for Naruto Redefined: Volume 15/24/2020 c1 GamerX568
Sorry, but the Hokage would never allow Naruto to be put in an orphanage that had even the slightest chance of it being abusive towards him.
Sorry, but the Hokage would never allow Naruto to be put in an orphanage that had even the slightest chance of it being abusive towards him.
9/4/2019 c4 Scarease
Happy bloodline will not God tear .Only reason Madara ,first Hokage ,Naruto and Sasuke become Op as hell do to being recarnations of Sages sons .Plus Naruto has the Kyuubi .
Happy your take a realistic approach to bloodlines ,doujitsu and such .
He'll God tear very difficult to reach even then only handful reach such level of power with extreme amount of training ,knowledge ,control and talent .
With tailed beast I can see them use chakra to fual the regeneration consider chair able converted into matter such wood ,earth ,water ,bone and such .becuase in the end all thing are made of energy in different forms .
My offer idea's would include detailed in different tech ,clans ,Ocs ,weapons ,cultures ,jitsu ,criminal underworld ,nobility ,economy ,landscapes and much more .
Happy bloodline will not God tear .Only reason Madara ,first Hokage ,Naruto and Sasuke become Op as hell do to being recarnations of Sages sons .Plus Naruto has the Kyuubi .
Happy your take a realistic approach to bloodlines ,doujitsu and such .
He'll God tear very difficult to reach even then only handful reach such level of power with extreme amount of training ,knowledge ,control and talent .
With tailed beast I can see them use chakra to fual the regeneration consider chair able converted into matter such wood ,earth ,water ,bone and such .becuase in the end all thing are made of energy in different forms .
My offer idea's would include detailed in different tech ,clans ,Ocs ,weapons ,cultures ,jitsu ,criminal underworld ,nobility ,economy ,landscapes and much more .
9/4/2019 c2 Scarease
make sence that greatest nations with selling art like to be wirlpool ,Konoha ,Suna .
Kumo :
being best in conductive seals to aid in lighting and in collection powe from lightning storms they're mountainous nation si known for .next to fire has largest naval force .
Suna :
like wind ,control and puppetry seals .
Iwa
Earth and explosive sealing arts .
Kiri :
Like seal reforcements their ships having second best naval forces of nations .thermal seals to protect from cold and rain that nation is known for .
Wirlpool
have smallest naval force but the best ships and most advanced jitsu cannons and guns .Plus most advanced and master of sealing arts .
Konoha
being close ally to wirlpool second in most seal advanced sealing arts when comes to berries ,sealing,trap ,and so on .Do this also like have most stuff modified ,powered ,reformed and so forth with seals .Do this like guard those secrets tightly .
So top seal user villages are Wirlpool ,Konoha ,and Suna .
Well most technological like be Konoha ,Kumo ,Rain ,Suna ,Oto and if use them Snow and sky .
make sence that greatest nations with selling art like to be wirlpool ,Konoha ,Suna .
Kumo :
being best in conductive seals to aid in lighting and in collection powe from lightning storms they're mountainous nation si known for .next to fire has largest naval force .
Suna :
like wind ,control and puppetry seals .
Iwa
Earth and explosive sealing arts .
Kiri :
Like seal reforcements their ships having second best naval forces of nations .thermal seals to protect from cold and rain that nation is known for .
Wirlpool
have smallest naval force but the best ships and most advanced jitsu cannons and guns .Plus most advanced and master of sealing arts .
Konoha
being close ally to wirlpool second in most seal advanced sealing arts when comes to berries ,sealing,trap ,and so on .Do this also like have most stuff modified ,powered ,reformed and so forth with seals .Do this like guard those secrets tightly .
So top seal user villages are Wirlpool ,Konoha ,and Suna .
Well most technological like be Konoha ,Kumo ,Rain ,Suna ,Oto and if use them Snow and sky .
9/4/2019 c1 Scarease
how big a,detailed ,complex are you planning ?
If big I have been world ton of idea use what now of history ,culture of world and Naruto universe .To come up realistic can be world with diverse cultures ,traditions ,trade ,relations ,economics ,environments ,groups ,tribes ,faiths ,weapons ,cloths and such between different nations and people within them .much used also explain relationship between clans ,nations ,nobility and such have between each other .
A thoughtful Ninja academy class plans that properly teach ways of ninja .
Vast list of translations of Japanese worlds ,Lareg list of weapons ,jitsu's ,bloodlines ,gear ,clans ,names ,and over hundred Ocs .
love to help you and see my idea's put to use .
how big a,detailed ,complex are you planning ?
