for The Men From Onyx4/21/2022 c63 naotw
Great chapter. Was actually going to ask how Thomas and Curie haven't discovered project P.E.N.N.Y till now. Smooth blending.
I am now wondering why Ironwood thought artificial-life soldiers would be more appealing to the public than Atlas' current bots. I am almost certain that it violates a number of rights acts on Remnant, as Penny is alive, so to speak.
Great chapter. Was actually going to ask how Thomas and Curie haven't discovered project P.E.N.N.Y till now. Smooth blending.
I am now wondering why Ironwood thought artificial-life soldiers would be more appealing to the public than Atlas' current bots. I am almost certain that it violates a number of rights acts on Remnant, as Penny is alive, so to speak.
4/20/2022 c38 
1shadowdawn7971
Enjoying the story so far. It is unique in it's telling and the fact you limited several tropes inherit in a RWBY crossover. I particularly like how you avoided turning Spartans into walking gods by limiting their aura so drastically. Your reasoning isn't bad at all, though I have to ask how you explain someone like Ironwood, who is half machine retaining his full aura vs the Spartans barely being able to use theirs.
Also I am curious as to your rationale for depowering dust as a propellent when Canon RWBY show that Dust is, if anything, more powerful simply via the amount of recoil boost people can get from it. Nothing similar can be done with modern real life weapons or Halo's weapons. The amount of force the rounds exert upon exiting the barrel have to be magnatudes higher. Mind you, this is not a complaint but a desire to understand what led you to the decision to depower dust so dramatically.
1shadowdawn7971Enjoying the story so far. It is unique in it's telling and the fact you limited several tropes inherit in a RWBY crossover. I particularly like how you avoided turning Spartans into walking gods by limiting their aura so drastically. Your reasoning isn't bad at all, though I have to ask how you explain someone like Ironwood, who is half machine retaining his full aura vs the Spartans barely being able to use theirs.
Also I am curious as to your rationale for depowering dust as a propellent when Canon RWBY show that Dust is, if anything, more powerful simply via the amount of recoil boost people can get from it. Nothing similar can be done with modern real life weapons or Halo's weapons. The amount of force the rounds exert upon exiting the barrel have to be magnatudes higher. Mind you, this is not a complaint but a desire to understand what led you to the decision to depower dust so dramatically.
4/16/2022 c60 naotw
Nice chapter. But a number of assumptions and fallacies were made.
1. Richard being sympathetic to the Faunus and then saying that they were wrong. The White Fang does not represent all Faunus, it was also naturally inevitable. If you meant emotionally/ideologically, the Faunus have every reason to feel 2nd class because they are. Violence is a natural outcome. They have largely resisted it till now, that alone is impressive. What aspect(s) of their lives or ideologies is/are wrong?
2. Ghira is too malleable. He is the leader of a discriminated people, who chose peace because fighting would be more detrimental, not because he's a pacifist. He is not a gullible conversationalist (takes everything the UNSC said, since 1st contact at face value without concrete proof, endlessly praising Richard for his SDC campaign). The UNSC acted(rescue) because they see Faunus as Humans. He should have accepted and gotten over this by this point.
3. Richard bashing the Atlas Councilors over Ghira's reforms(snakes, prestigious image). Every good politician will choose to keep face values if they are more beneficial as a whole than specifics. He also presumed on this, hence hurting future Atlas relations.
4. Building a Huntsman Academy on Menagerie, without an economic backbone in any form, as a kingdom? The current schools have no noted constraints or overpopulation issues. It would be better to build combat schools, akin to Signal and Sanctum. The Academies have too much symbolism to attempt(Great war, CCTS, Spec Ops soldiers). It is a political disaster in the making; what Human would choose Menagerie, with (in his/her common view) savages; for some, over a nearer and more established Academy? How many in Remnant want to be huntsmen/huntresses (capacity)? Where to get qualified huntsmen and huntresses to teach(pay more to sway over from other Academies)? Service sectors(food, bank, entertainment, etc) to support student life in Menagerie? This is barely applicable.
5. Richard spotlighting the Headmasters as a trust benchmark. Of course they would say yes, it's politics. Saying no would present discrimination, that's an image they would obviously not want to project to ALL of Remnant. Them accepting to fulfil Ghira's request was not an indication of trust but rather, political skill. He missed that.
