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for An Empire Reborn CANCELLED

5/9 c7 Spartanhybrid1.5
Story so far is good for a character build up/backstory pilot

What if you focus on only Shephard and try to work with only her and the contents of her ship and try to follow cannon mass effect universe with a bit of destiny weapons and references thrown in example reaper ships are mistaken for agents or possibly the darkness itself buy the destiny universe humanity and the citidel council member liara tasoni got the cannon beacon message from when she visited the temple of atheme makeing the mass effect universe citadel side think the darkness is the reapers

example as a form of empire and citidel relations the newest guardian outpost on the planet that has the prothean beacon has gone dark Calus and an hour later the citidel emergecy deploys shepherd and the citidel crewmembers to the planet to find out why when they arrived at the planet they find a unknown/possible agent for the darkness “small” darkness ship (reaper sovereign) leaving orbit
9/3/2019 c7 3Marcellasnow231
You were brave to admit that your story had weaknesses. It’s clear you didn’t think things through and look at the possible weaknesses of Calus’ empire, like the fact that an emperor’s court is a hotbed of intrigue and backstabbing. Secondly the Cabal is based on the Roman Empire, which make sense when this aspect is incorporated. I recall that during Roman times many emperor were betrayed by their much more ambitious underlings, just like Ghaul did to Calus and took away his power. Now if you were to understand all of these aspect you would be able to build a more realistic and balanced empire.
9/1/2019 c7 nomad
So are you done with this story? So what's next. I rather liked your Realm of the Horned Rat there is a lot of potential there. Toads that can destroy asteroid with their minds they be unstoppable against the Reapers.
5/20/2019 c6 9Leonard Church814
I really enjoy the way you write, and if you ever need some lore speak, or just any general advice my DM’s are open.
5/20/2019 c6 2nobodyreallyimportant
I might be interested in helping out. I’ve got some irons in the fire, but I should be able to fit writing in with the other stuff.
3/11/2019 c4 9Leonard Church814
I enjoy how you personify Calus. He remains mysterious but with open arms. He holds all but one card and that’s death, but he wants to make the most of his hand. I think you really understand what he means when he says “Grow fat from strength.” I’ll keep an eye on this.
3/4/2019 c5 Variks the loyal
Great story yeeesss
2/18/2019 c1 5Narc626
Calus is a pretty cool guy. I did wonder about why he was more amused than angry we were shooting up stuff in the leviathan raid.
12/29/2018 c4 Mercenary9814
Will we see the Krogan and Vorcha having a chance to join the Empire? They're close enough for Cabal standards
12/24/2018 c4 ovrwrldkiler
A very interesting story. I'll be keeping an eye on this one I think. :D
12/16/2018 c1 Joker555888
Emperor Calus is my favorite Destiny character; it's great to see such a well written story about him and humanity joining the Cabal!
12/16/2018 c1 11Konerok Hadorak
Before I read and review, I'd like to go ahead and mention that it possesses a much better flow that story which does not break up it's content. I'm more than willing to wait a week or two extra of it means we get two or three scenes per chapter.

Also I thought your name looked familiar! Same Eipok Kruden on YT, yes?
12/15/2018 c1 Nomad
As long as you keep updating I’m fine with the length of the chapters. Keep it up
12/15/2018 c4 superpierce
Hmm.
12/15/2018 c3 superpierce
He seemed cheerful.
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