pouch has a hole with him being pennyless or anything like that?
Not a single event like that?
So imagine breaker is now just a convenient tool and nothing else...

- Story feels extremely simplified
Not only the way everything is described but also how it flows just feels somewhat simple, all problems get taken care of, no real danger, no conflicts, any possible intervention of the kingdom or whoever controls those borders - no problem everyone got mindwiped.
Normally even that would have left traces anyway, the sudden arrival of this powerful group would have created rumors and so on. It is not like Misaki can just mindwipe everyone and they will live forever in peace.
As if that wasn't enough any damage they may have suffered previously has been healed through a miracle, Accelerator has again limitless power or at least the sister network shouldnt be able to support him through dimensions, Touma remembers Misaki and so on.

- Haruhiro and co's role
Of course with Kamijou's group many things would change and no problems with them wanting to protect other people but this just seemed like one of those mary sue OC fics, which basically are all about "Look how my OP characters can do everything and the orgiinal canon cast is only in the fic so that they can be constantly in awe of them.
Basically the same problem as previously, no negative feelings, no distrust, alienation what with nearly everyone being a esper or magician while they alone have no special powers.
Now even they barely have to feel any danger and even when they did try their hand at killing something bigger they had Saiai with them who is still one of the stronger espers.

Well don't misunderstand me it is not like I am going to critize you for wanting to write what you want, it is just that I think your story could be alot better if you improve some small little things.
12/6/2018 c1 Guest
You wrote a really long story that I had to skip ahead to the ending. And why a crossover with Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash? That's not even a good crossover, and everyone losing memories except their names and each others' is just too weird.
12/6/2018 c1 S3vEn
Super interesting crossover, I can't wait for more chapters!

I love the interaction between index and grimgar characters.
12/6/2018 c1 Fortitude501
The Touma and Misaki moments here are a gem to behold. So worth the read. Now kiss you two.

BTW when you type the disrobe part about Misaki, was she naked with Touma or did she have her underwear on her? I'm Confused.

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