6. The White Fang situation was done well. All of Adam's views are clearly noticeable and well expressed. One problem though, Sienna Khan. She would NEVER endorse that kidnapping. It gives off too much heat. She summoned Adam to reprimand him post-Beacon's fall, because he spotlighted the White Fang. This spotlights them to a faction with superior capabilities, guerilla war experience, and is capable of working in space theatres. It is too illogical and bound to fail. She was updated on the conference, so she would know that the UNSC has orbital satellite capability. Did she even factor this?
7. Richard basically brute forcing a position of authority is illogical, especially with Thomas' Section 2 experience. It is a delicate matter, as it requires pre-planning and measured limits. He instead surprised everyone and got a resolution by 2 hours' end? Remnant would be more inclined to deny his ship atmospheric access and allow only his planes and transports to land. He also requested Huntsman level autonomy, this is unrealistic, even with the non-police statement. Huntsmen and huntresses have that autonomy because they are independent and have no Kingdom loyalty(minus Atlas-contentious). The jurisdiction issue would be better handled case to case. If a situation warrants UNSC involvement, give them clearance, if not, deny. This basically gave them a faux pas to be Remnant's most powerful mercenaries(ironic since Richard and Ben criticized Huntsmen and Huntresses for exactly that in their heads).
8. Ironwood does not hold Atlas together, he holds its military. Throughout RWBY, he is consistently seen as haggard and tired from being a General and politicking with the other Councilors. It's highly unlikely that Atlas' other Councilors would kowtow to Richard's proposal simply because Ironwood supported it(majority vote system). Especially after SDC operatives stole 3 Atlesian Cruisers and at least 1 prototype Paladin.
9. Everyone agreeing to Richard's proposal with only a WMD and police action limit? Restricted travel lanes outside of civilian centers, communication protocols, etc all need sorting out. This is a handwave to a tenuous and impactful political situation(e.g. if Dominion is amushed by a 10 Wyverns and crash lands in Vale's capital? Fusion reactors armaments mass 100,000s of deaths).
10. No one bringing up the fact that the UNSC has no right to essentially steal the SDC's funds. It was a megacorporation with subsidiaries. Its crash would lead to a MASSIVE recession in all of Remnant. That cash is needed to partially offset this and would logically, be seized by Atlas authorities for redistribution. Having the UNSC keep and use it is wrong. Giving the cash back to the now Jobless rescued Faunus/ Vale's government/ to Atlas as pay for the damages is better overall and easily determinable.
11. Second issue, situations warranting a UNSC response. Simple, if Remnant response systems fail. Problems; When do they fail, how to determine if they have failed, how the UNSC should respond to specific situations, etc. This was glossed over. You had all representatives agree to this without noted issue.
12. Third issue, Remnant recruitment. Remnant would still have an advantage in manpower over the UNSC because;
Only Atlas has a standing and loyal military, and Ironwood supports Richard. Unless the UNSC has recruitment numbers large enough to fill a Punic carrier, I doubt its numbers would be comparable to Atlas' for its Councilors to worry more about it.
Other kingdoms have local(cops), PMCs/Hired security(SDC) and defensive(grimm focused) forces, besides thousands of huntsmen and huntresses.
Their focus should have been over having no effective answer to UNSC denial weapons(WMDs- MAC, Missiles, Nuc.s, Asteroid bombardment).
13. Having the UNSC be the Councilor's personal security detail/escorts/guards is problematic. It was only the host and site security. Also, none of the Councilors brought their own personal Security? You noted Ghira with 2, in the 1st meeting, why not others.
Nice Salem bit. She only has to largely lure the Dominion into atmosphere with a large enough grimm force, to be able to deal with it.
Nice chapter. But a number of assumptions and fallacies were made.
1. Richard being sympathetic to the Faunus and then saying that they were wrong. The White Fang does not represent all Faunus, it was also naturally inevitable. If you meant emotionally/ideologically, the Faunus have every reason to feel 2nd class because they are. Violence is a natural outcome. They have largely resisted it till now, that alone is impressive. What aspect(s) of their lives or ideologies is/are wrong?
