Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Twelve Red Lines

10/9/2021 c36 5Nightingales Fall
G8! G8! G8! AAAAAAHHHHH IM SO EXCITED THIS STORY IS FANTASTIC! HOPE YOURE DOING WELL KEEP KEEPIN ON YOURE DOING AMAZING
10/7/2021 c28 FloydianFan
Not much to say since these are omakes written by other readers and cross-posted to the site, but it it must be validating to receive the confirmation that so many consider this as a story worth following.

Jones fruit is horrifying, Coltsguy always does his thing and Ruatha spreading the holiday cheer is something that we all need, isn’t it?
10/7/2021 c27 FloydianFan
Sorry for the wait, exams and work can sap away a lot of your time. Let’s go.

Having someone as utterly monstrously strong as Dracule Mihawk come to take pictures of the crew is something that I didn’t know I wanted, but am so glad to see happen. The Red Hair Pirates are truly the height of etiquette, aren’t they? It’s also great to see Shanks get so worked up about his little Anchor - he’ll always be a little squirt to him, no matter how big. Still think that Whitebeard takes the crown for best dad status though.

Seeing Gin on the verge of passing out really makes you feel for the War Dog don’t it; It would be like seeing the Grim Reaper come lazily swimming back to you after a lucky brush away from him. Good thing the Straw Hats aren’t horrible like Dom Kwib and his creaky toys- the crew knows how to take care of their own.

I think my favorite nicknames were Underdog, Little Rainbow and Kitten. Again, Lisa is willing to fight anyone for the crew and I love it.

So even Mihawk has his irrational fears as well? To be fair, cockroaches are resilient little bastards and they should just die when they get cooked or cut. Just disgusting.

So Toma just got a crash course on just how out there the Straw Hats can get, and I have the feeling he’s gonna fit right in. Luffy still had to give Zoro a punch and all though - consult your captain first dummy. And we’re off to Jaya soon.
10/6/2021 c36 2Avisian
I spent a few weeks rereading and its as good as I remember it!
Did Jones forget about the seastone handcuffs they had her in when she and Usopp were captured, or was that a plot thing for the rubber bands?
The lady who suggests turning Enel into a cat. Iconic. Impractical. Improbable
I love that Jones is just like. yeah yeah i'll get you to the moon put your clown shoes back on and Enels like WAIT HUH? and gets shoved in a cannon. classic
if gol d roger hadnt become a pirate hed operate a sightseeing pamphlet company. "On your left you'll see secret ancient carvings, and on the right is the secret ancient word for penis i scrawled on there for fun."
Namis just like ":) i am so happy and cool and awesome. have a tangerine" love her for that
Robins starting to trust Luffy,,, my heart,,,
10/5/2021 c34 2SpicyArbiter
Five star dune reference
10/2/2021 c26 FloydianFan
Making more gems and making the Internetz then. Jones sure has a scary set of skills to the world at large. They seem to have chaos that being a member of the Straw Hats require on the resume then. And Robin has a point, but she is so utterly defeated by the world that she just can’t have hope anymore. Hopefully that changes soon.

Time for the Cursed Sword movie. Yeah, this movie isn’t necessarily great but it does have some interesting elements in it: cursed artifacts, parts of Zoro’s pre crew backstory, some interesting designs for the enemy at play and Zoro actually having a major part of conflict in this story. Might be flawed as hell, but it’s not as horrible as others make it out to be.

Oh Zoro, you REALLY shouldn’t have said anything. Now that demonic divider got his sights on new prey.

Luffy fights bears, bats and now even dragons Ace, so you’ve got a point.

So Jones got nabbed by Saga and basically got roasted by a psycho sword. Honestly, it might be for the better that the crew learns not to talk about this outside of it, at least here the consequences while brutal are at least self contained. If others learned about the knowledge on display and didn’t think Jones was crazy, there’s no telling how damaging to the world at large it could be. Also telling on just how outclassed the crew still is drives home how much they still have to grow in order to protect themselves.

Nice to see Luffy while still having standards for his fights is willing to circumvent them when things get serious. And also making him doubt Zoro? Saga’s got a lot of answer for.

Was nice to see that scene with aroma and what Justice means. Such a transcendent topic that can mean so many things to so many people. Also helps that he had an interesting design to go with it.

Crew stills needs to learn Haki, but they just haven’t had the proper trigger to really get the ball rolling yet. I feel that once the crew can unlock it, it’ll be a matter of time for the rest to be able to learn it.

