for The Forgotten Games1/27/2019 c7 
4Kristy LeeKL
I also didn't expect Peacekeeper Cottonmouth to be such a big character, but this is so well written!
4Kristy LeeKLI also didn't expect Peacekeeper Cottonmouth to be such a big character, but this is so well written!
1/21/2019 c3 Anna Banana
Thoughts:
I like her. I feel bad for her cousin and for Scarlet’s twin. It’s sad... well, I get the ex thing though.
Oh no, she has to go in the games... I mean honestly I wouldn’t listen to my mother and not volunteer. I feel so bad for her.
Chart:
Mine: None
Rooting For: None
Love: Zara Unova [D2F]
Like: None
Neutral: None
Dislike: None
Hate: None
Loathe: None
Love to Hate: None
Good job!
Thoughts:
I like her. I feel bad for her cousin and for Scarlet’s twin. It’s sad... well, I get the ex thing though.
Oh no, she has to go in the games... I mean honestly I wouldn’t listen to my mother and not volunteer. I feel so bad for her.
Chart:
Mine: None
Rooting For: None
Love: Zara Unova [D2F]
Like: None
Neutral: None
Dislike: None
Hate: None
Loathe: None
Love to Hate: None
Good job!
1/21/2019 c1 Anna Banana
This seems like a really interesting story! I like how they are forgotten. I think this is an amazing idea and you could definitely build a whole series off of it.
Could I possibly submit?
Amazing story!
Anna
This seems like a really interesting story! I like how they are forgotten. I think this is an amazing idea and you could definitely build a whole series off of it.
Could I possibly submit?
Amazing story!
Anna
1/22/2019 c6 35SilverflowerXRavenpaw
Haha, classic orphan. This kid has Bloodbath written all over her. I'm sure she has some redeeming quality, but she probably won't last long. Perhaps she was submitted as a Bloodbath? Either way, she's lucky not to take tesserae, but it obviously won't matter. RIP in pieces Millie.
35SilverflowerXRavenpawHaha, classic orphan. This kid has Bloodbath written all over her. I'm sure she has some redeeming quality, but she probably won't last long. Perhaps she was submitted as a Bloodbath? Either way, she's lucky not to take tesserae, but it obviously won't matter. RIP in pieces Millie.
1/22/2019 c5 SilverflowerXRavenpaw
Maeve is also, apparently, terminally stupid. Let the kids get better at social situations. It won't kill them. I know autism is more than that, but that's the most apparent symptom.
Rose got Reaped? But One IS a Career District. You must have a whole new universe. Am I missing something I should know about?
It's hard to get much about Rose, since her POV was so short, but I'm still interested in seeing more. Perhaps a beta-reader could help you out, and I would be happy to give you advice on improvement if you ever wanted it.
Maeve is also, apparently, terminally stupid. Let the kids get better at social situations. It won't kill them. I know autism is more than that, but that's the most apparent symptom.
Rose got Reaped? But One IS a Career District. You must have a whole new universe. Am I missing something I should know about?
It's hard to get much about Rose, since her POV was so short, but I'm still interested in seeing more. Perhaps a beta-reader could help you out, and I would be happy to give you advice on improvement if you ever wanted it.
1/22/2019 c4 SilverflowerXRavenpaw
Three isn't normally a Career District. Interesting. Velvet seems to be terminally dumb. Rest in peace, her brain cells. She's likely a Bloodbath, and definitely not strong, but who knows? Maybe she'll get better later.
Three isn't normally a Career District. Interesting. Velvet seems to be terminally dumb. Rest in peace, her brain cells. She's likely a Bloodbath, and definitely not strong, but who knows? Maybe she'll get better later.
1/22/2019 c3 SilverflowerXRavenpaw
She's been having nightmares for seven days? Why tho? Like, did she forget about her friend for the last year?
She seems interesting. Reluctant Careers are a trope, but hopefully she'll become more than that. I'm intrigued to see how she grows.
She's been having nightmares for seven days? Why tho? Like, did she forget about her friend for the last year?
She seems interesting. Reluctant Careers are a trope, but hopefully she'll become more than that. I'm intrigued to see how she grows.
1/22/2019 c2 SilverflowerXRavenpaw
This form would work, for sure, but there are some things you might want. While not necessary at all, weaknesses, strengths, allying or not, what they show the Gamemakers, Capitol scenes, views on the Games, preferred weapons... Things like that can make writing a whole lot easier, since you get to know the tributes in-depth before writing them.
This form would work, for sure, but there are some things you might want. While not necessary at all, weaknesses, strengths, allying or not, what they show the Gamemakers, Capitol scenes, views on the Games, preferred weapons... Things like that can make writing a whole lot easier, since you get to know the tributes in-depth before writing them.
1/22/2019 c1 SilverflowerXRavenpaw
This is interesting. Most people don't write in caps much, or write such short chapters. It would appear that you're somewhat new, which is okay. You have a style, and you certainly drew me in. However, some people could get scared off by said style, so you might want to tone it down just a touch.
This is interesting. Most people don't write in caps much, or write such short chapters. It would appear that you're somewhat new, which is okay. You have a style, and you certainly drew me in. However, some people could get scared off by said style, so you might want to tone it down just a touch.
1/22/2019 c1 1Radio Free Death
This honestly reads like a parody. I mean, there would be grandparents who remember the dark days and have lived through all the games so far...I could go on but I honestly don't know if this is a trollfic or what.
1Radio Free DeathThis honestly reads like a parody. I mean, there would be grandparents who remember the dark days and have lived through all the games so far...I could go on but I honestly don't know if this is a trollfic or what.
1/21/2019 c6 4Kristy LeeKL
Not bad. Her condition seems to have improved since coming to the orphanage.
4Kristy LeeKLNot bad. Her condition seems to have improved since coming to the orphanage.
1/20/2019 c3 1Katie Blake
I love Zara! I like how you added the nightmares with her cousin, it gives her more of a reason to be terrified of the games. One thing is that Blaze and her would still be devastated if the other died because they're really close, but they didn't want to go too far in the relationship in case it happened :). I can't wait to see more of my girl Zara and your next tribute coming up! I also am excited to see what Zara does when she learns about her having to volunteer this year!
1Katie BlakeI love Zara! I like how you added the nightmares with her cousin, it gives her more of a reason to be terrified of the games. One thing is that Blaze and her would still be devastated if the other died because they're really close, but they didn't want to go too far in the relationship in case it happened :). I can't wait to see more of my girl Zara and your next tribute coming up! I also am excited to see what Zara does when she learns about her having to volunteer this year!