2. Ghira is too malleable. He is the leader of a discriminated people, who chose peace because fighting would be more detrimental, not because he's a pacifist. He is not a gullible conversationalist (takes everything the UNSC said, since 1st contact at face value without concrete proof, endlessly praising Richard for his SDC campaign). The UNSC acted(rescue) because they see Faunus as Humans. He should have accepted and gotten over this by this point.
3. Richard bashing the Atlas Councilors over Ghira's reforms(snakes, prestigious image). Every good politician will choose to keep face values if they are more beneficial as a whole than specifics. He also presumed on this, hence hurting future Atlas relations.
4. Building a Huntsman Academy on Menagerie, without an economic backbone in any form, as a kingdom? The current schools have no noted constraints or overpopulation issues. It would be better to build combat schools, akin to Signal and Sanctum. The Academies have too much symbolism to attempt(Great war, CCTS, Spec Ops soldiers). It is a political disaster in the making; what Human would choose Menagerie, with (in his/her common view) savages; for some, over a nearer and more established Academy? How many in Remnant want to be huntsmen/huntresses (capacity)? Where to get qualified huntsmen and huntresses to teach(pay more to sway over from other Academies)? Service sectors(food, bank, entertainment, etc) to support student life in Menagerie? This is barely applicable.
5. Richard spotlighting the Headmasters as a trust benchmark. Of course they would say yes, it's politics. Saying no would present discrimination, that's an image they would obviously not want to project to ALL of Remnant. Them accepting to fulfil Ghira's request was not an indication of trust but rather, political skill. He missed that.
6. The White Fang situation was done well. All of Adam's views are clearly noticeable and well expressed. One problem though, Sienna Khan. She would NEVER endorse that kidnapping. It gives off too much heat. She summoned Adam to reprimand him post-Beacon's fall, because he spotlighted the White Fang. This spotlights them to a faction with superior capabilities, guerilla war experience, and is capable of working in space theatres. It is too illogical and bound to fail. She was updated on the conference, so she would know that the UNSC has orbital satellite capability. Did she even factor this?
7. Richard basically brute forcing a position of authority is illogical, especially with Thomas' Section 2 experience. It is a delicate matter, as it requires pre-planning and measured limits. He instead surprised everyone and got a resolution by 2 hours' end? Remnant would be more inclined to deny his ship atmospheric access and allow only his planes and transports to land. He also requested Huntsman level autonomy, this is unrealistic, even with the non-police statement. Huntsmen and huntresses have that autonomy because they are independent and have no Kingdom loyalty(minus Atlas-contentious). The jurisdiction issue would be better handled case to case. If a situation warrants UNSC involvement, give them clearance, if not, deny. This basically gave them a faux pas to be Remnant's most powerful mercenaries(ironic since Richard and Ben criticized Huntsmen and Huntresses for exactly that in their heads).
8. Ironwood does not hold Atlas together, he holds its military. Throughout RWBY, he is consistently seen as haggard and tired from being a General and politicking with the other Councilors. It's highly unlikely that Atlas' other Councilors would kowtow to Richard's proposal simply because Ironwood supported it(majority vote system). Especially after SDC operatives stole 3 Atlesian Cruisers and at least 1 prototype Paladin.
9. Everyone agreeing to Richard's proposal with only a WMD and police action limit? Restricted travel lanes outside of civilian centers, communication protocols, etc all need sorting out. This is a handwave to a tenuous and impactful political situation(e.g. if Dominion is amushed by a 10 Wyverns and crash lands in Vale's capital? Fusion reactors armaments mass 100,000s of deaths).
10. No one bringing up the fact that the UNSC has no right to essentially steal the SDC's funds. It was a megacorporation with subsidiaries. Its crash would lead to a MASSIVE recession in all of Remnant. That cash is needed to partially offset this and would logically, be seized by Atlas authorities for redistribution. Having the UNSC keep and use it is wrong. Giving the cash back to the now Jobless rescued Faunus/ Vale's government/ to Atlas as pay for the damages is better overall and easily determinable.
11. Second issue, situations warranting a UNSC response. Simple, if Remnant response systems fail. Problems; When do they fail, how to determine if they have failed, how the UNSC should respond to specific situations, etc. This was glossed over. You had all representatives agree to this without noted issue.