The scene with the Mounties was great - don’t think I didn’t catch that Monty Python joke you japester. Good to see Johnny and Yosaku use their electro blades for the first time: That’ll be useful down the and Lisa had their moments to shine- good to see the crew tying up loose ends in this timeline, and Sanji/ Gin just out and out destroyed their opponent in a blink (Sanji had it so rough with Germa and it’s great to see him actually have brothers worth a damn here.)

I really liked the final fight with Zoro and Luffy in the story. It’s refreshing to see Zoro pick up and air blades faster than canon, and I don’t even think Luffy was able to use air attacks until after the timeskip - Leo Bazooka. Plus the ability to head the beats of the world can help out immensely with learning Haki. One of the things I really love about this story is how you’re able to retrofit non canon material and show their effects on the main story. It makes the universe of One Piece feel more cohesive and as a result, tidied up the story quite nicely. Let me put it like this, if there’s any author outside the Cross Brain who could make the Davy Back Fight actually matter in the grand scheme of things, you would be it.

Zoro finally gets his own knife ala Mihawk as well as an apprentice to train in the way of the blade. Sanji better pick up one soon or else The War Dog and the Moss Head are gonna leave him in the dust. Looks like the curse left Toma with partially awakened Observation Haki, but could potentially see spirits as well? Gonna be weird to see how that plays out, but I’m down for it.

And who could that be on the horizon? Guess the next chapter will reveal it.
9/28/2021 c25 FloydianFan
Looks like the group have gotten a taste of what’s to come with Teach, or at least a sliver. Honestly it’s not a bad plan with gravity, but Jones really should try to help cordon off areas for specified training, less chance of Nami freak out that way.

Oh Ussop, the best adventures are the ones you have no idea are what to come. Also ‘God’ feels a bit of a lowball for the Master Gunner of the Straw Hats, how about - Almighty?

And it’s time for Dead End Adventure. Honestly this might be one of my favorite movies in the series; it just has that proper adventuring nature that One Piece excels at. Great set up, interesting characters and just an all around good time.

Good to see the crew still being helpful with Jones’s issues as it is, poor thing needs all they can.

Lisa and Nami have so much potential chemistry with their stealth orientations and years of experience to back it up. Hopefully Kaku joins the crew in this timeline because I can see him giving them some pointers on how sneak in and rob a mark blind with style.

For Bascud, shouldn’t the world know that the Straw Hats took down ol’ Croco- boy in this timeline? The only reason the world didn’t was due to the government’s coverup in the canon timeline, and here the crew was rewarded a tidy sum and had pictures taken for a newspaper that would be seen the world over. If Ace wasn’t there, it could’ve been cool to see Bascud maybe ask the crew for help taking down a particular mark - though the paper could have played down the crew’s exploits and Bascud could have had his pride to win himself, so there’s that.

Look’s like Luffy has some insecurities after all. Truly, Jones could have told him that if he didn’t have any bounty, it could’ve been the biggest upset this world has ever seen. I personally would have gone for the notion of some seemingly snot nosed rookies taking down arrogant powerhouses and the hilarity in a situation like that, but Jones telling him about the hat was a great scene. I don’t think he ever learned that in canon, so it’s just right for him to learn it.

Good to see Gin with his dulcet tones saving the day. Between him and Brook later on, we’ve got the music scene on lockdown. Poor Merry though, she’s really giving it her all. The brightest lights burn out the fastest.

Luffy to answer both of your questions in order, 1. You’re a beaming ray of sunshine that tends to light up gloomy skies for anyone and 2. because people have a tendency to control whatever the can ( that and the fact that most humans suck.) Was good to see Luffy talking about how wasteful Bascud’s mindset is- there are a lot of people who can really use that little tidbit in this, or really any world.

Grandpa is the MVP of this chapter easily: from keeping the steamboat goin to save two borderline mentally challenged fools from dying a horrible drowning death, Bierra knows how to keep up with the crew.

Brother and sister reunited and it feels so good. Kinda sad no one joined the crew in this chapter, but there were other butterflies let loose for the story. Especially interested in how the manuscripts are going to effect the world at large. Knowing Jones, might be some secret messages that only those who have context could hope to make sense of- for someone who doesn’t want to be known as a ninja, they sure act like one.
9/28/2021 c24 FloydianFan
So the post battle party has begun. Still pretty interesting to see the Mounties and more on Newfin Island - it’ll be fascinating to see how that plays out in the future. Of course Jones doesn’t care an about proper clothing etiquette and Luffy has to beat away recruitment offers for Robin with his fists. He’s like some cuddly guardian monkey thing ( don’t know at the moment - tired.)

