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5/17 c44 Cool Guest
Two issues:

1) Daphne had the map was the reason for Harry not been able to find her and having to talk to Hannah and Susan, but Harry told her in chapter 36:
("I'll let you use this when you are here with me. I use it and won't let you take it out of here without permission." Harry laid out his terms in a stern manner.)

In other words the terms for use where that she could investigate the map to her liking under Harry's watch.
Daphne never asked for permission to take the map, Harry didn't even know she had a breakthrough in her search for the room until Daphne gave him the Diadem.

The issue of taking the map without permission was not brought up at all. Nor any other explanation for how/why Daphne had it with her.

2) Daphne appears to be genuinely pissed and resentful during her discussion, her accusations and anger comes really strongly so when at the end she reveals that she had apparently already gotten over it and come to the decision that she would continue to pursue Harry before their conversation even started. Then all that spite and bitterness she had just shown was fake. A blunt attempt at manipulating Harry into feeling indebted to her while then also making him feel tempted for her!?

That's just not right, supposedly Harry hates been manipulated yet he appears all too happy with the way this concluded.
5/15 c41 Cool Guest
I wonder just how Daphne got into the Chamber of Secrets?

She shouldn't be able to get in by herself as she took a vow to always leave Slytherin's Locket inside the chamber before she leaves.

I can think of two ways, one Natalia could have open the entrance for her from the inside and the surprise of seen Daphne was just part of the act they put up for Harry.

Or two, she might have had Dobby "puff" her in. She did mention getting a bite to eat before coming over so she could have gone to the kitchens and done both of those things there.
5/14 c39 Cool Guest
Everyone! I suggest you might all want to skip Chapter 39.

I have to recommend it. Not because it is bad so much as because it is boring and nothing of consequence occurred.

...If you must know what happened here I summarize.

Summary: Harry had a conversation with Fleur's mom where they both decided to reveal secrets that neither had any business revealing to each other for no real reason. She told him that all Vela complete seven rituals after puberty to balance their magic and that they mate for life and just hide that by promoting rumors about them being very promiscuous. While Harry shared that his tutor was dead Salazar Slytherin, he was completing 49 rituals and parseltongue magically allow for the communication of not just rational knowledge like a normal language but also the intuitive understanding of the speaker accounting for his rapid learning.
There were hints for Harry gaining an affinity for fire if he does a ritual with Fleur, and that his own sexual orientation might be set in stone once he is done with all rituals, but nothing concrete.

Then Harry meet with his advisors and had to reaffirm that he was the one in charge and they were just allowed to help and advice. Something that wasn't even in question before this chapter so it was really much much talking just to get back to the status quo.

There, I saved you the trouble of reading a boring and entirely redundant chapter.

Your welcome!

PS: the bloody advisors somehow managed to begin filling out their Lawsuits in the evening during the few hours before Lucius death was announced from just the sudden warning from Daphne to her dad about it happening, and they never apologized for how bluntly they were lying to Harry about needing a lot more time to get it done. The whole exchange is dumb, frustrating, and unnecessary so again, just skip it.
5/13 c38 Bertha
Harry is not okay with thinking romantically about Fleur's sister who is five years younger than him and has no blood relation to; but he has no problem lusting for his Grandma's niece who is at least 17 years older than him. Probably more.

Ah-ha makes sense, checks out.
5/13 c38 Cool
(Apologies, but I ended up writing a very critical review of this chapter)

Here, Harry's streak of good luck continues. Is like all events outside of his control and sphere of influence have been continuously lining up in his favor as if Slytherin's spirit is been manipulating casualty and entropy everywhere for the sake of finally molding someone into been his ideal successor.

I mean is nice to see Harry succeed but at scenes like this when he had all the prep time and advise he could want he still had to get lucky when it really counted to get through.

If that's how it is the author could have made more sense by making Narcisa leave the door to the study open so that Harry could make it out without touching anything or having to use a floo that conveniently worker using thoughts, while invisible, without needing any powder, and that wouldn't be traceble to his identity and possibly even presence.