12. Third issue, Remnant recruitment. Remnant would still have an advantage in manpower over the UNSC because;
Only Atlas has a standing and loyal military, and Ironwood supports Richard. Unless the UNSC has recruitment numbers large enough to fill a Punic carrier, I doubt its numbers would be comparable to Atlas' for its Councilors to worry more about it.
Other kingdoms have local(cops), PMCs/Hired security(SDC) and defensive(grimm focused) forces, besides thousands of huntsmen and huntresses.
Their focus should have been over having no effective answer to UNSC denial weapons(WMDs- MAC, Missiles, Nuc.s, Asteroid bombardment).
13. Having the UNSC be the Councilor's personal security detail/escorts/guards is problematic. It was only the host and site security. Also, none of the Councilors brought their own personal Security? You noted Ghira with 2, in the 1st meeting, why not others.
Nice Salem bit. She only has to largely lure the Dominion into atmosphere with a large enough grimm force, to be able to deal with it.
4/14/2022 c58 naotw
Good chapter. Though Richard and Co. overreacted a bit imo to Curie's situation. The moral highs and pitfalls they experienced upto that point would have tempered their extreme reactions, like believing Janus was manipulated without proof, when it was noted that he volunteered.
In the end, Curie was made from decompiled fragments of an aging A.I., to avoid Rampancy. Was this not worth it if it would have solved the 1 major limitation to smart A.I.? Cerberus was a pragmatic research endeavor made by an infamous Army colonel.
Ackerson was, not much, one for personal pride. The 3 project, was a good call, and actually attempted to avoid some of the 2's moral controversies(flash clones). He was not arrogant. He just did everything he could to ensure the best outcome for the UNSC. He even died horribly doing this(2552). He obviously knew what was at stake for Cerberus' success. It is likely that ONI would reprimand Richard, and not Ackerson if they get home, since Cerberus had positive results thus far, without issues. (Curie 7yrs old without rampancy signs until she overextended herself)
If the intention was to view the files from their perspective, well done. Really felt that and was convinced they're not seeing the larger outcome.
Good chapter. Though Richard and Co. overreacted a bit imo to Curie's situation. The moral highs and pitfalls they experienced upto that point would have tempered their extreme reactions, like believing Janus was manipulated without proof, when it was noted that he volunteered.
In the end, Curie was made from decompiled fragments of an aging A.I., to avoid Rampancy. Was this not worth it if it would have solved the 1 major limitation to smart A.I.? Cerberus was a pragmatic research endeavor made by an infamous Army colonel.
Ackerson was, not much, one for personal pride. The 3 project, was a good call, and actually attempted to avoid some of the 2's moral controversies(flash clones). He was not arrogant. He just did everything he could to ensure the best outcome for the UNSC. He even died horribly doing this(2552). He obviously knew what was at stake for Cerberus' success. It is likely that ONI would reprimand Richard, and not Ackerson if they get home, since Cerberus had positive results thus far, without issues. (Curie 7yrs old without rampancy signs until she overextended herself)
If the intention was to view the files from their perspective, well done. Really felt that and was convinced they're not seeing the larger outcome.
4/13/2022 c9 Xenokiller419
Did they forget about the hidden covenant weapons that they found
Did they forget about the hidden covenant weapons that they found
4/13/2022 c55 naotw
"But back where I came from, we never solved racial inequalities with rifles, we solved it by changing minds."
This just killed me beyond all measure. And he says this just after:
"...whether that be Insurrectionists, terrorists, Grimm or otherwise."
Once remnant learns of the UNSC's general history, pieces will be put together.
The UNSC was literally the UEG's leashed dog against the insurrection, that arose FROM racial divides and lack of ftl communication.
The political shitstorm from this will hurt Richard, badly. And if the truth of the Covenant is confirmed, a majority of Remnant would blanche in fear, adding onto existing Grimm attacks, I suspect level 7 attacks would be common in the villages. ️️️It's just a disaster.
That entire conference was a practical example of how NOT to do a political speech, especially an introductory one.
So many contentious points. Really, Richard should just mail his demands to the Council members, let Thomas handle the talks, and start upgrading Remnant.
"But back where I came from, we never solved racial inequalities with rifles, we solved it by changing minds."
This just killed me beyond all measure. And he says this just after:
"...whether that be Insurrectionists, terrorists, Grimm or otherwise."
