for The Oncoming Storm2/19 c1 Guest
Percy is at least 6 ft 2 at 17yrs
Get that right at least
Percy is at least 6 ft 2 at 17yrs
Get that right at least
2/16 c29 Guest
Chapter 29 was interesting I actually had to look up who the person percy fought was, and was surprised who she was. I think that that is actually a good direction for percy as not many in that universe will be a total strength challange to him on earth. I do like the direction the other characters are taking as well. I am interested in what you are going to do with the other characters and how you are going to move forward with Zantana. I do think that like you have done well with robin in learning other weapons, Percy needs to do the same. obviously not the bow, just saying that he is getting too depended on with riptide. I can't remember if you have done this but just going to put it out there that some of them need to possibly do some mental strengthening cause they just lost zantanas dad and they have lost aqualad just before. anyways thats my opnion. one last thing is that I do love the story glad you have been continuing it and that keep up the good work.
Chapter 29 was interesting I actually had to look up who the person percy fought was, and was surprised who she was. I think that that is actually a good direction for percy as not many in that universe will be a total strength challange to him on earth. I do like the direction the other characters are taking as well. I am interested in what you are going to do with the other characters and how you are going to move forward with Zantana. I do think that like you have done well with robin in learning other weapons, Percy needs to do the same. obviously not the bow, just saying that he is getting too depended on with riptide. I can't remember if you have done this but just going to put it out there that some of them need to possibly do some mental strengthening cause they just lost zantanas dad and they have lost aqualad just before. anyways thats my opnion. one last thing is that I do love the story glad you have been continuing it and that keep up the good work.
2/18 c29 
1AWESOME1356
Great chapter man! You can really see Percy's character development, i thought it was awesome
1AWESOME1356Great chapter man! You can really see Percy's character development, i thought it was awesome
2/17 c29 kenodoxia
it's weird that an accomplished magic user like zatanna to just die to a bullet. You'd think he would have some protection... If you're going for heroes being this vulnerable, then you gotta kill most of the heroes now, because any chump with gun and decent aim can kill anyone else. have some civvies kill villians too. make guns actually matter. Fantasy metals alloys seem real accessible in dc... have superman die to a kryptonite bullet soon too
it's weird that an accomplished magic user like zatanna to just die to a bullet. You'd think he would have some protection... If you're going for heroes being this vulnerable, then you gotta kill most of the heroes now, because any chump with gun and decent aim can kill anyone else. have some civvies kill villians too. make guns actually matter. Fantasy metals alloys seem real accessible in dc... have superman die to a kryptonite bullet soon too
2/15 c29 Guest
I get that you want to make Percy earn his way through the ranks and learn but come on really! You can’t seriously make knockout out of everyone of the new gods be this much of a danger to Percy. If this was kalibak or Orion I would understand but knockout! Nah this was doing my boy wrong I don’t think Percy should just beat down villains left and right easily but at the same time it just seems Percy just seems to be strong only to get stomped by a low tier disgraced apokaloptian like knockout. I swear if scandal ends up being better than Percy then I know you trolling XD. But still even though this is the first time I’m criticizing you I do still love reading ur stories and the chapter was enjoyable.
I get that you want to make Percy earn his way through the ranks and learn but come on really! You can’t seriously make knockout out of everyone of the new gods be this much of a danger to Percy. If this was kalibak or Orion I would understand but knockout! Nah this was doing my boy wrong I don’t think Percy should just beat down villains left and right easily but at the same time it just seems Percy just seems to be strong only to get stomped by a low tier disgraced apokaloptian like knockout. I swear if scandal ends up being better than Percy then I know you trolling XD. But still even though this is the first time I’m criticizing you I do still love reading ur stories and the chapter was enjoyable.
2/17 c29 The-Gamer-6818
My only issue with zatara dying is that the round was subsonic. If it came from a sniper rifle (which it would have if your using high calibre rounds) it might be able to kill a magic user like him. But it seems like zatara got kolleed by a pistol
Maybe change the story so that he hears the pop after the sniper blew zatara's head off. But even then with him being a wizard, i doubt that he isn't enchanted to deflect/steal kinetic energy from the bullet. Or just ensure safety from a sniper. He's been a hero for a while, and I'm sure he's been sniped at.
Especially getting more protection due to Kaldur's death. I mean he knew this was a dangerous/important mission and he brought his daughter. Just to get domed by a non magical bullet. Unless they got new god calibre rounds with the guns to match. In which case they definitely should have been supersonic.
