for Harry and a Vampire7/17 c1 Jakyll
its soooo bad
its soooo bad
7/8 c1 mumphie
An interesting beginning...
Why wouldn't Harry get his stuff from Grimmauld? Why wouldn't he say goodbye to Sirius an his friends? Why would the Goblins send him to a Monster school? I know this is supposed to be humorous, but it isn't logical. Why would he think that all his things were destroyed including his owl, when his stuff and Hedwig were are Grimmauld? Why would he stay when he was attacked by a vampire before he even got into the school?
I liked some of your other stories, but I think I'll give this one a pass. I hope you have inspiration for another story soon.
An interesting beginning...
Why wouldn't Harry get his stuff from Grimmauld? Why wouldn't he say goodbye to Sirius an his friends? Why would the Goblins send him to a Monster school? I know this is supposed to be humorous, but it isn't logical. Why would he think that all his things were destroyed including his owl, when his stuff and Hedwig were are Grimmauld? Why would he stay when he was attacked by a vampire before he even got into the school?
I liked some of your other stories, but I think I'll give this one a pass. I hope you have inspiration for another story soon.
5/28 c1 
9Firefly9202002
Uh how exactly would the ministry destroy Harry's stuff when it's in Grimmauld Place?
9Firefly9202002Uh how exactly would the ministry destroy Harry's stuff when it's in Grimmauld Place?
3/21 c3 1Dezzal
Your harry is weak and a coward. What is the purpose of this story. What are we supposed to even like about this.
1DezzalYour harry is weak and a coward. What is the purpose of this story. What are we supposed to even like about this.
2/21 c7 1ThePaleDarkness
There's an issue here... Avada Kedavra, the killing curse, as well as the other 2 unforgivables, only work if you really mean them. To use Avada Kedavra, you have to loathe your target enough to truly think you'd be better off with them dead.
Remember what Bellatrix Lestrange said "Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy? You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain — to enjoy it — righteous anger won't hurt me for long — I'll show you how it is done, shall I?" to use Crucio, you need to genuinely want to cause pain, to sadistically enjoy it.
It's why they are all unforgivable in the first place. Potter wouldn't be able to use Avada Kedavra, if he didn't truly understand and MEAN it. If he felt bad for killing Kotsubo, then it wouldn't have worked in the first place. The spell would have done nothing to him. I would suggest replacing that with Sectum Sempra, as you don't have to really mean that one, and it'd still kill Kotsubo... unless he didn't already know it? I can't remember the timeline too well.
1ThePaleDarknessThere's an issue here... Avada Kedavra, the killing curse, as well as the other 2 unforgivables, only work if you really mean them. To use Avada Kedavra, you have to loathe your target enough to truly think you'd be better off with them dead.
Remember what Bellatrix Lestrange said "Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy? You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain — to enjoy it — righteous anger won't hurt me for long — I'll show you how it is done, shall I?" to use Crucio, you need to genuinely want to cause pain, to sadistically enjoy it.
It's why they are all unforgivable in the first place. Potter wouldn't be able to use Avada Kedavra, if he didn't truly understand and MEAN it. If he felt bad for killing Kotsubo, then it wouldn't have worked in the first place. The spell would have done nothing to him. I would suggest replacing that with Sectum Sempra, as you don't have to really mean that one, and it'd still kill Kotsubo... unless he didn't already know it? I can't remember the timeline too well.
2/18 c3 ThePaleDarkness
Eh, i dunno about monsters being more powerful... One Avada Kedavra, and even the strongest monster is put 10 feet under.
Eh, i dunno about monsters being more powerful... One Avada Kedavra, and even the strongest monster is put 10 feet under.
2/17 c2 ThePaleDarkness
If i was Harry, i would've used Crucio or Avada Kedavra, but i'm proud of him for using any of the 3.
If i was Harry, i would've used Crucio or Avada Kedavra, but i'm proud of him for using any of the 3.
2/1 c3 Greminder
I just started reading this story and I have one very serious provlem with it.
Harry is, by my estimate, too OOC, too much like Tsukune.
Difference between him and Tsukune is that Harry was in Magical world, he knows its dangerous so then why does he behave like some naive fool who has no idea what he is dealing with?
and why does Harry after his betrayal allow anyone to get close to him this fast? After such betrayal it would be more in character to be more cagey.
unless the line about those memories from goblins not having any other effect.
I just started reading this story and I have one very serious provlem with it.
Harry is, by my estimate, too OOC, too much like Tsukune.
Difference between him and Tsukune is that Harry was in Magical world, he knows its dangerous so then why does he behave like some naive fool who has no idea what he is dealing with?
and why does Harry after his betrayal allow anyone to get close to him this fast? After such betrayal it would be more in character to be more cagey.
unless the line about those memories from goblins not having any other effect.
2/1 c2 jimmy.oz
Re reading this for like the fourth time and still a great story. just wish it had more to the ending like him with kids or something. it was still a good one though.
Re reading this for like the fourth time and still a great story. just wish it had more to the ending like him with kids or something. it was still a good one though.
1/17 c3 Kamishiro Ryuu
Я возлагал большие надежды на этот фанфик, но я не могу дочитать 3-ю главу, так как после очередного "полёта" Гарри, я понимаю, что разницы между ним и Аоно практически нет. А он должен быть волшебником, которому не нужна палочка. Слишком слабые герои, которые нуждаются в спасении совершенно не в моем вкусе.
Я возлагал большие надежды на этот фанфик, но я не могу дочитать 3-ю главу, так как после очередного "полёта" Гарри, я понимаю, что разницы между ним и Аоно практически нет. А он должен быть волшебником, которому не нужна палочка. Слишком слабые герои, которые нуждаются в спасении совершенно не в моем вкусе.
11/19/2022 c3 Vormiam Sundrake
This isn't Harry Potter. This is just that human dude from the original with Harry's name and magic that he never uses. Harry would never be friends or anything other than bitter enemies with someone who tried to rape his friends. Also, why is he just cool with that kid sexually assaulting his friend? It happened right in front of him and you even wrote that she looked horrified by it, but Harry did nothing. The only indicator that he even noticed was that he half-heartedly asked the lizard guy if he was going to do anything about it.
This isn't Harry Potter. This is just that human dude from the original with Harry's name and magic that he never uses. Harry would never be friends or anything other than bitter enemies with someone who tried to rape his friends. Also, why is he just cool with that kid sexually assaulting his friend? It happened right in front of him and you even wrote that she looked horrified by it, but Harry did nothing. The only indicator that he even noticed was that he half-heartedly asked the lizard guy if he was going to do anything about it.