Once remnant learns of the UNSC's general history, pieces will be put together.
The UNSC was literally the UEG's leashed dog against the insurrection, that arose FROM racial divides and lack of ftl communication.
The political shitstorm from this will hurt Richard, badly. And if the truth of the Covenant is confirmed, a majority of Remnant would blanche in fear, adding onto existing Grimm attacks, I suspect level 7 attacks would be common in the villages. ️️️It's just a disaster.
That entire conference was a practical example of how NOT to do a political speech, especially an introductory one.
So many contentious points. Really, Richard should just mail his demands to the Council members, let Thomas handle the talks, and start upgrading Remnant.
4/12/2022 c53 naotw
Nice on Mags. Her history would likely already be known by the UNSC, given its public nature(protests, etc), so she need not worry much.
The UNSC should start work on industrial uplifting.
Blake's view on them rescuing the trapped Faunus would be nice to see.
This would bring a political and societal shift as all of Remnant must now acknowledge the publicly and overtly displayed Faunus discrimination, especially Mistral.
Remnant's leaders must then publicly prove, to the; UNSC, Faunus and sympathetic humans, that they are working to solve it, through immediate results, not long term plans or procrastinating.
Richard's Kingdom recognition of Menagerie would cause UNTOLD unrest. Humans openly despise Faunus, as second nature. Unless forced, and likely controversial, social reforms are implemented, it will continue. Humans would fell forced. I would not be surprised if Mistral declares war on the UNSC. It's analogous (not similar) to Martin Luther King all over again.
It's likely that a great number of abroad Faunus would be coming back to Menagerie, after witnessing the SDC's ops. The economic impact of such substantial movement would negatively affect businesses on Remnant.
Nice on Mags. Her history would likely already be known by the UNSC, given its public nature(protests, etc), so she need not worry much.
The UNSC should start work on industrial uplifting.
Blake's view on them rescuing the trapped Faunus would be nice to see.
This would bring a political and societal shift as all of Remnant must now acknowledge the publicly and overtly displayed Faunus discrimination, especially Mistral.
Remnant's leaders must then publicly prove, to the; UNSC, Faunus and sympathetic humans, that they are working to solve it, through immediate results, not long term plans or procrastinating.
Richard's Kingdom recognition of Menagerie would cause UNTOLD unrest. Humans openly despise Faunus, as second nature. Unless forced, and likely controversial, social reforms are implemented, it will continue. Humans would fell forced. I would not be surprised if Mistral declares war on the UNSC. It's analogous (not similar) to Martin Luther King all over again.
It's likely that a great number of abroad Faunus would be coming back to Menagerie, after witnessing the SDC's ops. The economic impact of such substantial movement would negatively affect businesses on Remnant.
4/12/2022 c52 naotw
Excellently nailed Watt's slight overconfidence and arrogance. Just enough to make him forget the simple things, like the backtracking.
Though again, the UNSC's not fully using their Infowar suite. Not knowing that grimm can work in packs, as a strategy, is good; animal packs commonly lack a full strategy. Not knowing that grimm can learn experientially and be subservient to older ones is a sore point. Such info would be common knowledge on Remnant.
Curie's situation is a good one. Though technically, her clock cycles are affected by the processing nodes available, along with her internal runtimes. With all of Dominion being a giant server, it's a bit skeptical that she overclocked, even with half of normal capacity, from battle coordination, given her MIL-AI designation.
More Remnant characters.
Excellently nailed Watt's slight overconfidence and arrogance. Just enough to make him forget the simple things, like the backtracking.
Though again, the UNSC's not fully using their Infowar suite. Not knowing that grimm can work in packs, as a strategy, is good; animal packs commonly lack a full strategy. Not knowing that grimm can learn experientially and be subservient to older ones is a sore point. Such info would be common knowledge on Remnant.
Curie's situation is a good one. Though technically, her clock cycles are affected by the processing nodes available, along with her internal runtimes. With all of Dominion being a giant server, it's a bit skeptical that she overclocked, even with half of normal capacity, from battle coordination, given her MIL-AI designation.
More Remnant characters.
4/11/2022 c48 naotw
Now this is a surprise.
Without Dominion's retreat, I don't see it not going down.