And why have Harry comment on a "need" to not leave any trace of his magic and then at the moment of Truth have him pull out his brand new ability to do wandless silent stunning spell, that he learned off-screen, like that apparently meant no magic was involved. Basically, that implies he could have done all sorts of wandless silent magic, particularly to touch and move move things around during his infiltration, if need be, without leaving a trace, and even if he was spotted he would be invisible and at a distance at all times allowing him to respond with subtlety in any case.

I think the parts about his teenage hormones and wanting to raid the whole mansion to the ground were fine. Tho only because I believe there is a massive gap between wanting to do those things and actually acting on those impulses. For example if he had acted on those things I would be upset if that hadn't resulted any negative consequences.

What I'm trying to say is that I like how things most often work out expectaccularly well for our protagonist, but to a point. This heist crossed that line for me due to the abundance of prep time and importantance of this calling for a more intelligent execution.

It was a certainty that Harry would succeed, the manner in which he succeeded didn't need to use plot armour in the forms of needing luck to complete his mission or a partial rewrite of the rules for how the magical world work.

But, it's okay, could be much worse, at least it didn't show blunt incompetence and/or neglect in Harry's actions while still having things work out in his favor anyway.

Aside from that, this left me wondering how many other lawsuits was Malfoy facing without even counting any from the Black already? If it was as many as it seemed the Malfoys might be completely Bankrupt before they fully compensate all offended parties and delaying those lawsuit would mean on the Black's never been able to collect all of their dues.

So that's another thing that just worked out for the best because of Harry's chooses, specifically in this case because he didn't delay longer to be done with Malfoy.
5/11 c30 Cool
I think it's a really nice touch to have Natalia exit the scene in chapter 30 by having her apparate away for the very first time in the story. Simultaneously breaking both Anti-apparition laws without a license and underage magic use laws and in a muggle area to boot!

I like it because it goes right along the messages she is trying to give, that she doesn't care about rules or any of the things her family has decided she is supposed to do anymore and has resolved to not play any more games or manipulation tools while being with Harry.

She truly shows she is feeling so vulnerable and practically demands assurance of commitment cause she can't stand being in limbo or to keep working hard for something that just might be hopeless.

So much so that she can't properly put 22 together and realize where this is going. LoL
5/13 c1 WeisseHex
I think you are a consumate writer, awesome!
5/10 c25 Cool
Whenever Fleur expresses she likes Harry and praises him because she doesn't feel him being lecherous, having lust or something along those lines I don't think she is ever using the right words.

Harry obviously has a sex drive and she knows it and she likes it!

The inference that I gather its that is not lust itself that puts her off but just a type of it.

If she used words with a more negative connotation in those instances it would make perfect sense like perverse, deviant or greed in the sense of people craving her as something to have and possess opposed as someone to love and care for.

The story doesn't clearly expresses that distinction.

As it is now the dissonance with the meaning of Fleur's words and her actitude can both be interpreted that way or... Alternatively, Harry is an immature 14 year old that gets consistently embarrassed and suppresses his sexual impulses not because he chooses to be a gentleman but because he hasn't yet grown up to accept and embrace them.

The problem with the second interpretation is that in that case Fleur should consequentially be put off when eventually Harry allows himself to be comfortable with those feelings. Which ought to happen if they ever seriously try to conceave children. What then? At that point she would be committed and would have to come to accept and understand that it's not just alright but healthy and natural for boys to feel that way, and that to her dismay and horror there was never actually bany merit in distinguishing Harry above of her other suitors due to his lack of explicit lust.

...not a bad concept for a story now that I think about it!

But I like to think that the author of this story was aiming for the first option.
5/12 c31 2blcoachmac
Do we find out why Hermione left?
5/12 c30 blcoachmac
Harry never catches a break! But then the story wouldn't be near as good!
5/11 c26 blcoachmac
That was disconcerting! But he is right, It is time to kill!
5/11 c25 blcoachmac
Keeps getting better!
5/11 c24 blcoachmac
great Chapter!
5/11 c21 blcoachmac
The twins always have Harry's back, the girls too!
5/10 c10 blcoachmac
Love it!
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