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for Healing the Scars of Your past

7/15/2020 c10 Baasan
Powerful ending. Seems to me to be even more powerful because, "She's not yet out of the well, but she's darn closer. And that is victory enough." Isn't a fairytale ending, but something real, with a real child, a real family, a real decisive win over the Ghost, a real future.

I hope justice comes. You have given the gift of something I can't find the words to describe to a lot of us.
6/17/2020 c10 summerartist
I'm so proud of you! You always have been and will always be amazing.
10/3/2019 c1 Guest

- 'Beware the Superman' Trope
- Fallen Hero (Malin Rydén)
- Irredeemable (Mark Waid)
- Kingdom Come (Mark Waid)
- Lady Justice (Ken Ogino)
- Marshal Law (Pat Mills)
- Planetary (Warren Ellis)
- Powers (Brian Michael Bendis)
- Rising Stars (J. Michael Straczynski)
- Squadron Supreme (Mark Gruenwald)
- Supreme (Rob Liefeld)
- Supreme Power (J. Michael Straczynski)
- The Boys 2019 (Eric Kripke)
- Watchmen (Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons)

EMPHASIs on Fallen Hero (Malin Rydén), Irredeemable (Mark Waid), Kingdom Come (Mark Waid), Lady Justice (Ken Ogino) and The Boys 2019 (Eric Kripke).
9/23/2019 c9 Baasan
Can't think of many things that are worse to hear than "you're so brave. What they see is me going through the motions on the outside. Me the real me on the inside knows what I feel and think, what I was groomed to feel and think and I am not sure what brave really is. Maybe it is being able to go through the motions instead of choosing oblivion. Being brave in the eyes of others, feeling like I have to live up to whatever it is that they think they see, that is too heavy for me to carry. I do know that the torn apart child who begged for opportunities to grow only to be told that my kind are too stupid for that and I am only good for one thing. That God predestined me for abuse. That child is God's child and He loathes my abuser. He carried me through to an adulthood where I help others. I am loved even when I am terrified, depressed, or going through flashbacks and nightmares and can't take the idea of my being a person of worth seriously. Maybe that is the brave bit. Keep on working it through. You connect with people like me and with yourself too on a new level.
9/4/2019 c9 11summerartist
*hugs* Oh dear, it sounds like he's putting way too much pressure on you and if he understood the effect it was having on you he would not be so callous. Though having said that, I broke up with the last guy because he would keep talking about doing me continuously even after I told him to stop and tried to emotionally manipulate me.

You are a person too and have the same rights as anyone and deserve respect.
6/23/2019 c8 summerartist
I'm so glad you are finding your hope renewed. 3 You deserve all of the happiness in the world and help and fun along the way.
6/19/2019 c8 16ColtKit Productions
That is awesome!
I'm so glad for you!
5/2/2019 c7 11summerartist
*hugs* You are not your body weight nor is any other person for that matter. You would regard me as a friend no matter my weight, eh? So please give yourself that same courtesy.

People have also praised me for being thin as a model and doctors have raised their eyebrows and tsked at my chub. I'm sorry that you have also seen both sides of ridiculous attitudes and been hurt so deeply through control. It's your soul that is beautiful to me, my friend. This vessel is yours to do with as you will and if you need time to adjust please be kind to yourself through your journey.
3/16/2019 c6 summerartist
I quite like your artwork with its imaginative and colorful qualities. Keep doing what you love. *hugs tight* My mom used to criticize my artwork too so I hid it. Those doctors were taking the easy route...having a medical degree or having a genius IQ doesn't make you good with people. You deserve so much better and good treatment.
3/9/2019 c5 summerartist
Anyone who pretends invisible illnesses and disabilities don't exist is kidding themselves big time. *hugs* People can be so blasted ignorant when it comes to assuming that everyone should be doing everything that they can. It hurts and I am sorry you have to endure such ridiculous attitudes.

You have come so far and I consider you to be one of the bravest women I've ever known. I'm sorry that your Lymes is coming back again and I wish there was some way to help. :( ;_;
3/5/2019 c5 16ColtKit Productions
It's good to see you are writing through these feelings.
Getting it out there can help a lot and it is easier to put it into the written word.