It doesn't have the Stalwart's anti-fighter/missile and pdc capabilities. Lancers will wreck it, through its armor gaps.
Hope everyone on Remnant watching through CCTS sees that Leviathan.
Now this is a surprise.
Without Dominion's retreat, I don't see it not going down.
It doesn't have the Stalwart's anti-fighter/missile and pdc capabilities. Lancers will wreck it, through its armor gaps.
Hope everyone on Remnant watching through CCTS sees that Leviathan.
4/11/2022 c47 naotw
Poor Meadows. He should probably sit out all coming battles. I'm almost certain he spends more time in sickbay than in the field.
Cordovin was a good officer, just that she had to juggle bureaucracy, as a base leader. Plus her age made her more irritant(Calavera). Hope she gets ceremonial honors.
I really hope Salem's surprise involves Leviathans.
Poor Meadows. He should probably sit out all coming battles. I'm almost certain he spends more time in sickbay than in the field.
Cordovin was a good officer, just that she had to juggle bureaucracy, as a base leader. Plus her age made her more irritant(Calavera). Hope she gets ceremonial honors.
I really hope Salem's surprise involves Leviathans.
4/11/2022 c46 naotw
I can feel the oozing arrogance in the UNSC's confidence.
Richard has 50 archer missile pods. 1200 to 1500 missiles of various payloads; from chemical, EW/EMP, decoy, thermonuclear, SPEARs, Howitzers and others, giving him an answer for nearly ANY tactical situation. One chemical archer could have solved the grimm numbers problem but nooo, he just HAD to bring his whole ship.
I hope to see grimm Leviathans emerging from the ocean and spit-firing on the Dominion, just for measure. An attack on Argus is never complete without a Leviathan.
Its current attack also near cripples Atlas-Mistral trade(primary port). Wonder how Saphron's doing and how Jaune's dealing with her presence there.
I can feel the oozing arrogance in the UNSC's confidence.
Richard has 50 archer missile pods. 1200 to 1500 missiles of various payloads; from chemical, EW/EMP, decoy, thermonuclear, SPEARs, Howitzers and others, giving him an answer for nearly ANY tactical situation. One chemical archer could have solved the grimm numbers problem but nooo, he just HAD to bring his whole ship.
I hope to see grimm Leviathans emerging from the ocean and spit-firing on the Dominion, just for measure. An attack on Argus is never complete without a Leviathan.
Its current attack also near cripples Atlas-Mistral trade(primary port). Wonder how Saphron's doing and how Jaune's dealing with her presence there.
4/10/2022 c45 naotw
You made me almost prefer the Charon over the Paris frigate with how you expo'd it to Ironwood. Excellent.
I do wonder though, how come the Dominion's satellites haven't yet detect a single, black castle in the middle of nearly endless, black grimm pools, with some heat sig,s?
Unless their orbits are geostationery? If so, that plus the non-full coverage do lend credit to missing Salem. Though large scale grimm movements, like Salem's plan against Atlas, would also be easy to backtrace to the grimmlands.
You made me almost prefer the Charon over the Paris frigate with how you expo'd it to Ironwood. Excellent.
I do wonder though, how come the Dominion's satellites haven't yet detect a single, black castle in the middle of nearly endless, black grimm pools, with some heat sig,s?
Unless their orbits are geostationery? If so, that plus the non-full coverage do lend credit to missing Salem. Though large scale grimm movements, like Salem's plan against Atlas, would also be easy to backtrace to the grimmlands.
4/9/2022 c52 Trife
So, when is the UNSC actually going to start working on industrial work? They have the Faunus kingdom as allies that they could start advancing but they aren’t. More of their stuff is breaking and now they could lose their A.I. At the rate they are putting this off, their ship is going to be falling apart around them before they decide to actually start working on what they need to fix the ship let alone try and get home. Not that they will at the rate they are neglecting their need for parts and industry. Not to mention their constant fighting.
Trife
So, when is the UNSC actually going to start working on industrial work? They have the Faunus kingdom as allies that they could start advancing but they aren’t. More of their stuff is breaking and now they could lose their A.I. At the rate they are putting this off, their ship is going to be falling apart around them before they decide to actually start working on what they need to fix the ship let alone try and get home. Not that they will at the rate they are neglecting their need for parts and industry. Not to mention their constant fighting.
Trife