Jones gets a makeover whether they like it or not - payback for all the shenanigans the crew gets put through. Adorable to see all the girls get together- relaxing for everyone except Jones of course. Could label it as a team bonding exercise.

Baroque Works is going to stay in Alabasta then. It’ll be intriguing to see how that motley crew of weirdos use their powers in a more productive manner to assist the common folk. They really weren’t bad people overall, but the people of Alabasta may not be as forgiving considering the fact that they tried to overthrow their kingdom and replace it with a brutal regime under Crocodile- but I have faith in the end. Let’s hope that Dax Bones can actually become the hero he always dreamed of. Also Galdino and Bentham won’t be sent to Impel Down in this story; I can’t see that having major ramifications on the plot down the line or anything, right?

Nami taking the Ponyeglyph rubbings just feels right for her. Knowledge is power, and she intends to have both. Might be interesting to see if later on Robin teaches the crew how to read them, on the butterfly effects later on. Robin might be wary about the crew, but hazardous artifacts are part of the job description. Also, can Luffy read the rubbings themselves, or does he need to near Poneglyphs in order to hear their voice?

Straw Hats seen as heroes and getting almost 200 million as compensation from the government hammers home how much the butterfly effects is in this story. Sabo comes back, the crew having Ace stay with them and everything that’s to come- this is going to be a wild ride, isn’t it?

The World Government is REALLY going to hate the Straw Hats when they figure out they’re pirates, aren’t they? Getting funds as part of the facade of bounty hunters, having knowledge of the Void Century, advanced technology curtsey of Jones and connections to the Whitebeards and Revolutionaries ( distant ones to the Red Haired as well), wouldn’t be surprised if they became Public Enemy Number 1 when everything comes to pass.

Looks like Smoker has gotten a lot to think about in terms of justice and it’s transitional nature between individuals. Wouldn’t suprise me if Smoker joins up with SWORD later on. Also appreciate the use of the Romance Dawn pirate terms here.

Drink Jones is the best Jones- they know how live a little and cause the amount of chaos appropriate for a Straw Hat. Gotta admit, hanging Smokey’s underwear is certainly a way to get some serious sea cred. It’ll be intriguing to see Smoker’s role later on, especially with the knowledge of Vergo and the Straw Hat’s relation with so many heavy hitters.

Oh Robin, the impossible is merely a suggestion with the Straw Hats. Also Jones could’ve told her that it was a window into a potential timeline if nothing else. Really break apart that whole fatalist mindset piece by piece.

Of course the Unluckies join the crew - animals that can fly and soft to boot? Luffy, Jones and Lisa wouldn’t accept it any other way.
9/26/2021 c23 FloydianFan
And we’re off. Again, Sabo really shows how much me cares about the crew and how devious he can be when it comes to manipulating others into seeing things his way. Being the number two of the Revolutionary Army has it’s perks.

12 and Thursday tried so hard to take Gin down, but they only got so far - in the end, it just didn’t matter. Gin is a monster and I’m interested to see how his fighting style develops now that he has a chance to refine it proper. Will Gin’s attacks also include other demons in order to showcase his growth and differences in mindsets? Also, Krieg’s crew was willing to laugh at his attack names but were fine with schlock such as “ Fire Pearl and Poison Gas MH5?” The Krieg Pirates sucked, plain and simple.

Lisa learns the power of symbolism and it is honestly horrifying. Honestly between the increased effects of runes and potential paint combinations, she could have entire armies under her thrall. All hail the Painted Queen.

Johnny and Yosaku might not have the brawn, but they have the spirit. Honestly did better than I thought against Mr. 5. It’s easy to forget the Frontier Agents are legitimately very strong when Luffy and Zoro could just one shot them, but those two are just monsters so it really doesn’t count. Good to see that the duo at least has the basic tenants of honor when it comes to combat- they aren’t completely hopeless.

Jones vs Mrs. Valentines really showcases that it’s not just what fruit you have that matter, but how you train yourself with the applications that truly matter. Both her and Machvise have the same exact problem of being a one trick pony in terms of ability and not utilizing the powers to their fullest potential. Good to see that Jones is starting to hold themselves in combat rather well now; had come a long way from the Baratie for sure.