Yeah, dealing with the little voices in your head can be hard and it is unfortunate how we know we should listen to the positive voices but those aren't the loudest
2/5/2019 c4 11summerartist
Wow, you're actually facing this extremely extremely bravely. I- *twiddles thumbs nervously* I know that traumas shouldn't be compared but when I went to a therapist briefly for something I've mentioned in passing, I was completely depressed and couldn't do anything for a week after talking about it and was too scared to go back.

Please please don't hurt yourself. You are precious and a talented and amazing person. You are so very kind and you need to take time for yourself. *hugs* I know you are frustrated and nothing anyone says will change that but mental wounds take just as long as physical wounds and there's no way to half-complete it. Please reach out to someone when you're contemplating self-harm. Please.
1/8/2019 c2 summerartist
You don't need to heal. You're allowed to hide and cope away from these things if that's what you need. I'm afraid that you are nothing more or less than human. That's why I love you so as my friend. And I'm serious when I say please call, even just to chat. It would be nice to chat. *hugs*

Sorry if I've been pushy with my advice. Alas, you can only follow your own path.
1/1/2019 c1 SodiumLamp0nAHill
First off, I can't tell you how glad I am that you're a christian (or at least I'm assuming from what you've written), not only because having Jesus in corner is what's going to get you through this trial, but also because I honestly would have NO idea otherwise of how to go about giving the help you've requested.

The very fact that you're NOT wanting God to take this away from you (even though it has and is still causing a tremendous amount of pain, anguish and fear for you), is a sign of EXTREME strength and bravery! Just before He was crucified, Jesus went through something similar: He too didn't want to go thru all the pain, anguish and abandonment that making a way for us to be able to go to heaven would bring on Himself. He even went as far as asking His Father if there was ANY other way possible for it to be accomplished! It reminds me of a sermon I was listening to last week: the pastor told of an old woman he knew to that had extreme, chronic pain, and how whenever the pain would strike her and leave her crippled on her bed, she would feel that much closer to Jesus and be able to identify in some small way with pain the He went through while on the Cross. You too now a have a unique opportunity to identify with Jesus that much more: to know shame, hurt, scorn, fear, pain, and more, all for the sake of loved ones that don't seem to understand all you've endured so that they might have a better future.

You can also take comfort in the fact that there is ALWAYS someone else that has been through what you have (or similar) and more, and lived on to a happy life. One famous example that sounds somewhat similar to what you have described is the life of Louis Zamperini.

I know you're tired and just want it all to be over with, but just hang in there- there will eventually be an end to all this. You are not alone in this, there are people willing to help if you let them (even when you feel you don't deserve it): your husband, the people you've reached out to, and Jesus, just to name a few. Remember, a burden shared is a burden lessened.

These are some Psalms, songs, and Bible passages concerning trials, pain, peace, rest, etc. I hope they are a comfort to you as you read and listen to them.

Bible passages:
Psalm 3, 4, 6, 9, 10, 11, 13, 18, 20, 22, 23, 26, 27, 28, 29, 31 (there are a LOT more :))
Ruth 1-4
Job 1 (and rest of the book for that matter)

Greater by MercyMe
Flawless by MercyMe (the music video for this one is fantastic!)
Mended by Matthew West
Hello, My Name Is by Matthew West
More by Matthew West
Live Like You're Loved by Hawk Nelson
Come As You Are by Crowder
(Actually, most songs by Matthew West and MercyMe will be an encouragement)

I hope that this new year will bring you both healing & blessings. I will be praying for you my friend!
12/12/2018 c1 summerartist
You did nothing wrong. I know I do not have all of the facts and that are things you undoubtedly blame yourself for but you did nothing to encourage your assaulter and make her want you. Your siblings and family did not recognize the signs of someone being hurt and traumatized. You did everything you could to survive and protect those you love even if it meant hurting them for their own safety.

I knew someone who was assaulted and she hurt for a long time and it changed her in many ways. She left her family and moved across the country to join a Jewish community. It was still her under all of her pain, but she changed in personality and would be snappish at times, but I still saw my friend there. She has a different life to what she knew and she still struggles a lot with what she went through but some good changes happen to her on occasion and I can tell they make her happy in a way that's more than a facade. I'm not saying to be like her or to contain your rage and sorrow, which will come out in one form or another.
So please talk and rage if you can or create something as dark as you feel. I can't give you advice but I can listen.
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