If big I have been world ton of idea use what now of history ,culture of world and Naruto universe .To come up realistic can be world with diverse cultures ,traditions ,trade ,relations ,economics ,environments ,groups ,tribes ,faiths ,weapons ,cloths and such between different nations and people within them .much used also explain relationship between clans ,nations ,nobility and such have between each other .
A thoughtful Ninja academy class plans that properly teach ways of ninja .
Vast list of translations of Japanese worlds ,Lareg list of weapons ,jitsu's ,bloodlines ,gear ,clans ,names ,and over hundred Ocs .
love to help you and see my idea's put to use .
6/29/2019 c3 MoonlightDoom
just a question...
"Her skin grew translucent while her Jinchurikis glowed a rich crimson"
Did you mean sharingan?
just a question...
"Her skin grew translucent while her Jinchurikis glowed a rich crimson"
Did you mean sharingan?
2/14/2019 c1 Guest
I haven't read this, I may return in a year or two but it never seems t work. I wish you well on your try.
I haven't read this, I may return in a year or two but it never seems t work. I wish you well on your try.
1/25/2019 c2 
4Zabzab
Well... At least it begins better than the original version. It's still filled with mistakes, some big enough for the sentence to make no sense. You should really take care. Also, you made Hana and Izumi sixteen (16) years old and not even genin? Is that normal, or did you slip?
I can only encourage you to limit Naruto's (if it's even Naruto at this point) time in the forest. It doesn't make an interesting story to read how Naruto mimics a lynx or whatever. Don't make Naruto a mute (in the sense that he is incapable of communicating with others) for too long as well. Because it's even worse than the first point.
Regarding your answer to Zombiemann55's comment, and whatever you meant by it, (is Naruto a jinchuriki? Is he not? Is he a jinchuriki but are jinchuriki different and only prison?...) the one and only thing you need to remember is that you don't get to write your characters as stupid for the convenience of your plot. If your plot "works" only because people are retarded, then it is a bad plot. :-)
Best writing to you.
P.S: Noticed how I said "if it's even Naruto at this point"? I kinda mean it. You should write a proper fiction and post it at RoyalRoaddotcom. Because I don't know how this story is going to look anywhere like Naruto when you're done with it. :-) It's not a critic per se, but I personally think there are boundaries to fanfiction, and what you are writing definitely is walking on those boundaries
4ZabzabWell... At least it begins better than the original version. It's still filled with mistakes, some big enough for the sentence to make no sense. You should really take care. Also, you made Hana and Izumi sixteen (16) years old and not even genin? Is that normal, or did you slip?
I can only encourage you to limit Naruto's (if it's even Naruto at this point) time in the forest. It doesn't make an interesting story to read how Naruto mimics a lynx or whatever. Don't make Naruto a mute (in the sense that he is incapable of communicating with others) for too long as well. Because it's even worse than the first point.
Regarding your answer to Zombiemann55's comment, and whatever you meant by it, (is Naruto a jinchuriki? Is he not? Is he a jinchuriki but are jinchuriki different and only prison?...) the one and only thing you need to remember is that you don't get to write your characters as stupid for the convenience of your plot. If your plot "works" only because people are retarded, then it is a bad plot. :-)
Best writing to you.
P.S: Noticed how I said "if it's even Naruto at this point"? I kinda mean it. You should write a proper fiction and post it at RoyalRoaddotcom. Because I don't know how this story is going to look anywhere like Naruto when you're done with it. :-) It's not a critic per se, but I personally think there are boundaries to fanfiction, and what you are writing definitely is walking on those boundaries
1/25/2019 c1 Zabzab
Careful, you have several grammatical mistakes left here and there. Also, you probably wanted to say anorexic (sickly thin) figure, not bulimic (from normal to sickly fat) figure.
Careful, you have several grammatical mistakes left here and there. Also, you probably wanted to say anorexic (sickly thin) figure, not bulimic (from normal to sickly fat) figure.
12/29/2018 c1 17XxAverageZombiexX
look I'm not one who likes to say bad things here , it seems like a good premise but there seems to be a small flaw with it , the Hokage and elders know how Important Naruto is as asset to the village , there is no way they would allow him to be treated like this
17XxAverageZombiexXlook I'm not one who likes to say bad things here , it seems like a good premise but there seems to be a small flaw with it , the Hokage and elders know how Important Naruto is as asset to the village , there is no way they would allow him to be treated like this