The Unluckies being part of law enforcement was a twist that I didn’t see coming for the first time. Really, there’s not a whole lot to work with in their backstory, so I’m interested to see the goals and how they’ll play out.

Not much to say for canon fights, but it is rather impressive to see the crew be able to take far less damage than in the story. From Zoro not becoming a meat grinder to Nami barely taking any damage, to even Usopp and Chopper being in better shape. The crew has seen that they’re not up to snuff after Little Garden, and have resolved to do better. That’ll help them out in the long run.

Refreshing to see Luffy actually be able to think properly this early in Paraidse and grow steadily more mature. The small touches help to humanize him far more than in canon. And oh Robin, if Luffy decides you’re his, you’re his. There is just no escape from the madness.

Jones get tell gravity to get bent and is immune to bullets and bombs - her fruit is horrifying and it’s a good thing the World Government had no idea of it’s application for the time being. An Admiral tier fighter with it could end the series in less than a few months. Also, at the least Pell didn’t have to do that pointless sacrifice that ultimately meant nothing this time, so that’s a positive.

Bomb, detonator? It if blows, you go to Loveland. Robin hasn’t been on the crew long, but that’s as good of an introduction as any.
9/27/2021 c35 Shooter312
one strike to the ball lololol
9/24/2021 c22 FloydianFan
Once again, Lisa is the MVP. Sure, her paints still have the issues of collateral damage, but if they’re potent enough to get thousands of moles out of an army, then they are outright terrifying to fight against. Electro Blades as well for Johnny and Yosaku are an interesting way to compensate for lack of raw skill. And Inazuma being mentioned - easy to forget that the Revolutionary Army stopped off at East Blue for a time. Curious to learn what his relationship with the Hopeless Duo is - leads to some tantalizing prospects for the Impel Down Arc.

Sabo being the responsible brother - learning about Teach and what he could do to help his family really hammers home just how much he cares about his brothers. And Haki lessons are most appreciated- given Luffy’s tendencies to get involved in the biggest shitstorms this side of the Red Line it will be a necessity ( especially given that Sabo had to jinx it with the whole ‘you’re not in the New World’ all but guarantees that there will be moments where the crew needs it in Paradise - something tells me Enies Lobby is going to far more difficult than it was in canon.)

Really liked the scene with Nami assuring Jones during their unease. People think that Nami can be just a greedy little minx who only cares about her beli, but she can also be rather empathetic when the time calls for it - Sabaody and Fishman Island come to mind. Also kudos for Jones having better control of their episodes - small touches but they go a long way.

Jones powers may not be subtle, but they sure are useful. And no Jones, it’s better not to think to much on infinite space for pockets- you’ll go even madder in a world of madness.

Again cute to see Sanji with the cigarettes, Ruatha and comforting Chopper. Small moments that go a long way in understanding these characters and making them feel real.

Honestly, you can’t blame Luffy for getting trapped here - it’s Zoro. Broken clock maybe right once in a year when it comes to directions with him. Good to see Ace and just how useful his powers are with Seastone. Luffy being able to figure out how Robin was one of his in the original story is great to see - both for his intelligence and his empathy.

And of course we see that patented Portgas temper. Honestly Luffy is right, Ace can be scary when provoked but also easily led if not careful. Seeing the group work together to diffuse the sandstorm is a great example of how brawn can meet brains and create something fantastic for everyone ( except the sand croc of course.)

Honestly this fic really illustrates on just how lucky Luffy was in canon that Crocodile didn’t take him seriously. Incredibly well trained Logia with potential Haki usage this early in Paradise? If he took Luffy seriously the story would have ended in Alburna with Crocodile as the new owner of Pluton. Great to see the ASL trio work together again- some things never change do they? They always have to hunt down a Croc.

And of course things could never be simple now, could they?
9/24/2021 c21 FloydianFan
Not much to say considering the fact that this is an omake, but it’s nice to see Jones filling out the SBS crew sheet. Wouldn’t mind seeing characters like Lisa, Gin and Johnny & Yosaku fill this out in the future. Even Ruatha, just to see what would happen. Flower being Dandelion makes sense, mostly because they spread everywhere and cause new seeds to sprout up. Catalan drac huh? It’s imposing, powerful and certainly unique, so can’t see much of a downside to it. Novelist goes without saying.

