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2/7/2019 c6 TheForgottenSuns75
Ooooo I need more lol amazing keep up th great work fufufufu
1/29/2019 c5 76Perseus12
Well, the Uzumaki Clan are DEAD MEAT and I'll wait to see/imagine Naruto beat that smug arrogant brat Taro!
1/29/2019 c5 Dudemil
Good chapter, really liked the Luffy/law moment :) It sucks that you had Lee draw with Kiba (cuz everyone knows he would destroy Kiba any day of the year no matter how many dogs he has to help him) but i guess you did that cuz you had no plans for him in the final and wanted an even number of finalist or something... Looking forward to the next chapter.
1/29/2019 c5 TheForgottenSuns75
Love the brutality keep up the great work
1/24/2019 c4 blight23
Out side of inappropriately using Japanese Suffixes in an English language story, this is a pretty good neglect fiction. The only major plot problem I see is why you aren’t using Kushina as naruto’s mother. This is especially weird because you are still using the Uzumaki Clan as naruto’s neglectful antagonist family. What was your reason for doing that? Why did you still decide to use the Uzumaki Clan as the antagonist? Why not create a different clan to go along with naruto’s OC mother?

Naruto’s OC mother isn’t a deal breaker it just confusing as to why you did that. Start using correct English words/syntax/grammar and you have the workings of a very, very good story.
1/24/2019 c1 blight23
Husband/wife
Mother/mom
Father/dad
Son/baby boy
Daughter/baby girl
Brother/bro/big (bro)ther/little (bro)ther
Sister/sis/big (sis)ter/little (sis)ter
Grandfather/grandpa/old man
Grandmother/grandma/old lady/old hag
Lord Hokage/Lady Hokage
Master/Mistress
Sir/Mam

There are no English equivalent or translation for -kun or -chan but words to describe love ones are aplenty.

Sweet heart
Babe
Baby
Dear
Honey

These are some pretty generic nicknames have been around for quite awhile.

These are the correct words that SHOULD be used in an English language story. You need to drop all the Japanese suffixes. I don’t know why these suffixes became so widely used but it needs to stop. It takes away from your story because English speakers don’t speak using Japanese suffixes so reading them in the English language just makes everything sound weird and just flat out stupid. Just read your dialogue out loud to hear how it sounds.

Just imagine if someone started using Japanese suffixes in a normal everyday English conversation. Your first thought would be why is this person using those suffixes when we are speaking English. Second, you would think that person was an idiot or mentally disturbed. Finally, you wouldn’t take anything that person said seriously. ( Obviously, this pertains to native English speakers. A native Japanese speaker having an English conversation with a native English speaker is a different matter. However, that is only if the native Japanese speaker isn’t fluent in English. If they are fluent you can bet your ass they aren’t using Japanese suffixes. )

This has nothing to do with the suffixes themselves. Using them in Japanese language stories would be fundamental because those suffixes are part of the spoken Japanese language and not using them would cause confusion and irritation for native Japanese speakers. Just as using them in English language stories is confusing, irritating, and stupid.

For all the woke, npc crowd stop culturally appropriating Japanese Suffixes. The Japanese people do not need you oppressing their divine culture with your horrid whiteness. Whitey bad and need to die and... will you know the rest.

( The above is a copy and paste statement because the amount of stories that use these suffixes is sadly very, very large. )
1/13/2019 c1 GamerX568
Considering this is is a rewrite, why not use the actual names of Naruto's parents, or are you doing this because you don't want Kushina to be like that.
1/13/2019 c1 TheForgottenSuns75
Better make him stronger than the uzumakis or it would be a waste of time to read lol
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