Kaldur's death was reasonable to explain. He's been outnumbered (red arrow being a sleeper meant he could have been ordered to draw him out and try to get him killed). It was unexpected and the Light decided to take of the kiddie gloves.
Zatara's death was so out of left field that I can't suspend my disbelief. I doubt that percyDianaZatara doesn't know what a gunshot sounded like and the sniper is close enough to be heard. Or that he couldn't say shield fast enough. His death just seems like a plot hole and could have been done better.
Other than that small issue Good luck with your writing, looking forward to a new chapter
My only issue with zatara dying is that the round was subsonic. If it came from a sniper rifle (which it would have if your using high calibre rounds) it might be able to kill a magic user like him. But it seems like zatara got kolleed by a pistol
Maybe change the story so that he hears the pop after the sniper blew zatara's head off. But even then with him being a wizard, i doubt that he isn't enchanted to deflect/steal kinetic energy from the bullet. Or just ensure safety from a sniper. He's been a hero for a while, and I'm sure he's been sniped at.
Especially getting more protection due to Kaldur's death. I mean he knew this was a dangerous/important mission and he brought his daughter. Just to get domed by a non magical bullet. Unless they got new god calibre rounds with the guns to match. In which case they definitely should have been supersonic.
Kaldur's death was reasonable to explain. He's been outnumbered (red arrow being a sleeper meant he could have been ordered to draw him out and try to get him killed). It was unexpected and the Light decided to take of the kiddie gloves.
Zatara's death was so out of left field that I can't suspend my disbelief. I doubt that percyDianaZatara doesn't know what a gunshot sounded like and the sniper is close enough to be heard. Or that he couldn't say shield fast enough. His death just seems like a plot hole and could have been done better.
Other than that small issue Good luck with your writing, looking forward to a new chapter
2/17 c29 Jxgod
I dont know about othets but I really liked this chaptet. refreshing to see a story where theres just no plot armour and people rhat are supposed to die…actually die. Also the percy jackson verse is several times weaker than the dc verse, PJO percy shouldnt be able to handel the stronger dc villains like theyre nothing, idk why people would think so. It makes sense that hell be able to do so eventually, getting stronger by strenghtening his demigod powers and all that, but that takes time.
I dont know about othets but I really liked this chaptet. refreshing to see a story where theres just no plot armour and people rhat are supposed to die…actually die. Also the percy jackson verse is several times weaker than the dc verse, PJO percy shouldnt be able to handel the stronger dc villains like theyre nothing, idk why people would think so. It makes sense that hell be able to do so eventually, getting stronger by strenghtening his demigod powers and all that, but that takes time.
2/17 c23 Jxgod
I really like diana and percys relationship, though them odd far and between paragraphs do make me think that theres some tension of a diffrent kind between them. Im excisted about the possibility of percy improving his abilitys, thats something ive been thinking off while reading as well.
I really like diana and percys relationship, though them odd far and between paragraphs do make me think that theres some tension of a diffrent kind between them. Im excisted about the possibility of percy improving his abilitys, thats something ive been thinking off while reading as well.
2/14 c29 Guest
You are inconsistent as fuck with Percy and much too hamfisted with your plot bullshit it’s just getting me out of the story
You are inconsistent as fuck with Percy and much too hamfisted with your plot bullshit it’s just getting me out of the story
2/14 c29 Guest
So the streak continues percy is once agin injured in a mission and to make matters worse it was while protecting someone who might be more durable than him and he didn't even try to use the liquid in the area to create a shield
So the streak continues percy is once agin injured in a mission and to make matters worse it was while protecting someone who might be more durable than him and he didn't even try to use the liquid in the area to create a shield
2/14 c29 Guest
The problem is not that Percy got beaten up, the problem is that you forced the situation by having Percy take bad decision after bad decision. The best up didn't feel like it made sense because Percy was practically helping her. You need only to reread the chapter to see what I'm talking about.
The problem is not that Percy got beaten up, the problem is that you forced the situation by having Percy take bad decision after bad decision. The best up didn't feel like it made sense because Percy was practically helping her. You need only to reread the chapter to see what I'm talking about.
2/14 c29 Guest
Killing Zatara was a bad idea. This is not Game of Thrones, superhero deaths should be earned. Zatara wasn't.
Killing Zatara was a bad idea. This is not Game of Thrones, superhero deaths should be earned. Zatara wasn't.