Also that ending: sometimes it’s better not to know if our main character is still human or not. You never now with dimensional travel.
9/24/2021 c20 FloydianFan
Team Turtle and Mushroom huh? I feel like there’s a Mario reference in there, but It could just be an inside joke.

Ace getting beaten feels rather appropriate- you mess with one of the Straw Hats, you mess with all of them. Being a Whitebeard, I’m sure he could understand perfectly. And Jones needs to get it through their head that people care and will for for them sooner or later.

Ace learns the story and just how much Jone’s presence here will alter things. Seems like Jones isn’t the only one who could learn how much that they’re cared for. Poor guy can’t even see why people would gravitate towards him.

I have to say that Lisa is the MVP of this arc. Her paints help to completely bypass mental defenses and cut down on major issues such as traitors in the ranks. Between her abilities, her design and especially her potential backstory with the Painted Warriors, you’ve managed to create a compelling character with her. Her, Ghin with Tippy and Johnny/Yoasku with their parents just feels natural and opens up many future avenues to explore.

It’s really, REALLY cool on how you are able to incorporate unused concepts as Mr. 10 and Miss Tuesday into your story and how they can act as extended element to the expanded crew to bounce off of. From Usopp’s lies to Johnny and Yosaku acid guns, they feel perfectly in line with the world of One Piece and honestly I’m kinda of sad they weren’t in the original story. On a side note, using the acid guns was a stroke of genius in establishing just how different The Hopeless Duo is to Zoro: One is a complete purist who only believes in the way of the blade, while the others are more tool oriented and willing to experiment for their fighting styles. Creates an interesting dichotomy and I’d be interested to see how that unfolds in the future.

Speaking of fighting styles, I really like how you incorporated the Kung Fu Dugongs training Jones. Just the mental image of Sensei being picked up and carried like a furry backpack just makes me smile. Jeez, with Jones Devil Fruit and potential fighting styles, they’re going to be quite a fighter in the future.

Sure, the Oasis scene was cheesy, but it’s that fresh, straight from the udder cheese as opposed to moldy cheese that’s been left in the back of the fridge and left to stink it up. It’s good to see Luffy a bit more aware about the feelings of others and willing to help out the old man stick it to Croco-boy, if only for a bit. Plus, it’s good training for everyone if nothing else.

P.S: Wilson. That is all.
9/24/2021 c19 FloydianFan
So you’ve returned. Honestly I’m still not sure if I’m dreaming or not considering I’ve had dreams about updates for this story before but have been disappointed though. I attempted to review all the chapters before, but considering the lack of updates it just ended up depressing me about the state of the story and the likelihood that you stopped writing for good. I’m glad to see that isn’t the case and as such it’s time to continue where I left off two years ago ( after rereading the story the get caught up again of course - still excellent by the way.)

It was honestly pretty cool to see Lisa’s contributions to the crew in this chapter - from her being able to extract information from Bentham ( who seriously deserved it after that whole groping but not really stunt in front of the crew)to seeing her go Gaga for the sea kitty was just adorable. Really enjoyed her contributions this chapter.

Of course the Straw Hats would have a sacred sea guardian drag them to the port town - they have the Devil’s luck in more ways than one. Poor Vivi though. Must be surreal to see your sacred animals be turned into either mascots or punching bags - something tells me that there’ll be a whole lot of praying and tithes given to the clergy in order to repent for her sins, or so she thinks.

Johnny and Yosaku make a good point here - the Straw Hats have far more people on their side at this point of the story so they have the luxury of splitting up in now. Honestly it’s one of those things that you wouldn’t think of at first due to how the story is written in the original- just is kinda weird thinking the Straw Hats dividing before the New World, but opens the door for many a possibility down the line.

And of course things go pear shaped when Ace arrives. I love the dude as a character, but Jones really should have thought about making the ad a bit more somber, it feels a bit too cheery and gives off a horrible impression to those who don’t have context for the madness of the Straw Hats. Still no excuse for Ace to torture them. At least Luffy and especially Sabo got to see him again though - this time without having to either awaken memories or have him bleed out from a horrible magma fueled death. Also Luffy using a Fist of Love at Alabasta on Ace: he is WAY ahead of his canon counterpart in this version.

Great to see the ASL trio be able to fight together again. Baroque Works doesn’t - and honestly never did - stand a chance in this story.
9/25/2021 c36 Kebarton
A wonderful chapter, I wish I could favorite and follow all over again. I hope your doing well.
302 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 13 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service